Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program. The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous program: features, characteristics, principles, effectiveness

Is there salvation from alcoholism? Of course, yes, but this path often seems too difficult. Defeating a bad habit means opening the way to your true self, stopping lying to yourself and compensating for problems with alcoholic oblivion. The task is not easy, but quite feasible. On the other hand, an addicted person has two paths: to sink lower and lower, or to find strength in himself and break the vicious circle, looking life in the face and starting his path anew. The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous system works very well for these purposes.

History of Alcoholics Anonymous

This system did not appear today. Since ancient times, people have sought to find in society those who suffer from the same illness as themselves. Together it is easier to endure all the hardships of treatment, and it is also much easier to recognize yourself as part of a mini-society than alone and abandoned by everyone. If we talk about the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous program, it has been working for 63 years and during this time it has been recognized as one of the most efficient systems to combat addiction, and this trend is visible not only in Russia, but throughout the world.

Program Basics

Not only specialists from drug treatment centers, but also people themselves who previously suffered from addiction confirm that the most effective program in the fight against addictions is the “12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous” program. It is difficult to count the number of people who have passed through these groups because participation in them is anonymous. However, the main value is that a person does not just undergo a course to relieve physical dependence, but undergoes deep personal psychotherapy, during which his view of the world should radically change. This is what makes it possible to gain a completely new quality of life. This is very important to understand and, most importantly, accept.

Theoretical platform

Like all other addiction treatment programs, the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous has a certain basis. This is a coherent theory that is based on a complex, biopsycho-socio-spiritual model of the disease. All of these approaches are extremely important, and each of them carries its own burden. Without sobering up a person, it is impossible to move on; only then do psychologists enter the fight for a healthy lifestyle. They can find exactly those points of tension, those painful moments, which are the triggers leading to addiction. Gestalt therapy is a basic tool for such work. It is based on its principles that Alcoholics Anonymous share their experiences and feelings. The 12 Step program carries the core values ​​of love and kindness, as well as faith. It was these strongholds that helped people withstand any life situations long before the first A.A. group was organized. They didn’t come up with anything new, but simply took as a basis what helps people hold on and stay sober.

Faith and religion: are these concepts the same?

In fact, no, perhaps that is why there are no disagreements between people all over the world, of different views and religions. They are all Alcoholics Anonymous. "12 Steps" is a book that reveals all the intricacies of this approach. The understanding of spirituality here is much broader than in each specific religion. That is why it will be easily accepted by both Catholics and Muslims, as well as atheists. Despite the fact that it is called spiritually oriented, it does not carry any specific religious content. If this were the case, the program would not have received worldwide significance. That is, God in the 12 Steps program is a kind of higher power, which in the understanding of each person will be different. This is the source of resources that the patient turns to. And what he calls it, Jesus, Buddha, the spirit of ancestors or collective consciousness, this is not important, the main thing is that the person feels support from him.

freedom of choice

This is the main difference between the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step program. Feedback from patients suggests that they decided to join the ranks of members of this organization precisely because no one forced them to do anything. They are free to come to meetings or not to do so. The program is truly universal; it leaves the final right of choice to everyone. Just insert the name of your problem instead of the words “alcohol” and “drug” - and get a ready-made solution.

Active patient position

This is absolutely necessary condition. Only by going deeply through each of its steps can you achieve a good result. Any problem can be solved through such activities, which is why the 12 Steps Alcoholics Anonymous group is best assistant for each of you. This is a clear and well-structured model that describes a program of actions that involve activity both internally and externally. That is, the work is carried out simultaneously both within oneself and in society. This very well helps to reorient a person, to get away from fruitless philosophizing. It is necessary not only to think, but also to start doing. Theory is very useful, but you will never learn to swim by reading a book on technique. It is also impossible to help yourself by simply studying the contents of the 12 steps.

Brief algorithm, or What you have to do

In fact, everything is intuitively simple and clear, which is precisely what makes the “12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous” program universal. Reviews say that even a person without a secondary education can quickly find his bearings and start working on himself no less successfully than, for example, a psychologist with higher education. You can consider the program as a working algorithm that promotes personality correction and changes in its quality.

The first and probably most difficult thing is to admit the problem. This is a huge and most difficult step. Not for one day, but forever, you have to admit your powerlessness over alcoholism. This step causes resistance among many beginners, and only as time passes do they begin to understand its value.

The third step is again a test, making a decision. And it is realized by a simple and complex thesis: I entrust my life to God as I understand him. And at this stage prayers help a lot. In the morning the patient asks God for strength to remain sober, and in the evening he thanks him for the gift of the day. This is both an acknowledgment of the presence of a higher power greater and more powerful than yourself, and the realization that it cares about you.

Then practical exercises begin, this is self-analysis. The fourth step is to evaluate your life with moral point vision. Group classes help an alcoholic who sees only the bad in himself to find good traits in his personality. This is how the restoration of the soul occurs, as if a person has returned to his own and little by little begins to make major repairs.

The fifth step is confession, that is, recognition of the true nature of one’s errors before God and people. This is cleansing. It is needed to part with the past. Working out your own shortcomings and developing healthy social connections.

The sixth step is preparing yourself to get rid of all shortcomings. This is the path of one’s own growing up, the recognition that the entire path of alcoholism is compensation for one’s low self-esteem. The patient in the group understands that he just needs to love himself and that he does not owe anything to anyone. At the same time, each patient must admit that he has acted until now like an impulsive child.

The seventh step is humility. The patient asks higher power correct its flaws. You need to learn to humbly talk about the most difficult and unpleasant moments of your life to other people. This is another brick that is not so easy to lay.

The eighth step - now the patient is ready to return to society, to his old connections that are important to him. At the same time, the task is again difficult - to make a list of people whom you have harmed. At this stage, the group members are filled with the desire to make amends.

The ninth step is to continue working on returning to normal society. The alcoholic personally compensates for the damage to all those people whose list he compiled in the previous step.

At the tenth step, group members continue self-analysis and immediately admit their mistakes if they make them.

The eleventh step is the desire to become closer to God through prayer and reflection.

Finally, the final step, which can last indefinitely, is the transfer of experience, helping other alcoholics.

Working with drug addicts in St. Petersburg

This organization has been operating for many years in a row; the first center was formed 14 years ago. Today there are branches all over major cities Russia. The main methodology used is the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous program. In St. Petersburg, many people know this organization and trust the authority of its specialists, since the results are truly stunning. At the same time, meetings of alcoholics themselves are only part of a larger work.

Center specialists take into account individual characteristics each client, and in addition, they perform another important mission, helping relatives cope with codependency. Various events, family education, legal lectures, lectures on medical hygiene. The center’s specialists provide a full guarantee of getting rid of all types of addiction if you follow all the recommendations given by the specialists.

What happens in class?

The 12 Steps Society of Alcoholics Anonymous is a kind of commune that is united by one single goal - to stop degrading and destroying oneself and start a normal life. It is very important that in classes there are not doctors, professors and psychologists nearby with sometimes incomprehensible lectures, but people like the newly converted alcoholic himself. Very often you can hear the phrase that only those who have experienced cravings for alcohol or drugs can understand an addicted person. That's what happens here in the group. All people with the same story gather here. The reasons are different for everyone, the fall is always the same. No one will scold or try to change it, everything is completely voluntary. It is very noteworthy that there are no leaders or organizers or founders here. Each session can be taught by different people.

This makes the system even more flexible. Yes, there are those who want to leave at the first lesson. But this is everyone’s decision, forced hospitalization and a course of treatment will also not yield results if a person does not set out to change his life. Surprisingly, in class, everyone essentially repeats the story of the previous and next speaker. At the same time, it is very valuable that people who are already sober admit for several years: “I am an alcoholic.” This helps newbies remove the barrier and admit their problem. From here further treatment begins to unfold.

Let's sum it up

The 12 Step program is one of the best methods for rehabilitating addicted people. There are activists who gather a group and travel far outside the city, to a farm or simply to the mountains, where they can live in tents. Fresh air, physical labor and separation from the former environment, together with regular meetings, give good results. The only task left is to return to the usual rhythm and avoid the temptation to return to old habits.

Treatment for drug addiction can be truly effective if you use a 12-step program. Of course it's not quick way. But all over the world this program was recognized not only as effective, but also as the most civilized.

About the program

The 12-step treatment program has been in use since 1939 and has not been modified since then. That is, it is well structured and designed in accordance with the psychological model of life. It should also be noted that it is very versatile, since it is used to treat various forms dependencies.

Drug addiction is a disease characterized by persistent psychological dependence. This disease can now be successfully treated using the 12 step program. Narcotics Anonymous groups, when working with addicts, are based on the principles of this program. It is also designed to work with loved ones of drug addicts, since they are codependent and this is also a problem.

The Narcotics Anonymous community appeared somewhat later than the Alcoholics Anonymous community, but the principles and traditions of work were the same. Today these groups exist in all big cities. These meetings may be attended by drug addicts or people who believe they are developing a drug problem. Relatives and friends are only allowed to attend open meetings. They usually take place once a week.

Attention!

In our centers we use the world program “12 steps”. We have been working since 1996 throughout Russia. The technique was recognized as the best by the country's chief narcologist E.A. Brun

Rehabilitation

Psychological rehabilitation is a long-term stage. It is better that it lasts at least 6 months, this period is very important. Since statistics say that 87% of rehabilitators stopped using drugs after being in a rehabilitation center for 6 months or more.

Psychological rehabilitation involves specialists working with drug addicts. The specialists include psychologists, psychotherapists, and counselors, some of whom have used drugs themselves and have already long time remain sober. These people help a person recognize his addiction to the fullest extent. And then they help the drug addict change his habits, lifestyle, and acquire new skills and hobbies.

Verified rehabilitation centers. The most effective treatment method

It is important to understand that they do not dictate anything to anyone or force them to do anything; they simply help the drug addict and stimulate him to take action.

For your information:

During the time spent in a rehabilitation center, a person misses something, gains something new for himself, but in any case, all this has a good effect on him.

One of the main objectives of this program is to fill the spiritual and moral spheres of a person’s personality, since during drug use they are completely exhausted.

After treatment program

Social rehabilitation is the third stage of recovery. It is also very important, since a person stays in a rehabilitation center for quite a long time and gets used to that environment. And when he returns home, he is faced with a completely different reality.

The addict experiences fears of society and does not yet know how to join it as a new person. A psychologist, whom he needs to visit after the rehabilitation center, will help him adapt. Such meetings can be group meetings, that is, 5 people each. As a rule, you need to visit a psychologist 2-3 times a week. The duration of such therapy can be from 2 to 6 months, it all depends on how quickly the person adapts.

At the same time, you can attend Narcotics Anonymous groups. They also work according to the 12 step program. People with different experiences gather there for different periods sobriety and exchange information. There, the addict will receive additional motivation to continue on his path to recovery. Namely, when in a group people tell their stories who have not used for 10 years and live happily. This is the support and motivation that a person needs at this stage. It is also important to help other addicts, for example, those who have recently quit using and are still struggling with their desires. This also encourages you not to stop and helps you realize your achievements in recovery.

Affordable rehabilitation

Today, the most accessible and effective centers are those that are members of the “Association of Accessible Rehabilitation Centers” in Russia. These centers practice the 12 step program. At the same time, assistance is provided not only during the period of rehabilitation, but also in the post-rehabilitation period when restoring the social status of the dependent. Also, the centers included in the “Association” provide psychological assistance loved ones and relatives of drug addicts.

Attention!

The information in the article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute instructions for use. Consult your healthcare provider.

Recently, forms of painful dependence on psychoactive substances - drug addiction, substance abuse, alcoholism - have been commonly combined under the general term “dependence on chemically active compounds,” or “chemical dependence” for short. A patient suffering from chemical dependence rarely lives in complete isolation. Usually he lives either in his parents’ or in a family created by him with children and a wife (husband). Chemical dependence of one of the family members inevitably disrupts family relationships. In the majority of families in which patients with chemical dependence live, complications are found, which in the last 15 years have come to be designated by the term codependency (co is a prefix indicating compatibility, a combination of actions, conditions).

Codependency is not only a painful condition for the sufferer (sometimes more painful than chemical dependence itself), but also for family members who accept rules and forms of relationships that support the family in a dysfunctional state. Codependency is a risk factor for the relapse of chemical dependence in a patient, a risk factor for the occurrence of various disorders in the offspring, primarily the risk of chemical dependence, and the basis for the development of psychosomatic diseases and depression.

When they talk about the low effectiveness of treatment for a patient with chemical dependence, they often complain that “the patient has returned to the same environment.” Indeed, the environment can contribute to the relapse of the disease, especially the family environment.

Chemical dependency runs in families. There are theories that view chemical dependency as a symptom of family dysfunction. It follows from this that the drug treatment system should provide not only treatment for addiction to alcohol and drugs, but also treatment for codependency. Help is needed both for the patient and other relatives living with him.

Definition of codependency

There is no single, all-encompassing definition of codependency. Therefore, we have to resort to describing the phenomenology of this state. After reviewing many definitions in the literature of this condition, I accepted the following as a working one: “A codependent person is someone who is completely absorbed in controlling the behavior of another person, and does not care at all about satisfying his own vital needs.”

Codependents are:

1) persons who are married or in a close relationship with a patient with chemical dependence;

2) persons who have one or both parents with chemical dependency;

3) persons who grew up in emotionally repressive families.

Parental family of codependents

Codependents come from families in which there was either chemical dependence or abuse (physical, sexual or emotional aggression), and the natural expression of feelings was prohibited ("don't cry", "you were so happy that you didn't have to cry" "Boys shouldn't cry"). Such families are called dysfunctional.

Family is main system to which each of us belongs. A system is a group of people interacting as one. Since all parts of this system are in close contact, the improvement (deterioration) of the condition of one of the family members inevitably affects the well-being of others. To help the entire family function better, it is not necessary to wait until someone with chemical dependency seeks treatment. The life of a family can improve significantly if at least one of the codependent members begins to recover from codependency.

The highest goal of family therapy is to help transform a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

Signs of a dysfunctional family:

1. Denying problems and maintaining illusions.
2. Vacuum of intimacy
3. Frozen rules and roles
4. Conflict in relationships
5. Undifferentiation of the “I” of each member (“If mom is angry, then everyone is angry”)
6. Personality boundaries are either mixed or tightly separated invisible wall
7. Everyone hides the family secret and maintains a façade of pseudo-well-being
8. Tendency to polarity of feelings and judgments
9. Closed system
10. Absolutization of will, control.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family is subject to certain rules. Here are some of them: adults are the child’s owners; only adults determine what is right and wrong; parents keep emotional distance; the child's will, regarded as stubbornness, must be broken as soon as possible.

Signs of a functional family:

1. Problems are acknowledged and resolved
2. Freedoms are encouraged (freedom of perception, thought and discussion, freedom to have your own feelings, desires, freedom of creativity)
3. Each family member has its own unique value, differences between family members are highly valued
4. Family members know how to satisfy their needs
5. Parents do what they say
6. Role functions are chosen, not imposed.
7. There is room for fun in the family
8. Mistakes are forgiven, you learn from them
9. Flexibility of all family rules, laws, the possibility of discussing them.
10. Any of the signs of a functional family can become the goal of one of the group psychotherapy sessions. Comparative characteristics of functional and dysfunctional families can be presented in a condensed form as follows.

Comparison of functional and dysfunctional families

Growing up in a dysfunctional family shapes those psychological characteristics, which form the basis of codependency. It would be incorrect to consider codependency only as a response to stress in the family in the form of chemical dependence in one of the members. Stress acts as a trigger, a starting mechanism, so that the existing soil begins to move. Here it is appropriate to recall the obsortative nature of marriages of alcoholics. Assortativity of marriages is a deviation from panmixia when choosing a marriage partner. In other words, assortativity is not a random choice of a spouse, but a choice based on the presence of certain characteristics. As a rule, such a choice is made unconsciously. The assortative nature of marriages with chemical dependency is confirmed by the fact that sick spouses are more often susceptible to a similar disease than representatives of the general population. The second evidence is that families of spouses are burdened with cases of addiction no less often than the families of patients with addiction themselves. It is known that daughters of alcoholic fathers marry men who are already alcoholic or may become ill in the future. Assortativity also explains the fact that a second marriage often turns out to be as “alcoholic” as the first.

From the practice of group psychotherapy for wives of chemically dependent patients, it follows that in a group of 12 women, usually 9 people are daughters of alcoholic fathers or mothers.

Basic characteristics of codependency

Low self-esteem - this is the main characteristic of codependents on which all others are based. This implies such a feature of codependents as an outward orientation. Codependents are completely dependent on external assessments, from relationships with others, although they have little idea how others should treat them. Due to low self-esteem, codependents can constantly criticize themselves, but cannot stand it when others criticize them, in which case they become self-confident, indignant, and angry. Codependents do not know how to accept compliments and praise properly, this may even increase their feelings of guilt, but at the same time, their mood may deteriorate due to the lack of such a powerful boost to their self-esteem as praise, “verbal strokes” according to E. Berne . Deep down, codependents don't think they're enough good people, they feel guilty when they spend money on themselves or indulge in entertainment.

They tell themselves that they can't do anything properly because they are afraid of making a mistake. Their minds and vocabulary are dominated by numerous “I should”, “You should”, “How should I behave with my husband?” Codependents are ashamed of their husband's drinking, but they are also ashamed of themselves.

Low self-esteem drives them when they strive to help others. Not believing that they can be loved and needed, they try to earn the love and attention of others and become indispensable in the family.

Compulsive desire to control the lives of others. Codependent wives, mothers, sisters of patients with addiction are controlling loved ones. They believe that they can control everything. The more chaotic the situation at home, the more effort they put into controlling it. Thinking that they can restrain the drunkenness of a loved one, control the perception of others through the impression they make, it seems to them that others see their family as they portray it. Codependents are confident that they know better than anyone in the family how events should develop and how other members should behave. Codependents try not to allow others to be themselves and events to happen. naturally. To control others, codependents use various means - threats, persuasion, coercion, advice, thereby emphasizing the helplessness of others (“my husband will be lost without me”).

An attempt to take control of almost uncontrollable events often leads to depression. Codependents view the inability to achieve goals in matters of control as their own defeat and loss of meaning in life. Repeated lesions worsen depression.

Another outcome of the controlled behavior of codependents is frustration and anger. Afraid of losing control over the situation, codependents themselves fall under the control of events or their loved ones who are chemically dependent. For example, the wife of an alcoholic quits her job in order to control her husband’s behavior. Her husband’s alcoholism continues, and in fact it is alcoholism that controls her life, manages her time, well-being, etc.

The desire to take care of others, to save others. Anyone who works in the field of addiction treatment has probably heard from the wives of chemically dependent patients: “I want to save my husband.” Codependents love to take care of others, often choosing the professions of a doctor, nurse, teacher, psychologist, teacher. Caring for others goes beyond what is reasonable and normal. Appropriate behavior stems from the codependent's belief that they are responsible for the feelings, thoughts, actions of others, for their choices, desires and needs, their well-being or lack of well-being, and even for fate itself. Codependents take responsibility for others, while being completely irresponsible with regard to their own well-being (they eat poorly, sleep poorly, do not visit a doctor, do not satisfy their own needs).

By saving the patient, codependents only contribute to the fact that he continues to use alcohol or drugs. And then the codependents get angry with him. The attempt to save never succeeds. This is just a destructive form of behavior for both the addict and the codependent.

The desire to save the patient is so great that codependents do things that they actually don’t want to do. They say “yes” when they would like to say “no”, they do for loved ones what they themselves can do for themselves. They meet the needs of their loved ones when they ask them to do so and do not even agree that their codependents do this for them. Codependents give more than they receive in situations related to the chemical dependence of a loved one. They speak and think for him, believe that they can control his feelings and do not ask what their loved one wants. They solve the problems of the other, and in joint activities (for example, housekeeping) they do more than they should do according to a fair division of responsibilities.

Such “care” for the patient presupposes his incompetence, helplessness and inability to do what a codependent loved one does for him. All this gives codependents a reason to feel constantly needed and irreplaceable.

When “saving” a chemically dependent patient, codependents inevitably obey the laws known as the “S. Karpman Drama Triangle” or the “Power Triangle”.

S. Karpman triangle

Codependents try to save others because for them it is easier than enduring discomfort and awkwardness, and sometimes mental pain, when faced with unresolved problems. Codependents don't say: "It's too bad that you have such a problem. How can I help you?" Their answer is: "I'm here. I'll do it for you."

If a codependent person does not learn to recognize the moments when he needs to be a rescuer, then he will constantly allow others to put him in the position of a victim. In fact, codependents themselves participate in the process of their own victimization. The drama develops according to the principle of S. Karpman's triangle.

The shift in roles in the triangle is accompanied by a change in emotions, and quite intense ones at that. The time a codependent person spends in one role can last from a few seconds to several years; in one day, you can alternately play the role of rescuer - persecutor - victim twenty times. The goal of psychotherapy in this case is to teach codependents to recognize their roles and consciously refuse the role of rescuer. Prevention of the victim's condition consists of consciously not accepting the role of a rescuer.

Feelings. Many actions of codependents are motivated by fear, which is the basis for the development of any addiction. Fear of facing reality, fear of abandonment, fear that the worst will happen, fear of losing control over life, etc. When people are in constant fear, they have a progressive tendency to become rigid in body, spirit, and soul. Fear fetters freedom of choice. The world in which codependents live puts pressure on them, is unclear to them, full of anxious forebodings and expectations of bad things. In such circumstances, codependents become more and more rigid and increase their control. They are desperately trying to maintain the illusion of the world they have built.

In addition to fear, codependents may have other feelings that predominate in the emotional sphere: anxiety, shame, guilt, lingering despair, indignation and even rage.

There is, however, another characteristic feature emotional sphere- numbing of feelings (fogging, unclear perception) or even a complete renunciation of feelings. As the stressful situation in the family lasts, codependents' tolerance for emotional pain and tolerance increases. negative emotions. A mechanism of emotional pain relief such as refusal to feel, because feeling is too painful, contributes to the growth of tolerance.

The lives of codependents proceed as if they were not perceived by all senses. They seem to have lost the skills of recognizing and understanding their feelings. They are too preoccupied with satisfying other people's desires. One of the definitions of codependency is: "Codependency is self-denial." Codependents even think that they have no right to their feelings; they are ready to renounce their sensory experience.

In addition to the fact that codependents have lost their natural connection with their feelings, they are also accustomed to the distortion of feelings. They have learned that only acceptable feelings can be felt. A codependent wife wants to see herself as kind and loving, but in reality she feels indignant about her husband’s drunkenness. As a result, her anger transforms into self-confidence. The transformation of feelings occurs subconsciously.

Anger plays a big role in the lives of codependents. They feel hurt, resentful, angry and usually tend to live with people who feel the same way. They are afraid of their own anger and the anger of others. Expressing anger is often used to keep someone with whom it is difficult to build a relationship at a distance - “I’m angry, so he will leave.” Codependents try to suppress their anger, but this does not lead to relief, but only aggravates the condition. In this regard, codependents may cry a lot, be sick for a long time, commit disgusting acts to settle scores, and show hostility and violence. Codependents believe that they are being “turned on”, forced to be angry, and therefore they punish other people for it.

Guilt and shame are often present in their psychological state. They are ashamed of both their own behavior and the behavior of their loved ones who suffer from chemical addiction, since codependents do not have clear personality boundaries. Shame can lead to social isolation; in order to hide the “shame of the family,” codependents stop visiting and inviting people over.

Negative feelings, due to their intensity, can be generalized and spread to other people, including the psychotherapist. Self-loathing is easy to develop. Hiding shame and self-hatred can look like arrogance and superiority (another transformation of feelings).

Negation. Codependents use all forms of psychological defense: rationalization, minimization, repression, etc., but most of all denial. They tend to ignore problems or pretend that nothing serious is happening (“he just came home drunk again yesterday”). They seem to convince themselves that tomorrow everything will be better. Sometimes codependents are constantly busy doing something so as not to think about the main problem. They easily deceive themselves, believe lies, believe everything they are told if what is said coincides with what they want. The most striking example of gullibility, which is based on denial of the problem, is the situation when the wife of an alcoholic continues to believe for decades that he will stop drinking and everything will change by itself. They see only what they want to see and hear only what they want to hear.

Denial helps codependents live in a world of illusion because the truth is so painful that they cannot bear it. Denial is the mechanism that gives them the opportunity to deceive themselves. Dishonesty even towards oneself is a loss of moral principles; lying is unethical. Deceiving oneself is a destructive process both for the individual himself and for others. Deception is a form of spiritual degradation.

Codependents deny that they have signs of codependency.

It is denial that prevents them from motivating them to overcome their own problems and ask for help, prolongs and aggravates chemical dependence in a loved one, allows codependency to progress and keeps the entire family in a dysfunctional state.

Diseases caused by stress. The lives of codependents are accompanied by physical illnesses. These are psychosomatic disorders, such as gastric and duodenal ulcers, colitis, hypertension, headaches, neurocirculatory dystonia, asthma, tachycardia, arrhythmia, etc. Codependents become dependent on alcohol or tranquilizers more easily than other people.

They get sick because they are trying to control something that, in principle, cannot be controlled (someone's life). Codependents work a lot. They keep things in order. They spend a lot of energy trying to survive, which is why they develop functional insufficiency. The emergence of psychosomatic diseases indicates the progression of codependency.

Left unattended, codependency can lead to death due to psychosomatic illness and inattention to one's own problems.

Thus, the manifestations of codependency are quite diverse. They concern all aspects of mental activity, worldview, human behavior, belief system and values, as well as physical health.

Parallelism of manifestations of dependence and codependency

Some authors believe that codependency is the same disease as addiction. We do not completely share this point of view. Perhaps codependency more likely meets the criteria for pathological personality development. In any case, codependency can be better understood in terms of descriptive psychology than in terms of mental disorders. A deep understanding of the individual is especially necessary when we strive to provide psychological rather than medical assistance.

Whatever codependency is - a separate disease, a reaction to stress, or personality development - comparing this condition with addiction only helps to better understand the phenomenon being studied.

Codependency is the mirror image of addiction. The main psychological signs of any addiction are the triad:

Obsessive-compulsive thinking when it comes to the subject of addiction (alcoholism, drugs);
- denial as a form of psychological defense;

loss of control. Chemical dependency affects both the individual and his family:

Physically;
- psychologically;
- socially.

The above signs also apply to codependency. The similarities between dependence and codependency are seen in the fact that both conditions:

a) represent a primary disease and not a symptom of another disease;
b) lead to gradual physical, mental, emotional and spiritual degradation;
c) if not intervened, can lead to premature death;
d) during recovery they require a systemic shift both physically and psychologically.

Addiction to alcohol and drugs and codependency equally take away energy, health from the patient and his loved ones who live with him, and subjugate their thoughts and emotions. While the patient obsessively thinks about past or future drinking (chemical consumption), the thoughts of his wife (mother) are just as obsessively directed at possible ways control over his behavior.

For clarity, let us present the parallelism of manifestations of both states in the form of a table.

Table. Parallelism of manifestations of dependence and codependency

The list of similar features presented in the table is not exhaustive. Both addiction and codependency are long-term, chronic conditions that lead to suffering and deformation of the spiritual sphere. For codependents, this deformation is expressed in the fact that instead of love they harbor hatred for loved ones, lose faith in everyone except themselves, although they also do not trust their healthy impulses, and experience a burning feeling of jealousy, envy and hopelessness. Life for dependent patients and their codependent loved ones is spent in conditions of social isolation (communication with drinking buddies is not full).

Chemical dependence is often called a disease of irresponsibility. The patient is not responsible for the consequences of using the chemical substance or for the destruction of his health; he is also irresponsible towards other family members and does not fulfill parental responsibilities. Codependents only outwardly give the impression of overly responsible people, but they are equally irresponsible to their condition, to their needs, to their health and also cannot fulfill parental responsibilities.

Overcoming codependency

To overcome codependency, a program is used that includes: education on addiction and codependency, family system, individual and group psychotherapy, family psychotherapy, marital therapy, as well as reinforcement in the form of visiting self-help groups such as Al-Anon, reading literature on the relevant problem.

In treatment centers in the United States, where family programs are inpatient, persons included in the program are busy practically from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., conducting the following daily activities: lectures, group discussions in small groups, gradual mastery of the 12 step program, learning relaxation and stress management techniques, listening to lectures from former patients about their own experience, watching videos, individual counseling, working with literature, filling out questionnaires, keeping a diary of feelings.

Our own experience providing assistance to codependents only covers such forms of work as lectures, individual counseling and individual psychotherapy. The main method and the most desirable is group psychotherapy. In addition to this, we practice keeping a diary, doing homework, and reading recommended literature. After completing the program, the therapist recommends continuing recovery-promoting activities in Al-Anon groups.

It goes without saying that the psychotherapist only offers treatment, and the codependent individual chooses it or rejects it, i.e. The work is based on the principle of voluntariness. The dropout rate of those who seek help is large, but this should not confuse the psychotherapist, since people with this condition tend to resist any intervention. The motto of many codependents could be the words: “I will die, but I will not change.”

The formation of psychotherapeutic groups should occur after an individual consultation, during which the intra-family situation, the nature of the relationship between family members and the mental state of the person seeking help are studied. Throughout the entire treatment relationship, a patient with chemical dependence is given the opportunity to seek medical care at this time medical institution, where a codependent relative is treated. In our practice, it was basically like this: the patient’s wife was the first to seek help, and the patient himself came for treatment several months after the wife began treatment. In rare cases, treatment of spouses was simultaneous (he was treated as an inpatient, she was treated as an outpatient). About half of chemically dependent individuals entered treatment after their loved ones entered a codependency recovery program and made some progress.

At first we worked with open groups, then we began to give preference to groups closed type, i.e. Once formed, the group no longer accepted new members. Closed groups provide greater psychological comfort for their members. Their optimal number is 10-12 people. If there are fewer people in the group, then the variety of situations and opinions that serve as the basis for mastering new skills in family relationships is not great enough. If the number of people in a group is more than 12, then it is difficult to listen to everyone's opinion. If a group member does not “speak up,” he may be left feeling dissatisfied.

Group psychotherapy itself is preceded by an educational program outlining the concept of dependence and codependency, the main signs of codependency, the concept of a dysfunctional family, forms of psychological defense (6 lectures, 2 hours each). The educational part of the program, as well as all psychotherapy in general, is provided creative approach To her.

Lecture topics may vary depending on the needs of the group and their interest in certain aspects of the functioning of families.

Below are summary topics that we discussed in groups on overcoming codependency. Topic discussion included various types psychotherapeutic methods that, in our opinion, were appropriate in the course of classes. Group discussions began and ended with prayers for peace of mind and prayers used in Gestalt therapy.

Lesson 1. Topic: “Recognizing and responding to feelings.”

The purpose of the lesson is to learn in practice in a group to determine own feelings, see how many similarities exist between group members in the experience of negative emotions, and using the example of one of the feelings, understand how you can react to this feeling in a non-destructive way for yourself and others.

After reporting how you are feeling at the moment (this is useful to do at the beginning and end of the lesson, when the dynamics of feelings are visible), you can offer to do the following exercise in writing, and then discuss the answers of each group member. Very often, both addicts and codependents experience fear. Fear is a learned emotion. Therefore, through new training it can be curbed.

Exercise

1. List 1-2 of your fears that you faced today?
2. How have these fears limited your life today?
3. What can you do to reduce your fears?

Discussing answers to questions can lead group members to think more deeply about fear through other senses. Fear is a feeling of helplessness, anxiety, worry, horror, caused by the expectation of danger, pain, misfortune.

What can we do about our fears? This summarizes the experiences of the group members. This type of resume might include the following.

1. We can eliminate negative words and phrases like “I can’t help myself...” from our vocabulary.
2. Study the 12 step program
3. Balance your life
4. Expand your comfort zone by taking risks
5. Practice relaxation techniques.

The list goes on. Then do a relaxation exercise. Listen to a report on the well-being of each group member at the end of the lesson.

If group members have a desire, then in other classes you can work in a similar way with other emotions - anger, shame, or with such a reaction to feelings as tearfulness. The exercises can be created either by the psychotherapist himself or borrowed from the literature.

For example, you can hand out sheets of paper with the text: “Let’s evaluate our way of thinking.”

LET'S EVALUATE YOUR WAY OF THINKING

1. This has never happened to me;
2. This rarely happened to me;
3. This often happens to me;
4. it always happens like this

Place the number next to the question that corresponds to your opinion:

1. I'm afraid to let other people get to know me.
2. I'm afraid of the unexpected.
3. I look for disadvantages instead of advantages in most situations.
4. I feel unworthy of love.
5. I feel worse than other people.
6. I have a tendency to work constantly, overeat, gamble, and drink alcohol or other intoxicants.
7. I take little care of myself, preferring to take care of others.
8. I cannot get rid of the overwhelming feelings coming from the past, such as anger, fear, shame, sadness.
9. I seek praise and recognition by pleasing people, striving for excellence and overachievement.
10. I'm too serious and it's hard for me to play and fool around.
11. I developed health problems due to constant worry and stress.
12. I have a strong need to control others, to dictate my will to them.
13. I have difficulty expressing my feelings.
14. I don't love myself.
15. I have frequent crisis situations in my life.
16. It seems to me that I have become a victim of difficult circumstances.
17. I'm afraid of being rejected by those I love.
18. I sharply criticize myself, I am not even afraid to crush myself with reproaches.
19. I expect the worst in most cases.
20. When I make a mistake, I see myself as a worthless person.
21. I hold others to blame for all my difficulties.
22. I live on memories.
23. I am closed to new ideas or new ways of doing things.
24. I am upset or angry for a long time because of troubles.
25. I feel lonely both in isolation and when surrounded by people.

AMOUNT OF POINTS

25-54 is normal
55-69 - slightly biased towards codependency
70-140 - sharply shifted. We need to get rid of codependency.

Homework.

1. Write down your feelings at the moment in a journal. Read what came to you when the floodgates opened.
2. Find a trusted person to whom you can tell everything. The right person to talk to may be someone who will keep everything a secret, listen to you well, accept you for who you are, and who will not try to save you. Now switch roles and become that listener yourself. Write down your feelings in a journal.
3. Practice meditation. One of the possible meditations for today:

Today I will remember that feelings - the most important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in my family life, in friendship, at work. I will allow myself to feel any feelings and will not judge myself for it. People can only provoke certain feelings, but all feelings belong to me. I am the true owner of my feelings.

Lesson 2. Topic: "Controlling behavior."

The purpose of the lesson is to show the ineffectiveness of controlling behavior and motivate therapy participants to abandon it.

A question you might discuss is: How do you try to curb the drinking (or drug use) of an addicted family member? Mark those actions you took that led to desired result, and those that turned out to be in vain. Almost all actions, according to the experience of the group members, are in vain; It is only possible to postpone the use for some time, and then rarely. Thus, the fact of the ineffectiveness of controlling behavior becomes obvious.

Through an excursion into the childhood of one of the group members, you can show the origins of controlling behavior, which, as a rule, lie in parental family, where children's rights were often violated. The family valued weakness, obedience, lack of initiative and took away the right to take risks. The feeling of powerlessness that emerged then led to the need to control others. The child was taught: what you want to do does not coincide with what you can do. If you do what you want, you'll get in trouble. The child has learned to avoid troubles, i.e. learned to do what others want. Hence the complete concentration of attention on the lives of others and the belief in the ability to manage the life of a patient with addiction.

This session may discuss some of the following questions:

1. How long did it take you to realize that controlling behavior was ineffective?
2. Does controlling behavior bring you closer to family members?
3. Aren't you tired of feeling responsible for everyone and everything?
4. Do you realize that your energy is limitless?
5. How do others react to your control?
6. Do you see a connection between controlling behavior and your chronic feelings of dissatisfaction with life?
7. How could you use your abilities and your power constructively?
8. Do you feel strong deep down? Is your helplessness only on the surface?

The source of the need to control others is based on the fact that we all need love, security and a sense of power (significance). We loved - we were rejected. The result is increased control: we try to control others and get what we need from them. This behavior is accompanied by a feeling that the situation is getting out of control, which is dangerous. We are afraid of losing control both over Others and over ourselves. And to gain security, we obsessively control it. We all have a subconscious desire to feel more powerful than we actually are. This is also the source of the desire to control others. We deceive ourselves when we think that others need our control. We need this behavior in order to feel secure in our relationships.

In discussing the above points, the discussion should be brought to a conclusion about the negative consequences of controlling behavior, which is that it:

Prevents us from feeling;
- interferes with seeing reality;
- leads to tension in relationships;
- blocks trust;
- blocks the giving and receiving of love.

Particularly visual Negative consequences controlling behavior, if you trace long-term relationships - alienation between controlling (strict) parents and adult children, alienation in marital relationships.

However, in order not to increase the feelings of guilt among group members, it is necessary to emphasize that controlling behavior is not bad or shameful behavior, but a signal of stress, a signal that something is not going as desired. If we are in control, it means we cannot get what we need from others in any other way. Or we are afraid of losing what we have. Buried under control may be feelings such as fear, trust, love, honesty, resentment, pride, craving, anger.

How to recognize the approaching need to control others?

Such identification marks may include:

Tension (for example, if I decide to do something for others, I feel tension. If others try to control me, I experience resistance);

Accusation (“ah, you always...”, “ah, you never...”);

Immediacy, urgency (for something to happen, for something not to happen);

Refusal to feel (minimizing, denying, ignoring both one’s feelings and the feelings of another).

When we do not give a person the right to choose, we control. It is necessary to allow events to take their natural course.

Controlling behavior has the following characteristics:

1. This is an instinctive reaction, based on a feeling of powerlessness.
2. Because he doubts his feelings, the controlling person does not do what he wants; I wanted to ask for help, but I didn’t ask, I wanted to say “no,” but I said “yes.” The underlying false belief is that it is not good to satisfy your wants and needs.
3. Controlling behavior is a habit. The thought does not occur to me that there is a choice of other forms of behavior.
4. The practice of controlling behavior leads codependents to conclusions that make them feel even worse (for example, “nobody needs me”).
5. Codependents get what they seek—negative attention. Others ignore codependents, which reinforces low self-esteem.

To stop controlling behavior, we need to observe this instinct, trust our feelings and perceptions (what we feel is normal; what we perceive is true); Each time it is necessary to note the alternatives - what are the consequences of each choice. It is necessary to reconsider your own assumptions about others and know exactly what they feel, what they think. We must seek satisfaction of our own needs.

Controlling behavior provides our need for security. However, security is not achieved through control. Therefore, it is necessary to change tactics - to build trust, strengthen faith in one’s strength. To lead the group to a conclusion is to risk trusting those we love.

Controlling behavior contributes to powerlessness in relationships. If we feel strong, then the need to control others disappears. It is necessary to encourage group members to focus their energy and attention on their behavior, on their choices, on their goals, and ask them:

"How do you feel? What are you satisfied with and what are you unhappy with?" Focus on what they are happy with.

Benefits of stopping controlling behavior: release of energy, it is pleasant and even fun to feel lighter, freer. happier. Letting go of control is the key to a simpler, more joyful life.

Homework

1. Write a list of needs that you have begun to satisfy.
2. When you can't meet your needs yourself, do you dare ask reliable people to do it?

Lesson 3. Topic: "Suspension."

The purpose of the session is to understand the need to lovingly distance yourself from the person with a chemical dependency or problem and discuss how this can be done.

This task frightens codependents because they confuse healthy care for their loved ones and love for them with excessive involvement in the problem of chemical dependence.

Detachment is not cold, hostile isolation, or deprivation of loved ones of love and care. Detachment means freeing ourselves psychologically, emotionally, and sometimes physically from the web of unhealthy relationships in another person's life, taking some distance from problems we cannot resolve.

Detachment is based on the fact that each person is responsible for himself, so we cannot solve other people’s problems.” Worrying about another does not help. When we disengage, we take our hands off the control panel of responsibility for other people and strive only for responsibility for ourselves.

Using the examples of facts reported by group members during this discussion, it is necessary to emphasize that the codependents present here have already done quite a lot to resolve the problems of their loved one, and if the problem is still same could not be eliminated, then now you should learn to live either in spite of it or with it. A good technique here can be focusing on what is good in the lives of codependents at the present time, on a feeling of gratitude.

To enhance the feeling of gratitude, you can ask those present to list everything for which they can be grateful to fate at the present time. This technique allows them not to think about the problem in which they are overly involved.

Detachment means acquiring the skill of living “here and now”, in the present tense and without the favorite expression of codependents “If only...”. Regrets about the past and fears about the future are eradicated. Detachment involves accepting reality, facts. Detachment requires faith - in yourself, in other people, in the natural course of events, in fate, and helps faith in God.

Detachment is healthy neutrality.

Even at the dawn of its existence, humanity discovered, cooked and chewed substances that make life brighter and bring us closer to the gods. For many thousands of years, relations with these substances were not overshadowed by all sorts of ridiculous nonsense such as “moderation” and “contraindications.” In ancient Mesopotamia, mash was considered less harmful to health than water (which is not so stupid, considering the puddles they drank from). And in Egypt, opiates were even given to infants so that they would not whine and sleep better. Why, perhaps civilization even appeared thanks to addictions! There is a hypothesis that the ancients did not need to develop agriculture for the sake of food - it already grew in abundance around them. But start a garden with poppy seeds or coca (for the sake of pain relief, honestly), plant a tree with especially “stray” apples closer to the house... No, no, we need alcohol to disinfect the water! Do we drink a lot? How can we not drink when Hammurabi is angry and our tlachtli team lost again? That's how it all started.

The first timid calls for sobriety were heard only in the Middle Ages. Moreover, they had nothing to do with awareness of harm. Rather, it was an attempt to redistribute spheres of influence. When some monastic orders and communes took over winemaking and brewing, others tried to spite them by declaring alcohol poisonous. The idea of ​​sobriety was quickly declared heretical.

Like a beam in the eye, addiction was easier to spot in one’s neighbor than in oneself. There is evidence that the Vikings did not give mushrooms and alcohol to dogs, knowing that this would deprive them of their will and reason, but they calmly consumed it all themselves. And in America, for example, the first “Sobriety Circles” appeared in the second half of the 18th century - for group therapy drunken Indians. It’s funny that the creators of “Circles” themselves indulged in morphine, which came into fashion after the War of Independence. In general, being by nature less resistant to alcohol, small nations thought about how to overcome addiction earlier than others. For example, in Asia in the 19th century, such a method of combating alcoholism was developed. The drunkard was offered to swallow his favorite drink, but with mole blood, sparrow droppings and newborn eels. A natural session of enchanting vomiting sometimes also took place in a room hung with mirrors: having examined the process in detail, the alcoholic was imbued with a lifelong aversion to alcohol. By the way, the method worked. It's a pity that we imported acupuncture from Asia instead.

At the beginning of the 20th century, they tried to vaccinate against addictions - with the blood of drunken and "stuck" horses - alas, without success. In addition, experiments were carried out on treatment with poisons, gold salts and even... harder drugs. Alas, attempts to develop “antibodies” to addictions, as a rule, simply led to death.

At the same time, scientists first came up with the hypothesis about the poor heredity of dependent people. The idea did not receive proper genetic justification, which did not prevent a number of countries from adopting hasty laws. By 1922, 15 US states, for example, had introduced forced sterilization for people diagnosed with addiction. True, the Great Depression was already looming on the horizon, and everyone soon became uneasy. But the course for genetic and neurological research was taken - and by the end of the 20th century, addictions received their due status.

Addiction today

In the 21st century, psychologists not only discovered a whole bunch of new addictions (for example, from likes on social networks), but also finally recognized: the inability to live without anything, be it methadone, poker or quince jam, is a disease. Not a weakness of will, not a matter of habit, and not even generational curse. And a real disease. It even has a definition, formulated in 2011 by the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM): addiction is a primary chronic disorder that results in damage to areas of the brain, mainly the “pleasure center.” Memories of pleasure received in one way (less often, several) cause an obsessive desire to receive it again. And again... By the way, for the first time in many years, porn and computer games appeared in ASAM reports.

So, from the point of view modern science, addiction is a disease. The bad news: you still can't hang out at home with her on sick leave. Good: like any disease, it can be treated. And very often - at home.

Check for unfreedom

Today, the easiest way to check whether your love for some product/substance/activity is a terrible addiction is the CAGE test. In the original, CAGE is not only the English word "cell", but also an acronym indicating four symptoms. We tried, by virtue of our natural wit, to turn CAGE into PRISONER. The meaning and method of scoring remained the same. So, remember what you love most - and ask yourself:

For each positive answer, we awarded you one point. Close your eyes, try to calm down the bad feeling - and be horrified by the results.

Is there any other test?

Well, of course. AUDIT-method, one of the blocks of a clinical test for depression... But the trouble is - no matter which of the twenty “long” tests you take, its results are unlikely to differ radically from the PLEN test. So if you didn't like it, maybe it was just a matter of "acting out." This is also a symptom of addiction, when the brain tries to snap back for any reason: “It’s not my problem, it’s a stupid test!” But so be it, we’ll ask you 16 more questions. This questionnaire is universal, just replace the word “Occupation” with any other word - smoking, watching porn, reading your Facebook feed, drinking alcohol, shopping or, say, adoring Putin.

12 difficult steps

We promised that there would be no simple ones. But this does not mean that the course of treatment cannot, in principle, be reduced to steps. Our advice, suitable for almost any situation, is a compilation of ASAM reports and articles by T. Brochard, author of The Pocket Therapist and How to Make the Most of Bad Genes. More narrowly focused advice can be found even on the Internet, say, on wikihow.com. Although we would once again recommend going to the doctor instead. Especially if you are addicted to the Internet.

STEP 1 Like any war, your personal one begins with an announcement. A conscious choice in favor of independence is a step without which all others will be doomed to failure. No, of course, a sudden surprise lobotomy might work... But in general, addiction cannot be treated forcibly. The neurobiological basis of this process is still poorly understood, but it is known that the act of choice somehow “switches” the burned-out brain wiring.

STEP 2 Make two lists. The causal list should contain as many points as possible that answer the question WHY you no longer want to eat quince jam: it takes most of family budget, you don’t like how you look in photographs after it, etc. In the motivational answer the question WHAT your life will look like after getting rid of addiction. It would seem that this is extra work, and the second list will only repeat the first: “there will be more money", "there will be no sticky lumps in the bristles." But the lists different tasks. The first one needs to be felt once - read until you are blue in the face, until you begin to feel with your whole body why the habit is bad. The second will have to be visualized constantly so that the image of a better life displaces the urge for pleasure.

STEP 3 Even with purely psychological addiction you cannot break up overnight. And if some substances are built into the biochemistry of the body, an immediate rejection of them is fraught with all sorts of horrors. Therefore, appoint the exact date the start of the fight. Not earlier than in a week, and not later than in a month. The point is not to breathe in before death (although anything is possible until day X!). The task of the period is to negotiate everything internal dialogues and find counterarguments to all arguments like “this is my body”, “everyone will die someday”, “we live in a free (in this sense) country”, etc. When the war starts, you must be able to fight back the propaganda of internal demons .

STEP 4 Tell your family and friends about your decision. A dependent person, no matter how much he swaggers, is not capable of taking responsibility for his actions. It's a disease, don't forget. Let them help you hold on. And if they don’t help and instead of “You’re so great” they say: “Did you fall from the tree? How will you win back those three hundred thousand if you stop playing?!” - perhaps they are not exactly friends.

STEP 5 Find weak points in the defense. December 31st is the day of maximum vulnerability, because your friends will drag you to the bathhouse? One colleague doesn't believe in your struggle and tempts you to cling to the smoking nipple of the Cigarette Mother again? A brothel without butyrate - money down the drain? By making a list of triggers: places, people, rituals, periods of the day, you will be able to evade them more deftly.

STEP 6 Most likely, a total attack on addiction will be impossible without a lifestyle change. Divorce, new job, apartment renovation, deleting ALL Angry Birds games from the iPad - despite all the seeming impracticability, these actions are more than logical. Having taken the path of freedom, you will most likely understand that you no longer like the old environment - after all, it was created by a false, dependent “I”. And now the collection of bongs looks out of place on the desktop, and the wife who always drags you “to the party” is not so good in bed when sober...

STEP 7 There will be episodes of relapse and return to addiction. Just take it for granted and don't consider yourself a loser. Instead of self-criticism, start recording your experience. Write down your feelings at the moment of the breakdown (if, of course, you can catch the pen when it crawls onto the rainbow) and, most importantly, after it - the next morning, the next day, etc. Reread the breakdown diary INSTEAD of the breakdowns themselves.

STEP 8 As Brodsky wrote, the all-powerful Shah “can only change his harem with another harem.” Dependency is most easily replaced by another addiction. “Penelope therapy” works well when, in order to distract yourself from emotional outbursts, you start a routine, stupid, seemingly endless project: manually collecting all the insects in the dacha or something like that. Other replacement addiction options include sports and pets. Experts often recommend cats over dogs: they are less predictable, their behavior is less patterned. Therefore, the cat’s owner’s brain is constantly developing, forming new neural connections - and this is exactly what you need with your burnt-out wiring.

STEP 9 Talismans work well, or, in other words, scientific language, security anchors. An icon with the image of a flying pasta monster, a toy for your daughter, whom you promised to stop drinking, etc. The only main condition of the talisman is that it must always be with you, so that you can get it (and strengthen your resolve) at the first urge to return to the old .

STEP 10 Loiter more. Stress, activity, decision-making and haste provoke addictive, dependent behavior. You don't always have to try to "do something" good - sometimes it's easier (and just as useful) to "do nothing" bad.

STEP 11 Nobody canceled professional help. If going to a narcologist seems too serious a step for you, try to deceive the little Satan sitting on your shoulder - tell him that you are not going to treat addiction, but insomnia, tremors or depression. A comprehensive course prescribed by a good therapist, psychiatrist or sleep specialist can speed up recovery.

STEP 12 Celebrate any accomplishments, even the smallest ones, on the path to freedom. Of course, not in pieces chocolate cake and not a bottle of rare craft beer if you are being treated for sweet eating and alcoholism. However, no one bothers to reward yourself on the contrary - beer for diet and cake for sobriety!

And remember: addiction is a chronic disease. Like diabetes or a heart attack, it does not require a one-time course of treatment, but lifelong therapy. Unless, of course, you can get mole blood and sparrow droppings on the black market...

– rehabilitation.

You can “pull” the patient out of the binge by sending him to the hospital or calling a doctor home. Thereby saving his health from complete destruction.

You can code the patient by “forbidding” him to drink alcohol.

You can treat it with a therapist and other specialists. They will help restore the functions of affected organs ethyl alcohol.

BUT. the main problem still remains. The patient, as before, has an addiction. He is “somehow uncomfortable,” and it seems that a small drink could solve this problem. Well, just one, what’s so scary about that! There are still many problems in a person’s head, and he simply does not know how to cope with them, does not know what to do.

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous program was created specifically to solve these problems. It helps to cope with psychological dependence on ethyl alcohol and find your place in society.

The Origins of the 12 Step Program for Alcoholics

The 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous was developed in the USA in 1932.

It all started with the famous psychoanalyst Carl Jung. One day he was visited by a patient named Ronald H. with a very interesting story. Ronald suffered from alcoholism. More recently, he believed that he had perfectly mastered self-control techniques and got rid of the disease without anyone’s help. He felt like the absolute master of his fate...though not for long, because very soon he lost his temper and began drinking even more desperately.

Jung instilled in Ronaldo the idea that the addict himself was powerless. He must admit that he needs outside help.

Ronald changes his worldview and joins the famous “Oxford Group” - the first “society of anonymous alcoholics”. He gets rid of his addiction, begins to help others and soon meets another enterprising person, Edwin T. Together they develop new principles for the rehabilitation of patients. This is how the 12-step treatment plan for alcoholism is born. Today it is recognized as one of the most effective. And it is used with great success in our center.

12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: Program

STEP 1

“We recognize that we are powerless over alcohol addiction. We can't control our lives."

This is the most important confession that a patient must make to himself. There is great danger in the idea that “I can stop drinking on my own and I can keep everything under control.” Any smoker will tell you that he can quit, just “as long as he wants to indulge some more.” And everyone knows that this is a big lie and self-deception. The 12 steps for alcoholism begin with being honest with yourself.

STEP 2

“We understand that only an outside Power that surpasses our own will help us regain sanity.”

So, a person is ready to change his life. But he understands that he cannot do this on his own. This means you need to accept outside help and trust it.

STEP 3

“We have firmly decided to entrust our lives and will to God, the one in whom we believe.”

A person will not be able to trust an impersonal Power that he does not understand. It needs personification. This may be something different for everyone. Any deity and any powerful entity in which he believes. Thus, personality transformation occurs through the superego.

STEP 4

“We have fearlessly and deeply introspected from a moral perspective.”

Man places the super-essence inside himself. He begins to look at his past and his painful addiction more objectively, critically. He sees his guilt. But it cannot be left inside a person, so the next step is:

STEP 5

“We acknowledge to ourselves, to God and to those around us the causes and origins of our past errors.”

The man admitted his guilt, and he must leave it in the past. Now he understands why everything happened this way. Once the root of wrong behavior is discovered, you can begin to get rid of it.

STEP 6

“We are absolutely ready for God to remove our defects of character.”

The success of any endeavor depends on how prepared a person is for it. The patient already knows where he is coming from, to what and for what purpose. This important point in the work of any psychotherapist.

STEP 7

“We humbly ask God to deliver us from our vices.”

Now the patient and God know perfectly well what needs to be corrected. They have nothing to hide from each other. There's nothing to be ashamed of. There are no omissions and no falsehood. Only mutual desire and trust. It's time to start “whitening your self.”

STEP 8

“We understand that we have committed injustices against others in the past. Now we want to list these people and compensate them for damages.”

At this stage, a stable desire to correct one’s guilt should be developed. A person, as it were, “repays his debt” to the outside world under the guidance of his higher self, thereby destroying his guilt.

STEP 9

“We corrected those unfair, wrong actions that we committed towards others, where possible, except in cases where it could bring harm to a person.”

Guilt is one of the most big problems alcoholic patient at the rehabilitation stage. It can lead to a breakdown and resumption of addiction, aggression directed against oneself and other people.

STEP 10

“Now we always do introspection. We try to immediately admit and make amends for our guilt.”

At this stage, a person learns to transform feelings of guilt into aggression, and aggression into helping other people.

STEP 11

“We reflect and pray to our God because we want to better know his will, to understand our purpose in this world.”

In fact, a person begins to understand himself and listen to his superego. It is very important that all positive instructions from the new inner voice are transformed into actions as quickly as possible.

STEP 12

“By following these steps, we became better people and awakened to a new, happy life. This is possible for any alcoholic! We need to bring this great news to everyone who has not yet gotten rid of addiction, and use these principles in any business.”

alcoholism rehabilitation