If you can't make the right decision. How to make the right decision when in doubt
Throughout their conscious life, each person makes many decisions. Every day he faces a choice of how to act correctly in any situation, what to buy in a store, where to go to study or work, what to wear to a responsible or not so important event, how to distribute his finances. Decision making is often accompanied by stress, which is known to negatively affect our psyche. How to make a decision to minimize negative consequences?
"Debriefing" on the simplest example
The longer we hesitate, not knowing how to make the right decision, the more negative emotions we experience, the faster we lose the ability to correctly and quickly choose the right option.
It's good, of course, to think about the past and analyze your actions already committed. But when we occupy our thoughts, say, for a week with only one issue that is related to making a decision, this is no longer good, but harmful. The more we think, the more solutions pop up in our heads. If each of these options is not bad, we cease to perceive the task adequately, because we are in a suspended state that does not allow us to look at things soberly. There is no right decision here.
Psychologists have developed a set of rules that will make it easier to make a decision, regardless of the nature of the issue. Whether you are thinking about what to wear to a party or deciding whether to continue dating a man or better break up with him - in any case, take into account these rules.
to the title to the titleDo not rely only on yourself
When making a difficult decision, discuss it with loved ones. There is a good chance that you will get good advice from them. This is first. Secondly, a problem that has been voiced several times ceases to be a problem, but takes on a clear outline of a situation from which there are at least two ways out. But we want to warn you: do not cross the line and do not ask for advice from everyone around you. Trust only those closest to you. After all, everyone can advise, but there will be no sense from this - an abundance of advice, especially from strangers who are unfamiliar with your situation, will simply confuse you.
Do not decide from a moment of emotional stress
Postpone making any decision until the time when you are no longer overwhelmed with emotions and feelings. They do not affect the correctness of the decision in the best way. If you take it at a moment of emotional stress, the consequences may not be desirable. Wait until everything boils inside you, take a sober look at the situation and try to make the right decision.
back to contentsthink about it tomorrow
Remember how the unforgettable Scarlett O'Hara from the novel "Gone with the Wind" said? Right: "I'll think about it tomorrow." And it is not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening. Psychologists are sure: our subconscious mind knows the answers to all questions. During the day, the brain is overloaded with information, it cannot decipher the signals sent by the subconscious. Therefore, do not make an important decision during the day or in the evening. It is better to ask yourself a question that worries you before going to bed, it is quite possible that in the morning you will already know what to do. In such a case, it is recommended to put a sheet of paper and a pen or a voice recorder on the bedside table near the bed. The solution to the problem may come to you even when you are half asleep, and it will need to be fixed so as not to forget.
No matter how much sensible advice you are given, remember that you must make the decision yourself. After all, this is your life, you should not trust even very close people to manage it. After all, each person, regarding the situation, proceeds from his own considerations. What suits this person may not suit you. Consider opinions from the outside, but without fanaticism.
back to contentsListen to your heart and trust your intuition
Remember the anecdote when an inner voice said to an avid gambler who staked his entire fortune: “God, how wrong I was!”. The inner voice is often wrong, so you need to trust either your body or your intuition (everyone is different). One man, signing an important contract, felt an unpleasant tingling in his chest. The contract, as it turned out later, was unprofitable. Another felt a headache, the third - a slight dizziness. All these are the signals that the body sends us, and this is his request to delay the decision. In this case, we call intuition not an inner voice that can make mistakes, but clues from the outside world - peculiar signs. Phrases dropped by someone in our presence, posters, objects, signs, and so on. Often the world around us helps to ensure that our thoughts are concentrated in the right direction. The main thing is to notice the signs sent by fate.
Do not repeat steps
Many people, when making decisions, are guided by analogies: this, they say, has already happened before, it was necessary to do this and that, and that’s what we’ll do now. Of course, experience is good, and it also needs to be connected when making an important decision. But do not forget that life is not a swamp, but a river, which, as you know, cannot be entered twice. Try to find a new way to solve the problem.
back to contentsConsider and plan for the future
There are decisions that affect our future. And there are those who can radically change our life path. These are very important decisions, making which you need to consider all possible options. So, a change of residence may make you lonely, and leaving work will deprive you of career opportunities.
back to contentsPositive thoughts help
Popular psychology books related to positive thinking are of great interest to readers. If you have heard about the methods of N. Pravdina, A. Sviyash, V. Levy, N. Kozlov, then you know that any of our desires materialize and come true. Dreams turn into reality. Therefore, when making a decision, it is better to present a positive picture of fulfilled desires. This helps not only to make the right decision, but also not to go astray. Is it hard to end a relationship with a married man? Do not think about loneliness, but imagine yourself free and dream of meeting with great love. Can't eat after six? Imagine how your figure becomes perfect. Are you afraid to leave a low-paid and unloved job? Save money as a financial cushion and look for a new activity. Imagine how happy you will be in doing what you love.
We want to tell you about an amazing and very simple technique of 7 questions that will allow you to assess the situation from different points of view, get rid of doubts and take the ability to make the right choice to a new level.
WARNING: You may not always like the answers, but in the end they will help you make the right decision.
1. What would I choose (a) if not for fear?
Unfortunately, too many decisions in our lives are made for us by our own fears and stereotypes. Of course, successful businessmen are careful about all the risks they take in their choice, but they are also conscious about their fears in doing so. If you feel obstacles - write down (literally!) all your fears and doubts and carefully work them out with someone who will help you be objective. Sometimes the choice that causes us the most fear is the best one.
2. What would I choose (a) if not money?
What do you think: many brilliant ideas have not been implemented due to lack of money? Or is there no money due to the fact that these ideas were not implemented? Will you refuse to develop and move forward if it seems to you that you do not have enough funds for this? No matter how fantastic it may sound, but if you made the right choice, there will always be money. Remember crowdfunding (from the English. rowd funding, сrowd- "crowd", funding- "financing"). You can also ask for help from relatives, friends, acquaintances, or just let your surroundings know that you are looking for an investor. And let the money, or rather the lack of it, do not stop you.
3. What is the worst and best thing that can happen?
As a continuation of the previous two questions, draw yourself a mental map on paper of all the possible consequences of all possible decisions. List the positive, negative, tangible, and minor results that your choice will entail. In most cases, the best way out will thus become apparent on its own.
4. What has my previous experience taught me?
Any life experience - whether it be positive or negative - gives us valuable lessons. Defeats in our lives happen only when, when we have not learned any lesson for ourselves. The rise is just as valuable a lesson as the fall. Think back to your previous ups and downs and consider: Does previous experience tell you what to do in this situation?
5. Does it match my vision?
Ask yourself the question: do you really need it, or are you agreeing out of necessity, although you are turning in the wrong direction at all? After all, one of the main factors for success is consistency, so always keep in mind whether this decision is in line with your vision, and whether it knocks you off your course?
6. What do my soul and body tell me?
Think back to the last choice you regret - didn't your inner voice or body give you signals that you shouldn't do this? If you feel physically uncomfortable when making a decision, or your inner voice quietly dissuades you, listen to these signals. They may not coincide with what you are leaning towards at the moment, but the subconscious mind is much more aware of how this choice will affect you in the future.
7. How will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow?
Finally, about the future. How will you feel the day after you make a decision? If you feel proud, energized and inspired, you are on the right track. If you notice shame or regret behind you, don't ignore those feelings. If you are already experiencing them, prepare for the worst.
For the full picture, consider what you will experience as a result of your choice in a week/month/year. You can also take 5 or 10 years for big decisions that have a significant impact on your entire life.
Conclusions: How to make the right choice?
Save this image to your desktop. Post it on your Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / LinkedIn / Vkontakte. Print it out and hang it above your desktop. And every time you are in doubt when making a choice, answer each of these 7 questions for yourself. Believe me - it works.
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, to agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing the decision.
So how make the right decision and learn how to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision that you like.
According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 leaders of large companies turn out to be erroneous. 40% of the companies that were included in the list of the world's 500 best companies 20 years ago no longer exist.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision and start acting.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, and any number of attempts. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your solution.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? Write down possible outcomes and make a decision based on that. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
And therefore...
3 - Determine the best result - What decision will move you the most forward? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always go back to another solution. So hold on. Success loves the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what needs to be done.
All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious mind and go to sleep. Learn more about this technique in this video.
5 - Do something- to make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. The information you need will be given only by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
When in doubt or choosing from multiple options, just do something about each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask a more successful person - Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and knows more than you. Look for successful people in your environment. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is you don't have to ask everyone. Listen only to those who really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience of overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Imagine being a super hero- Put yourself in the place of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what decision he would choose.
Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more solutions. Collect information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.
9 - Let your brain sort things out - modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.
There is a good expression morning is wiser than evening. So just switch off from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more profitable for you.
That's all.
But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
And to make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions
5 6 031 0
There is only one person who is able to lead fate - you yourself. It is foolish to sit in anticipation of the impossible, one must achieve success, act, be decisive, show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what to do? The answer is simple:
- do not despair;
- never give up;
- set goals for yourself;
- fight for your happiness no matter what.
Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal, he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive the realities as they are. Until there is determination, there is nowhere to take results.
You can get rid of any obstacle and it is necessary to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.
For every trouble in life, you should look for an individual approach, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.
Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on, and it's much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and suffer constantly, and then get angry at yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties make it possible to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, adapt to changes.
So how do you make the right decision and not regret anything? This is what will be discussed in the article.
The main thing is motivation
Change not for others, do not prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why it is needed, what are the ways to implement the plan, then even a difficult decision will be easier.
The most stubborn and responsible one who really wants to achieve results understands that he simply has no right to give up.
In fact, motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.
It is important to analyze your own thoughts, if in doubt - think carefully, take your time.
Let's set an example
If a girl is overweight and dreams of a perfect figure, then it is reasonable to take an example from athletes. You can seek advice from a nutritionist, and not starve yourself in a panic, ruin your health.
Motivation is great, but it needs to be real, helping you make difficult decisions, not creating more trouble.
trust your intuition
As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry, you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do as you originally intended.
Usually the subconscious tells us the correct option. What comes to mind first, often works with a bang.
The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.
- Never bring yourself to nervous exhaustion.
- Don't suffer.
- Learn not to delay solving a problem.
- Act harmoniously, perceive what is happening without panic.
Before trusting your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, is there enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?
Use Descartes' Square
There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.
For example, we think about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate thoughts visit our heads.
- It is correct not to dwell on one of the parties, but to analyze the act with its possible consequences.
It is best to work with the square in writing. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without a doubt.
- What does a Descartes square look like:
For all four questions, it is worth giving extensive statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up or continue the relationship with the person. We need to find arguments in order to convince ourselves, to understand how strong values, goals, desires, priorities are.
There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.
From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It is easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.
If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cold mind.
Decide on your priorities
When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinion of the masses, inheritance, collective intelligence.
- You cannot be negligent, lack of independence, manage your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase what is in trend.
- Don't let people impose anything on you. Everyone is different by nature, each has its own purpose.
Based on the character, morality, values, hobbies, field of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.
The morning is wiser than the evening
For some reason, the brightest thoughts visit at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.
Emotions aside
Always make the final decision yourself. Do not try to push the responsibility away, to protect yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Do not rely on luck or happy coincidence. Take responsibility for everything that happens in life.
Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of being "as long as no one touches."
Emotions are life, but you always have to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do such things that you will have to regret for a long time.
Why has it become so much more difficult to make decisions in recent years? Today in this article we will talk about how to make the right decision when in doubt.
First of all, this is due to nervous tension and excessive workload due to the accelerated pace of modern life. Making difficult decisions requires willpower, good self-control and a rational approach.
How to make the right decision when in doubt?
1. When making decisions, you should consider the situation from several sides. There are four questions that need to be answered before embarking on a particular task:
What happens if the proposed event occurs?
What won't happen if it happens?
- What happens if it doesn't happen?
What won't happen if it doesn't happen?
This technique is known as Descartes Square. The value of this method lies in the ability to consider the problem from four sides. Usually, when making decisions, most people pay attention only to the first aspect: “What will happen if this happens?”
2. When solving serious problems, you need to think through all the options for your own actions in any outcome of events. In case of failure, it will be easier to cope with failure if alternative solutions are available.
3. You need to be able to separate important problems from trifles. Often emotional people tend to exaggerate the significance of what is happening. Excessive experiences can interfere with rational evaluation.
There are many ways to deal with this task. One of them is the visualization method. You need to mentally move into the future 10 years and imagine how important this issue will be at that moment. This method will help to take a more sober look at the situation.
4. After determining the direction, you need to learn to let go of the situation and live calmly on, without being tormented by regrets about a possible mistake or doubts about the correctness of the choice.
Sometimes the very fact of choosing a path is much more important than how correct this path will turn out to be. Postponing can bring more losses than mistakes. After all, mistakes made bring experience and knowledge.
Many people spend years in a dead end job or a meaningless personal relationship just because they lack the determination to change something and move in a different direction.
In fact, the question is not how to make the right decision when in doubt, but it is much more difficult to take responsibility for its consequences!
Decisiveness is a very important quality, without which it is difficult to achieve success in any area of life. If desired, this quality can be developed in oneself, starting small and moving on to global problems.