How to set the table for 40 days. Lenten funeral dinner: what to cook in Lent, recipes

Reference! It is worth mentioning that the commemoration was originally a pagan tradition, however, Christianity did not succeed in replacing it. Moreover, it organically incorporated this tradition into its own.

Our ancestors have been commemorating from time immemorial. Such customs can be seen in a variety of religions and creeds, among different peoples. The tradition of "seeing off" the dead is connected with the belief of many people in the soul and its immortality.

Wake does not mean just lunch or a meal, rather it is a special ancient ritual. Its main goal is to remember a person, about his good deeds and "help" him in the posthumous world.

In some regions, it is customary to go to the commemoration without an invitation. Those who wish to pay tribute to the deceased come, in others - strictly by invitation, without "extra" people.

When should the deceased be remembered?

According to the rites and traditions, in our area, wakes are held three times.

The first commemoration is made directly on the day of the funeral, in other words - on the third day (starting from the day of death):

• According to Orthodox doctrine, the soul of the deceased still remains on earth for the first two days and is with relatives and friends.
• Angels accompany the soul and show significant places for it, remind about good and evil deeds.
• On the third day comes the time for the soul to stand before God.
• Prayers are usually performed at the memorial table, it is unacceptable to laugh, remember the bad deeds of the deceased, use obscene language.

The second funeral rite, as a rule, is performed on the ninth day.

After three days, the soul, together with the angels, goes to heaven and observes their beauty and bliss. She is shown this world for about six days.

Finally, on the ninth day, the soul meets God again. The prayers that sound at the memorial table on this day help the soul to adequately pass these tests.

Well, the last commemoration, the third, make on the fortieth day.

Later they make a wake already a year later, that is, on the anniversary of death.

Attention! It is already permissible for the last commemoration when everyone who has a desire to honor the memory of the deceased comes.

When and how to commemorate a deceased person is described in the video:

Menu on the home table

Ever since the time of Russia, traditional dishes were served at the wake, for example, kanun (sati), kutya, jelly and pancakes.

They try to make the funeral table varied and plentifully covered. As a rule, hot and cold meat (and fish) dishes are served. Pies are a common dish.

Reference! The presence of an even number of dishes is highly desirable.

On the first

Great for a hot first course. Borsch.

Cooking:

1. To prepare it, you need meat broth (possible on the bone).
2. When the meat is cooked, you should start frying the vegetables.
3. Pour finely chopped onions into a heated pan with sunflower oil.
4. While it is fried, you need to cut the carrots and beets into cubes. Next, we also add these vegetables to the pan.
5. While our vegetables are fried, we also cut the potatoes into cubes and fall asleep in the broth.
6. While the potatoes are cooking, add our vegetables from the pan to the broth.
7. Next, cut the cabbage, tomatoes, sweet peppers also in the form of cubes.
8. Add remaining ingredients to broth.
9. Additionally seasons our borscht with black pepper, add bay leaf and garlic to taste.
10. A small amount of vinegar and sugar will not hurt.

hot dish

On a heated pan with sunflower oil, lay out our formed cutlets. Fry them on both sides. Next, pour a little oil into the pan and put the cutlets there. Pour half the layer of cutlets with water and simmer until evaporated.

For a snack

Beet and Garlic Salad Pretty easy to make:

1. We pre-wash the beets, but do not clean them. Wrap in foil and bake in the oven at about 180 degrees. Roasting time - from 60 to 80 minutes (depending on the size of the vegetable). You can also boil it.
2. Next, rub the beets, garlic and cheese.
3. Add mayonnaise, salt and spices to taste.
4. Chopped nuts or raisins are perfect for such a salad.
5. It remains only to mix the salad and serve it to the table.

Dessert

For cooking puffs we need puff pastry and filling (it can be from apples, cottage cheese, bananas, and so on).

Then we put the future puffs in the oven and bake at a temperature of about 220 degrees. Cooking time - 15 minutes ("until blush").

How to cook tasty kutya from rice?

Kutya- a must-have dish at any funeral dinner. It has a special spiritual meaning.

The grain in the porridge symbolizes the immortal soul, while the raisins and honey serve as a reminder that true spirituality brings eternal sweetness.

Therefore, the dish can only be prepared from whole grains, such as rice or wheat. Also for cooking we need raisins, honey, chopped nuts and water.

Before cooking kutya, you need to soak the cereal for several hours. Next, rice or wheat is cooked until the grains become soft. At the end, the rest of the ingredients are added and mixed.

Important! During the meal, each invited guest should taste a little kutya, and only after that you can proceed to other dishes.

How to properly and tasty cook a funeral kutya is described in the video:

What dishes to cook in the post?

Shchi is a common lenten memorial dish during Christmas or Lent.

How to cook delicious lean cabbage soup with mushrooms?

1. First you need to cook broth from mushrooms (about 2 liters).
2. Next, pour about 0.5 kg of sauerkraut with boiling water (about half a liter) and put it in the oven for half an hour at a temperature of 140 degrees.
3. Then pour a few tablespoons of sunflower oil, add some dill and coriander seeds.
4. We heat this mixture for about five minutes, but do not fry!
5. After that, we remove the seeds and add two chopped onions to the oil along with cabbage.
6. Next, you need to pour a small amount of buckwheat (2-3 tablespoons) into our broth.
7. We also add one carrot and two potatoes, after cutting the vegetables into cubes. We cook for half an hour.
8. At the end, add finely chopped garlic (quantity to taste), onion and cabbage to the broth. Cook for 20-30 minutes. Lenten cabbage soup is ready.

Reference! Wednesday and Friday of each week are considered fast days, since Christ was betrayed on Wednesday and crucified on Friday, so the memorial table these days should be modest.

Difference menu depending on the day of death

On the day of the funeral

One of the most important rules for cooking after a funeral at home is do not make too sumptuous and sumptuous meal.

There is no need to put more dishes at the memorial table. Enough to put just a few.

Important! There must be kutya. It is very good if it is consecrated in the church before the meal.

9 days after death

The menu for these memorial days is not much different from the rest. There is also a ban on drinking large amounts of alcohol.

The following snacks can be served on the memorial table:

• cold cuts (it can be both pickles and salads);
• an egg dish (for example, stuffed eggs);
• often found salted or fried fish

The first dish can be served with borscht, cabbage soup or other similar soup. As a side dish, you can serve any porridge, for example, buckwheat. You can cook pilaf. There is a tradition to serve pancakes at the end. From drinks, compote or jelly is perfect.

For 40 days

In principle, the dishes that are included in the menu for the commemoration have already been listed. There are no special changes or prescriptions here. The obligatory dish is kutya.

For the funeral table, you can cook a variety of salads, soups, meat dishes (if the commemoration does not fall on the day of fasting), fish dishes, pies.

Important! It is best to cook dishes according to simple recipes, without frills and frills. It is not so important for how many guests the table is laid. The most important thing is the lack of pomposity and modesty.

It is very good if the tablecloths and the interior have discreet colors and coloring. Do not turn the commemoration into ordinary gatherings.

What dishes are usually cooked for 9 and 40 days are described in the video:

For a year

It does not matter how much time has passed since the death of a person - 9, 40 days or a year, there must be traditional dishes at the table - kutya, pancakes, jelly. These dishes are a tribute to ancient rituals and have special symbolism.

At such a memorial meal, you need to serve light soups, you can cook fish soup or borscht. The main dish can be fried meat with mashed potatoes. It is also worth adding sandwiches, various pickles, fresh fruits and vegetables to the table.

Attention! It is a good tradition to serve those dishes that the departed person liked. And of course, avoid excesses, overeating and large amounts of alcohol.

A commemoration is a tribute to the memory of the deceased, and not a noisy feast!

If the commemoration takes place on fast days, then the food should be fast. Transfer the onions and carrots to a bowl, and fry the mushrooms in the remaining oil for 4 minutes. For the second at the lenten funeral table, dishes with mushrooms are suitable. If the commemoration fell on the time of Great Lent, then on weekdays the commemoration is not performed, but is transferred to the next (forward) Saturday or Sunday. From the lean yeast dough prepared according to this recipe, you can bake pies with different fillings, open and closed.

This is done because only on these days (on weekends in Lent) are the Divine Liturgies of John Chrysostom and Basil the Great celebrated, panikhidas are performed. Pancakes should also be on the table. In a fasting week, they are cooked without eggs and milk, but this does not affect their taste in any way. Kutya is served to guests as a first course, following the following order. Even light wines at such a commemoration would be out of place.

If the memorial days fell on the 1st, 4th and 7th weeks of Great Lent (the most severe weeks), then only the closest relatives are invited to the memorial dinner. However, you should not replace this dish with soda and any sweet water from a bottle, juice. Compote has traditionally been present at the memorial table among the Slavs since ancient times. Traditionally, pies should be present on the memorial table.

First, cook any soup, cabbage soup or borscht, but not with meat broth, but with beans, beans, lentils. You can make mushroom soup. You can cook soy patties or even soy chops.

Funeral meal menu or What to cook for a wake

Wash greens, dry and chop. Place half of the fried onion in a bowl and set aside. Prepare the filling: Rinse the rice and boil until half cooked in salted water. Drain the water. Wash the carrots, peel and grate on a coarse grater. Peel and finely chop the onion. Prepare tomato-sour cream sauce: Combine sour cream with tomato paste, dilute the sauce with water, salt and pepper. Prepare the filling. Wash mushrooms and cut into slices.

Kissel for a wake

Peel the garlic and finely chop. Peel and finely chop the onion. Prepare the filling: combine water, tomato paste, add a little salt and mix well. Put the fish with vegetables in the oven over medium heat and bake for 40 minutes until tender. Put the apples in a bowl, add granulated sugar, butter, a little water and simmer.

That is why, in the funeral custom, jelly was preserved in this form: with milk. You can make your own oatmeal by grinding oatmeal in a coffee grinder. Pour hot jelly into molds, let it harden and cut into portions with a knife. Add a well-washed handful of raisins to the infusion and leave at room temperature for another half a day.

Then everything is as in the recipe: let it brew for two days, drain, add sugar and raisins, let it stand again and put the bottles in the refrigerator. An obligatory part of the memorial meal is kutya - porridge made from millet cereals or rice with the addition of honey and dried fruits. According to religious beliefs, this dish symbolizes the resurrection of the deceased in the next world and, as it were, "sweets" his stay in heaven.

First, the dish is brought to the closest relatives of the deceased, then the plates with kutya are placed in front of friends, colleagues and acquaintances of the deceased. Kissel for funeral dinners has been prepared for centuries, and it would be right to observe this long tradition.

So, on the memorial table you can put vinaigrette, herring under a fur coat, sauerkraut, cucumber and tomato salad. The remaining dishes can be distributed to neighbors or treat colleagues at work, asking them to remember a person close to you. Cut carrots, turnips and parsley into circles and put in a saucepan. Bay leaf and allspice are put in cabbage soup along with carrots.

Finely chop the leek greens and add to the pickle. Cut the stems of spicy greens into grits and put in a saucepan removed from heat. Let stand under the lid. Separate and shred the cabbage leaves.

Salted mushrooms should be washed in cold water and also chopped. In the same way, you can cook caviar from salted tomatoes. Boil the cauliflower in salted water and separate into florets. You can’t salt cabbage soup from sauerkraut - you can ruin the dish. Shchi tastes better the longer it cooks. Soak large red beans in cold water overnight and then boil until tender.

Preparation of the pie: from 500 g of flour, 2 cups of water and 30 g of yeast and 1/2 teaspoon of salt, prepare a simple yeast dough, let it rise. Fry a lot of finely chopped onions in vegetable oil, layer the baked cakes with them, stacking them one on top of the other, and bake the pie in the oven. Soak white beans in cold water overnight. Pour the prepared beans with fresh cold water, bring to a boil, add half the norm of vegetable oil and cook for about half an hour.

Alcohol at the wake

Uzvar (vzvar) is a traditional dried fruit compote with honey. You can serve its modern counterpart: compote of frozen berries or dried apricots. They are also handed out to guests after the meal is over. Shape the dough into balls and let them rise. If you serve it with croutons, it will turn out no less satisfying and tasty than the usual meat first. For example, boiled potatoes in mushroom sauce, stewed potatoes with mushrooms, noodles with mushrooms. After frying in breadcrumbs, they will become a worthy replacement for their meat prototypes.

The dough for lean pies is made according to the recipe below. As a filling, you can use mushrooms, onions, green onions, sorrel. Dough for lean pies can be prepared according to the same principle, choosing any vegetables, berries or dried fruits for the filling. Despite the presence of restrictions, the funeral table, however, can be covered with a variety of tasty and satisfying dishes.

If the memorial day of 9 or 40 days falls in fasting, then a fasting memorial dinner should be prepared. What is included in it, what dishes may be present on the memorial table - read below. Read the general rules for holding a commemoration.

If the commemoration of 9 or 40 days fell during Great Lent, then on weekdays the commemoration is not performed, but is transferred to the next (forward) Saturday or Sunday, the so-called “counter commemoration”. This is done because only on these days (on weekends in Lent) are the Divine Liturgies of John Chrysostom and Basil the Great celebrated, panikhidas are performed. If the memorial days fell on the 1st, 4th and 7th weeks of Great Lent (the most severe weeks), then only the closest relatives are invited to the memorial dinner.

Kutya recipe for a wake

The traditional dish of the memorial table among the Slavs has long been considered. The simplest and most unpretentious dish: wheat grains are soaked overnight, then boiled until soft, steamed raisins and poppy seeds, honey are added. You can replace wheat with rice, but this tradition appeared much later.

Lenten pancakes for the wake

Pancakes should also be on the table. In a fasting week, they are cooked without eggs and milk, but this does not affect their taste in any way. To prepare lean pancakes, mix flour, salt, sugar and dry yeast, dilute with warm water, add vegetable oil and leave for a while in a warm place so that pancakes can rise.

Uzvar or compote for Lenten commemoration

Uzvar (vzvar) is a traditional dried fruit compote with honey. You can serve its modern counterpart: compote of frozen berries or dried apricots. However, you should not replace this dish with soda and any sweet water from a bottle, juice. Compote has traditionally been present at the memorial table among the Slavs since ancient times.

Traditionally, pies should be present on the memorial table. They are also handed out to guests after the meal is over.

Recipe for lean cakes for the wake:

The dough for lean pies is made according to the recipe below. As a filling, you can use mushrooms, onions, green onions, sorrel.

For the dough, dilute the yeast in 1.5 cups of warm water, add 200 g of flour, stir and put in a warm place to stand for a couple of hours. Then mix 100 g of vegetable oil with 100 g of sugar, pour into the dough, add 250 g of flour, leave for another hour.

Shape the dough into balls and let them rise. Then roll the balls into cakes, put the mushroom mass in the middle of each, make pies, let them rise for half an hour on a greased baking sheet, then carefully grease the surface of the pies with sweet water and bake in the oven for 30-40 minutes over medium heat.

Cover the finished pies with a towel to cool. Remove from pan when they are completely cool.

The first dishes of the memorial dinner in Lent

First, cook any soup, cabbage soup or borscht, but not with meat broth, but with beans, beans, lentils. You can make mushroom soup. If you serve it with croutons, it will turn out no less satisfying and tasty than the usual meat first.

The second dishes of the memorial dinner in Lent

For the second at the lenten funeral table, dishes with mushrooms are suitable. For example, boiled potatoes in mushroom sauce, stewed potatoes with mushrooms, noodles with mushrooms. You can cook rice with vegetables (prepared like pilaf, but without meat). This is a rather fragrant and satisfying dish, quite appropriate on the funeral table.

You can cook soy patties or even soy chops. If you do not want to buy ready-made soy products in the store, you can make your own cabbage or carrot cutlets. After frying in breadcrumbs, they will become a worthy replacement for their meat prototypes.

Salted and pickled vegetables can be served with the main dishes: cucumbers, tomatoes, zucchini (in general, check your country stocks). Vinaigrette, Olivier without meat and mayonnaise, any vegetable salad (cucumbers + tomatoes, cabbage + cucumbers) will do as a side dish.

Remember that the essence of any (even a modest, even fasting) memorial dinner is not to eat deliciously, but to "reinforce strength for prayer for the deceased."

Orthodoxy considers the fortieth day after the funeral an extremely important date, the same as the ninth. The accepted canons of the Christian faith say that it is on this day that the soul of the deceased receives an answer about where it will spend eternity. It is believed that for 40 days the soul is still on earth, but after this day it leaves it forever and moves to its allotted place.

A commemoration for 40 days after death is a mandatory event that should be done correctly.

How a Believer Approaches Death

In the ancient world there was no such thing as a birthday, and people did not celebrate this date. There is a theory according to which it is for this reason that the time of the birth of Jesus Christ was not accurately indicated. But another date was much more important - the moment of death, when the spirit met the Creator.

Ancient people believed in the afterlife, so their whole life was a preparation for this transition. Today's Christians also believe in the transition to another life, through the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ, so believers should not be afraid of death, because this is only a moment of meeting with God.

A commemoration on the 40th day after death is a celebration of this transition, after forty days of preparing the soul for this.

Important articles:

Most Christian denominations believe that after the soul leaves the body, nothing can be done to influence eternal life, and even more so to repent to the Creator. However, after that, emotions and memories are stored, so that a person is aware of everything.

Advice! Thus, death is the transition of the spirit from the body to another world, where he reaps the fruits of his earthly deeds. That is why it should not be feared, and believers, all the more, should not experience horror, but everyone should prepare by doing good deeds and doing alms.

memorial service

Why 40 days and what happens during this time

Why is this date so important and why such a number of days?

Nobody knows for sure. But it is the Orthodox faith that has a unique view of the afterlife and believes that prayer for the fortieth day can affect the verdict that our God will pass on the soul.

The countdown is from the day of death, i.e. it is considered the first day, regardless of the time recorded by doctors or relatives, even if the person died in the evening. Both dates, together with the day of rest, are considered commemorative, i.e. On these dates, it is customary to remember the deceased. A Christian is remembered by prayer, church and home, as well as dinner and alms.

Related articles:

Tradition says that 40 days is the time that is necessary to prepare the soul to receive the Divine gift from the Heavenly Father. This number appears repeatedly in the Bible:

• Moses fasted for forty days before talking with Yahweh at Sinai, during which he was given the 10 commandments;
• 40 days after death, Christ ascended (which is especially important);
• The campaign of the Jews to the Promised Land lasted for 40 years.

The theologians took into account all these facts and decided that the soul needs 40 days to receive a decision from the Heavenly Father about where it will spend eternity. Meanwhile, the church and relatives are praying for her, trying to beg the Creator for mercy and for the cleansing of the deceased from sins.

What is happening at this time? The soul wanders: in the first nine days she worships God, on the ninth day the angels show her hell, and on the 40th day the Heavenly Father announces her sentence. During this time, the resting spirit will have to endure the most terrible test - to visit hell and see how sinners suffer. It is this test that the prayers of the church and the Guardian Angel help to endure.

It is important to ask the church to pray for the deceased, so you should order services in the temple:

• funeral services.

But it is much more important for relatives and friends to sincerely and fervently ask the Lord for mercy for the deceased. In addition, you can read a prayer service to Saint War for the repose of the soul.

Prayer to Saint War

“Oh, holy martyr Uare, venerable, with zeal for the Lord Christ we kindle, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you suffered zealously for Him, and now the Church honors you, as if glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness to Him , and now stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember our relatives and languor, who died in ungodliness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatrius, the unfaithful generation of your prayers freed from eternal torment Thou, so remember the figurines of the godly buried, who died unbaptized, trying to ask them for deliverance from eternal darkness, so that with one mouth and one heart we will praise the Most Merciful Creator forever and ever. Amen".

Icon of the Martyr Uar

Order of conduct: commemoration rules

On the fortieth day, the spirit of the deceased returns home for a day and then leaves the earth forever. Traditions say that if the spirit does not find the commemoration on its own, it will suffer for all eternity, therefore it is necessary to set the table on this day and get together to remember the deceased, but this must be done correctly.

1. Pray: on this day, all 40 days and in the future to remember the deceased;
2. Bring a priest to the grave to perform a service or order a prayer service in the temple;
3. When ordering a memorial service, it is necessary to renounce any of your sin, for your own benefit and to comfort the soul of the deceased;
4. Make a donation to the temple;
5. Gather at a common table all those who are close to the deceased and Orthodox Christians;
6. Prepare special meals;
7. Don't sing songs.

A commemoration is not a celebration or a holiday, it is a moment of sorrow and petition. It is highly inappropriate to drink alcoholic beverages at this time, sing songs or listen to music. They pass within 1-2 hours, when believers remember the departed and pray for him.

Therefore, it is important that only Christians be present at the dinner, who will be able to share this time of grief with the family and support them spiritually.

What to cook

The meal is simple, especially if there is a general church fast. Even if there is no fasting, meat food should be avoided and in no case should you donate it to the temple.

Lunch can be arranged both at home and in a cafe. If the deceased was a permanent parishioner, the priest may allow a commemoration to be held in the church house after the end of the memorial service. Lunch is a continuation of the rite of worship, so it should be held with dignity.

There are a number of dishes that have been prepared for such dinners since ancient times. They are simple and satisfying.

An obligatory dish is considered to be cooked in a large saucepan, and fish, which can be served in any form. Baked or fried meat is not welcome on the tables. It is necessary to make a meal as lean as possible in order to benefit not only the spirit, but also the body.

In addition to kutya and fish, you can put on the table:

• sweet pancakes;
• fish sandwiches (with sprats or herring);
• vegetable salads: beetroot with garlic, vinaigrette, herring under a fur coat, olivier;
• cutlets: ordinary meat or stuffed with mushrooms and cheese;
• peppers stuffed with rice and meat;
• jellied fish;
• lean cabbage rolls (stuffing of vegetables and mushrooms with rice);
• baked fish;
• pies: fish, cabbage, rice, mushroom, potato or sweet (charlotte).

There are also a number of drinks that should be on the memorial table:

• kvass;
• lemonades;
• sbiten;
• fruit drink and juice;
• kissel: you can cook both from berries and from oatmeal.

Important! Be sure to remember that the church forbids drinking alcoholic beverages at such events, as well as leaving vodka on the grave of the deceased. During dinner, they remember the deceased, and with him other deceased relatives and friends.

memorial meal

memorial speech

At such meals, it is imperative to make a speech, after which everyone should honor the deceased with a minute of silence.

It is best if there is a manager, someone close to the family, but controlling his emotions and maintaining a sober mind. His duties will include not only control over the preparation for the meeting (control over the staff if the event is in a cafe), but also giving the floor to relatives.

Usually each of the family tries to say something about the deceased. And the manager controls the time of the word and the sequence (the first should be close relatives - spouse, parents or children, etc.

Sorrow is quite expected at such an event, so the manager must prepare and divert attention from the crying person to himself in time. It is worth remembering that a person did not die forever, but moved to a better life, and this fact can be reminded in especially mournful moments.

Important! If a priest was called to a meal, then he must definitely serve a prayer service and deliver a sermon. If the memory takes place in a small circle, then all those gathered should pray for the deceased and, if possible, read a memorial service or prayer service on their own. At this time, it is recommended to light church candles.

What to talk about in such a speech? A person suddenly died and it would be appropriate to remember what he was like, his good deeds and distinctive qualities. It is not worth remembering resentment and strife, if they left resentment in the heart, this is the best time to talk about forgiveness. It is necessary to remember a person only from the good side, to describe some joint deeds, to remember a funny incident or a particularly touching one.

A memorial speech is a sad speech, but not dreary. Man has not ceased to exist, just now he is in a different form and world.

Who is not remembered

• suicides;
• who died under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Important! If a person independently decided to neglect the main gift of God - life, then the Church has no right to commemorate him as a believer. You can pray for such people in person and do alms in memory of them, but prayers are not served for them.

Questions usually arise whether the church serves prayers for dead babies, and the ruling bishop answers it: it is imperative to pray for the baby, regardless of age or cause of death. It is believed that the Lord, taking children, protects them from a difficult fate in adulthood.

It is extremely important for parents to accept His will with humility and pray for their child.

alms

The tradition of the Orthodox Church says that Christians on the 40th day should take apart the belongings of the deceased and distribute them to those in need.

At the same time, she asked people to pray for him and asked the Lord to grant him eternal life in paradise. This is a good deed, which can also affect the final decision of the Lord God about the spirit of the deceased.

You can leave the family personal items and those that are valuable as a memory of the departed. If there is no needy person nearby, then things can be taken to the temple and left by the priest, who will find a new owner for them.

Important! Almsgiving is a good deed, which, like prayer, is reflected in the eternal life of the deceased.

Watch the memorial video

In Orthodoxy, it is customary to organize funeral dinners, which bring together relatives and relatives of the deceased. We honor the deceased at the funeral and after them, for 9 and 40 days and on the anniversary of death, setting the table and remembering a person close to us, but who has left us.

If christian commemoration differ in an open expression of the pain of loss and an abundance of dishes, respectively, then it is not customary for Muslims to express their grief in tears and sobs, and the table should be modest.

Funeral dinner: menu

Funeral dinner or meal- This is one of the rites of commemoration of the dead, which is the final part of the service. It has not only its own history, traditions, but also a menu. It is worth noting that meals for the commemoration of the dead have been held since ancient times, but Christians have their own opinion on this matter. So, a table for honoring the memory of the deceased is set on the third day after death, as well as for 9, 40 days and 1 year. Christians should not eat food on the graves of the dead, but only after returning from the cemetery and having performed the rite of purification before the meal. If in ancient times this was embodied in washing the whole body, changing clothes and washing floors and walls, in our time everything has been simplified to washing hands before eating.

There is also an etiquette for memorial meals. So, they can't come without an invitation. Table setting takes place in a special way: ordinary dishes are used, a device is placed for the deceased and his portrait with a black ribbon, and guests are seated according to the distance of kinship, that is, the husband or wife, parents, children, etc. will sit closest to the deceased’s device. All those who arrived from the cemetery should wash their hands, sit down at the table by invitation. During lunch, it is not customary to talk loudly and laugh. The remembrance meal always begins and ends with the lighting of a candle and the recitation of a prayer. In addition to turning to God during such a dinner, it is customary to say and remember all the good things about the deceased, in whose memory it is organized. After dinner is over and prayers are read, everyone disperses without saying goodbye.

Now let's talk about the menu. On the table in commemoration of the dead, kutya is prepared from wheat or rice grains seasoned with honey. The eating of food begins with it, and it ends with it. Here, grains symbolize the resurrection promised to the righteous after the Last Judgment, and honey shows how sweet life will be in the kingdom of God. Kutya is sacred in the temple.

Further, the food is prepared depending on the availability on the day of the commemoration of fasting. It is advisable to exclude alcohol at the memorial meal. Obligatory dishes served at the wake are pancakes and jelly. Here, pancakes symbolize the daily cycle, when after sunset, sunrise is sure to follow, and the immortal soul is waiting for rebirth. In the old days, pancakes were always served with honey before eating the main dishes.

In general, all the food that is usually served at the table in commemoration of the deceased carries a special meaning and is a specific symbol. The first dish that was put on the table after kutya with pancakes was hot soup, from which steam must certainly rise, helping the soul of the deceased to ascend to God. The first is usually served with borscht or cabbage soup, and sometimes they are replaced with noodle soup. Next in importance was barley or wheat porridge, demonstrating the power contained in them. It was also necessary to eat eggs, as a symbol of the rebirth of the soul and its immortality. If lunch does not fall on the day of fasting, then among the optional dishes could be put on the table:

• cutlets;
• cabbage rolls;
• chops;
• meat and cheese cuts;
• other meat dishes.

At the wake, vegetable salads are served. The most popular in such cases are vinaigrette, fresh cucumber and tomato salad, as well as fresh or sauerkraut. If a memorial meal is organized at home, then they also put aspic.

Sweet dishes are also served: cookies, pancakes, sweets, and other pastries. But it is not customary to serve cakes and pastries in such cases.

In the old days, on such occasions, thick oatmeal jelly was served, which was cut into pieces with a knife. Now drinks for commemoration at meals are compotes and uzvars from dried fruits, juices and fruit jelly.

It is customary to distribute the food left after the end of the commemoration to those participating in it, so that they can continue the commemoration at home with their loved ones, and thereby help the soul of the deceased come closer to the creator. When organizing them, it should be remembered that they should serve as support for the soul of the deceased in its difficult journey to the Lord, and not become a feast. Therefore, do not cook and order a lot of food. Everything should be modest and strict.

All the words that were said before were about people who were baptized. For unbaptized and suicides, for whom a prayer service and liturgy are not performed, it is also possible to organize a commemoration by reading home prayers, and in the temple they pray for such people on parental Saturday before the Trinity, when a prayer is read for all the dead.

Funeral dinner for 40 days

Religious canons say that after forty days after death, the soul of the deceased appears before the Lord and judges it, and determines its place. The last hope for her salvation can be given by prayers and commemoration of relatives. It consists not only in prayers offered to God, but also in kind words about the deceased, in the memorial table, which continues the service and is a demonstration of love and respect for him.

The soul of the deceased on the 40th day returns to his home, in order to leave it forever in a day. For this, they set the table to pray again for her salvation and help find peace. It is believed that restless souls stay in the house forever, because they cannot leave it until they calm down.

In order to facilitate the wanderings and ordeals of the spirit of the deceased, after his death, several conditions must be met:

1. In the church, a magpie is ordered - a prayer service, which is served for the deceased for 40 days. In addition to it, all these days, relatives and close people of the deceased pray for the soul of the deceased who left them.
2. In order to provide her with significant help, Orthodox priests advise sacrificing themselves at least for this period, giving up addictions: smoking, drinking alcohol, gluttony, etc.
3. For 40 days, only baptized and believing in God people are called. Only in their power to help the soul of a loved one, but who died in God, receive the forgiveness of sins and go to heaven.
4. A memorial meal should not turn into a feast. This is a rite of remembrance and empty talk is inappropriate.
5. At the wake, the use of alcoholic beverages, fun and singing songs are prohibited.

For 40 days, you can set the table with the same dishes as the commemoration after the funeral. Kutia and pancakes will be obligatory here, and you can cook various dishes. The menu for such a meal can be assembled as follows:

• vegetable appetizer of eggplant and tomatoes with garlic;
  
• buckwheat porridge with meat or mushrooms;
  
• sandwiches with sprats;
  
• vegetable salad, for example, vinaigrette - in winter, and tomato-cucumber - in summer;
  
• cutlets;
  
• Fried fish;
  
• stuffed peppers or cabbage rolls;
  
• pies with various fillings: mushrooms, cabbage, apples;
  
• jelly from berries or knots.

If fasting falls on the date for the commemoration, then only fasting dishes should be served.

For 40 days, the Christian custom involves distributing to the needy the things of the deceased with a request to pray for his soul. This charity can be credited to her when deciding on her fate. It is customary to take things not distributed to the temple. But you can't throw anything away.

On this day, while eating food, they say words in commemoration not only of the deceased, according to whom they are organized, but also remember all the deceased relatives. It is believed that all of them are invisibly present with the living. Words about the dead are pronounced standing up.

Funeral dinner for 9 days

After 9 days after the funeral, it is also customary to commemorate the deceased by organizing a dinner. Such a meal takes place exclusively at home.

The soul of the deceased after the funeral prepares for a meeting with the creator. She, after three days of staying with us, goes to heaven, where she must rest from worldly suffering and pain. She is shown all the sins committed by a person during his lifetime. On the ninth day, the soul of the deceased appears before God, after which she is supposed to go to hell to endure ordeals.

In Orthodoxy, it is believed that it is impossible to constantly mourn the deceased, you need to gradually calm down, because this prevents the soul of the deceased from finding peace. With their tears, the living do not allow the soul to leave, keeping it on the ground.

It is not customary to invite people for 9 days, everyone comes by themselves. At the beginning and end of the meal, the Lord's Prayer is read. During the meal, you need to pray for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.

They start the meal with kutya, and then they serve borscht and porridge. It is served with cutlets, fish, mushrooms, meat. Drinks can be compotes, and they end it with pies with jam or other sweet filling, there can be pancakes.

Memorial dinner for the year

The anniversary of death is the sum of life on earth. On this day, they go to the cemetery and commemorate the deceased in the church. At the same time, they set the table, inviting them to a funeral dinner. On the anniversary of death, in addition to the obligatory kutya, it is customary to serve dishes beloved by the deceased. The menu should be simple. On this day, you can submit:

• Borsch;
• noodles or porridge with chicken and mushrooms;
• meat and fish dishes;
• jelly, compote or juice;
• pie or pies;
• cuts: meat, cheese, fish.

Memorial lunch in Lent

Fasting is not a reason for refusing to commemorate the dead. The exceptions are those days when 9 and 40 days fall on the weekdays of Great Lent. In this case, the memorial meal is postponed to the next Saturday. For a meal in the post, an approximate menu may be as follows:

• lean borscht or cabbage soup;
• mushrooms with potatoes, noodles, buckwheat porridge;
• salted, pickled or fresh vegetables;
• legumes: soybeans, beans;
• lean pancakes and pies;
• nuts and raisins;
• on holidays such as the Annunciation and Palm Sunday, it is allowed to cook fish.

Prayer before funeral

No memorial service is complete without prayer. The whole essence of this rite is to beg forgiveness of sins for the soul of the deceased and granting her eternal life in the kingdom of God. What prayer is read before sitting at the table? Traditional for the beginning of the commemoration is 17 kathisma. They also read "Our Father" or home prayer.