The guy does not confess his feelings. The guy does not confess his love, should I do it first? He pulls his hair

The main reason that people are in no hurry to confess their love, especially when they are not sure of reciprocal feelings, is the fear that the object of adoration may laugh at the confession.

We fear that a failed attempt will "destroy" us. The cause of fears, as a rule, is rooted in childhood or adolescence, when people are more liberated in communication and more freely share their emotions. However, this also makes them the most vulnerable. The teenager confided in someone, but he was not understood, or even worse, fenced off, thus causing psychological trauma. This bitter experience is transferred, alas, into adulthood. People become much more careful in expressing emotions. Most of us prefer not to talk about our feelings, but to keep them in ourselves, - psychologist Polina Bochkareva explains the situation.

Also, if we are talking about men, then their low emotionality may be associated with upbringing. Boys are most often told: “Do not roar”, “Do not complain”, “Be patient”. Representatives of the stronger sex are taught from childhood to suppress emotions. Many learn the lesson so well that in the future they begin to be accused of insensitivity.

Looks will not replace words

On the other hand, closeness and isolation are bad companions of relationships. Sometimes to dot the i. This is especially true of women's confessions. Young ladies often endow men with supernatural powers and believe that men should guess that they are loved "by their smiles and looks." Nothing like that, psychologists say. Representatives of the strong half of humanity can invest in “shooting with their eyes” and treating homemade cakes with a completely different meaning, different from yours. A man may think that you are just flirting with him or that you have decided to feed him in a friendly way. And do not take reciprocal steps towards rapprochement. And the lady perceives this inaction as a sign that the man is not at all interested.

Still, it’s better to take risks and openly declare your feelings in order to clarify the situation, advises Polina Bochkareva.

Of course, it is impossible to talk about some "rules of recognition" in love. However, there are some general tips. For example, when confessing feelings, do not laugh. I understand that this may be a kind of defensive reaction, but this way you ruin the whole thing. The person you are trying to say, perhaps the most important words in life, will simply think that you are joking. Second: try to speak confidentially and softly in order to win over the interlocutor and assure him of the seriousness of his intentions. Thirdly, - advice mainly for girls - do not try to "prepare" a man for a conversation with the phrase "I need to have a serious talk with you." Young people are afraid of these words more than anything in the world, - the psychologist explains.

Just do not offer to remain friends!

It is also necessary to be able to react to recognition correctly. Otherwise, you may hurt the confessor's feelings. Ideally, of course, that you, burning with reciprocal passion, inform your admirer (admirer) about this. Although, psychologists say, this is also not easy to do, because completely different fears “turn on”: “What if we don’t succeed”, “We really suit each other or it just seems”, etc.

If you don’t feel reciprocal feelings, you need to thank the person for the recognition - after all, for modern Homo sapiens he accomplished almost a feat - to admit that you cannot reciprocate him. Rejection is, of course, difficult to survive, but at least it will bring clarity to the situation. A person will not entertain himself with empty hopes, but will try to turn his attention to someone else.

For God's sake, don't suggest "stay friends." This phrase is not only beaten, but because it went, it also offends the feelings of the one who opened his heart to you. According to the psychologist, such an offer is still a refusal, but veiled.

People often resort to this "unique" phrase simply because they don't know how to say "no". This is a problem for many. You have to learn to refuse. So you make life easier for yourself and others.

And finally, the third scenario. You really can’t figure out your feelings and don’t understand how much you like the person who just confessed your love. Then you should ask for time to think. At the same time, it’s better not to delay thinking - a day, a maximum of two, after which the very first to return to the conversation and report your decision. If you do not, then you will actually turn on the "dynamo".

The worst thing is when the question remains open, and then you have to guess and suffer from uncertainty, - emphasizes Polina Bochkareva.

Are you worried that your beloved has not yet told you those very cherished words? But you really want to find out the whole truth about his feelings? Do not be sad, because some people find it difficult to talk about their love, because of the panic fear of being rejected. Perhaps your man has simply never said these words before. Here is a list made up of several signs by which you can confidently judge that he loves you.

1. His kisses are long and passionate

Romantic solitude with endlessly long kisses is liked by many. But if your man is constantly initiating them, and his passion never seems to dry up, it means that he really has deep feelings. This behavior cannot be attributed to banal lust, and it is more than the excitement associated with your presence.

2. His friends love you

He talks so much about you to his friends that they involuntarily begin to trust you. They instantly accept you into their company and feel confident that you can make their friend happy.

3. Your partner tries to be as close to you as possible.

Sometimes people are nervous about someone's presence, and no one likes it if a stranger violates the limits of personal space. All this stops working when we fall in love with someone. From now on, we want to be as close to each other as possible, even if we interact in public.

4. After a kiss, a smile appears on his face

Of course, a kiss can bring a smile without deep feelings between partners. However, if a person is in love, then after a kiss he will simply shine with happiness. Watch him and you will find out for yourself.

5. He is ready to listen to you carefully.

Perhaps your partner is still laconic. But when you talk to him, he doesn't sit there with a neutral expression, just making his presence known. Your partner hungrily on your every word. Your words are really important to him. Sometimes he leans in closer to hear you better, nods in approval or asks again. This behavior is telling.

6. He straightens up at the sight of you.

People slouch their backs so often. As if they are not able to bear the burden of responsibility on their shoulders. But when someone wants to impress the lady of his heart, when he sees her, he will certainly put on airs.

7. He squeezes your hand

Your hand was in his hand. Now you feel how the lover involuntarily squeezed her. Know that his feelings for you are deep.

8. He calls or texts for no reason.

Your partner does not want to leave you even in moments of separation. That is why he always calls you or writes cute SMS messages. This means that he thinks about you during the day and feels comfortable with you in any setting.

9. Your partner is always nearby

What is the difference between casual sexual relationships and true romantic affection? Real feelings are not based on carnal pleasures. People want to spend time with each other and do all sorts of things. Does he enjoy going shopping with you and choosing food for dinner? Do you prefer to cook together? It means he is genuinely interested in you.

10. He often looks into your eyes.

Are you at a bar with friends or are you in different parts of the room where each of you is busy with your own business? At the same time, you often catch a gaze or a fleeting smile on yourself. Eye contact between people indicates a strong emotional attachment. Even if you are doing different things now, he still shows concern for you.

11. He pulls his hair

When people are nervous, they have no control over their fingers and often run them through their hair. In close proximity to each other, it may look too romantic. Or your partner is planning to say something important, but just can not decide on it.

12. He copies your behavior.

Your partner is happy to follow you for lunch or coffee. And when you go for a run in the park, he immediately puts on his sneakers. Displaying your behavior as if in a mirror, he involuntarily demonstrates to you that you have become much closer to each other.

13. He buys you meaningful gifts.

When we mention meaning, we do not mean the high cost of gifts. It's just that your lover is really thinking about things that could improve your existence. For example, he can fill you with socks, knowing how often you rub your feet to calluses.

14. Your partner laughs a lot in your presence.

He so often finds you funny and giggles when you do something stupid. It may seem strange, but the more often he laughs, the more serious his level of interest in you.

15. His touch is spontaneous

When you are in a public place, your partner may suddenly touch you. He can touch your hand, put his arm around your shoulders, or draw a sign on your back with his finger. This casual, spontaneous intimacy shows you that your lover wants to keep in touch with you even outside the bedroom.

How does a man show love? A man confesses his love to a woman. What for? Why?

Men know how to love! And not only in the physical sense, as women think. And they show their love in a special way.

In general, a man's love is easy to read in his eyes. Men's views are divided by "shades". Shades are very subtle "look" differences that only a woman can catch.

How is a man's love manifested? How does a man show his love?

If a man loves, he will do anything for a woman. And even more. For what seems impossible:

1. He will give a thousand roses, sparing no expense. When a man is in love, he does not think about how much money was spent on a surprise or gift for his beloved.
2. He will wait for his beloved, at the entrance, even for twelve hours, despite the cold and bewilderment of the neighbors.
3. He will shower his beloved woman with affectionate "sms". And he will compose and look for them in books, newspapers and the Internet. A message on a mobile phone is not only fashionable, but also very beautiful, pleasant and romantic. But, for a man, it is very difficult that many girls and women “nitpick” about spelling and grammatical errors. Some men in love write messages with dictionaries to impress their beloved with their language knowledge.
4. He will cover with roses (or other flowers) all the steps of the landing, from top to bottom, in the entrance in which his beloved lives. He won't worry about what the people next door will (or might say).
5. If a man loves, he will give gifts to his beloved. He will give both what his beloved likes and what he considers worthy of her. What do men give? Souvenirs, underwear, clothes, cosmetics, jewelry, CDs, sweets, postcards, apartments, cars…. In general, everything that can be given. True, each person has his own financial capabilities and preferences.
6. A man will try to fulfill any and any whim of the one he loves madly. He, to some extent, acts as a goldfish. But desires fulfills not three, but much more.
7. A man takes very nice care of the one that he cares about: he gives his hand when they get off public transport, escorts them to the very door of the apartment (if they do not live together), meets them from work (if possible), helps in absolutely everything.
8. He reverently and sincerely speaks words of love. He quotes poets, writers, philosophers. He confesses his love with lines from poems, words from songs. The main thing is beautiful and without deception.
9. He can do dangerous tricks in front of his beloved. Can write on the pavement or on the wall about how he needs it, and how hard it is for him without her.
10. He will bring her breakfast in bed. And, if she asks, then lunch, and dinner, and dessert.

Why do men confess their love? A man confesses his love to a woman. What for? Why?

Many are interested in the answer to the question: why do men generally confess their love? There can be many reasons. Now we will talk about “causal multiplicity”, answering an exciting question for those for whom it is really exciting:

1. He confesses because he really loves. He wants to talk about his love often and constantly, in order to please his beloved, and to remind him that he needs her. True love can also live in men's hearts. And to think that they are “instinctive”…. More than cruel and dishonest!
2. She confesses because she often talks to him about feelings. In response to the "beauty" of such words, it is somehow uncomfortable to remain silent. She will say: "I love you" and he will answer. He can even repeat the intonation of "words for lovers." And a woman believes in words, because she wants to believe in them and not doubt.
3. He confesses because he is afraid of losing. Perhaps she is just nice to him, he respects her, but speaks of love in order to keep her. He knows how women love beautiful words. But after all, not every woman can be “buyed” with words of love. And not everyone believes confessions, by the way.
4. He confesses because he wants to sleep with her. He considers a declaration of love to be a weapon for "conquering" a woman in an intimate way. And many ladies are "smitten on the spot" with such weapons. Naivete…..
5. He admits because he wants to “recapture” a woman from her husband or from a man. He met a girl, she liked him and turned out to be married. So he got angry: how is it that she is not mine? adventurous move. It is not known how the woman will react to the confession.
6. He admits because he is a romantic. And the words of love are attributes of romance. He is a "collector" of something that is somehow connected with romance.
7. Confesses, using confession as a synonym for "how beautiful you are" or something like that. After all, "I love you" and various compliments "light" the lights in the eyes of any girl.
8. He confesses because he wants to thank and say, in these words, about how he appreciates her and how he values ​​her. And the woman melts like snow from the beauty of words.
9. She confesses because she thinks that she has lost all feelings for him. Check: if she answers “and I love you”, then the feelings remained and did not go out.

A man confesses his love to a woman. Women, to the words of love, are taken very seriously: "he confessed his love to me, which means that I have every chance to become his wife." All women are very eager to get married. If a woman is not married at the age of thirty, this is bad. Such stereotypes. And the men... They are not in a hurry to get married. They would take a walk, deal with a career. Living with your beloved, without a stamp in your passport - it's more convenient, or something.

And women, such conveniences, are satisfied for the time being - for the time being. If a man, being next to a woman, does not make a marriage proposal for a very long time, the woman gets the impression that he does not love her, but simply uses her.

By the way, in some ways the woman is right. A man who loves, and he himself does not want to delay the wedding. He will say: "Let's sign at least tomorrow." One caveat: men do not really like all these wedding celebrations and festivities. It's more like what a woman needs.

But, if a man is in love, he will make any concessions related to the wedding and wedding preparations. And he will spare no money for this event.

The same applies to the honeymoon trip. A man will give the right to choose to his beloved in order to make her even happier.

To be continued:

Every girl dreams that her lover will say three cherished words: "I love you." In some cases, this moment comes on time, and the missus confesses his feelings. But what if a man shows signs of attention, but is in no hurry to talk about love? Let's take a look at the current situation together.

Reasons for your Romeo's silence

If you believe in the theory of the American psychologist John Gray, which he described in his book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”, then the strong half of humanity for fragile ladies is a closed puzzle book. Men and women are so different and distant that they can be considered people from different planets. But even aliens can make contact, using love and mutual understanding as leverage.

According to Gray, women are more emotional, sensitive and sociable. It is important for them to talk about everything that happens in life. They expect the same from men. But the representatives of the stronger sex are more restrained, rational, firm and silent. Even if they love, it is difficult for them to express this feeling in words. Why, in a harmoniously developing relationship, some men do not talk about love? Consider a number of factors that influence their behavior.

• The man believes that words do not make sense, actions are more important.
• He is stopped by the negative experience of previous relationships.
• He has not yet figured out his feelings and cannot say one hundred percent that he loves you.
• From childhood, he was taught to restrain everything inside himself (supposedly, the manifestation of feelings is a female prerogative, and men do not cry!).

How to push a man to confess his love

What to do if a man does not say the long-awaited three words? The main thing is not to lose self-control and not to fall into depression. A common female mistake is psychological pressure on her partner and unreasonable tantrums. In this case, the man will be shocked by the new appearance of his beloved and back down.

If you really love this person, then you should be patient. Sooner or later, he will confess his feelings and explain his silence.

And if time passes, and the young man still plays silent? Don't rush to end the relationship. There are several ways to open the door to the soul of a shy boyfriend:

1. Some women naively assume that their lovers know what they think and what they want. But men can't read minds! Sometimes you need to talk about your desires out loud. For example, if you want your young man to kiss you when you meet, then tell him about it. Surely he will take this into account, and during the next date he will certainly kiss you. If you want to hear words of love, then confess your feelings. Perhaps, after your words, he will dare and reciprocate.
2. There is also a completely opposite approach - not to reveal your feelings and remain a tender and fragile woman. Do not take on the burden of responsibility, let him feel like a real man. After all, in the end, he is able to make independent decisions and bear responsibility for them. Your task is to support your loved one in a difficult situation. If you succeed, he will soon appreciate and love you.
3. Remain a mystery to him, do not frighten him with importunity. You should not call him twenty times a day and ask for a date. A man should get bored himself and take the initiative.

Love confessions in works of art, whether it be a film or a book, are spoken by men every hour. In real life, from some representatives of the strong half of humanity, you won’t wait for months for “I love you”, “You are my everything”, “For your sake I am ready for anything”, etc. Why is this happening? Why do men so often hide their true feelings, although they know that "a woman loves with her ears."

Why is a man silent about feelings

There can actually be a great many reasons, because it all depends on the person himself, his character, upbringing, field of activity, or simply the banal courage to open up to his other half. And yet, we have tried to summarize and highlight some of the reasons why you may be silent about your feelings.

Why does a man not express his feelings

1. The lack of a man's desire, so to speak, to give a woman a weapon against himself. Many men are firmly convinced that today you will tell about your feelings, and tomorrow you can hear requests as proof of love - “If you love, buy something”, “If you adore me, let's go to our mother” (I mean my mother-in-law ) etc. Men are simply afraid that a woman will start them because of their frankness.

2. The next reason - fear, fear - is very similar to the first. Some representatives of the stronger sex are afraid that, having heard from them a confession of their feelings, a woman will perceive this as a signal to constantly possess this man, they are afraid of the requirements to marry, take on most of the household duties, and so on. A man is afraid to be completely dependent.

3. There is no or was not a positive example. In your opinion, how often did a man who was born in the middle of the 20th century tell a woman about his feelings? It would probably be nice if once every six months or on holidays. So it turns out that the current generation of men, some of whom grew up and were brought up in such a somewhat secretive atmosphere, follow the example of their father on a subconscious level - they will be silent about their feelings to the last.

4. Solidarity between men (more about). Most of them are sure that they should tell women about their feelings as little as possible, including the reasons outlined above. It is because of this solidarity that they can "be silent for years." This is a kind of recognition of oneself as weak-willed, incapable of controlling oneself, some of them believe.

5. And, of course, silence is not complete without such a reason as bitter experience (although both men and women get it). Maybe once, your man has already said these cherished three words - I love you - and there was no one happier than him in the world. But then, perhaps, something did not work out, it went wrong, an unpleasant act occurred on the female side (deceit, etc.) and an unpleasant aftertaste, resentment or even hatred remained, which a man can now associate just with love confessions. And, of course, no one else wants to make the same mistake.

What to do if a man is silent about his feelings

And yet, if your man is silent about his feelings, and you are still eager to find out what is in his soul, what he feels towards you, just try to analyze all his actions, actions, attitude towards you. Do not put pressure on him - you may get the opposite effect.

Men never do anything just like that. And who is in love is ready for any sacrifice.

Look "from the outside" - does he care about you? Are you ready (at least sometimes) to sacrifice your favorite pastime for the sake of spending time with you? Can you rely on him, i.e. at any moment he will help and always substitute his man's shoulder. Assess actions. It is often much easier for a man who loves and is not recognized to express his feelings in actions and deeds than in words.

Therefore, if your man is always there when you need his help, sacrifices himself for the sake of your relationship, gives everything and does not require anything in return, you can be sure that he loves you and will definitely admit it. Even the most secretive.