How to get out of a hopeless situation? A hopeless, difficult life situation - how to find a way out of an impasse.

We give advice right and left that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and not even one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overcome by troubles that are coming from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.

What to do in a difficult life situation, where you see one dead end? There are practical tips on how to proceed in this case.

1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. No need to quickly rush into the pool with your head and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to even bigger problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take some time to think about why it turned out the way it did, and not completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.

2. Effective advice on how to get out of the impasse is to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm you at that moment. Fear, anger, disappointment interfere with normal concentration in front of the resulting problem. Often, our negative emotions, which are on a huge scale, we make an elephant out of a fly, and it’s done, we don’t see any way out, one dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, if you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not keep destructive energy in yourself.

3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then will bright thoughts begin to come into your head and everything will become clear from a different angle. Prepare yourself tea with lemon and ginger, or make yourself hot coffee, energy drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of an impasse, even the most absurd ones, in such cases all means are good.

4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned away in difficult times. There is a proverb "One head is good, but two is better." Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes it is more visible from the outside.

5. The next step will be a full analysis of the proposed ideas. Consider all the pros and cons. Make three thorough plans to get out of the crisis. Plan A and B are the most effective, and Plan C is the back-up. Clearly thought-out scenarios, several options, give much more percentage of success than one.

6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put into action your anti-crisis plan. Going step by step, not stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and understanding what to do will come by itself.

7. In difficult times, people who care about you and to whom you are very dear will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.

8. In our life, we rely a lot on circumstances, while realizing that they do not bode well. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and do not let circumstances take over you.

9. Another effective way to get out of a deadlock is to exclude people with. In the environment of each person, there is sure to be such a person who will exaggerate and lower faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive moments, they have only one negative around them. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise, you will panic and give up.

10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you during the time that you get out of the current situation. Strive to associate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.

11. In difficult moments, you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, everyone has them. It will be stupidity that you will sit idly by. Each of your mistakes will be a lesson from which you will draw useful and necessary information for yourself.

12. Do not listen to those who say that they know how you better live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you for past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, the same losers as they are. This is your life and only you can decide if you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!

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positive psychology 08.10.2016

Dear readers, each of us at least once in our lives has found ourselves in crisis situations, and everyone knows that “saving the drowning is the work of the drowning themselves”, and that even if everything is very bad, there is still a way out!

And today on the blog I want to present you a kind of continuation of the topic raised in the article from Marina Tamilova - a teacher, psychologist and a person of versatile hobbies. I give the floor to Marina, who this time will share with you her own recipe for getting out of difficult life situations, which often abound in our lives.

Dear readers, in today's article I want to offer you my personal, working, method of pulling yourself out of life's impasse. No matter how bad you feel, sooner or later you will have to pull yourself together and move forward. Hope I can help you with this...

What is the scariest thing in life

Life often presents a person with surprises: both pleasant and unpleasant. Someone has more pleasant, but someone, on the contrary. Sometimes people live for years in misfortunes and stresses, and not invented, but the most real: an endless series of illnesses, deaths of relatives, impoverishment, family breakdown and even homelessness. Such misfortunes simply kill a person from the inside, destroying his soul and leading further and further away from unity with the Absolute.

The most terrible thing in this situation is that many cannot stand it (and they can be understood), take offense at the whole world and turn away from the Source from which we all came. It is very difficult not to be offended when the hardest trials fall on your lot. While other people live and enjoy life to the fullest. How to explain to a normal person who tries to live according to his conscience that all problems come from himself, and people and God have absolutely nothing to do with it.

You should always understand that the life situation that you have in the present is the result of your actions or, conversely, inaction in the past. It is useless to be offended by this. A person always has a choice: to be offended or not, to help someone not, to respond with evil to evil or not, to choose this particular person or another as a spouse, to accept a low-paid job and complain about poverty, or to take responsibility for one’s life and create themselves anew in accordance with their ideas about their own lives.

Most often, a person chooses to do nothing, because it is scary, and it is not known what lies ahead. We are not used to freedom. Especially the older generation, who grew up in the Soviet Union and got used to the fact that everything in life is planned and understandable. At that time, a good education guaranteed employment and good earnings, but now it does not. Many well-educated people in their forties were confused and could not find their place in life, which led to a series of suicides and mental disorders in the 90s.

“Thanks to” perestroika, we have lost several generations of “psychological children, adolescents and young men” who simply could not adapt. Survived and rose more persistent, able to fight for their "place under the sun" both physically and morally. But these are only 10% of the population. It is they who occupy places in the Forbes lists.

The most difficult thing in our time is for “psychological youths” - these are people, often with several higher educations, very smart and comprehensively educated. Unfortunately, they are used to a lot of thinking, but not doing. That is why they are at very low levels of society, and sometimes below the poverty line, if they could not adequately "sell" their intellect. In general, most people behave as if they have 500 years left to live, as Bill Gates once put it.

Life dead end. What to do? How to find a way out of a difficult situation

There are several options:

• go to people for help;
• help someone who is even worse;
• carry out general cleaning in the house;
• get rid of negative thoughts and beliefs;
• forgive everyone;
• stop being offended at all;
• get out of the comfort zone;
• take responsibility for your life.

The last item on this list is the most important. You need to understand that no one, instead of you, will create you anew, or make you a completely different person.

They can help you financially, if you're lucky, help with work, but no one, instead of you, will mold you into a new strong personality who will be able to live by your own rules and succeed at the same time. Nobody argues that it is difficult. Especially when present, emotional instability. Periods of inspiration and activity are replaced by times of complete despair and the feeling that nothing will ever work out, and it is better to “go with the flow”, leaving everything as it is. And now specifically what you personally need to do to change your life.

We paint our life

Sit down in silence and write down in detail what you want in life. Do not be shy. For example, if you want a yacht and a villa in Italy, then write, no matter how stupid and unrealistic it all seems to you.

Visualization

Find bright pictures of your future life, stick them on a large sheet of drawing paper along with your photos in chic interiors next to a handsome prince or princess. Whatman paper should be hung in the most prominent place in your apartment. This is very inspiring.

Looking for inspiration

Find music and meditations that inspire you personally on the Internet and listen to it every day.

What about insults?

Get rid of all insults honestly and be sure that if you don’t, then it’s like “to spite the conductor” - buy a ticket and go on foot. It is the accumulated grievances and the old rubbish of unfinished business and desires that do not allow you to move forward. If you are a Christian, go to church often and pray. For some, this helps a lot in difficult situations. Confess, take communion, light candles and pray for everyone who offended you. This will bring your soul invaluable benefits.

Pullback moments

In moments of “kickbacks”, when you want to roar and do nothing, sit and roar, beat dishes, scatter things, dance until you drop to let off steam. And when the tantrum is over, put things in order and start all over again. Over time, such disruptions will become less and less. Everyone has them. It is your EGO that resists letting you into a new bright life. Not only the EGO resists, but also the egregore of the negativity that you have been accumulating for years. Egregors are a kind of energy fields to which each of us is connected. Egregors feed on your emotions. If you live, for the most part, in negativity, then you attract negative egregors to yourself, which are unprofitable for you to change.

Steps and steps

Do something little by little every day to move towards your goal. Don't get frustrated because you can't. Sooner or later you will succeed if you are persistent enough and do not stop halfway. If you do not regularly create yourself and your life, then life, environment and other people will create you, and they will do it in such a way that you will not like it at all.

Our Action Plan

Make a plan of your actions in the real world and a list of psychological practices that you need to perform every day to get out of a crisis situation. Exercise helps to move forward and neutralize fears, anxiety and pessimism. Incorporate regular exercise into your daily schedule as well, as your body is the "temple of the soul." The more in a better condition your body is, the more energy, will and strength you have to create your new life.

Just start doing

It must be said that many people do everything that I wrote about above, but they never move on to real actions, unable to move themselves at all. This is because your thoughts are still in the negative. Subconsciously, you still do not believe in yourself and feel that you are not worthy of change.

What to do with it? It will take time for you to develop the habit of replacing each of your negative thoughts with 2-3 positive ones. For example: “I won’t succeed” you can replace with “I am a beloved child of God, and all his blessings are created for me”, “if God is for me, then who is against me?”, “I always succeed, because that God is in control of all my actions.”

For atheists and representatives of other religions, I note that the word God here means the Creator of all things, the Universe, which exists independently of any beliefs and religions created by man. This is the Absolute, which is above everything and which is the most powerful energy of unconditional love, from which we all came.

In addition to the purification of thoughts, you will need to purify your body, which is also accustomed to suffering. Slags and toxins accumulate in the body not only from alcohol, nicotine and junk food that we all use, especially in moments of psychological stress and melancholy. The negative from the corresponding mental thought forms also gets stuck in the body. We feel it in tense muscles, a distorted and gloomy face, chronic diseases. That is why massage, the release of bodily blocks and physical exercises must be made their constant companions on the way to a brighter future.

Effective practices for getting out of life's impasse

In conclusion, I will give several effective methods of first aid, when once again the thought came that “everything is bad, and it will always be like this”:

• smile - to let the body know that everything is fine;
• jump - to shake and cheer up the body;
• walking, sitting and living only with a straight back - this is fundamentally important, because. energy passes through the spine;
• pinch your little finger - to pull out of bad thoughts;
• to the question "how are you?" ALWAYS answer “the best!”;
• walk home and work on different routes and better on foot - to create a feeling of change and vigor.

When you learn how to pull yourself out of a state of melancholy with such methods, then you can more closely tune in to a positive wave of your inner world using the techniques indicated in this article.

I thank Marina for the thoughts. From myself I want to say that you should never give up, no matter what happens in your life. If something happens, it's all just our lessons. So, for something, we need to go through everything. I've been through so much myself. And every time I was looking for a way out of their crisis.

Perhaps many will say, after reading the steps, all this is banal, I did it, it didn’t help me, nothing can be changed, and some of these thoughts continue. I would like to focus on such a moment: when a person is under stress, very rarely he himself will be able to get out of the crisis. It's just that emotions are running high, preventing us from thinking. The exception is people who already have a lot of wisdom, a lot of knowledge about our work on ourselves.

Do not close yourself in any case! Look for a person, possibly a professional, who will be close to you and whom you can hear. It can be a psychologist, a wise friend, and the necessary useful books. And ask the Universe for help. I remember how in the most difficult times I came up to the window in the evening, looked at the starry sky, asked questions and asked them to give me the strength to cope.

There is no one recipe for all. We are all different. But it is imperative to look for something that will help you get out of a crisis situation. This is our path.

And the most important thing for all of us, as Marina correctly wrote, is to make our CHOICE. This applies to everything. And health, and a beautiful job, worthy of you, and a loved one nearby, and simple joys. I wish everyone a worthy choice, wisdom and steps, work in this direction.

Dear readers, it is difficult to grasp the immensity in one article. If you have difficult times, go to our section. I am sure that you will find a lot of useful things for yourself. Perhaps this is where your work on yourself will begin, including on overcoming the crisis.

And more news from me from our creative team. Our autumn issue of the magazine "Fragrances of Happiness" - Wings of Autumn has been released. You can find out about everything here.

Autumn issue of Fragrances of Happiness

And for the soul, we will listen to Richard Clayderman Mariage d'amour. Relax with pleasant music.

see also

19 comments

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Elina
09 Feb 2017 at 17:33

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Whoever you are and whatever you achieve, troubles can always happen, and it will seem to you that life will never get better. However, remember that your attitude is what matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads the study on adult development, has been following 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in the community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to deal with the intense emotions that often accompany life's challenges. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be the result of fear - they will be justified.

1. Stop negative self-talk

First of all, you need to let go of limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative self-talk by asking yourself:

• What facts for and against are available to me?
• Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
• Perhaps I am drawing hasty negative conclusions?
• How do I know if my thoughts are correct?
• Is there another way to look at this situation?
• Is the situation really as dire as it seems to me?
• Does this mindset help me reach my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation in order to look at the problem from the other side.

2. Keep perspective

Your current problem in the context of your whole life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic image of your life in mind and ask yourself:

• What can happen in the worst case? Is it likely?
• And at the best?
• What is most likely to happen?
• What will this mean five years from now?
• Perhaps I am giving too much importance to this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“There is a gap between stimulus and response, in that gap we have the freedom to choose our response. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your best friend in this situation? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

• Think about what kind of person you would like to be
• Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
• See the results of your actions
• Imagine a better answer
• Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the reactions of the other side

Harvard scholars have proven that using empathy in disagreement is essential to conflict resolution and is a critical prerequisite for a successful negotiation outcome.

5. Assess the situation from the position of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can go beyond the situation, discard emotions and follow your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your identity from the situation.

6. Seek outside help

In any situation where your own experience is not enough, look for wise advice. Suppress your ego and ask for a critical eye and constructive feedback, and once you're done, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not one. A problem is just one aspect of your path, and it is also a source of growth. Do not run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this, too, will pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

In a person's life there are many complex and sometimes hopeless, impasse situations. And often people do not know what to do and how to get out of the impasse.

Today, on the site of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.

Desperate situation - life's impasse

In most dead ends in life, people wind themselves up. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because. at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.

When a person is under stress, he thinks stereotypically, and on emotions - he is annoyed or depressed.

What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person's life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - it is also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.

He is under stress, depression or neurosis at this moment, therefore he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.

What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance for yourself that there are no hopeless situations.

You can always find a way out of the circumstances and make your choice.

Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
In order to prevent crises - to have as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - to make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your "comfort zone".

In other words, in order for you not to have serious impasses in life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.

"Constantly" is a lifetime. Then you do not have to look for a way out of the impasse - you simply will not get into it.

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation

If you have ALREADY found yourself in a dead-end, crisis situation, then you need to immediately get out of it. First of all, by relieving stress and changing the attitude towards the problem itself.

How to find a way out of a dead-end, hopeless situation?

1. You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psycho-training, deep breathing, or by changing your negative thoughts about the problem to more positive or neutral ones;
2. After you normalize thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
3. If you have few obvious choices, for example only two, you will be able to rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
4. If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
5. If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, resort to help ...

Help in a difficult life situation

When people cannot get out of life's impasse on their own - they are stressed, depressed, "nervous" - then professional, psychological help is needed in crisis situations.

After the removal of neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.

Consult online psychologist-psychoanalyst Matveev Oleg Vyacheslavovich

This is a stupor that hinders any development. If a person is confused in life, he ceases to enjoy what he has. Neither work, nor family, nor hobbies inspire. The desire and desire to move to new heights disappears. All due to the fact that ahead, as it seems, is a dead end in life, and there is no sense and joy in anything.

When life has reached a dead end, it is important to find a way out of it as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you risk being depressed. And the solution is always on the surface. It's just that the available options do not always satisfy us and motivate us enough to immediately start implementing them. Sometimes we need to step over our “I”, somewhere we need to lower the bar, and sometimes we need to admit we were wrong. And getting out of the impasse seems like a daunting task. But everything will not be so terrible if you look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that this is not your problem and look at it like an outsider. Talk to yourself as if your friend is asking you for help. Without emotions and experiences, it is always easier to find a rational solution.

If you are not left with the feeling that the steering wheel has been pulled out of your hands or you are locked, and there is no way out of this situation, self-torment begins. You either withdraw into yourself and your problems, or think about how to get out of the impasse. Perhaps you yourself have driven there. What's the best option here? The answer is obvious - to find a way out of the impasse as quickly as possible.

Where to start looking for a way out of life's impasse?

Take a time out

When you don't know what to do now, don't do anything. Let go of thoughts and concerns. Stop delving into your memory, looking for the reasons for all failures and tormenting your brain. Just let yourself rest. Sometimes a minute pause is enough for the decision to come by itself.

Get rid of anxiety

Don't panic ever! Vanity clouds our consciousness and expends energy. Save energy for constructive thinking. Think about the situation soberly and from the side of an outsider. If the problem is solvable, then the right path will eventually be found, and you should not worry. If the situation is unsolvable, then all the more there is no point in wasting energy on soul-searching. Direct it to parallel life tasks.

Source of inspiration

Start letting as many bright thoughts and promising ideas into your life as possible. Motivating videos, biographies and recommendations of successful people, quotes from philosophers, life films. Use everything that gives you inspiration, aims at the fight, makes you look for non-standard solutions. The exit from the dead end is nearby. Sometimes you just need to look around to find it.

What to do with the impasse in life next?

So, let's look at the main steps towards solving the problem:

Step One - Believe that you can take the first step.

Only faith in one's own strength will help overcome fears. There will definitely be a way out of the impasse. You can sit and wait for everything to change on its own, but only if you are absolutely sure that you are still ready for change.

The second step is readiness for change.

The slogan of the pioneers "Be prepared. Always ready” is relevant in our time. You have caught a dead end in life, what to do - you do not know. Finally, it seems to you that you have made the right decision - to change jobs, break off burdensome relationships, or close an unpromising business. And you do it. But for some reason you don’t get joy from what is happening. The reason for this is your unpreparedness for such cardinal and, as it seems to you, rational changes. A new job will also not bring pleasure, you suddenly realize that the relationship was not so bad, and the business should not have been closed, but directed in a different direction.

Ask yourself the question, how to get out of the impasse most painlessly? Maybe before you change jobs you need to learn new skills, accumulate capital, find a nanny for a child. Prepare the platform. Then change the situation radically. After all, if you want to jump with a parachute, then first you need to acquire them. Then you will be ready for freedom at an altitude of 9000 meters above the ground.

Step three - buildup.

A dead end in life plunges us into a stagnant state. In order to "rock" yourself, you need to remember what it is like to be energetic, reckless, lofty and purposeful. Remember yourself in this state, try to experience these emotions. This will help bring you back to life. If you have dreamed all your life of repeating the experience of a week-long hike in the mountains, or going in for luge, or living in China, studying the culture and customs, decide to do it while at a dead end in life.

Step four (and most important) is the challenge.

Challenge yourself. This will allow you to get out of your comfort zone and re-evaluate what is happening. Such a shake-up stimulates brain activity, increases self-esteem, gives a boost of energy for the next steps. No, you don't have to become a World Swimming Champion if you dare to finally learn how to swim. But this skill can affect very different areas of your life. The most important decisions come to us at unexpected moments, and not at all when we torment ourselves day after day looking for them.

What challenge are you talking about?

• Sign up for dances, even if you consider yourself "wooden";
• Run a marathon;
• Give up the phone and the Internet for a week;
• Go on vacation to the mountains, not to the sea;
• Float down a mountain river;
• Set a goal for 21 days to get up at 6 am and go for a run;
• Learn 5 poems;
• Learn to play a musical instrument;
• Pass the casting in the cinema;
• Write a book;
• Go to the puppet theater;
• Sign up to volunteer;
• Meet three new people in one day, etc.

Think less, analyze less, just challenge yourself and take the risk of doing something you've always wanted to do.

Life's dead end is our visual representation. In fact, life is beautiful and full of new opportunities. Relax, tune in to a positive wave and get on with your life. All situations are given to us for rethinking, hardening and transition to a new level of self-development. Get ready for the changes that await you after this dead end in life. Challenging yourself won't necessarily change your life in a blink of an eye (although it's possible), but it will help you get off the ground, feel empowered, and find a way out of life's most difficult situation.