Guys don't meet me. Why don't they get to know me? Who will call, with that I will go

The more attractive you are, the less likely it is that a guy will approach you. In fact, it is very difficult to talk to a beauty, because at the sight of her, the guy is simply speechless.

The “School of the Touchy” states: a girl should not take the initiative, because the guy will do everything first. It turned out that there is not an ounce of truth in this statement.

Blame it on TV shows or movies, but the fact that men regularly hit on women is a big misconception. This is a well-established stereotype that it is men who initiate contact, and a girl just needs to demonstrate herself.

Looks but doesn't fit

If men do not flirt with you regularly, then you are probably convinced that you are unattractive. But in fact, most men are shy to approach women who attract them. Many men also do not have the habit of regularly flirting with women. There are many men, handsome and charming, smart and talented, good-natured and cheerful, who never approach strangers in public places.

Suitable to meet, but not those men

Except when they are emboldened by alcohol or the woman in question is the best friend of one of their friends. Guys like that never hit on women. They can "roll up" to many women.

The “hey-baby-can-you-treat” type makes up approximately 1% of the total population. So if a man hits on you at a party and tries his best to charm you, chances are he's the guy you should avoid. And while he is doing this, you are surrounded on all sides by a whole crowd of worthy, interesting men who do not have the courage to approach you. Even if these men believe that courting women is their knightly duty, in this matter they are not particularly strong and less experienced than you.

Why is this happening

Here is one of the cases. You are at a noisy party with your friends. Suddenly you notice the interested look of a handsome man on yourself. You think: “It would be great if he came up to me.” He gives you a long look several times, and after a while leaves the institution. We are sure you have experienced this disappointing feeling more than once.

The answer is simple: he is afraid of embarrassing himself in front of his friends.

Looking like a fool in front of your friends means a lot more to a man than you can imagine. What if he comes up to you, and you give him a turn from the gate? What, he thinks, if your boyfriend will now return from the bar with a martini in his hands? He will only have to do one thing: retreat to his friends, who will make fun of him, lowering his self-esteem and ensuring that he will never start a conversation with a stranger in his life.

These fears are so primal and rooted in the male psyche that even if you give him a signal, allowing him to approach you, he can still misinterpret it.

The risk that you will reject him, and the ridicule that, as he imagines, your girlfriends will then shower him with, is excruciating enough that a man would rather back down than risk the prospect of being rejected. If you see him talking to other women, chances are he is doing it because he feels he has absolutely nothing to lose here.

When it comes to the average man, it's the woman who drives him crazy that scares him the most.

It is sad to realize that all your friends are in relationships with men, and you do not have a boyfriend. And even on the horizon, it does not loom. What is the reason that men do not get acquainted with you? Let's try to understand this in detail.

Appearance

Most guys are not psychics. Seeing the girl, they cannot immediately understand how rich and interesting her inner world is. As a rule, men are more likely to meet beautiful or pretty people. And on a date, it turns out whether the lady is interesting in communication.

So, appearance is one of the key factors that attract young people. If a girl does not take care of herself, few guys will want to approach her to get to know her. If there are any who want to.

You need to pay attention to the following:

1. Condition of nails, hair, skin. If not everything is in order, you need to make an appointment with a specialist, or try to solve the problem at home.
2. Clothing. Although representatives of the strong half of humanity are not usually considered experts in the field of fashion, many guys understand something about “clothes” and pay attention to what a woman is wearing. Even the most "retarded" men can evaluate the ladies' wardrobe, thinking in categories: "like a bag", "sexy", "not so", etc. Perhaps you should reconsider your views on choosing clothes for yourself and go shopping.
3. Figure. In the modern world, "thin people" are certainly more popular. There are also lovers of magnificent ladies, but they are a little less. Probably, young people do not approach you because they consider the figure not very attractive. In this case, you should sign up for a gym, a gym where they do fitness, pump up your ass, drive off excess fat, etc.
4. Emotions and facial expressions. Do you realize with what face you walk down the street? Many girls are either sullen or go with the expression: “dude, you don’t need to get to know me.” This is not a problem of women, but rather a problem of society. People don't know how to smile.

Speaking of appearance, there is also the other side of the coin: girls who are too good also suffer because they cannot make an acquaintance, start a relationship. Guys pay attention to such ladies, but most people have the thought in their heads: “No, she’s too tough for me. How will I entertain and provide for her? Yes, and she herself will refuse me. Surely this girl is looking for a real prince.

It turns out that too attractive women also can not always find gentlemen.

The following conclusion suggests itself: if you want guys to come to meet you, you need to stick to the golden mean: not to be a "messy", and at the same time not to become a "princess". However, it is better to be flawless than none. Sooner or later there will be a successful brave man who is not afraid to approach the beauty.

Character

Men like calm and sweet ladies who can give warmth. Aggressive and quarrelsome - repel. Your problem may lie in the fact that you go out into the street not in the style of a “dreamy young lady”, but in the form of a “wild cat.

But here, too, there is a "reverse side of the coin": too closed and modest girls are also bypassed by guys. Rather, they treat such women indifferently. There is another principle at work here. The logic is this: if a girl is modest, does not start relationships with guys, and still remains a virgin by her 25 years, probably not everything is in order with her. And who needs extra problems?

If everything is clear with appearance: you need to look beautiful, paint your lips with good lipstick and do elegant hairstyles, then with character it is very difficult.

There are men who let them tame the obstinate lady, but they are not interested in the quiet ones. Others want their family to be fine and calm. Ideally, again - the "golden mean" in order to have a better chance of getting to know each other.

Special cases

Men can bypass the girl for other reasons. Why?

• some guys don't approach tall ladies to get acquainted. This is a complex. Not every “small” young man will consider it normal that his life partner is a head, or even two, taller than him. The man is afraid of public opinion. Although there is that minority of guys for whom such couples look pretty;
• if a mother with a child whose father left the family is looking for male attention, she may also have problems. First, not every man will approach a woman walking with her son or daughter. Immediately the thought comes to mind that she is not free. Secondly, many men, in principle, do not want a serious relationship with women "with a trailer." Why approach them if there are plenty of free ones around. Moreover, someone else's child is from the first husband, and problems may arise with the former spouse.

Thus, sometimes the fact that no one ever approaches a girl is also to blame for circumstances, objective factors with which it is difficult to do anything. You shouldn't put up with it. You need to act, fight for your happiness.

Are men to blame too?

Yes, this is partly true. Modern young people, brought up by the Internet, cannot approach girls. Fear, embarrassment - that's what takes possession of them.

The point here is not at all in the appearance or psychology of the lady. Only rare guys are able not only to look at the girls on the street, but also to get to know them. A slightly larger number of men are ready to approach a lady with a friend - with a support group. So, not all reasons lie in the girls.

What to do?

To correct the current situation, you can use different means. But first of all, you need to establish the cause.

Both a friend and a specialist in the field of psychology can help with this. These people are able to look at the situation from the outside, give valuable advice. You can get useful information on the women's and men's forums. Every year and even a month there are questions on the above problem. In addition, they will prompt you for free, however, how professionally is a question.

If the trouble is with appearance, eliminating the flaws is quite simple:

• buy new clothes;
• go to the stylist;
• go in for sports.

And yes, change your lifestyle. Go outside more, go to public places, communicate. Psychological problems can also be solved. For starters, you should:

• learn to maintain a friendly facial expression;
• pass a special test.

When you can’t cope on your own, you can make an appointment with a psychologist, or communicate with a specialist, for example, remotely via video link.

Another option to solve the problem is to finally start getting to know each other and not wait for men to take the initiative.

“She has long everything that should be long: legs, hair, nails. She has rounded everything that should be rounded (out of modesty, we will not list). We can say that everything is fine in her: both her face, and thoughts, and soul and clothes. (With)

There is only one difficulty - she is alone. Men rarely meet her, however, and she practically does not notice them, even those who paid attention to her. She desperately wants to meet a man, but everyone who tries to reach her heart seems too boring, not smart enough, inappropriate for age, status or habits. She thinks about how great it would be to be loved, to be next to a strong man. But over and over again she repels those who could give her happiness. For what seems to her an objective reason - all of them are not what she needs. At some point, she begins to think that either the real, interesting men are gone, busy with someone else. Or something is wrong with her.

Very often, when analyzing such cases, we are faced with one, similar problem. In her past, some time ago, there was a loved one, with whom the relationship ended. As a rule, parting was painful for her and often unexpected. There is another variation of the same case. She is now in an emotional but frustrating relationship that she can't seem to end.

There is such a state - life in the past. On the one hand, the relationship with the ex-man is over, or we have come to the decision that it is time to end it. On the other hand, she is still held by unexperienced emotions of parting, unfinished business on which she has to contact, hopes to return, sweet dreams of revenge. She often remembers him, sometimes with tenderness, sometimes with hatred. Endlessly analyzes the mistakes made, desperately trying to understand why this happened. The ever-present feeling of incompleteness of the situation, waiting for a call or SMS is crazy. She peers into the windows of the same model cars he drives and looks for familiar features in the crowd. Any mention of him is of great interest. He is present in her dreams, which are so vivid that sometimes you don’t want to wake up. He lives in her thoughts and, of course, she misses him. Especially in the evenings, being alone in a cold and unfriendly apartment. She remembers his voice, his hands, his smile, their first meetings. Justifying her inaction in the present, real life, she continues to live with the departed emotions. And she's still scared. It's scary to trust again, to open up.

At the training, we always warn that practically impossible to meet a new interesting man for her, until the door is closed to that same past. Why? Whether she wants it or not, but unconsciously living in those old relationships, she broadcasts to all the other men "Busy!" or "I'm not ready for a new (alternatively serious) relationship!". Real, living men will never compete with that partly invented, long-idealized ex.

There are ways out of any situation. To begin with, you should think about the question "Am I in too much of a hurry to find a new relationship?". After all, experiencing such a state is absolutely normal. And you can designate it as a problem only when you realize that you have lingered in it for too long. It seems to me that some ways to return to a normal state, to become open to new meetings, to begin to perceive the past as a life experience, albeit painful, but necessary for growth, should be discussed separately. And now let's take the first step - think about whether it's really time for a change.

Men will start to get acquainted with you, and right on the street! Become visible to them with these simple exercises!

Becoming noticeable to men means learning to notice them!

If you notice that men look at you, but do not fit, then most likely the reason for this is - your distrust of men. To all men, without exception. Distrust of men is a program that originated in childhood.

If you can create a program of distrust for men, then you can also create a program of trust.

How to make the belief "Men can be trusted" your new program? It's not that hard.

• The first is to want to change your attitude towards men.
• And the second is to perform simple exercises for a month.

How to attract men into your life

1. "Learning to ask"

It's no secret that many women are "sick" with the "I myself" belief. "I myself" is a compensatory program that helps women survive without a man. The woman "I myself" does not know how and does not like to ask. To create a new program you have to learn to enjoy... asking for help. From help from men!

Enjoying the request, you admit that the man is pleasant and useful to you. Which means you need it. Needed not as a porter and helper, but as a man.

What is the essence of the exercise. During the day, you will need to ask for help from at least three men. Ask for a little, easy help. For example, - pass the fare, help you open the door and hold it, give you a hand when leaving public transport. To ask not your own and not a familiar man, but a stranger and a complete stranger!

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Important! Choose as assistants not only young men, but also older men. Practice this exercise for at least a month.

Result. Completion of the task gives a quick effect. You will start to notice men. And they are you too! By the way, you probably know that men love to save someone. Especially young and pretty women, and in cases where the danger is not so great!

2. "Compliments"

If a woman is used to seeing shortcomings and flaws in a man, then men will act unworthily towards her. If a woman finds positive qualities in a man, then he will show exactly them in relation to this particular woman.

What is the essence of the exercise. Compliment men you don't know for a month. Not out loud, but mentally. And make compliments to all the men you meet, and not just the young and handsome). Give compliments in vehicles, shops, passers-by on the street. See at least three positive qualities in a man. For example, "This one is kind. What beautiful hair he has! Calm. And this one is decisive, energetic and cheerful."

Important! At the very beginning, it will be difficult for you to find positive traits and qualities in a completely unfamiliar man. Train and literally in a couple of days you will notice the good at a glance and easily make compliments.

Result. After a while, you will notice that men have ceased to annoy and frighten you. You will want to communicate with them, get to know them better. And men will start to get acquainted with you, and right on the street! You may not need it. But the very fact of trying to get to know you will indicate that you have become much more attractive to men. They will begin to see you as a woman they want to love and take care of.

Becoming noticeable to men means learning to notice them! Become noticeable to them with the help of simple exercises! published .

Olga Fedoseeva

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

anonymously

Good afternoon! I turn to you with a question that has been tormenting me for quite some time. I am a pretty, sweet, slim girl. I go to the gym and dance. But for some reason, the guys are afraid to come up to me and talk, in general, to get to know each other. I’m not gloomy, on the contrary, I’m friendly, I don’t look down on people, as one might think. taste .. Men pay attention to me, make compliments, but it doesn’t go beyond all this. My friend says that men, looking at me, think that I have someone in any way, and if they approach me, they will be refused anyway .. This is the opinion of him and his friends. It's not clear to me. How should a girl then look and behave if she wants to find a boyfriend and build a serious relationship with him? To look around men with an evaluating look or to approach and get acquainted yourself? Hunting is for a man to take the initiative. Basically I attract married men and teenagers aged 18-19. And normal guys aged 24-28 stare and do not dare to approach .. So I live, surrounded by the attention of men, but without a loved one. Please advise me what should I do, maybe I should change something in myself? Thanks in advance.

Good day! “A beautiful woman always evokes the thought that she has someone. As a result, either no one gets it, or someone who is not capable of any thought at all ... ”The fact that a beautiful woman walking down the street with her head held high attracts attention ... this is a fact. Or rather, even objectivity, from which there is no escape. Moreover, it attracts attention, both female and male. True, they are of completely different quality, but this is the second question. After all, whether you like it or not, beauty will still save the world. In addition, a beautiful woman also makes you want to get to know her. But why, in most cases, her beauty still remains out of reach for those whose attention she has attracted? Indeed, by and large, a real man absolutely does not care whether she has anyone or not. And if this is She, then from the presence of this circumstance, the desire to possess her will only grow, and exponentially. His natural instinct is not to go anywhere, and in anticipation of the fight for her, he will become more and more inflamed. BUT... this real man, just like the usual one, needs to make up his mind before approaching her. But what determines his determination? Women ... including those very beautiful ones, are accustomed to blaming men for everything. In particular, in indecision, passivity and even shyness. After all, it is much easier and less burdensome than thinking deeply about ... and what does she carry in herself that causes a stupor even in such decisive men? Beautiful women are used to believing that men owe them a priori. Attention, time, flowers, gifts, care, a fur coat, an apartment, a car, and more. Instead of giving it all to ourselves. And that is why that woman, who has a simpler appearance, has a much simpler attitude to life. Without unnecessary expectations that someone will present her with something on a “silver platter”. Such a saucer has long been in her personal arsenal of handy tools, and is an item made by herself. She does not have big claims to men and does not demand anything from them. She just lives and enjoys life. Herself. From his. And, as often happens, she has much more in life than an ordinary beauty. Therefore, if you see a man nearby who also interested you, make a gesture in his direction, smile, let him know that you are ready. Good luck.