Wedding in a church - the rules of what is needed for the ceremony. Orthodox wedding is not for everyone

Nowadays, this wonderful ceremony – a wedding in a church – is becoming increasingly popular. They say that a stamp in a passport does not change anything in principle. This is not so - there is a legal responsibility of one person to another. But a wedding is a much more subtle matter. And let everyone who treats this ritual only as a tribute to fashion think about it: in Russia they do not officially debunk it! As a last resort, the decision to debunk can only be made by highest rank church clergy, but not the local priest. Therefore, a couple can divorce or go their separate ways, but before God the married ones remain husband and wife.

Let us note that local priests allow themselves to interpret the basic rules for performing rituals differently. However, here we will present the canons that are considered the most correct - everyone can determine for themselves the degree of violations to which they can commit.

The Church is very strict regarding the number of marriages. Therefore, if the newlyweds register their third marriage, they can still be admitted to the wedding ceremony. The church does not bless fourth and fifth marriages. In principle, the priest will not ask the newlyweds for a marriage certificate issued at the registry office - a wedding and a secular marriage are different rites. They have completely different meanings, and weddings in Russia have not yet acquired the mandatory character that a similar ceremony has in Europe. You can get married before entering into an official marriage, and after a long cohabitation in an official marriage. The main thing is that those getting married should treat full responsibility to the step being taken.

What day to get married, is it possible on Saturday?

Often a wedding is divided into two days: one day is a social ceremony, the second is a wedding. Their sequence is not predetermined by strict rules. But if we look at all the subtleties, then the church, through the ceremony, blesses the newlyweds for life together, including the fulfillment of marital duty. And if we take into account the fact that the church does not perform weddings on Saturday, and the ceremony can be held either on Friday or on Sunday, the conclusion suggests itself: what could be the ritual of handing over a girl to her husband after the first wedding night? Of course, it is better for the wedding to take place before the official festivities and everything that follows. Moreover, believers generally prefer not to remove the rings they wore at the wedding. Therefore, for the ceremony at the registry office it is better to prepare other rings (or one for the bride). You can completely bypass the process of exchanging rings at the registry office for the sake of preserving the grace imparted to these symbols of love and fidelity in the church.

Is it possible to get married without the presence of witnesses?

There are no clear rules regarding witnesses during weddings. However, there must be people who will hold the crowns over the heads of the young people, and this is a rather difficult task, since the crowns weigh quite a lot. It is quite acceptable to discuss this nuance with the priest of the local parish, since it is not of fundamental importance in this rite.
During Lent, solemn church ceremonies are usually not held, especially if the fast is strict. There are relaxations on certain days, but this is also discussed on a case-by-case basis. However, if the issue is not fundamental, then it is better to postpone the wedding for a time not related to fasting.

Is it permissible to have a wedding during Lent or during the veil?

On the contrary, great holidays do not prohibit the performance of rituals. church services. It is necessary to find out in advance whether it is possible to hold a wedding ceremony in a specific church holiday in a particular church - the refusal may be due to the priest’s individual employment - after all, everyone tries to time church ceremonies to coincide with some major holidays (for example, the Intercession), believing that on such days those getting married or undergoing the rite of baptism receive the greatest protection.

Is it possible to get married while on your period?

If the bride begins to have monthly discharge at the time of the planned wedding, the ceremony must be cancelled. The Church strictly prohibits a woman from crossing the threshold of the temple on critical days. You can come to the service, but be only in the vestibule - not a step further! Therefore, of course, neither getting married nor baptizing on such days is allowed. The church does not welcome the wedding ceremony while pregnant - it is better after childbirth.

There are unwritten rules that everyone getting married must follow. Thus, it is necessary to preserve the towel on which the newlyweds stood during the wedding - it symbolizes their joint life path. It is better to save candles left over from a wedding and use them only on the most special occasions - according to legend, they have great healing and blessing powers. It is better to hang icons received in the church either in the family icon corner or above the newlyweds’ bed. In the second case, according to the rules of the Christian religion, they must be equipped with a light curtain.

A wedding is an extraordinary ceremony. He brings grace and peace to the family. And don’t worry about some of the words that are constant in the wedding ceremony: “Let the wife fear her husband,” for example. Today, according to the clergy, this only means respect and veneration for the husband, which, in fact, is what modern wives lack.

In the old days, when faith occupied human society not least, all marriages took place in church, before God. This ceremony has not lost its relevance today. But if previously married lovers honored the sacrament and the oath of a long family life before the church and God and believed that a marriage concluded in this way was once and for all, now the values ​​have changed somewhat.

Modern couples celebrate the sacrament of wedding because of the beauty of the ceremony, completely disregarding its importance and seriousness. Such spouses get divorced, get married, and even think about repeating the church ritual with a new chosen one.

But is it possible to get married a second time? In what cases is this allowed and what needs to be done to obtain the consent of the church?

Sacrament of wedding

But before you find out whether it is possible to get married a second time in a church, it is worth telling what a wedding is and what is the meaning of this ritual.

A wedding is a marriage that takes place during a church service. The sacrament of marriage is a divine blessing for Christians getting married for a long and happy married life.

In Orthodoxy, this beautiful solemn ceremony is held after the official marriage in the registry office. The blessing process is carried out by a priest of the white clergy.

The newlyweds, already connected by marital union, enter the temple, each holding a lit candle. They approach the altar and stand on a white cloth spread on the floor. The priest, before proceeding with the blessing, asks the spouses about the seriousness of their intentions and, having received an affirmative answer, reads the priestly prayers, then, with a blessing, puts crowns on the heads of the bride and groom, and then pronounces the special prayer of the sacrament 3 times.

As for whether a person can get married a second time, the Orthodox Church does not put forward any prohibitions, but there are some restrictions. And the ceremony itself will no longer be so solemn.

Who is forbidden by the church to get married both the first and second time?

Despite the fact that remarriage, “made in heaven,” is not prohibited by the clergy, not everyone can be admitted to it.

Who will most likely be denied?

• A couple who cohabits together is, in other words, in a “civil marriage”. According to church canons, such a marriage contradicts all Christian beliefs.
• Monks, celibates, who are forbidden by their vows to marry. Priests who have not yet been ordained can acquire a wife.
• Spouses who both or one of them have had more than three marriages. The Church still accepts 3 marriages in a person’s life. The fourth is already regarded as a sinful act.
• The cheater, through whose fault the previous marital union broke up. Christianity will deny the sacrament to persons who initiated divorce or adulterers even after going through confession.
• A spouse with mental disorders and mental disabilities is also not allowed to perform the sacrament of marriage.
• Persons under 18 years of age (the lower age limit for a wedding is the onset of civil majority, when you can register a marriage at the registry office), as well as elderly people: women over 60 and men over 70 years old.
• The bride and groom whose marriage is not approved by their parents, as well as those getting married who are married against their will. Parents' opinions are highly valued Christian Church. But performing the sacrament against the wishes of the spouses is also unacceptable.
• A couple with close family ties up to the third generation. Incest is a sinful act.
• A couple in which one or both spouses are unbaptized.
• If one of the spouses has not filed divorce proceedings with the former chosen one and state level still connected by family ties.
• If those getting married have different religions. If the desire to legitimize your marriage is strong in the church, then one of the spouses of a different faith must convert to Orthodoxy. This condition is mandatory.

According to the rules of the Orthodox Church, deviation from these prohibitions is unacceptable.

Debunking

If you act according to all Christian prescriptions, then there can be no debunking, since marriage before God is concluded once and does not imply dissolution. And there is no such thing as “debunking”.

Debunking does not involve any formal procedure. This is simply a re-wedding after an official divorce and a new, state-registered marriage.

Getting married for the second time with a different spouse

If you do not deviate from church regulations, then a second “heavenly” marriage is impossible, since the divine blessing is given once, and its power is so strong that it is impossible to break it. And yet, religion takes into account human weaknesses, so the answer to the question of whether it is possible to get married a second time will be in the affirmative.

But still, the injured party can enter into a church union for the second time, in other words, a person who was betrayed in married life or was not the initiator of the divorce.

Is it possible to get married a second time with someone else? It’s possible, but it’s better to think it over first.

How is the second wedding different from the first?

There are differences between the first and second sacraments of marriage. The first is accompanied by a celebration, the laying of crowns on the heads of the newlyweds. The priest reads prayers for the blessing of the couple. The second wedding is much shorter than the first. It excludes any kind of celebration, candles, crowns. The prayer is read about the repentance of one of the spouses and the remission of his sins.

Widows and widowers: do they have the right to a church marriage?

Is it possible for a widow to get married a second time? What about the widower? Especially those who are connected by church ties to a spouse who is no longer alive?

Orthodoxy allows this possibility, since the marital relationship was interrupted by death. However, the Holy Apostle Paul said that it is better to accept your fate as a widow or widower and live in this position until the end of your days. All because a marriage blessed by God implies remaining faithful to one’s chosen one both during life and after death.

And yet, if the widowed spouse decided to re-tie himself in marriage and at the same time appear before God and ask for a blessing, then the church will not deprive him of this opportunity, but he will not have to count on a solemn ceremony. The procedure will take place according to the rules of a second marriage.

Is it possible for a widower to get married a second time? Like widows, this is not prohibited to them, but provided that the last marriage was not the third.

Permission to remarry: how to get it?

Before carrying out the wedding ceremony a second time with a new spouse, you first need to get divorced from your previous chosen one. And then get permission to hold the ceremony again.

To do this, you should go to the church to the priest and write a petition to the bishop for permission to have a second wedding. In this case, two certificates will need to be attached to the completed petition: about divorce and about entering into a new marriage.

After this, the spouse, who has already been in a marriage union, must undergo the procedure of repentance. In the process, he must repent for the mistakes made in his previous marriage, and in life in general. Repentance can take the form of confession.

Only after completing all the procedures can the sacrament of marriage be performed again.

Rules for the second wedding

Can a man get married a second time? What about a woman? After a divorce, life does not end; many acquire new lovers and want to marry their chosen one not only at the state level, but also at the “heavenly” level. The procedure will be possible if you comply with a number of church regulations:

1. Before the procedure, the spouse getting married again must undergo repentance or confession.
2. For several days, the bride and groom need to fast, which will cleanse their body and free their mind. It will allow you to soberly understand whether they need it or not.
3. 12 hours before the event, both spouses must abstain from food and water. If there is an intimate relationship in a couple, then it is better to abstain from it for several days before the sacrament.
4. On the wedding day itself, a few minutes before it, the bride and groom say several prayers: to the Lord Jesus Christ, Mother of God and Guardian Angel and Follow-up to Holy Communion.
5. For the wedding you need to prepare and give to the priest: wedding rings, two icons - Jesus Christ and the Mother of God, a towel and two candles for the ceremony.

On what days cannot the sacrament be performed, neither the first nor the second?

Like many church ceremonies, weddings exclude some days when they cannot be performed. We are talking about both the first and the second sacrament:

• the ceremony cannot be held during the fasting period;
• on days coinciding with Maslenitsa and Easter week;
• from January 7 to January 19;
• on the eve of church, twelfth and great holidays (this is due to the fact that the evening before the holiday cannot be spent with noisy festivities in honor of the wedding);
• on Saturdays, Tuesdays and Thursdays (before fast days) throughout the year;
• on the eve and on the days of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross and

But if there really is good reason, for which there is no possibility of postponing the wedding, then the bishop can make concessions and make an exception.

Second wedding and pregnancy: what to do in this case?

The second sacrament of marriage is allowed by the church even if the woman getting married is pregnant. After all, a child is a blessing from the Lord. He must be born and live in a family in which the parents’ marriage is approved from above.

Therefore, every wise clergyman will never refuse to marry a couple expecting the birth of a child, even though one of the spouses is undergoing the ceremony for the second time.

The opinion of the Orthodox Church on the second wedding

Is it possible to get married a second time with someone else? What do clergymen say about this?

The opinion of church workers is unanimous - the first wedding is more valuable than the second. After all, all sacraments performed within the walls of the church do not have a reverse effect. That is, divorce or debunking is not provided for in Christianity. Therefore, before God it has no special value under Orthodoxy. This is a kind of attempt by people to improve in new relationships.

Despite this opinion, the second sacrament of marriage is not prohibited.

Repeated celebrity weddings

The most sensational event of November 2017 was the wedding of Alla Pugacheva and Maxim Galkin, who had been officially married for 6 years. For the showman and parodist this was the first sacrament, while for the prima donna of the Soviet and Russian stage the wedding was the second.

Pugacheva entered into her first church marriage in 1994 with Philip Kirkorov. According to Alla Borisovna, it was her mistake, made out of stupidity and ignorance. She will repent for her for the rest of her life, since she met her real husband in Galkin. And she is immensely happy that she was allowed the second sacrament.

Surprisingly, Pugacheva’s re-wedding was accompanied by a magnificent celebration, with all the rituals and ceremonies. Many guests were invited, including famous people.

In addition, many Orthodox believers were a little confused by the fact that Pugacheva was 68 years old at the time of the wedding. And according to the rules of the church, women who have crossed the age line of 60 years are not allowed to “marriage in heaven.” But according to some information, at this age people are denied a third wedding.

As for Maxim Galkin, shortly before the solemn event he converted to Orthodoxy and was baptized in one of the Moscow churches. He converted specifically to marry his wife.

Thus, Alla Pugacheva is a clear “answer” to the question of whether it is possible to get married a second time after a divorce. The main thing is that there is love and respect between spouses.

In conclusion

This article examined in what cases you can get married a second time. As they say church ministers, such an action is possible subject to certain rules.

And yet the first wedding is the most valuable in the eyes of God. That is why it is carried out accompanied by a beautiful celebration as a sign of approval and blessing from the Almighty. And if lovers manage to live their whole lives together without resorting to divorce proceedings, then after death they will be rewarded.

According to clergy, there are few people applying for a second procedure for the sacrament of marriage. Having once been disappointed in their spouse and connecting their lives with a new chosen one, people do not want to anger God.

The union of two lives is a solemn and important moment. Today, many decide to register their marriage not only in the registry office, but also in the face of the Lord. What is needed for a wedding in a church, besides the desire of the newlyweds? Find out from our material.

Two unite in unity

Before you make your decision to get married, you need to understand:

• A church marriage cannot be dissolved! There is no “debunking” in principle. The fact that some bishops go towards people who have already divorced and live in other families is due to the weakness of modern “Christians”. This is done so that people do not fall into great sins. Therefore, you need to realize that a wedding is forever!

Basic requirements for those who wish to get married in a church:

• newlyweds must be baptized in the Orthodox Church (this can be done before the wedding);

• people must enter into a civil marriage (at the registry office) - many churches require a certificate (if people are not regular parishioners);

• Before the wedding it is necessary to confess and receive communion.

This is what concerns the spiritual side. Also, in parishes where they treat parishioners responsibly, the priest must conduct a preliminary conversation with the young people. He explains to them the whole meaning of this ritual, which is not only a tribute to tradition. You shouldn't get married just for the sake of beautiful photos or because “it’s customary.” This is a profanation of the Sacrament.

What is needed for the ceremony

Weddings in the Orthodox Church are carried out according to certain rules. Procedure and necessary prayers recorded in a special book - the Breviary, which the clergyman has. There is no need to worry about this, although it is necessary to understand what stage of the Sacrament is being performed.

Usually a donation is provided for such requests. Everything can be agreed upon directly in the temple. The “price” can vary greatly depending on the temple. Other costs will also be required.

• Icons of the Savior and the Mother of God are needed so that parents bless their children with them.

• Towel - according to the rules, in church young people stand on a white towel.

• Special candles - for the bride and groom, usually sold in the shop.

• Rings - used in Orthodox rite weddings

These are the main points, everything else is prepared in the temple. It is important to decide on the date and prepare for this event spiritually. You also need to decide how many singers there will be, they usually need to be paid separately. Singers, as a rule, are not on the church staff, but come only to services or services (weddings, funerals, baptisms).

Rules for the ceremony

Church wedding takes place in accordance with the established procedure. It usually follows the Liturgy, where the young are to receive communion. Before this, you should fast (fast), read certain prayers - there is about this. Such spiritual preparation is necessary in order to accept the Sacrament of marriage with a pure soul.

Witnesses used to play not only the role of those who hold the crowns. They vouched for the newlyweds, usually those who had known them for a long time. The guarantors took upon themselves the responsibility of looking after the spiritual situation in the new union. After all, this is a small church that was created with the goal of giving birth and raising children in piety. Therefore, the witnesses were people of advanced age with their own families. Today it is rather a tribute to tradition - the wedding will be held without witnesses.

According to the rules, the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church begins with betrothal. Previously, it took place separately, but now you very rarely see this. The young people stand in front of the doors of the temple, as if before the Lord Himself. The priest leads them into the church, like the first people into heaven, where they must lead a pure life.

• The priest censes, blessing the young. He blesses the bride and groom, then hands them candles. After the blessing you should be baptized. This is done three times.

• The fire of candles is a symbol of love, pure and hot, which spouses should nourish.

• The deacon reads special litanies, which everyone who comes to the temple can pray for.

• The priest reads a secret prayer for the newlyweds.

Then they bring rings, which are put on first to the groom and then to the bride with prayer. They will exchange them three times - as a sign that they now have everything in common. The ring is a sign of eternal union, readiness to sacrifice everything for the sake of a loved one. After the prayer, the betrothal ends and the wedding ceremony begins.

Continuing to hold the candles, the young people walk to the center of the temple, and a special psalm is sung. The couple stands on a towel, in front of them on a lectern (a special stand) are crowns, a Gospel, and a cross. Crowns in Orthodoxy mean not so much triumph as martyrdom. After all, it is not so easy to endure all the shortcomings of your spouse throughout your life, to be a support for the family, to support your “half”. Therefore, the sacrament asks for special help from God.

The priest will ask everyone in turn if they have a voluntary desire to get married; they must answer in the affirmative. There is also the question of whether the heart was promised to someone else. Some churches allow you to answer in Russian rather than Church Slavonic. Then follow three special prayers- one for Christ, two for the Triune God.

Only after this are the crowns taken (hence the name of the sacrament - wedding), placed on the newlyweds with prayer, and the Holy Scriptures read.

Then, after short prayers, both are given wine from the same cup. Also as a sign that the young are now waiting common life. Then the hands of the husband and wife are tied, and they follow the priest around the lectern three times.

The ceremony ends with the presentation of icons and instructions from the confessor. The meal, if it continues the service, must be decent, befitting the Christian calling, without drunkenness, dancing, or riotous fun.

How to behave in the temple

There are unspoken rules of behavior in the church that should not be violated. The wedding ceremony is carried out “to order”, but this does not mean that in front of you is a mummered toastmaster with a censer. You shouldn’t imitate television “stars” and behave provocatively.

• Witnesses and other participants in the ceremony should not forget that they are in the house of God. Laughter and conversations are inappropriate; if there is no desire to pray at all, it is better to leave the church altogether until the Liturgy is over. So at least you won’t distract the parishioners who came to pay their debt to the Lord.

• The bride and groom need to learn in advance the words that should be spoken during the ceremony. This is simple respect not only for the priest, but also for God.

• You should not shock others with your appearance - the bride’s dress should be closed. Or you need to purchase a cape that would cover your shoulders, back and neckline. Lipstick must be wiped off before the service begins.
• Women should enter the church with their heads covered, and skirts should be below the knee. Too bright makeup is also inappropriate.

The beauty of the wedding ceremony should be remembered forever by the young, but also remind them of in a deep sense Christian marriage - love, patience, sacrifice. It is possible to pass such a test worthily only by being in the bosom of the Church, attending services, and participating in the Sacraments. God bless you!

Wedding rules

Wedding in a church - rules, what is needed for the ceremony was last modified: July 8th, 2017 by Bogolub

A wedding in a church is a sacred rite that gives a husband and wife a church blessing for a happy family life, birth of children. Many couples decide to celebrate this beautiful and touching event. But in order for the ritual to be not just a tribute to fashion, but to become a serious, deliberate step, it is worth knowing its features.

Important conditions for a wedding

It is allowed to get married on the wedding day or after a period of time: a week, a month, years. The main thing is that all conditions provided by the church are met.

Who can get married?

An important condition for the ceremony is the presence of a marriage certificate. In addition, spouses must be baptized Orthodox Christians. However, in some cases, a wedding may be allowed if the spouse is a non-Orthodox Christian, provided that children born in marriage will be baptized in Orthodoxy. Compliance with the marriageable age is also important: the bride must be 16 years old, the groom - 18. There is no need to fear refusal if the wife is pregnant, since, according to the church, children should be born in a married marriage. The wedding can be held even if the spouses have not received a parental blessing, since it can be replaced by the blessing of the confessor.

There are not many restrictions on the sacrament of marriage. The Church will not approve of the ritual between unbaptized, atheists, blood, and also spiritual relatives, for example, between godparents of the child, between godfather and godson. This ceremony is allowed to be held no more than three times. It is also prohibited to get married if this is already your fourth officially registered marriage.

When is the ceremony allowed?

Often newlyweds decide to get married on the day with the official registration of marriage. But, given that such a sacrament of Orthodoxy is a rather serious step, there is no need to rush into the ceremony: it can be postponed until the birth of a child or carried out after several years of official marriage.

This ritual is not performed every day. Newlyweds are married 4 days a week on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. However, it is worth considering that there are 4 fasts throughout the year, during which church marriages are not celebrated:
- Rozhdestvensky - lasts November 28 - January 6;
- Great - seven weeks before Orthodox Easter;
- Petrov - depends on the date of Easter, lasts from 8 to 42 days;
- Uspensky - lasts from August 14 to August 27.

The church will also refuse to hold weddings on significant days:
- September 11 - Beheading of John the Baptist;
- September 27 - Exaltation of the Holy Cross;
- from January 7 to January 19 - Christmastide;
- on Maslenitsa;
- on Bright Week (the week after Easter).

Even if the day you choose does not fall on the listed dates, it is still better to go to church to clarify everything with the priest. In addition, the bride must calculate so that on the chosen date there will be no “ critical days", since it is impossible to appear in church at this time.

What should precede the wedding ceremony?

It is necessary to prepare spiritually for this ritual. This means that before the wedding the bride and groom need to pray, confess, take communion, endure three days fast(you must abstain from food of animal origin). Newlyweds should not enter into carnal relations before marriage, and this condition also applies to a couple who decide to get married a few years later living together. They need to refrain from intimate relationships for several days before the ceremony.

Preparation for the sacrament of wedding

Choosing a church, communicating with a priest

To decide where to get married, you can go to different churches and choose the church where you feel most comfortable. For a magnificent, solemn ceremony, a large cathedral is suitable, for a quiet, secluded ceremony - a small church. Because the priest is important actor ritual, it is worth taking a responsible approach to its choice.

You must register for the wedding ceremony in advance (several weeks in advance). It is also worth discussing all the issues with the priest in advance: the duration of the wedding, what you need to bring with you, whether photography can be carried out, etc. It is worth considering that this is a paid ceremony, but in some churches its exact cost is established, in others voluntary donations are provided. This issue should also be discussed with the priest. Moreover, “additional services” are often provided, for example, bell ringing, church choir.

Selection of guarantors

Two guarantors (witnesses) are usually chosen from close relatives. It is worth considering that they must be baptized. It is not allowed to take divorced spouses or a couple living in an illegal, “civil” marriage as guarantors. Their spiritual responsibilities are similar to those of godparents: they must spiritually guide the family they are creating. Therefore, it is not customary to invite young people who are not familiar with married life to be guarantors. If difficulties arise when searching for witnesses, it is possible to conduct the sacrament of wedding without them.

Choosing an outfit

• Bride
  
  The bride's wedding dress should not be higher than her knees, should cover her shoulders and preferably her arms, and should not have a deep neckline (you can use long gloves, a cape, a bolero, an openwork shawl, a stole, etc.). It is advisable to give preference to light colors along with dark and bright ones (purple, blue, black) should be abandoned. Sundresses and trouser suits are not suitable for the ceremony. The bride must cover her head. Considering that during the ceremony the newlyweds wear church crowns (crowns), you should not cover the bride’s head with a large hat, as it will look inappropriate.

  You can wear any kind of shoes, but when choosing them, you should take into account that you will have to stand in them for quite a long time, so it is better to avoid uncomfortable high-heeled shoes. To decide on a hairstyle, it is advisable to check with the priest in advance whether the crowns will be placed on the head or will be held by guarantors. The bride's makeup should not be too noticeable; it is also worth remembering that it is forbidden to kiss a crown, cross, or icon with painted lips.

  It is believed that a wedding dress cannot be given or sold. It must be stored together with baptismal shirts, wedding candles, and icons.

• Groom

  For a wedding, the groom will wear a formal suit. There are no special prohibitions regarding the color of the suit. You should not come to church in casual, denim, sportswear. The groom should not have a hat.

• Guests

  Guests entering the temple must comply with the requirements for all parishioners: for women - clothing closed type, hats, trouser suits are not recommended, for men - formal clothing, without a headdress.

  In addition, all participants and those present at the wedding ceremony: the bride, groom, guarantors and guests must wear crosses.

What to prepare for the ceremony

For the wedding you will need:
- rings that must be given to the priest before the ceremony for consecration;
- wedding candles;
- wedding icons (images of Christ and the Virgin Mary);
- a white towel (the newlyweds will stand on it during the ceremony);
- two scarves (to hold candles).

The towel on which the bride and groom stood during the wedding in the temple symbolizes life's path, so it must be stored and not given to anyone. You should also store wedding candles, which can be lit during difficult childbirth or illness of children.

Photographer's choice

It is important to note that making a video or photographing a wedding ceremony is not allowed in all churches. Therefore, it is worth discussing this issue with the priest in advance. Considering that the lighting in churches is specific, it is advisable to choose a professional photographer who will take into account the nuances of shooting, will be able to choose the right angles, and take high-quality photographs that convey the atmosphere of the temple and the grandeur of the wedding ceremony.

Wedding ceremony

This ritual includes engagement and wedding. It is worth considering that during the ceremony the priest must call the newlyweds by the names that were given to them at baptism (sometimes they differ from the names “in the world”). Engagement passes at the entrance to the church. The bride should stand to the left of the groom. The priest blesses the newlyweds and hands over lit wedding candles, which must be held until the end of the service. After the prayer, he changes the wedding rings three times from the man’s hand to the woman’s hand. After this they become the bride and groom.

Wedding is held in the center of the temple, where the bride and groom will stand on a white towel. During the ceremony, the priest reads prayers, and the guarantors hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. After answering the priest’s questions, “Is the wedding performed of one’s own free will?” “Are there any obstacles?” and reading prayers, the newlyweds become spouses before God. Now they can kiss their crowns and drink wine from a cup in three doses, which symbolizes family life with joys and sorrows. After the priest leads them around the lectern and leads them to the Royal Doors, the husband kisses the icon of Christ, and the wife kisses the Mother of God. Now guests can congratulate the newlyweds.

Remember that a wedding is not just memorable, bright holiday, but also a very responsible step, which is worth taking once in a lifetime. It is possible to divorce (debunk) spouses only under serious circumstances, with the permission of the diocese. Therefore, the union of one’s life before God and the sacrament of wedding itself should be approached seriously, with understanding and taking into account all traditions and rules.

Marriage, family, wedding - these are issues that today are actively considered from various points of view, not only in the church media. Adding urgency to these discussions is the practice, which has already become common for many, of frequently changing so-called “partners”, without consolidating the relationship within the framework of the family and without any obligations to each other. Of course, this applies primarily to people who are far from the Church, but let’s be honest, even church marriages do not always stand the test of time and circumstances. This is why perhaps one of the main topics around which the discussion centered was remarriage. And to what extent is it possible to enter into a second and third marriage with the blessing of the Church, that is, into a marriage sanctified church sacrament? We are talking about this with a famous confessor, rector of the Church of the Intercession Holy Mother of God in Akulovo.

- Father Valerian, is it possible in principle to perform a second wedding while your spouse is alive?

With a living spouse, according to the Holy Gospel, only under one condition: if the previous marriage broke up due to adultery. For example, she got married for the second time while her husband was alive (with the blessing of Metropolitan Philaret). Of course, this was an exceptional case, but anything can happen. The Church follows the path of mercy, the path of love.

There are three provisions in the Church: “impossible”, “not allowed” and “not accepted”. “You can’t” means you can’t. “It’s not allowed” - for example, bows are not allowed according to the charter, there are some other circumstances when something is not supposed. And there are some things that are customary to do in a certain way - or not customary.

There are only two rites for performing the sacrament of marriage. Moreover, the second rank is for those entering into a second marriage (if one of the spouses is widowed). And with a living spouse - special case. If the other half leaves the family and does not want to live with ex-husband, then - as the Lord said: “he will give a licentious book...” But, He adds, “for your hardness of heart.” In general, except because of adultery, a spouse should not let his other half go. But it happens that, as a human being, one of the spouses cannot stand, for example, the drinking of the other or something else.

And now the big disaster is that now everything is transferred to money. Reproaches from spouses are often heard: “You don’t earn money!” or “You don’t earn enough!” You never know how much someone earns! But today the world is ruled by capital, money, they modern world are at the forefront.

Of course, there is no third wedding. But today everything is so confused with us that it is difficult to understand: did they get married? How to count the next time: the third, fourth or fifth? They got married, the marriage is considered... And now the so-called “civil marriage” (GB) has appeared. “Civil fornication” in abbreviation, aka - . This, of course, is the problem of our time...

In these cases, there is only one way out: to pray and ask for admonition from God. It is difficult to figure out who is right and who is wrong: in any story there is the fault of each person. Of course, the one who is smarter is more to blame. And how the Lord judges is His holy will.

When a priest is ordained, he takes off his wedding ring and places it on the throne, thereby symbolizing that he is betrothed to God...

This is his special ministry. A priest can only get married once.

However, the draft of the new document brings up for discussion the question of the possibility of a second wedding, including for the priest. We all know situations when a young priest, after the sudden or tragic death of his wife, is left alone with a large family in his arms. In addition to his church service, he is also bound by everyday responsibilities, and often these priests can barely make ends meet - we have many poor parishes.

In fact, the history of the Church knows such examples, but there has never been any talk of any “second wedding.” For example, he became a widower and was left with his family in his arms. We all know his life path...

The fact is that here it is important to discern the ways of God’s Providence - it is impossible to speak abstractly. This means that this is the will of God.

You see what the matter is: if we take some actions, choose some workarounds for ourselves, it means that we are not honest with God and ourselves. Military example: if you choose military career, you know: either you will remain crippled after the war, or you will die altogether! But you chose this path and are ready for it. Or have you chosen a career as a sailor: they often don’t see their family at all for six months - and you have to accept this state of affairs. This is the choice of each individual person! Another thing is that not everyone is seriously aware of this.

I once told my father about my desire to go on a long voyage, and he replied: “While you are young, you are drawn to travel. And when you have a family and you’re hanging out somewhere far from her, you’ll howl like a beluga!” He just said this figuratively, but there was also a hint in his words: who can stand it? And not everyone can be a doctor, and not everyone can work in a morgue. These are the characteristics of each ministry.

Many people often raise questions about the connection between the Church and the modern state. After all, today the Church considers marriage valid and performs a wedding only if there is a civil registration of marriage. Yes, we know the words of the Apostle Paul: “There is no authority except from God.” And yet... How can the Church recognize a marriage that is only documented, and only on the basis of this document perform the Sacrament of Wedding? Isn't one enough church wedding, namely the Sacraments, because “marriages take place in Heaven” (if we omit, of course, the formal side of this question)?

We are no more than the Apostle Peter, who said: “Even if everyone denies, I will not deny!” - and then he renounced three times, and even with an oath. Therefore, it is very difficult to predict how people getting married will behave. Often you don’t know what to say to yourself, much less about other people’s plans. Of course, we often have to deal with this and deal with it. For example, people dispersed. Who owns the house? But it is not registered to anyone - it turns out: it does not belong to anyone... And so on. Of course, this is not the most important thing in the spiritual sense, but if the formal side is not so important, why not do it? Why not sign if there is no difference? This has nothing to do with the Sacrament, why not do it? If there is no difference: sign, get married, live...

This is the same as in the case of fasting. They say: “Does it matter what we eat?” Yes, it doesn’t matter: just eat lean! Or again: “What difference does it make whether we eat with butter or without (vegetable) oil?” Well, if there is no difference, then eat without oil!

- Is obedience to the Church important?

Yes, obedience to the Church. It’s not difficult, really: why not sign? The fact is that the Church still recognizes marriage and treats marriage with respect.

We must understand that in general marriage is not a church institution, it is a civil institution. existed even before Christianity; this is an ancient institution among many peoples. But if a person had a second marriage, of course, he cannot be a priest (even if it was an unwed marriage). It was still a marriage! According to the charter - yes.

Of course, there are exceptions here, there is episcopal power, but in general - this is so!

- Some priests act in some cases « according to oikonomia,” although often such “oikonomia” does not meet with a response in the hearts of believers. And there are rare cases when a person from a monastery comes into the world and gets married...

According to the Charter, such a person has no right to get married! Civil marriage in such cases it is possible, but not church!

I would like to ask you, dear Father Valerian, to address our readers with a pastoral word. Today is such an evil time when many of us seem to live within the fence of the Church, but are subject to our own laws and regulations, developed personally for ourselves, which seem more acceptable. Often everyone builds some kind of private church life for themselves, without having the opportunity to live the life of the parish.

When we talk about what existed before the revolution and exists today in some Local Churches(for example in Serbia), it is difficult for us to imagine what it really is. There in the parish they often gather after the Liturgy, discuss some pressing issues, and simply talk about the Gospel they have read... What do you think is important for the parish today?

There's one thing to remember here important thing: Let's compare Serbia and Russia in size: a small team is always easier to manage!

Once upon a time, I was asked a question about globalization. And before that, I once read an article (regardless of this) that if a person creates an analogue of the human brain (stuffed with all sorts of microchips), and one ten-thousandth of these elements does not work, it means that this whole system will no longer work , hopeless! Then Father John Vavilov told me: they seemed to have come to the conclusion that the more complex a person is, the more reliable he is. But it turned out to be the opposite: the more difficult it is, the more hopeless it is. Another Western freethinker said: “For large states dictatorship is necessary." This kind of public management is only possible for small societies, because there is still some way to survive there.

Moreover, the cell attendant of Bishop Nestor, now deceased, told me interesting story. When they asked him how he felt about building communism, he replied: “A useless exercise!” They asked him: “Are you against it?” - “No, I don’t mind, but it’s a useless exercise!” - “Why?” - “Yes, because the first Christians already had everything in common, but they didn’t last long!” And then they didn’t experiment anymore, because it was no longer possible.

So, this comparison with Serbia, for example, can be somehow understood from this example: if the organization is small, it is easier to arrange all this there.

After all, we also have separate parishes where real parish life takes place. But geographically in big cities they are dispersed, which is why everything is more complicated here! This concerns parish life.

And if we talk about self-inflicted behavior, then St. Theophan the Recluse spoke about this. He wrote that the spirit of selfishness, the spirit of division led to the fact that the Western Church separated from the Eastern. And then this spirit of selfhood began to divide the Western Church (and the Eastern, by the way) into all sorts of national and some other branches. He is trying to divide the Church. At first there was one Church, then two, then various states arose. Now every city has its own Church. And in the end, as they say, it will be like this: “everything is your own faith.” Saint Theophan wrote about this. So this is all predicted. We need to return to our roots, to what came before us.

For example, there was Optina, there were Father Georgy Kossov... There were individual lamps with their own parishes - we must return to these models. And then - as it turns out. That's how it will work!

- One of these days yours will be published. new book“How can we equip ourselves?” Please tell us a little about her.

This book contains the words spoken before confession. After all, when the prodigal son “went to a far country,” upon returning to his father he (as it is said in the Gospel) “came to his senses.” “I came to my senses” - that is, he assessed his life, compared it with his previous one, and from this he began a movement towards repentance, a movement towards returning to home.

This is exactly what it is: “find yourself.” Father Sergius Mechev said about this: “You need to find the image of God in yourself.” And in every person to see the image of God. Because this is exactly what is said in the Gospel: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” And not only will they see God - they will see the image of God in every person! Therefore, for the pure, everything is pure, and for the unclean, everything is unclean. And a sign of purity is not to see the sins of other people. And a sign of impurity is precisely when we see only the sins of another person.

This image of God is what you need to find and restore in yourself, first of all. Actually, what is education? Education is the re-creation of the image of God in man. This is the first thing. The second is the ability to think. And only in third place is knowledge. But the first thing is to restore the image of God in yourself, to be educated! That is, to be perfect, “just as your Heavenly Father is perfect”!