How to achieve harmony of the soul? Inner harmony: techniques for finding harmony, restoring calm, advice from psychologists.

Who among us doesn’t want to wake up free, happy and natural, with love in our eyes for ourselves and the world around us? Enjoy yourself and all the joys of a multifaceted life that captivates you into the unknown? Yes, precisely to enjoy the fact that you are the one and only, divine creature worthy of the best.

Change yourself, love yourself - and the world around you will change. We have heard these words more than once. But is it so easy to love yourself? And why, when we hear derogatory remarks addressed to us, do we agree with them, taking everything personally?

Such voices of “other people’s grandmothers,” like echoes of past childhood, for a long time, and sometimes throughout our lives, deprive us of the joy of being ourselves. A kind of defensive system is triggered, protecting the sensory world, but depriving the joy of the feeling of one’s “I”. Self-love is sometimes associated with other people's love for us.

Dependence on other people's opinions and assessments is, perhaps, main reason our dislike. How can we get rid of the opinion about ourselves imposed on us from the outside and love our own “I”? I want to offer you some advice, in my opinion the only correct one, as a way out of a difficult life problem- “self-dislike” so that you finally remember the exciting dance of life.

1. “I am loved and valued as much as I love and value myself.”

This phrase should become the only correct motto of life on the path of self-love. You yourself can become a source of joy and love.

2. Nobody is perfect

Remember the words from the movie Some Like It Hot: “Everyone has their own shortcomings.” Love yourself for who you are. Never allow yourself to be humiliated.

3. Don't compare yourself to others

You are special and unique. Loving yourself means treating yourself with love.

4. Accept your flaws

Weaknesses in some situation can shine brighter than strengths.

5. Improve yourself

You always have a chance to improve. Loving yourself means constantly working on yourself.

6. Don't worry about what others think of you.

They themselves are concerned about what you think about them. Form your positive opinion about yourself.

7. Praise yourself even for the smallest successes

Repeat to yourself: “I’m just lovely!”

8. Act on your inner motivations

Then there will be no feeling that you did something against your will. Respect your thoughts, desires and dreams.

9. Try to make your own decisions

This way you can appreciate your own importance and independence.

10. Be yourself

Say and do what you think is necessary. At the same time, of course, without infringing on the interests of others.

And then your eyes will sparkle, and a smile of happiness and love will shine on your face, and you will be transformed right before your eyes... You yourself will become a source of love, joy, light and strength. You will live in harmony with yourself. You'll see, you'll succeed! You will become the most beautiful in the world. You just need to be at peace with yourself. Both with yourself and with the world around you.

Improve yourself and look for yourself! After all, only by understanding ourselves can we accept ourselves. Loving yourself and enjoying the joy of life is as natural for a person as the flight of a bird in the sky. This world is for you, this life is for you, and therefore love is for you!

Returning from a protracted summer holiday, I would like to once again warmly greet the readers of this blog with great pleasure, Artem Bukanov is with you.

For today’s topic, I decided to choose a reflection on the question of how to find harmony with oneself.

Most people need this incredibly badly to .

Before you begin to find this very harmony, perhaps you first need to decide what harmony is and what it consists of.

Everyone understands that it is possible to find harmony with oneself only in the soul, and that no “magic pills” will help with this.

So, let's decide how we can find inner harmony. And here everything is incredibly simple

1. Live the way you like
2. Do what brings you pleasure
3. Have the opportunity to be yourself - the real one, and not who society wants you to be

For those who doubt the correctness of this statement, I would like to immediately draw attention to such a useful thing as the protective reaction of our body.

With different stimuli, the result is different, but nevertheless one general direction can be traced in it. When you get sick, your body fights the virus: elevated temperature, runny nose is typical signs diseases.

With our psychology, everything is similar: unreasonable aggression towards the environment, apathy, depression and - obvious signs that you are minding your own business.

You are not lazy to do what you like, right? Because first of all.

How to find “your groove”?

After we have decided on the reason that prevents us from living full life, little by little the realization of the need to look for “our own” comes. How can you find it if until recently you had no idea that you had lost something? Let's go in order:

• Eliminate all the noise in your head

We are looking for ourselves, right? Therefore, we immediately dismiss all this chatter from others about stability, fashion, “everyone lives like this,” “this is how it’s accepted,” “what will others think” and “Oh, God, are you even normal?!”

Only “your” way of life will truly bring you pleasure, and not imposed patterns of behavior.

• Finding your Self

Absolutely every person has his own calling - something in which he will feel like a fish in water. You usually do this well and enjoy doing it.

If you can’t immediately determine “your” occupation, then remember what you liked to do as a child - it is at this time in life that we are not yet burdened with obligations and choose activities to our liking. Drawing, music, sports, science - it could be anything.

• Take action!

You shouldn’t sit and wait for the weather by the sea, do what brings you pleasure, and not what you do out of necessity. Even if you have lost all your skills (or maybe you didn’t have them at all), just start anyway, and then you will see for yourself how things will improve.

Thinking is more important than impulsiveness

This statement, of course, does not apply to everyone, but its importance is worth thinking about for everyone. As our ancestors said, and they knew a lot about things: “Think first, then do!”

Therefore, you should not rashly quit work, study, etc., starting new life. No! Just gradually direct your energy towards improving your life circumstances by introducing into it what you are truly interested in.

In addition to the “activity you enjoy,” it is also important not to change your views and principles, because moral prostitution, forgive me, is not the best ally for self-sufficiency.

A is no less important quality for achieving harmony than others.

So, we have learned how to find harmony with ourselves, and what we need to pay attention to in this case.

Be sure to share your opinions in the comments, tell your friends and stay with us, see you soon!

Always with you, Artem and Sasha

Today people are exposed to overload and stress like never before. Nervous tension is familiar to almost every modern person, but not everyone knows that there is a very simple way to take control of your thoughts, achieve inner harmony, become calmer and happier.

The professor talks in detail about this method - conscious meditation. clinical psychology Mark Williams and biochemistry doctor Danny Penman in the book “Mindfulness” (Mann, Ivanov and Ferber Publishing House). We publish several ideas from it.

In search of lost time

Weekdays modern man too overloaded. We are constantly in a hurry, we manage to do a lot of things during the day, but in the end we don’t even notice how time passes. The older we get, the faster the weeks and months fly by. But you can miss your whole life this way!

With age, we accumulate habits, learn some patterns of behavior and do not change them for years: on autopilot we wash ourselves, have breakfast, go to work, sit in the same place, return home, watch TV. It is difficult for us to simply look around and experience the present moment.

If you want to slow down the passage of time, learn to be present “here and now” and enjoy every moment.

To get started, try a simple exercise. Buy a chocolate bar and break it off small piece. Place it on your palm and examine it carefully, pay attention to the color, curves, texture. Inhale the aroma. Now put this piece in your mouth. Don't eat it right away, let it melt on your tongue for a long time. Try to feel the whole bouquet of tastes, and then slowly swallow the chocolate.

If you just ate a bar on the go, it would be a completely different experience, wouldn't it? Exactly the same awareness can be demonstrated in any action: when you brush your teeth, go to the office, go to the store. Don't forget to change your habits from time to time. Do you watch TV every evening? Try reading instead. Do you always choose the same chair at meetings? Sit in a different place next time. Do you always walk along familiar streets? Change your route, visit unfamiliar areas of the city.

Goodwill

Modern people are accustomed to comparing themselves with others, evaluating them and constantly engaging in competition, in which there are certainly worse and better, their own and others. However, this is a bad habit. The tendency to judge others and yourself in this way can lead to endless self-flagellation, fear of rejection, or a feeling of being surrounded by enemies.

You need to learn to look at others more kindly. To feel your connection with them, do a “friendly” meditation.

Sit on a chair in a comfortable and warm place. Straighten your shoulders. Feel tenderness and love for yourself. Mentally say the wishes: “May I be happy,” “May worries leave me,” “May my life be filled with joy.” Then imagine someone dear to you and wish him the same. Then think about the stranger. And finally, focus on someone with whom you had to conflict. Try to feel love and sympathy for him, wish this person goodness, happiness, and deliverance from troubles.

Analysis and suppression

Psychologists have noticed that in last years Depression is becoming more common among people. What is this connected with? We live in stressful conditions, and all of us are visited by anxious thoughts about the future or unpleasant memories. This can be triggered by a feeling of guilt, an irreparable mistake in the past, an unresolved conflict, fear of not meeting other people's expectations, and various social fears.

We want to get rid of obsessive thoughts, so we try to understand the reasons for our condition. However, endless analysis will definitely lead to a dead end. The longer we think about something sad, the worse we feel. The fact is that thoughts always influence emotions, and negative emotions, in turn, provoke even more bad thoughts. We need to get out of this vicious circle.

As a rule, avoiding unpleasant memories, we extremely generalize our experience. That is, we constantly experience a feeling of melancholy or guilt, but we do not realize what exactly it is connected with. This is what prevents us from truly letting go of the past. When we make a final assessment of an event and “forget” about it, we deprive ourselves of the chance to look at what happened from a different angle. Instead, we simply drown in painful emotions.

If repression and analysis are equally harmful, then how can we overcome anxiety and intrusive memories? The “sounds and thoughts” meditation is perfect for this purpose.

Find a quiet place where no one will distract you. Sit on a chair and straighten your back. Shoulders should be relaxed. Concentrate on your inhalations and exhalations, then on the sensations throughout your body. Try to experience peace. After this, turn your attention to the sounds that surround you. Listen to rustling noises, voices, music, traffic noise and the like. Don't think about the sounds or try to determine their sources. Just listen to how some sounds are replaced by others.

After a few minutes, focus on your thoughts. Treat them in the same way as sounds that arise and dissolve without your participation. Let them flow calmly and replace each other, watch this process as if from the outside. Imagine that you came to the cinema, and your memories, ideas, imaginary problems, and so on flashed on the screen. Under no circumstances should you be an actor, so remain in the audience until the end of the “session.”

If you learn to see the similarities between thoughts and background sounds, you will never again be a slave to your own brain. You'll realize that you don't have to listen to everything that's running through your head or try to suppress the memories. You will be able to calmly observe thoughts as if they were an interesting phenomenon that does not affect your feelings.

Body and emotions

Have you ever noticed what a depressed person looks like? He walks slowly, hardly using his arms. In this case, the torso practically does not move up and down, mainly movements from side to side predominate. Also, people suffering from a depressive disorder stoop and lean forward when walking.

It is easy to conclude that the mental state affects the body. Surprisingly, research has shown that this is a two-way process: the body also influences our thoughts and emotions.

Don't believe me? Try a little experiment. Lower your head, squeeze your shoulders, frown and spend a couple of minutes in this position. Do you feel like your mood has begun to change?

Psychologists Fritz Strack, Leonard Martin and Sabine Stepper decided to investigate this relationship. Scientists showed participants in one of the experiments cartoons, and at the end they asked them to rate how funny they were. The first part of the group had to hold a pencil between their lips while watching it so as to frown. The second one was watching cartoons with a pencil between her teeth, imitating a smile. As a result, those who "smiled" found the cartoons much funnier than those who frowned. It turns out that even a simple smile can be an effective cure for despondency.

Most people believe that if they have something they don’t currently have, they will become happier, more prosperous, calmer, more loved. They frantically try to achieve what they want - but in the process they do not experience any of the above. Many of us spend our entire lives chasing what we don't have and never becoming what we want to become.

Main secret successful person- this is the achievement of a state of internal harmony, satisfaction with oneself and the world around us, what we call “happiness”.

Secret No. 1. be happy

Happiness is not acquired, it is an inalienable human right from birth. People around you are unable to make you happy because The source of true happiness is not outside, but within ourselves. The paradox is that a person can achieve any state as soon as he understands that everything depends on his choice. If you want to become happy, become happy right now, be happy no matter what. Happiness is your choice, not a consequence or result of some action.

Secret No. 2. Evaluate yourself adequately

Adequate self-esteem absolutely necessary when we have to overcome life's difficulties. She gives us inner strength, to:

• Do not be afraid of the questions that confront us and find answers to them.
• Recognize the fact that not everyone likes us.
• Recognize the fact that we cannot understand all areas of life. And yet, if we want something strongly enough, we can achieve our goal, overcoming obstacles.
• Try to cope with conflict situations, do not try to hide from them.
• Admit to ourselves that we are not perfect and we cannot avoid mistakes.

Secret No. 3. Love yourself

Most The best way achieving agreement with yourself is the following affirmation: “I love myself and accept myself along with my emotions and sensations.” You can repeat these words out loud or in your mind.

Secret No. 4. Live in the moment

Remember that the most important point is happening in your life right now. Feel joy and happiness right now. Once you stop thinking about what you don't have, you will begin to experience the joy of the present moment. Stopped giving in negative emotions, you can be freed from the burden of the pain of the past. Most people suffer not because of a lack of love: they simply do not realize that all the negativity lies within themselves. We let ourselves down, we assign ourselves deadlines We make demands on ourselves and are always waiting for something.

Secret No. 5. “Emotional Balance” Method

Two main methods of achieving emotional balance are working with acupuncture points and affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements about how you would like your life to be. For example, “I respect, accept and love myself.” It is a method of focusing on what we really want. Stop using negative affirmations like, “My job is terrible!” or “I hate my own appearance!” Remember to say your affirmations in the present tense. For example: “I’m happy!”, “I feel good!” or “I have everything I need!” Give up phrases like: “I will achieve this” or “I need this,” because in this case your subconscious will decide that you need all this not in the present, but in the indefinite future.

Secret No. 6. Analyze your emotions

At the end of each day, analyze your emotional well-being. If you experience even the slightest stress, irritation or any other negative feeling, conduct a session using the Emotional Healing Formula method or write about this incident in your diary (don't forget to include the date). Be aware of thoughts in which you criticize, reject, or ridicule yourself. Learn to carefully observe yourself from the outside.

Emotional Healing Formula:

Every day, spend five minutes before bed and five minutes after waking up alone with yourself.

• Step 1. Remember the problem that made you feel uncomfortable. Focus on her. Try to imagine in your mind how much it affected you. Rate the intensity of your experience on a scale from “0” to “10”, where “0” is a neutral feeling that makes you feel normal, and “10” is the worst feeling imaginable.
• Step 2. Start massaging the acupuncture points on your body, remembering to say something kind and affectionate to yourself for two minutes.
• Step 3. Refocus on the problem. Understand how strong the negative feelings are now. Rate their intensity from “0” to “10”. Usually at this step pain threshold goes down.
• Step 4. Repeat step 2.

Repeat this cycle until the stress, emotion or problem is completely gone. Typically this takes 7-12 minutes.

In reasons bad mood, psychological fatigue, apathy, depression, the first thing I want to do is blame the environment: other people, the injustice of life and imperfection government structure. But deep down, everyone knows that the causes of adversity are within a person, in internal imbalance, in the lack of harmony between internal and external. It seems that those around you are deliberately getting on your nerves and testing your patience. If you follow the sensations and find the root cause of the negative reaction, then it will always be associated with the lack of inner harmony of a person.

The environment is like a mirror of internal problems

The Universe is a single system, parts of which are constant mode exchange energy with each other. The ongoing energy exchange is also accompanied by the exchange of information, thanks to which people at a subconscious level pick up signals about a person’s mood and the qualities of his character. This is the truest knowledge, because... It is the first impression, the feeling from meeting a person that is correct.

The fact is that the perception of the surrounding world is based on the “mirror” model. External energy impulses pass through internal filters of the subconscious and consciousness, thereby provoking one or another reaction. If the filters work crookedly, then you can’t expect a healthy reaction. The whole point of working with the “mirror” principle is to understand the cause of a negative reaction to external impulses.

Psychologists say that if certain person is an active irritant, constantly putting the observed into a nervous and aggressive state, this means that the observed sees in the object his own qualities, which he wants to get rid of or simply does not accept them in himself. Such an imbalance can only be resolved by a conscious attitude towards yourself, your emotions, and reactions to the people around you.

First of all, you need to learn to control your condition. Considering the fact that the energy exchange system is unified, you should do the opposite and practice the next exercise.

The point of the exercise is a conscious, intentional feeling of love for the people around you, and these are not necessarily relatives or friends, just random passers-by are chosen as objects.

The training process is as follows:

• find a quiet place where you can watch people passing by;
• take a comfortable body position;
• relax and let go of all negative feelings, clear your head of thoughts as much as possible;
• watch people passing by;
• mentally approach and hug a person passing by, sincerely, from the heart.

At the same time, consciousness opens to universal love for all living things, nature and one’s own kind.

Such love is considered an emotion that heals a person from the inside. Taking into account the law of the “mirror”, the energy sent out in this way will return positive, filled with love and care of the world, beneficial.

Wheel of Life

Loss of inner harmony and tranquility can occur due to disorientation in life, loss of beacons of movement, and the feeling that life is passing by. In this situation, the “Wheel of Life” exercise, which is a visualized model of human drivers, will be useful to recreate harmony. The wheel determines the most important areas of life on which you need to spend available resources in the form of time and energy.

The wheel is depicted in the shape of a circle, divided into segments. The number of segments is individual, depending on the goals and priorities of the person, the size of each part on the circle can also be different, although they are often depicted as equal to maintain the harmony and integrity of the system.

The standard areas on the wheel are: family, career, health, finances, personal growth, spirituality, recreation, relationships. The formation of such a model of life helps to structure desires, goals, dreams, correlating them with available resources. This is a way to look at your life from the outside, appreciating the strengths and weak sides personal management.

Visualizing the picture of life helps to find the causes of internal imbalance. After depicting all significant segments, it is necessary to evaluate the effectiveness of each on this moment time on a 10-point scale. Harmony inner world depends on the understanding that time and effort are spent on what is important for this specific person. To achieve harmony, all assessments must be maximum, only then the wheel can move along the road of life smoothly, steadily and without stress. If at least one element has low indicators, the movement will stop, and a new launch will require a colossal amount of effort directed pointwise to the sinking zone.

The wheel, once worked out, will serve as a constant control tool by which a person can always compare and adjust the course of his movement, consciously directing life in one direction or another. Understanding where, for what and with what set of tools a man is walking, it will be easier for him to find and maintain inner harmony.

In addition to global aspects (interaction with the world and understanding one’s own movement through life), many techniques have been developed to help people concerned about how to find inner harmony, getting rid of the noise of problems swarming in the mind and nervousness.

Breathing exercises

Concentrating consciousness on breathing, counting the length of inhalation and exhalation, increasing the duration of inhalation and exhalation, holding the breath and similar techniques help improve the oxygen supply to the body. In addition, the nervous system relaxes, toxins and waste are eliminated, and as a result, fatigue and nervous tension go away.

Meditation and relaxation

Many methods of meditation and relaxation have been developed; everyone chooses the most comfortable one for themselves. But they are all based on maximum relaxation of the body and mind, concentration on the “here and now” state.

Active recreation and sports

Active physical activity helps to reboot nervous system, get rid of unnecessary thoughts. They also contribute to better concentration on significant moments.

Positive emotions and laughter

To develop harmony, it is necessary to fill life with positive emotions. This increases self-confidence, opens up new horizons for a person that may not be visible to an anxious and negative look.

Creation

Activities related to creativity can help you get to know yourself. It is generally accepted that creativity always turns within the creator for ideas, translating inner experiences into something tangible.

Nature

The benefits of being in nature are generally recognized. To search for inner harmony, it is better not to combine such a stay with noisy companies, but listen to nature and yourself, try to feel the unity of all living things. Efficiency breathing exercises and meditation in nature increases significantly, sports activities on fresh air also have a more beneficial effect, so being in nature can be combined with other tools.