Is a hopeless situation a path to depression or a road to a new life? How to find a way out of a hopeless and deadlock situation.

A variety of, sometimes even unimaginable, situations can happen in a person’s life. And we cannot even imagine what awaits us tomorrow. In everyday troubles and worries, we rarely think about our security. Usually we begin to “cross ourselves” and “spread straw” when thunder is already thundering over our heads and we have to retreat not to prepared positions, but into unknown darkness. More often than not, it seems like you are falling into an abyss. In the song we all know, there are these words: “...love will unexpectedly come, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good.” And when trouble unexpectedly strikes, what then? Then the sun fades for us, the earth begins to disappear from under our feet, and it seems to us that no one and nothing can help us.

When a person is unhappy, he becomes vulnerable and troubles “stick” like a magnet. Usually in such cases we say that trouble does not come alone. A confused person begins to be tormented by two primordially Slavic questions: “What to do?” and “Who is to blame?” More precisely, on the contrary: “Who is to blame?” and only then - “What to do?” As always, most of us begin to analyze the situation by looking for someone to blame for our misfortunes, rather than by constructive thoughts and steps.

My first rule, which life taught me, is that there is no need to look for those to blame, you need to forgive everyone, you can blame anyone, but first of all you need to blame yourself. Strength will be needed to search and fight, for the necessary exit and recovery.

You can blame the whole world for your troubles, then huddle in a corner and wait for everything to resolve itself. Usually they do this, because they do not try to deal with the problems that have arisen, but only try to “forget” them, putting them on the farthest shelf in the subconscious in the hope that a wizard will fly in and a miracle will happen, and the problem will disappear on its own. But nothing good will happen in this case. Therefore, parents must create a relationship based on the child’s trust in them in order to be aware of problems and always come to the rescue in time and indicate a way out of this situation.

You must pull yourself together. Get your act together. Start analyzing the situation. Call everyone you can for help. Never think that your problems are indifferent to your loved ones. After all, they love you and will definitely help you with advice and concrete action. There must be a person nearby who will lend their shoulder to you. Alas, this does not always happen.

The Bible says: “Forgive and it will be given to you” - remember? You need to ask not only your family, friends and acquaintances. First of all, pray for help to the Lord and your highest patrons. If you don't have your own temple, try to find one. If possible, go around all the temples that are nearby and you will want to stay in some of them.

Maybe you will find your place in an icon close to your soul, in the only temple near your home. You will find this place, your soul will tell you, it will definitely respond to it. The main thing you need to do is go and ask. Sincerely ask for forgiveness, help and intercession from your patrons. It is better to read prayers (and if you are an atheist, then affirmations) than to delve into sad thoughts or become discouraged. In other words, try to control your thoughts. If you are unable to think about something productive, read prayers and your consciousness will gradually begin to clear up, and the necessary decisions, ideas, assumptions and hopes will appear in your head.

You need to learn to relax emotionally and physically. Try meditation. You can relax in your favorite ways. You can concentrate your attention

Firstly, on how you breathe;

Secondly, how your body relaxes. First, tense all your muscles, and then relax. Do this gradually, starting with the soles of your feet and ending with the neck and facial muscles;

Thirdly, on some image or sound. Perhaps it will be the image of falling snow, which decorates the earth, or the sound of the surf. Robin Sharma's book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" describes the "admiring the rose" technique.

If you wish and with the capabilities of the Internet, you can choose many such techniques - choose which one suits you best. Yoga can help well, no matter where you practice at home or in a specially created club. Choose the exercises you like and perform them to the accompaniment of pleasant music. For relaxation, there are also special recordings with the sounds of nature: the sound of rain, the sound of the sea surf.

Water. Yes, ordinary water, or rather water procedures. Try to take the baths you like, for example, there are relaxing, soothing, pine, sea ​​salt and aromatic oils, etc. Make a holiday for your soul and body, go to the sauna or Russian bath. Swim in the pool, feel like a goldfish, and through the strain on your muscles, your nerves and thoughts will come into order. A douche and a shower will help you relax, calm and strengthen you.

Walks. If you have someone to walk and talk with, that's good. And if there is no such interlocutor, it’s okay, you can take a walk alone. But choose a medium or fast pace of movement, it should depend on how trained you are, and come back with a little muscle fatigue. Choose a route so that you can walk by the river, in the park, or walk along quiet streets.

Has a good effect on our psychological state plant care: planting trees, transplanting seedlings, weeding and other chores. If you do not have the opportunity to work in the garden beds, then look through books, magazines, catalogs on gardening and floriculture, and admire the beauty of nature.

There is one more great way take your mind off difficult and unpleasant situations - watch your favorite movies, read books that give you pleasure.

If you have accumulated a lot of problems and your health has deteriorated, but you have no time to deal with them, start right now. You need to start with a course of preventive treatment for your illness, even if there is no exacerbation. After all, it manifests itself in stressful situation when the disease is chronic, and then there is no point in postponing treatment.

Shopping is a great way to overcome the stress of difficult life circumstances; it is well suited for both women and men. We advise you to go shopping, find what you dreamed of (a unique set of knitting needles or a spinning rod for fishing) or spontaneously treat yourself to some incredible gift.

When you like something, buy it right now and be happy. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s gold earrings, a diamond ring, a stylish suit, tie, car or... a toy. Please yourself, but if the desire does not arise, then please your loved one, child or anyone around you.

You need to fulfill your intangible dream. If you have long dreamed of jumping with a parachute, walking barefoot in the snow, planting a garden, riding a yacht, standing on your head, giving away boring things, learning to play the piano, getting a turtle or a puppy, going to Venice or the countryside? Take action now.

The main thing is not to focus your attention on the problem, do not give yourself entirely to it, but realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order. Analyze everything and take a reasonable step to resolve the situation or realize the need for your existence in other circumstances.

Through prayer, nature walks, meditation, pool activities, flower gardening, and watching your favorite movies, your mind will little by little lead you on the right path. All unpleasant circumstances will turn the other way towards you and then joyful and necessary events will begin for you. Your life will begin to change in better side, there will be a great opportunity and chance for success.

Thanks to the Lord's guidance, with the help of loved ones and your calm and positive mood, a door will open to you that you had never even imagined existed.

This door will help you not only get out of a difficult situation, but will also become the entrance to your new, exciting, beautiful and happy life.

An example of how to get out of a hopeless situation! A way out of a hopeless situation, where is it? Is there a way out of a hopeless situation? Many people, including you, once found themselves in what you thought was a hopeless situation, but then found a solution and everything was resolved. The most important thing is not to give in to panic, it is inside us and does not allow us to concentrate and relax in order to soberly assess the situation. The reason for writing this article was a call this morning from a woman who is a subscriber and reader of the legal blog - “RAA Law”. She told me about her difficult situation and we agreed that she would send me copies of some documents.

The reason for the call was my phrase, which I used on the page with information about the blog. This phrase shook the person into action and gave hope for a way out of her hopeless situation.

What is law?

A law is a situation described from the point of view of the law itself. If you change this situation in one direction or another, then the law will turn in one direction or another. Remember: - in a hopeless situation, there is a way out to another situation, and whether it will be favorable for you depends on how you prepare for it.

I thought for a long time about writing an article, like a cheat sheet or instructions for getting out of hopeless situations. But then I decided that I would just tell you my story (there are many stories, but I will tell only one).

Several years ago, my wife and I collected the necessary documents and submitted them to participate in the young family program. Then this program was just beginning or had already been launched a year ago, but that’s not the point. Literally a year or a year and a half later, I was passing by this office where we submitted documents. I decided to stop by and ask what my line was, because everyone was promised a certificate for a certain amount of money, depending on the number of people. In my case it was about four hundred thousand. Imagine this amount of money for free from the state. Of course, of course there is no freebie and there never has been. Every program, and especially the state program, has very harsh conditions and deadlines. In my case, everything was like that. I won’t mince words, but get to the point. I did not meet the specified deadlines and did not submit documents for the apartment that I was supposed to purchase. As a result, those who did not use the certificate for a young family within the established time frame lost it. Naturally, I’m panicking, as I think. What should I do now, but I don’t want to lose money at all.

So much for the hopeless situation I found myself in. If you want to know how I found a way out of their hopeless situation, then read on...

At first I racked my brains to solve this problem, then my head started to hurt. Since I have been involved in real estate for more than 6 years, and in this area there is one positive point: it is better to come to an agreement than to suffer. Taking advantage of this rule, so to speak, I went to this office again. I explained my situation that I simply missed the deadline and now I’m afraid of losing the certificate for a young family (and you want to know how you can cash the certificate). Together with one woman, we found a solution, or rather, she suggested it to me.

What way out of a hopeless situation did they tell me?

Arriving home, I took the certificate for a young family and put it under running water, wetting it a little, but the paper is thick and does not immediately get wet. Then I rubbed this place with my finger so that the text and quality disappeared in one place (the place can be any).

Then he wrote a statement that when he came home he discovered a leak from the ceiling. As a result, water fell on the table where the certificate for the young family was lying. Then I took the written application and certificate to the office. There they accepted everything from me and after some time they issued a new certificate with an extended period for another period. It’s like I just received a certificate for a young family.

After that, I used the certificate for the young family program.

So ladies and gentlemen, it seemed like a hopeless situation, but it turns out there is a way out and I got it where the entrance is approximately located.

What hopeless situations did you find yourself in, and how did you find a way out of the hopeless situation? I, like many others who come to this page, where there is a way out of a hopeless situation, will be very interested in reading.

From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem either difficult to resolve or completely unsolvable.

In such cases, despairing of finding a way out of the current situation, we especially urgently need an objective and sober look from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us along this only path, Ariadne’s thread, and tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

We very often entrust this important decision to our loved ones or friends. This has its advantages. First of all, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their “outside view” will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply don’t know who else we can turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a solution are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will be the best - if only because they do not know the full depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. Only you know this. But then what to do in such cases?!

There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know him. Do you know how to solve the most complex problem How can you find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation? There is a solution. And if it’s not easy for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that are not in their usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we it is necessary to take a paradoxical path: make it seem as if the problem has a solution, as in school textbooks on physics and algebra all the answers to the problems are given. All you have to do is find the corresponding pages where all these solutions are contained and select the current answer. And in order to find these pages with answers to all our questions, we will need the so-called wise man technique: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex everyday problems to a minimum.

The wise man technique is performed just once, and after that you will receive answers to any, even the most complex questions about your life. However, for this to really happen, the technique must be performed very carefully and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image accompanies you in the future, like a talisman. He will be like a genie that you can summon from the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him for it.

How a wise person is created? A person’s imagination is so strong that he can come up with almost anything he can imagine. If you want to take a moment to imagine what a pink Christmas tree would look like, you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, hum their tune to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see a picture and hear how it might sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes a certain sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we imagine pictures, hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.

In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You don't need anything supernatural or mind-blowing. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange color jeans and his hair will be dyed viscous Blue colour, then I wouldn’t be surprised at all. Because your wise person can be anything you want. He may have a beard or no beard, he may be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, on the contrary, very young. If only it satisfied one thing important rule: The appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of ​​wisdom and enlightenment.

It may take you some time to create a wise person. Do not regret it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend searching for this or that solution. It is best if no one disturbs you at this time, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise person. If you have found such an opportunity, you can begin to perform the technique.

Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Prepare all this and then try to relax. You don’t need to do anything, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember something from your past experiences, and this will be easy, since you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember several cases in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke up? vicious circle When was the situation resolved successfully? Also tell yourself your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with so that everything fell into place? As soon as you remember it and say it, mentally put a tick or cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on their palm to remember - and follow further to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: “I did this and that, and my problem was successfully resolved.” Or: “I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place.”

Step two. Exist different types wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Some people are convinced by a beard, others by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of some details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is like - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Perhaps he even reminds you of someone? What would his voice sound like? Fantasize boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a piece of paper, recording its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you know how to draw at least a little. You should also determine a meeting place with your wise man. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, just think about what it would look like if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise man will look like.

At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise man. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about him so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not mince words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

Step three. Once you can imagine your wise man whenever you need it (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), come back to your list of those cases and situations in which you found good decision and got out safely, and add one more such situation to this list. This will be easy, since we find a lot of similar solutions in our lives. Repeat everything exactly the same way: remember what good decision you come up with how you felt immediately after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or lie down. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present time. Focus on it for a moment, that will be enough. After this, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears in front of you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

As soon as you ask your question to a wise man, you will receive an answer instantly. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you have received. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. Did you get some important information, which contains the answer to your question. All you have to do is understand what the wise man wanted to say by giving you this information.

In the future, when you meet again with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this you just need to ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then when you ask your questions, you will just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet, you don’t hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Don't forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.

There are no restrictions for meeting a wise person. You can contact him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream you had. In a dream you can receive very important information that will help you accept correct solution. Good luck to you! And thanks to your wise man, whom you will meet in the very near future. Thanks to him for listening to all this carefully.

Vit Tsenev

• < Техника «Разговор с ребенком»
• Four techniques - How to get rid of negative thoughts >

We give out advice left and right that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and even more than one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overwhelmed by troubles that are approaching from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.

What to do in difficult times life situation, where do you see one dead end? There are effective tips on what to do in this case.

1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. There is no need to quickly rush headlong into the pool and take incomprehensible actions that could lead to further big problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take time to reflect on why it turned out the way it did and not something completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.

2. Effective advice on how to get out of a dead end is to get rid of the emotions overwhelming you at that moment. Fear, anger, and disappointment prevent you from concentrating normally in the face of a problem. Often our negative emotions, which are acquiring enormous proportions, we are making mountains out of molehills, and we see absolutely no way out, just a dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not hold destructive energy within yourself.

3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then bright thoughts will begin to come into your head and everything will become clearer from a different angle. Make yourself tea with lemon and ginger, or brew hot coffee, energetic drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of a deadlock situation, even the most absurd ones; in such cases, all means are good.

4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned away in difficult times. There is a proverb: “One head is good, but two are better.” Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes you know better from the outside.

5. The next step will be a full analysis of the proposed ideas. Weigh up all the pros and cons. Make three thorough exit plans crisis situation. Plan A and B are the most effective, and plan C is a backup. Clearly thought-out scenarios with several options give a much higher percentage of success than just one.

6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put your anti-crisis plan into action. By going step by step, without stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and the understanding of what to do will come by itself.

7. In difficult times, people who care about you and to whom you are very dear will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.

8. In our lives, we rely a lot on circumstances, while understanding that they do not promise anything good. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and don’t let circumstances get the better of you.

9. One more in an effective way The way to get out of a deadlock situation is to exclude people with . In every person’s environment, there will definitely be a person who will exaggerate and lower your faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive points, they have nothing but negativity all around. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise you will panic and give up.

10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you while you get out of the current situation. Strive to communicate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.

11. In difficult moments, you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, every person has them. It would be stupid to sit idly by. Every mistake you make will be a lesson from which you will gain useful and necessary information.

12. Don't listen to those who say they know how best to live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you about your past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, losers just like them. This is your life and only you can decide whether you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!

No matter who you are and no matter what you achieve, trouble can always happen, and you will feel like life will never get better. However, remember that it's your attitude that matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist adept and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads a study on adult development, followed 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in a community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to cope strong emotions which often accompany life's difficulties. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be out of fear - they will be informed.

1. Stop Negative Self-Talk

First of all, you need to discard limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative internal dialogue by asking yourself:

• What facts for and against are available to me?
• Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
• Perhaps I'm jumping to negative conclusions?
• How do I know if my thoughts are true?
• Is it possible to look at this situation differently?
• Is the situation really as dire as I think it is?
• Does this mindset help me achieve my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation to look at the problem from a different perspective.

2. Don't lose perspective

Your problem today in the context of your whole life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic view of your life in mind and ask yourself:

• What can happen in worst case? Is this likely?
• What about the best?
• What is most likely to happen?
• What will this mean in five years?
• Perhaps I am making too much of this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“Between stimulus and response there is a gap, in this gap we have the freedom to choose our reaction. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your partner in this situation? to the best friend? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

• Think about what kind of person you would like to become
• Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
• See the results of your actions
• Imagine the best answer
• Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the other party's reactions.

Harvard scientists have shown that using empathy in disagreements has important to resolve the conflict and is a decisive prerequisite for the successful outcome of negotiations.

5. Assess the situation from the perspective of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can step outside the situation, set aside your emotions and observe your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when you are in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your personality from the situation.

6. Look outside for help.

In any situation when own experience lacking, seek wise advice. Suppress your ego and ask for a critical eye and constructive feedback, and, having completed the task, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not a single whole. The problem is just one aspect of your journey, and it is also a source of growth. Don't run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this too shall pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova