Funeral on the 4th day. Funeral service for the deceased: important nuances

During a funeral, you need to follow certain rules of behavior so as not to get yourself into trouble. The energy of death is very strong, so a careless act during the burial process or at a wake can result in illness and even inadvertent damage to oneself.

To avoid unpleasant consequences, you need to carefully prepare for seeing off the deceased: study common signs and strictly adhere to established rules, since the beliefs associated with funerals were not formed by chance.

What to do immediately after the death of a loved one

According to signs, funeral arrangements should not be dealt with blood relatives deceased. However, it is not always possible to get rid of these troubles, but the maximum part of funeral affairs can be transferred to ritual organizations. Those close to you need to take more time to understand what happened and mourn.

The customs of Orthodox people require relatives to be with the body of the deceased until the moment of burial. You cannot leave the deceased alone in the house; it is believed that the person’s soul is near him and will be offended by his loved ones if they leave him during the most important period of farewell. Believers need to provide prayer support to the deceased; for this they need to read psalms and prayers near the coffin.

It is not customary for Muslims to attach importance to signs, but their customs do not allow burying one’s own person in a cemetery of a non-Christian, so loved ones should adhere to this tradition, otherwise the soul of the deceased will not find peace.

Special attention beliefs should be given to those who are close to the deceased before burial.

While being near the body, you must not come into the field of view of the deceased in case his eyes suddenly open. Anyone who falls under the gaze of the dead will very soon go to another world.

It is prohibited to leave unattended items related to cleaning and washing the deceased. They must be placed in a coffin so that no one can use them. With their help, sorcerers can bring damage to the entire family of the deceased; you need to take special care of:

• soap;
• comb;
• sponges and washcloths;
• rags;
• towels

It is they who are used by ill-wishers for their dark deeds. There is also a sign that anyone who unknowingly uses something used in washing will definitely take on the spirit of death and die in the coming year.

The following beliefs will help you avoid negative energy that will remain in the house if you ignore the instructions:

• Immediately after death, mirrors and reflective surfaces must be covered with thick fabric or taken out of the house altogether.
• According to the sign, the soul of the deceased will end up in the world through the looking glass, and not in the afterlife, if this is not done. Mirrors can only be opened after forty days, since during this period the person’s spirit is at home. Until the dead person is buried, you cannot sweep or wash the floors
• , otherwise everyone living in the room will be “swept out” and “washed away” from there. IN Animals should not be allowed into the room with the body; the howling, barking, meowing and other sounds they make frighten the spirit.
• If a cat or dog jumps into a coffin, it means trouble. Coniferous tree branches should be placed at the threshold.
• According to beliefs, they delay the energy of death and do not allow those who come to say goodbye to the deceased to take it with them. Widows or single people should wash and dress the dead in clean clothes.
• , this sign is due to the fact that, in gratitude for the care, the spirit of the deceased sometimes moves into the close people of the person who took care of his body, not wanting to part with this person.
• You cannot spend the night in the same room with the deceased, otherwise sleep will be disturbed for the rest of your life.

The coffin should be ordered after making careful measurements, since if the dead does not fit in it, then the place for the deceased will go to a blood relative.

Funeral

• Funeral signs are closely related to natural phenomena: If on the day of the funeral good weather
• - this means that the person did not live his life in vain, he brought into the world what was destined for him, and left calmly.
• Rain means unfinished business and premature death. This sign indicates to loved ones the need to finish what the deceased started.

Fog and drizzle are harbingers of new life in the family of the deceased. It was not in vain that the man died, by doing so he freed up space in the family for future development; his successor should soon be born.

Immediately after the removal, it is necessary to thoroughly clean the house; this is usually done by negotiating with neighbors or friends who do not have close ties with the deceased. Following this sign, the relatives avert the anger of the deceased from themselves, and make the soul understand that there is no need for it to stay in this home. Cleaning also allows you to expel the spirit of death from the room.

Features of carrying out the coffin:

• Blood relatives are prohibited from carrying the body, otherwise death will spread to the entire family and take one after another in the coming years.
• You cannot walk in front of the coffin - by doing so, a person dooms himself to certain death.
• Someone must close the doors and gates immediately after removing the deceased, open doors are considered an invitation to death into the home.

Neighbors and other spies should not look at the procession through the window. According to the sign, watching a funeral from home will lead to serious illnesses not only of the person watching, but also of all household members. If you happen to see a body being taken out of a window and a farewell being said by chance, you should immediately look away and go outside to show respect for the deceased. The same sign applies to those who cross the path of a funeral procession; deliberately blocking the path will lead to the death of the person obstructing, and if you accidentally cross the road, you need to cross yourself and apologize.

At the cemetery

Bad sign- to see that the grave is dug too wide, this threatens the death of the closest relative of the deceased. The same applies to a coffin lid forgotten at home. If they forgot to take it to the cemetery, this is a very bad sign, leading to the premature death of the relatives of the deceased.

TO special signs include hammering nails into the lid - the last nail must be driven directly into the cemetery, so the coffin should be closed there; it is strictly forbidden to do this at home, otherwise new dead people will appear in the family.

Before lowering the coffin, it is customary to throw coins at the bottom of the grave to buy a place for the deceased. Also, fir branches are placed in the hole, which bring peace to the deceased and do not allow groundwater freeze it. This ritual is also referred to as the funeral of suicides. If a person died voluntarily, then the branches soften his further torment in the next world.

If the coffin fell while descending into the grave or moving, this means that the deceased left a lot of unfinished business that must be completed by those present at the funeral.

Parting:

• Pregnant women should not go to the cemetery, since the soul of the deceased clings to life and can enter the body of the unborn, but if the baby’s father has left this world, then this will not happen. Loving woman is obliged to say goodbye to the man according to all the rules, but she needs to put an object in the coffin that represents their love so that the deceased can calmly leave this world.
• You cannot walk over other graves during a funeral - this angers and attracts spirits who can follow the parishioner and haunt him in his dreams.
• In the cemetery, you need to put coins on the eyelids of the deceased so that the eyes do not open when the last kisses are placed on the forehead of the deceased, otherwise the deceased may take someone from those present at the funeral with him.
• It is imperative to put the deceased’s favorite things in the coffin so that he does not return for them, but jewelry should not be placed so that greedy people do not disturb the sleep of the deceased by digging up the grave for profit.

You should pay attention to those who come to say goodbye; if there are strangers among them, then their behavior must be observed. Very often ill-wishers come to funerals, trying to steal the dead person’s thing, which can be damaged. However, catching a sorcerer in a cemetery is a good omen; it means that the deceased will sleep peacefully.

It is a very bad sign to forget something in a cemetery. Even if valuable things are left behind, you cannot return for them, otherwise death will follow the person.

Many people take snacks and alcohol to the cemetery to remember the deceased. This should not be done, but if someone did bring food and drink with them, they should be left at the grave, otherwise the deceased will be offended and take revenge.

They leave the cemetery without looking back; any glance back can catch on someone’s soul and drag it along with it into the world of the living.

Why does a girl dream - interpretations of dream books

After burial

Often at a wake they place a photograph of the deceased at the table, and in front of it a glass of vodka or water and a piece of bread. This tradition is very Negative consequences for ignorant people: drinking a drink or eating this bread means death. Few people know that those present at the wake must take vodka and food to the cemetery on the ninth day if they remain after the ceremony. You can’t finish eating and drinking leftovers the next day, otherwise illness will come.

The soul of the deceased remains close to loved ones for forty days, so during this period you cannot do anything to which the deceased had a negative attitude, otherwise he will not be able to calmly leave this world. There's no point in crying a lot either. folk sign indicates that the dead will drown in tears and will not be able to find peace.

If an icon was taken to the cemetery during burial, then it must be taken to the river and set adrift. This will help get rid of the negative energy that has been absorbed into the image. Orthodox people They take the icon to the church so that the soul of the deceased finds peace with it. You cannot carry it home, so as not to bring disaster to your home.

If a person died at home, then his bed must be thrown out, otherwise the spirit of the deceased will appear to the household. The soul of the deceased does not immediately understand that earthly life finished, so she comes to sleep in her place, and if it’s not there, then she quickly gets used to the new position.

The personal belongings of the deceased cannot be thrown away, otherwise he will be offended; they must be distributed to those in need so that the deceased brings joy to the living. Close relatives do not need to wear the clothes of the deceased, so as not to attract the energy of death by birth. If it is not possible to distribute things, then they need to be burned on the fortieth day so that the dead energy goes away with the smoke of the fire.

After the funeral, the following signs are considered especially important:

• If, after the burial, loved ones are forced to go about business, then this promises big problems in financial matters. On the day of the funeral, it is better to refuse all meetings.
• When loved ones forget to put food for the deceased on the funeral table, this is a sign of disaster. Soon troubles will fall on everyone who was present at the commemoration.
• Clinking glasses at a wake is prohibited - this leads to the transfer of misfortune from one to another.
• You cannot get drunk at the funeral table, otherwise the children of the abuser will become alcoholics.
• Everyone sits at the funeral table, but if their number turns out to be thirteen, it means that within a year one of the relatives of the deceased will follow him.
• If someone loses their nerve at the table and starts howling or singing, then troubles and torment await him, but it is impossible to avoid this, since such behavior is unconscious - it is only a direct sign from the world of the dead. You cannot condemn and reproach those who could not restrain themselves and showed inappropriate behavior at the wake, otherwise misfortunes will be attached to the condemner.

Find out why people are buried on the 3rd day after death and what traditions and superstitions are associated with this date. The third day is one of memorial days, like the ninth, fortieth, year and sometimes six months.

In the article:

Why are they buried 3 days after death - funeral traditions

Because of the spiritual relationship between Christ and the human soul, the third day is considered suitable for funerals. It is on the third day after death that all connections between the soul and the body are finally broken. The intangible component of a person goes to the Heavenly Kingdom, accompanied by. The day before and on the day of death, the soul is still in the world of the living. She should not see her funeral - this is a lot of stress for a recently deceased person.

In addition, the third day after death is identified with the Trinity. The third day is always a memorial day. Funeral services are usually held after the burial of a person's body. Tretiny thus combined with the day of the funeral. It is impossible to calculate their advance mathematically by adding three. So, for example, for a person who died on January 18, thirds will occur not on January 21, but on January 20.

The priests claim that it is impossible to bury before 3 days. The soul is still attached to the body, and it will have nowhere to go if it is buried earlier. Only on the third day will she go to see heaven with her angel. The connection between the soul and the dead body cannot be severed, for this there is natural process provided by God. In addition, it is far from immediately possible for her to get used to the absence of a physical body so quickly. Usually three days are enough for this.

Burying later, for example, 4 or 5 days after death, is allowed. The Church does not object to such delays - situations vary. It may be difficult for relatives living far away to get to short period time, it is not always possible to carry out full preparations for the funeral ceremony - there can be many reasons to postpone the funeral for several days. In this case, the wake is also postponed - it is held after the funeral. But prayers and orders for services in church cannot be cancelled.

The third day after death and its meaning in Christianity

The location of the soul of the deceased and its path in the afterlife is known to Orthodox Christians thanks to revelations Saint Macarius of Alexandria. According to him, the state of souls was recorded from the first to the fortieth day after death. The further path of the deceased depends on the verdict that will be rendered at the Heavenly Court. In addition, many believe in reincarnation, but it has nothing in common with the Orthodox tradition.

So, after death, the soul is separated from the body. The day of death is considered the first day after death. Even if a person died a few minutes before midnight, the days after death must be counted from the date on the calendar. On the first and second days, his spirit wanders through the world of the living, accompanied by a guardian angel. He visits his favorite places, looks at dear and close people. According to the Saint, the soul of the deceased also visits the place of death and the coffin with his body.

On the third day after death, the soul ascends to heaven along with its guardian angel. There she sees God for the first time. A visit to his throne to bow will be made three times - on the third, ninth and fortieth days. After the third day, the soul goes to see Paradise. But this is not forever, the Judgment will occur only on the fortieth day. And before him, every soul will see Hell, as well as will be tested, which will indicate his level of spirituality and degree of sinfulness. They are called ordeals of the soul.

Therefore, three days after death are an important period both for the deceased and for his living relatives. At this time, his spirit is preparing for trials, and also looks at Paradise, so that on the ninth day he will again appear to bow to the Lord. What can relatives do to alleviate his plight? Following traditions and customs such as wakes, prayers and church services will help the deceased receive blessings and go to Heaven.

Why exactly the third day? It is known that Jesus Christ resurrected on the third day after the crucifixion. In a similar way, the resurrection of every person occurs, but not in the world of people, but in heaven. The third day after death is called thirds.

According to the book of Enoch, the entrance to Paradise was closed after the fall of Adam and Eve. On guard Garden of Eden there is a cherub angel who has been given instructions from above - not to let anyone through. Everyone, both sinners and righteous, can only go to hell. The only exception to this rule was Enoch. However, the church does not recognize this source, and in the Orthodox tradition it is generally accepted that from at least the third to the ninth day all the deceased are in Paradise.

It is generally accepted that any soul can be prayed for. That is why, even if you are sure that your close person was an avid sinner, we need to continue to pray for his soul, leniency at the Heavenly Court and admission to Paradise.

Three days after death - how to remember on this day

On the third, as well as on the ninth and fortieth days, you should definitely order funeral service. Let a service be held in the church for the repose of the soul of the deceased. This will help her pass all the tests of the afterlife, as well as receive an acquittal at the Heavenly Court. In addition, you should read prayers in church and at home, as well as light candles for the repose of your soul. It is advisable to give alms to the poor in the cemetery and near the church.

The funeral on the third day usually takes place after the funeral - it is on this day that the bodies of the deceased are supposed to be buried.

Everyone who attended the funeral is supposed to be invited. Traditionally, all guests go to commemorate the deceased immediately from the cemetery. If a trip to church is planned after the funeral, then those invited go to the funeral from there.

Before the start of the feast, the prayer “Our Father” is read. Then kutia is served - a traditional ritual dish made from wheat or rice with the addition of honey, sugar or jam. On the third day you can add raisins to kutya. It is served first, and it should be the first course for everyone present. If you don't like kutya, you need to eat at least three spoons. A funeral meal should not be luxurious; gluttony is a great sin. If the relatives of the deceased indulge in sin while remembering him, this will have a bad effect on his afterlife. Fish dishes, as well as compote or jelly, must be present on the table. Must not be alcoholic drinks

, both at a wake and in a cemetery as an offering to the deceased. It is expected to distribute sweets and baked goods to guests, neighbors and strangers

after a funeral or wake, so that they remember the deceased. If there are food and dishes left after the funeral meal, they should be distributed to the poor as alms. In any case, you can’t throw them away; it’s a sin. In general, every person sooner or later has to face the need to bury family and friends. Therefore, anyone will benefit from information on how to properly observe Orthodox traditions

regarding memorial days. After the death of a person, his relatives can only help in this way. Follow traditions, pray, order prayer services - and, most likely, the soul of your relative will go to Heaven. Orthodox funeral is preparation for burial, the burial itself and commemoration of the deceased according to the canons of Russian.

Earthly life in Christianity is understood as a preparation for resurrection and eternal life, in which the soul and body will abide, which after the resurrection will rise incorruptible. Therefore, death is the sleep of the body or the dormition in Church Slavonic. A deceased person is understood as deceased, that is, asleep. The body falls asleep and rests, and the soul goes towards God. Hence the word “deceased” - a person who is at peace after the troubles of earthly life. The body and soul of a person will be resurrected, so it is necessary to provide him with a worthy burial.

Orthodox traditions and customs at funerals

The consequence of this attitude towards the body of the deceased is the Orthodox Christian traditions of burial and commemoration. Short description How an Orthodox funeral is conducted, on what day an Orthodox funeral is held, and what the Orthodox traditions of the funeral rite are are given below.

Rules for Orthodox funerals

Rules Orthodox funeral- this is compliance with the canonical stages Orthodox rite. It is imperative to use ritual items for Orthodox funerals prescribed by the canon.

• ablution
• vestments
• entombment
• cross, shroud, icon
• funeral prayers for the deceased - memorial services
• funeral lithium
• funeral service
• burial
• commemoration (remembrance)

Stages of the Orthodox funeral rite

Ablution

Ablution is a rite of purification. The body of the deceased appears before the Lord pure and immaculate.

vestment

The deceased is dressed in clean clothes, a cross is put on him, covered with a white shroud, sprinkled with holy water, and placed in a coffin, which is placed with the head facing the icons.

Entombment

Close the deceased’s eyes, close his lips, and place his hands with the enclosed icon or cross in a cross shape.

Funeral vigil

Before the body is removed, funeral prayers are performed for the deceased - memorial services. You need to start after placing the clothed body on the table, then in the church. Before removing the body, a funeral litany is read.

Funeral service in the temple

The funeral service ends with a funeral litia.

Burial

When lowered into the ground, the clergyman reads the litiya, then sprinkles earth on the shroud of the deceased, after which a lid is placed on the coffin. If the clergyman is not at the funeral, the ceremony of interment is performed in the church, and the mourners are given earth, which they sprinkle on the body before closing the coffin.

After closing the coffin and lowering it into the ground, the priest pours oil on the coffin, sprinkles it with ashes and grains of wheat, then with earth. Those saying goodbye throw a handful of earth into the grave. Committing the body to the earth symbolizes the hope of resurrection - the body will sprout like a grain thrown into the ground.

Grave cross

A cross is placed at the head of the grave as a confession of faith in the Lord, who on the cross conquered death and called all living to follow his path.

Burial time

3rd day after death.

Wake

This is a ritual of remembering a person and his good deeds, as well as praying for the repose of his soul. Funeral services are held three times: on the day of burial, on the 3rd day after death, on the 9th (nine) and on the 40th (fortie).

Funeral service on the day of burial

It is held immediately after the burial in remembrance of the Resurrection of Christ on the third day after his execution. For the first two days after death, the soul of the deceased remains on earth and carries on a conversation with himself, family and friends.

Everyone who accompanied the deceased to the cemetery is invited to the memorial meal, as well as those who were unable to attend. Before the start of the funeral, a relative of the deceased stands in front of the images with a burning lamp and reads the 17th kathisma of the Psalter, after which everyone reads the prayer “Our Father.” When starting the meal, everyone makes the sign of the cross. During the remembrance they talk about the deceased.

Funeral table menu

The first dish is kutia - a mixture of whole grains of rice (or wheat), raisins and honey. Grains are a symbol of the Resurrection (the body of the deceased will sprout like a grain). Kutya is consecrated in the church at a memorial service. Each participant in the ritual eats this dish. In addition to kutya, they eat pancakes and drink jelly and sati (water with honey). In Lent the memorial meal is lenten, in the meat-eating meal it is lenten.

Devyatiny

These commemorations are sent to the glory of the angels, who ask the Lord to have mercy on the deceased. On the ninth day after repose, the soul of the deceased appears before the Lord for worship, therefore the ritual and prayers of the 9th day help the soul pass this test with dignity. On nine days a memorial service is served, and the relatives of the deceased are invited to the meal. After the second commemoration, from the 9th to the 40th day, the soul of the deceased goes to hell and realizes the sins he has committed.

Forties

Held in honor of the Ascension of the Lord on the 40th day after the Resurrection. On this day, the fate of the deceased is decided, whom the Lord judges according to earthly affairs and the achievements of the soul, after which he assigns him a place according to his merits in anticipation Last Judgment. The deceased is remembered on this day so that his soul appears before the Lord and receives the promised bliss in heaven. The purpose of the fortieth day is to try to atone for the sins of the deceased.

The purpose of the fortieth day is to try to atone for the sins of the deceased.

After the forties, the deceased is commemorated on birthdays, deaths and name days.

The attitude of the Orthodox Church towards cremation

The Orthodox Church has a negative attitude towards cremation, since after the resurrection the body must rise before the incorruptible Lord, and burying the body in the ground expresses for Christians the hope of resurrection. That is why Christian church accepted and preserves the custom of not destroying the body (burning), but burying it in the ground - like a grain is sown in the ground so that it comes to life and sprouts. The church allows cremation only in cases where there is no other option. A blessing for cremation must be obtained from a priest, describing the circumstances of the case. It is not permitted to bring an urn containing ashes to church after cremation for the funeral service. If a person is cremated, it is possible to order only a shortened funeral service for him - an absentee funeral service.

We are so accustomed to the fact that funerals take place on the third day that the slightest change in this custom raises many questions. But research into this issue leads us to unexpected conclusions.

Of course, we do not have church or state regulations that would regulate the order and timing of funerals. There is no such regulation in general Christian institutions. Therefore, we can use the available indications of death in chronicles and other sources. We can glean some information from the memoirs of Western travelers who described the customs of the Muscovites. But even if the day of death is indicated, only in a few cases do we have information about the time of the funeral itself. For the period XI-XVII centuries. there are just over forty of them. The appearance of this date was associated with some delay in the funeral due to the movement of the body, unrest, or other circumstances. Sometimes the date of the funeral was highlighted to add more detail to the narrative. But even from very limited material certain conclusions can be drawn. In most cases, the funeral took place shortly after the time of death, within a day, or the next day after death.

In other cases, the lengthening of time before burial is associated with the movement of the deceased to their burial place. Although other reasons for postponing the funeral are known. In 1473, the funeral of Prince Yuri Vasilyevich was postponed due to the absence of the grand ducal family in Moscow. Yuri Vasilyevich died on September 12, Saturday. Grand Duke returned to Moscow on September 16, Wednesday. On the same day, immediately after the arrival of the Grand Duke, the burial took place. In 1175, the day after the murder, the body of Andrei Bogolyubsky was placed in the church, where it lay for two days and two nights, since the unrest in the city did not allow burial.

“And so he laid him in the porch, covering him with a cloak, and the body lay there for two days and two nights. On the third day, the Kozmodemyansk abbot Arseny came and said: “Although we have been waiting for the senior abbots for a long time, how long will this prince lie like this? Open the church for me, I will sing him and put him in a coffin. And when this turmoil subsides, they will come from Vladimir and transfer the prince there.” And the Bogolyubsky kliroshans came, took his body, brought him into the church and put it in a stone coffin, singing funeral songs over him with Abbot Arseny together.” (The story of the murder of Andrei Bogolyubsky).

In the tradition of the Kiev-Pechersk Monastery, the speedy burial of the deceased was considered important. So Theodosius of Pechersk, early in the morning of May 3, 1074, just before his death, considered it necessary to indicate to the brethren of the monastery: “Bury my body at night,” which was done by the monks. And in the Patericon of this monastery there are several stories about miracles associated with the time of the funeral. The first story talks about Athanasius the Recluse. Athanasius himself was a monk of strict life, but he fell ill and died. His body was washed and prepared for burial, but since he was very poor, the monks neglected to bury him, leaving him to lie in his cell. So the deceased lay there for two days without burial. At night, the abbot of the monastery had a vision - he heard a voice that said: “The man of God Athanasius has been lying unburied for two days, and you don’t care about it.” As soon as morning came, the abbot and his brethren hurried to the deceased to correct their mistake and perform his burial, but suddenly they saw him resurrected.

In another story, about St. Mark the caveman, two cases are told when this holy ascetic did not have time to make a place for the burial of the deceased brethren of the monastery on the day of their death. In the first case, the grave was so narrow and unexpanded that it did not allow either adjusting the clothes of the deceased or pouring oil. Then Mark said to the dead man: “Since this grave is small, brother, sprinkle it yourself: take the oil and pour it on yourself.” The dead man, having risen a little, stretched out his hand, took the oil and poured it in a cross shape on his chest and face, then he gave the vessel and straightened his clothes in front of everyone, lay down and died again. The next time, the same monk Mark, not having time to finish his work, asked the dead man to rise again and live another day.

Then the other brother, after a long illness, died. One of his friends wiped his body with a sponge and went into the cave to see the grave where his friend’s body would lie, and he asked the blessed one about it. The Monk Mark answered him: “Brother, go tell your brother: “Wait until tomorrow, I will dig a grave for you, then you will retire from life.” The brother who came said to him: “Father Marco, I have already wiped his dead body with a sponge, who do you tell me to tell?” Mark said again: “You see, the grave is not finished. And as I command you, go and tell the deceased: “The sinful Marco says to you: brother, live another day, and tomorrow you will go to our beloved Lord. When I have prepared a place to put you, I will send for you.”

The monk’s brother, who came, listened to him, and when he came to the monastery, he found the brethren performing the usual singing over the deceased. He, standing before the dead man, said: “Marco is telling you that the grave has not yet been prepared for you, brother, wait until tomorrow.” Everyone was surprised at these words. But as soon as the brother who came had spoken them in front of everyone, the dead man immediately opened his eyes and his soul returned to him, all that day and all night he stayed with his eyes open, but did not say anything to anyone.

The next day, the brother who went to Mark went to the cave to find out if the place was ready. The blessed one said to him: “Go and tell the deceased: “Marco tells you - leave this temporary life and move on to the eternal, now the place is ready to receive your body, surrender your spirit to God, and your body will be laid here, in the cave, with holy fathers." The brother came and told all this to the man who had come to life, and he, in front of everyone who came to visit him, immediately closed his eyes and gave up his ghost. And they laid him honestly, in the place designated for him in the cave. And everyone marveled at such a miracle: how, at one word of the blessed one, the dead man came to life and, at his command, died again.

We find a similar plot in “The Tale of Princes,” a work of the second half of the 12th century. According to this text, after the death of Prince Davyd Svyatoslavich, he was moved to the Church of Boris and Gleb, built by him. The bishop performed the burial service for the prince, but his coffin was not yet ready. The bishop then said: “The sun is already setting; tomorrow we will bury him.” Hearing these words, those sitting with the prince left and, returning back to the church, told the bishop: “The sun does not set, but stands in one place.” The bishop marveled and praised God. When the stone was leveled and the prince was placed in a coffin, then the sun set.

As we can see, these miracles are performed in order to observe the daily period between death and burial. At the same time, the period itself is perceived as a certain norm, and cases of a long gap between death and funeral are perceived as deviations from this norm. It remains to ask the question on what this norm could be based. It must be said that quick funerals are inherent in various religious traditions. This reflected an archaic fear of death and dead person, as well as basic precautions, especially in hot countries where the body of the deceased quickly began to decompose. But for a Christian there is a model that sets a guideline in the life of a believer - this is the earthly life of Jesus Christ. The death of the Lord on the Cross is a key event in world history and the orientation towards it can be traced in many works, both general Christian and ancient Russian literature. The burial of Christ's body took place in accordance with the requirements of the Jewish religion, on the day of his death, that is, less than 24 hours later. It is possible that it is precisely the orientation towards this significant pattern that causes the perception of a short burial period, within 24 hours, as the norm.
Creator new tradition The three-day period between death and burial is Peter the Great. On January 28, 1704, the emperor issued a decree on the procedure for burying the dead. It said:

“The dead of all ranks, male and female, who are to be buried in the holy churches, should not be buried until three days, but taken out of their houses to the church, and on the third day they should be buried as usual.”

This decree prescribes not to bury the dead before the third day. This requires finding the body of the deceased during the interval before the funeral in the temple. As you can see, Peter I legislatively introduces new normal, departing from the previous custom, burying the body within 24 hours after death. The decree itself does not explain in any way the reasons for its appearance. But we can say that the tsar did not strive to observe the traditions of Russian Orthodoxy. The purpose of this decree was different. It is possible that later stages of lawmaking will help to find out the reasons for this innovation of Peter I. In the “Code on Criminal and Correctional Punishments” - the first criminal code Russian Empire, signed by Emperor Nicholas I in 1845, Article 1081 also introduces a three-day period between death and funeral as mandatory. The text of the article explains the reason for such strict regulation of the funeral period. If a person is buried before three days and: “... it subsequently turns out that the person buried in this way was in a lethargic sleep or in a fit of stupor, mistaken for death, and died from premature burial, then the person guilty of this is sentenced...” and further cited list of punishments.

The explanation for the norm of burial on the third day is the fear of burying a person who is still alive. It seems that it will be fruitful to compare this fact with the observations of the French researcher Philippe Ariès. He notes that already from the second half of the 17th century, and especially in the 18th - first half of the 19th century in Western Europe, minds were seized by, according to his definition, “general panic,” “the fear of being buried alive, of waking up from a long sleep at the bottom of the grave.” Many stories about revived dead people begin to spread in society. These fears have also penetrated into Russia. It is known that the fear of being buried alive haunted N.V. Gogol. “Imaginary death” as a literary motif is used in such widely known and seemingly distant works from our topic as the fairy tale “The Sleeping Princess” by V.A. Zhukovsky, “The Tale of dead princess and seven heroes" A.S. Pushkin and others. Lethargy has become a “common place” of culture.

The above text of the “Code of Punishments” allows us to assert that it was this phobia that swept across Europe that became the reason for the strict regulation of the funeral period in Russian legislation in the mid-19th century. The period of three days goes back, of course, to the above-mentioned Decree of Peter I of January 28, 1704. But it is possible that this decree itself was caused by the same reasons. And the three-day period before the funeral was aimed at clearly seeing that the person had died. By the third day, irreversible changes in the body of the deceased will be clearly visible. And it is precisely this fact that irrefutably indicates actual death. And here the decree of Peter I was almost a century ahead of the appearance of morgues, special storage facilities where the bodies of the deceased remained until decomposition began. Thus, the church performed not only the functions of modern registry offices, but also morgues.

However, to end of the 19th century centuries, fears of imaginary death faded away, but the process of sacralization of the three-day funeral period went so far that it became an generally accepted norm.

Sooner or later, we all face the death of our relative, friend or acquaintance. You can see off someone on their last journey and honor their memory with your presence by knowing how to behave correctly at a funeral.

If you are relatives of the deceased:

This is the most difficult time for the relatives of the deceased. Arranging the funeral falls on your shoulders. Before burial, after receiving the death certificate, the relatives of the deceased must either personally (by telephone) or through a memorial card be invited to the funeral. Relatives of the deceased dress in all black. Shoes must also be black. Women cover their heads with a black scarf. Funeral agency services always tell you where and how to stand, where to go, what to do.

For example, during a funeral ceremony, friends and acquaintances should stand with right side coffin, and relatives on the left. Wreaths are also presented first by relatives, and only then by friends and colleagues. Since a funeral is a difficult event for many, make sure you have handkerchiefs, water and sedatives.

How to behave at a wake after a funeral?

After arriving from the churchyard, according to custom, everyone must wash their hands up to the elbows with soap. Previously, a bucket was taken out specifically for this, and it was not customary to enter a room with unwashed hands, but today rarely anyone honors this tradition; they often wash their hands directly at home. One of the places at the funeral table is reserved for the deceased; his portrait, a plate with his favorite food and cutlery are often placed in this place. The hosts invite guests to the table, saying: “We ask you to share our grief.” First, relatives sit down, then friends, then colleagues and acquaintances. It’s better to prepare a little extra food for a wake, just in case if people you didn’t invite accidentally or unknowingly come to the wake.

The funeral largely depends on whether Orthodox canons will be observed. IN general rules At a wake, swearing, drinking alcohol, and bad memories of the deceased are prohibited. Usually they say toasts without clinking glasses: “The Kingdom of Heaven and eternal rest for so-and-so.” They remember all the good things and share their grief with everyone. The feast should not last long, this is not a holiday. Guests taste the dishes, worship, express deep condolences to their families and leave. You need to remember that drinking at a wake is strictly prohibited and if your family still decides to use alcohol at a wake, then it should be in moderation; according to tradition, it is poured no more than three times.

The first word is usually spoken by the owner of the house, and after the feast is led by the one whom the relatives asked. After the funeral words of the owner of the house, a minute of silence passes. Traditionally, knives and forks are not used (tablespoons and dessert spoons are used instead), bread and pies are broken by hand. At the end of the feast, the crumbs are collected and taken to the grave of the deceased. The remains of the meal are distributed to the guests so that they can treat others and thereby remember again.

Funerals on days 9 and 40 are usually held in a close circle of the closest people. The number of people who come on this day, as a rule, is smaller; the essence of the commemorations on the 9th and 40th days is more reminiscent of a gathering of loved ones and the reading of prayers. The menu remains the same, but you can add a couple of salads for a snack. On an anniversary, the funeral service is usually attended only by relatives who honor traditions and want to remember and pray for dear person. On any of the dates 3, 9, 40 and a year later, relatives distribute sweets (mostly candies) in memory of the deceased.

Usually, Believers at funerals remember the soul of the deceased with their prayers. A wake for believers is more than just a funeral table. The first dish is kutia, which was lit in the church (everyone should taste a spoonful). The meal begins with prayer. The menu is specially Lenten and depends on what days the commemorations take place and whether they fall during fasting periods. Compliance with the norms in the Orthodox funeral meal requires that before the start of the funeral, one of the relatives read the 17th kathisma from the Psalter in front of a lit candle. Immediately before eating, they read “Our Father...” Kutya and funeral pancakes are required on the table.

If you are a guest at a funeral:

Usually the funeral begins either at the morgue or in a temple, where the body is buried (if the deceased was a believer.) If a person adhered to a different faith, then there will be their own rituals and prayers. For example, Orthodox Christians stand around the coffin, reading a prayer with lit candles. If you adhere to a different faith, then, without attracting too much attention, stand next to everyone. In any case, they will tell you on the spot what you need to do, for example, buy a candle in the church.

How to behave in a cemetery?

Next, the procession moves to the cemetery, where they say goodbye to the deceased, place flowers in the coffin one by one and touch the icon in their hands or kiss the forehead. Then the coffin is lowered into the hole and each of those present throws a handful of earth into the grave. After the coffin is buried, flowers are placed on the grave and lighted candles (purchased earlier in the church) are placed. After laying a wreath, it is customary to honor the deceased with silence, linger a little at the coffin, bow to the family and leave. After this, the closest relatives go to the funeral.

It is not necessary to attend all processes, some do not go to the cemetery, some do not go to the wake after the burial. It all depends on how close the deceased was to you. In any case, try not to disappear too abruptly and be sure to say words of condolences before leaving.

You need to dress strictly, no bright or frilly colors. Buy an odd number of flowers (not in bright wrappers) and ask the organizers where to put them. At a funeral, you cannot talk badly about the deceased, laugh loudly or joke. As a rule, you will feel this atmosphere yourself; everyone speaks in a half-whisper. Of course, there are exceptions to the rules, for example, if relatives themselves try to positive emotions cope with grief. In general, behave naturally, no one demands special behavior from you, after all, you came to this ceremony to say goodbye to a person you knew. Bring a handkerchief with you just in case depressant. The phone must be turned off during the procession.

If you see that one of your relatives needs help, then be sure to provide it. Clothes and makeup should not be bright.

You can come to the wake only if you are invited. According to a custom that many people observe, at the end of the wake you may be given a treat to take with you so that others can also remember the deceased; do not refuse this. You can also say pre-prepared farewell speech, but remember that the deceased is either good or nothing. After the burial and wake, you need to choose the right moment to approach the relatives of the deceased and express your condolences. For example, say: I am sincerely sorry for your loss.