Celebrate 1 year after death. Is it possible to remember before the date of death: how to remember and what to do

Pwhy do people die?

- “God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for existence” (Wis. 1:13-14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wis. 1:15-16).

To understand the issue of mortality, it is necessary to distinguish between spiritual and physical death. Spiritual death is the separation of the soul from God, Who for the soul is the Source of eternal joyful existence. This death is the most terrible consequence of the Fall of man. A person gets rid of it in Baptism.

Although physical death after Baptism remains in a person, it takes on a different meaning. From punishment, it becomes the door to heaven (for people who were not only baptized, but also lived in a manner pleasing to God) and it is already called the “dormition.”

What happens to the soul after death?

According to Church Tradition, based on the words of Christ, the souls of the righteous are carried by angels to the threshold of paradise, where they remain until the Last Judgment, expecting eternal bliss: “The beggar died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom” (Luke 16:22). The souls of sinners fall into the hands of demons and are “in hell, in torment” (see Luke 16:23). The final division into the saved and the condemned will occur at the Last Judgment, when “many of those sleeping in the dust of the earth will awaken, some to eternal life, others to eternal reproach and shame” (Dan. 12:2). In the parable of the Last Judgment, Christ speaks in detail about the fact that sinners who did not do deeds of mercy will be condemned, and the righteous who did such deeds will be justified: “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matthew 25). :46).

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?

Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of a deceased person remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good deeds and evil. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, the church commemoration of the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God, is timely.

Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she has been awarded due to her deeds. That's why it's so timely church prayers and commemorations on this day. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, the Church celebrates memorial services and litias.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased. The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for the preparation and acceptance of a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.

On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church, submitting notes for commemoration at the Liturgy and memorial service.

What soul does not go through ordeals after death?

From Sacred Tradition it is known that even Mother of God Having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrating herself before the Lord, she humbly begged Him, so that, at the hour of the departure of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine embrace. Moreover, it is more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them, and to do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13-14).

What concept of heaven should you have?

Heaven is not so much a place as it is a state of mind; just as hell is suffering stemming from the inability to love and non-participation in the Divine light, so heaven is the bliss of the soul stemming from the excess of love and light, to which the one who has united with Christ fully and completely participates. This is not contradicted by the fact that heaven is described as a place with various “abodes” and “chambers”; all descriptions of paradise are only attempts to express in human language that which is inexpressible and surpasses the human mind.

In the Bible, "paradise" is the garden where God placed man; The same word in the ancient church tradition was used to describe the future bliss of people redeemed and saved by Christ. It is also called the “Kingdom of Heaven,” “the life of the age to come,” “the eighth day,” “the new heaven,” “the heavenly Jerusalem.” The Holy Apostle John the Theologian says: “I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I, John, saw the holy city Jerusalem, new, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven, saying: Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them; they will be His people, and God Himself with them will be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death; There will be no more crying, no crying, no pain, for the former things have passed away. And He who sat on the throne said: Behold, I am creating all things new... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; to the thirsty I will give freely from the fountain of living water... And the angel took me up in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, holy Jerusalem, which came down from heaven from God. It has the glory of God... But I did not see a temple in it, for the Lord God Almighty is its temple, and the Lamb. And the city has no need of either the sun or the moon for its illumination; for the glory of God has illuminated it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The saved nations will walk in its light...And nothing unclean will enter into it, nor anyone who practices abomination and lies, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Rev. 21:1-6,10,22-24,27 ). This is the earliest description of heaven in Christian literature.

When reading descriptions of paradise found in theological literature, it is necessary to keep in mind that many Church Fathers talk about the paradise that they saw, into which they were caught up by the power of the Holy Spirit. In all descriptions of paradise, it is emphasized that earthly words can only to a small extent depict heavenly beauty, since it is “inexpressible” and surpasses human comprehension. It also speaks of the “many mansions” of paradise (John 14:2), that is, of different degrees of bliss. “God will honor some with great honors, others with less,” says St. Basil the Great, “because “star differs from star in glory” (1 Cor. 15:41). And since the Father “has many mansions,” He will rest some in a more excellent and higher state, and others in a lower state.” However, for everyone, his “abode” will be the highest fullness of bliss available to him - in accordance with how close he is to God in earthly life. “All the saints who are in paradise will see and know one another, and Christ will see and fill everyone,” says St. Simeon the New Theologian.

What concept should you have of hell?

There is no person deprived of the love of God, and there is no place that is not involved in this love; however, everyone who has made a choice in favor of evil voluntarily deprives himself of God's mercy. Love, which for the righteous in heaven is a source of bliss and consolation, for sinners in hell becomes a source of torment, since they recognize themselves as not participating in love. According to Saint Isaac, “the torment of Gehenna is repentance.”

According to the teachings of St. Simeon the New Theologian, main reason the torment of a person in hell is an acute feeling of separation from God: “None of the people who believe in You, Master,” writes the Monk Simeon, “none of those who were baptized in Your name will not endure this great and terrible burden of separation from You, Merciful One, because this is a terrible sorrow, unbearable, terrible and eternal sadness.” If on earth, says the Monk Simeon, those who are not involved in God have bodily pleasures, then there, outside the body, they will experience one incessant torment. And all the images of hellish torment that exist in world literature - fire, cold, thirst, red-hot ovens, lakes of fire, etc. - are only symbols of suffering, which comes from the fact that a person feels not involved in God.

For Orthodox Christian the thought of hell and eternal torment is inextricably linked with the mystery that is revealed in the services of Holy Week and Easter - the mystery of Christ's descent into hell and the deliverance of those there from the dominion of evil and death. The Church believes that after His death, Christ descended into the abysses of hell in order to abolish hell and death, to destroy the terrible kingdom of the devil. Just as by entering the waters of the Jordan at the moment of His Baptism, Christ sanctifies these waters, filled with human sin, so by descending into hell, He illuminates it with the light of His presence to the last depths and limits, so that hell can no longer tolerate the power of God and perishes. Saint John Chrysostom in the Easter Catechetical Sermon says: “Hell was upset when it met You; he was grieved because he was abolished; he was upset because he was ridiculed; he was grieved because he was killed; I was upset because I was deposed.” This does not mean that hell no longer exists at all after the Resurrection of Christ: it exists, but the death sentence has already been passed on it.

Every Sunday, Orthodox Christians hear hymns dedicated to Christ’s victory over death: “The council of angels was surprised, in vain you were counted among the dead, but the mortal fortress, O Savior, was destroyed... and freed all from hell” (from hell, having freed everyone). Deliverance from hell, however, should not be understood as some kind of magical action performed by Christ contrary to the will of man: for someone who consciously rejects Christ and eternal life, hell continues to exist as suffering and the torment of abandonment by God.

How to cope with grief when a loved one dies?

The grief of separation from the deceased can be satisfied only by prayer for him. Christianity does not perceive death as the end. Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it. Man was created for eternity; in paradise he fed from the “tree of life” (Gen. 2:9) and was immortal. But after the Fall, the path to the tree of life was blocked and man became mortal and corruptible.

But life does not end with death, the death of the body is not the death of the soul, the soul is immortal. Therefore, it is necessary to see off the soul of the deceased with prayer. “Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not bring him any benefit, but will harm yourself... With the repose of the deceased, soothe his memory, and take comfort in him after the outcome of his soul” (Sir. 38:20-21,23).

What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, you are tormented by your conscience about the wrong attitude towards him during life?

The voice of conscience denouncing guilt subsides and ceases after sincere heartfelt repentance and confession to God to the priest of one’s sinfulness towards the deceased. It is important to remember that with God everyone is alive and the commandment of love also applies to the dead. The deceased are in great need of the prayerful help of the living and alms given for them. The one who loves will pray, give alms, submit church notes for the repose of the departed, strive to live in a manner pleasing to God, so that God will show His mercy for them.

If you constantly remain in active concern for others and do good to them, then not only peace will be established in your soul, but deep satisfaction and joy.

What to do if you dream of a dead person?

You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, do not forget that forever living soul The deceased feels a great need for constant prayer for her, because she herself can no longer do good deeds with which she would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer in church and at home for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

How many days do people mourn for the deceased?

There is a tradition of mourning for forty days for a deceased loved one. According to the Tradition of the Church, on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.

Who is the newly deceased and ever-memorable?

In church tradition, a deceased person is called newly deceased within forty days after death. The day of death is considered first, even if death occurred a few minutes before midnight. On the 40th day of the Church, God (at the private judgment of the soul) determines its afterlife fate until the general Last Judgment prophetically promised by the Savior (see Matt. 25:31-46).

A person is usually called eternally remembered after forty days after his death. Ever-memorable - the word “ever-memorable” means always. And the ever-memorable one is always remembered, that is, the one for whom they always remember and pray. In funeral notes, they sometimes write “of everlasting memory” before the name when the next anniversary of the death of the deceased(s) is celebrated.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?

The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased, or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?

After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the church.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?

If he was baptized in Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the temple and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies, memorial services and pray for him at home.

How to help the deceased?

It is possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you perform frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good to work for the Church in memory of the deceased, for example, in a monastery.

Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?

Prayer for those who have passed from temporary life to eternal life is ancient tradition Church, sanctified by centuries. Leaving the body, a person leaves the visible world, but he does not leave the Church, but remains its member, and it is the duty of those remaining on earth to pray for him. The Church believes that prayer eases a person’s posthumous fate. While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short earthly life was lived. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.

Is it possible to cremate the deceased?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults and spread as the norm in a secular (non-religious) society during the Soviet period. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased, at the slightest opportunity to avoid cremation, should prefer burying the deceased in the ground. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications of Christian teaching on another way of burying bodies - this is burying them in the ground (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59-60). This method of burial, accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and in worldly terms, the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to anti- Christian teaching about non-existence.

The Gospel describes the burial order of the Lord Jesus Christ, which consisted of washing His Most Pure Body, dressing in special funeral clothes and placing in the grave (Matthew 27:59-60; Mark 15:46; 16:1; Luke 23:53 ; 24:1; John 19:39-42). The same actions are supposed to be performed on deceased Christians in the present time.

Cremation may be permissible in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.

Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.

What is eve?

Kanun (or kanunnik) is a special table of square or rectangular shape, on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles are arranged. Before the eve there are funeral services. Here you can light candles and put food to commemorate the dead.

Why do you need to bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various foods to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the deceased at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days universal remembrance all Christians who have died since the ages for the same purpose - to remember the departed.

What foods can you put on the eve?

The products can be anything. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.

Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?

Prayers at the Liturgy have special power. The Church prays for all the departed, including those in hell. One of the kneeling prayers read on the feast of Pentecost contains a petition “for those kept in hell” and for the Lord to rest them “in a brighter place.” The Church believes that through the prayers of the living, God can alleviate the afterlife fate of the dead, saving them from torment and worthy of salvation with the saints.

Therefore, in the coming days after his death, it is necessary to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the newly deceased. This is a feat of love from the entirety of the Orthodox Church in the person of the priest who celebrates the Liturgy for the sake of the people commemorated at the proskomedia. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What is Parents' Saturday?

On certain Saturdays of the year, the Church commemorates all previously deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. On the morning of Parents' Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all previously deceased Christians are remembered. On the eve of parental Saturday, on Friday evening, parastas is served (translated from Greek as “presence”, “intercession”, “intercession”) - the continuation of the great requiem for all deceased Orthodox Christians.

When are Parents' Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a permanent date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

Yes, you can and should pray for the repose of the deceased even after parental Saturdays. This is the duty of the living to the dead and an expression of love for them. The deceased themselves can no longer help themselves, they cannot bear the fruits of repentance or give alms. This is evidenced by the Gospel parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). Death is not a departure into oblivion, but the continuation of the existence of the soul in eternity, with all its characteristics, weaknesses and passions. Therefore, the deceased (except for the saints glorified by the Church) need prayerful commemoration.

Saturdays (except for Great Saturday, Saturday on Bright Week and Saturdays coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays), in church calendar By tradition, they are considered days of special remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed and submit notes in the church on any day of the year, even when, according to the charter of the Church, no memorial services are served; in this case, the names of the deceased are remembered at the altar.

What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.

Special commemoration of all those who died during the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945. established by the Church on May 9. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist on September 11, according to the new style.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?

The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, relatives close to him pray for him, thereby expressing the belief that the day of a person’s death is not a day of destruction, but of a new birth for eternal life; the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to other conditions of life, where there is no longer any place for earthly illnesses, sorrows and sighs.

On this day it is good to visit the cemetery, but first you should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia), at a memorial service and, if possible, pray during the service.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?

Sunday and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days commemoration of the deceased - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of death and namesake days of the deceased.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of lithium yourself by first purchasing the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?

Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything at the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

What should you eat at a “wake”?

According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. Also traditionally they eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased.

Unfortunately, the bad custom of remembering the deceased with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. This is wrong, since the newly departed soul these days craves special fervent prayer for her to God and certainly not drinking wine.

Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on a grave cross?

A cemetery is a special place where the bodies of those who have passed on to another life are buried. Visible evidence of this is the tombstone cross, which is erected as a sign of the redemptive victory of the Lord Jesus Christ over death. Just as the Savior of the world was resurrected, having accepted death for people on the cross, so all the dead will be resurrected physically. People come to the cemetery to pray for them in this place of rest for the dead. A photograph on a grave cross often encourages reminiscence rather than prayer.

With the adoption of Christianity in Rus', the deceased were placed either in stone sarcophagi, with a cross depicted on the lid, or in the ground. A cross was placed on the grave. After 1917, when the destruction of Orthodox traditions became systematic, columns with photographs began to be placed on graves instead of crosses. Sometimes monuments were erected and a portrait of the deceased was attached to them. After the war, monuments with a star and a photograph began to predominate as a headstone. In the last decade and a half, crosses have increasingly begun to appear in cemeteries. The practice of placing photographs on crosses has been preserved from past Soviet decades.

Is it possible to take a dog with you when visiting a cemetery?

Of course, you shouldn’t take your dog to the cemetery for walking. But if necessary, for example, a guide dog for a blind person or for the purpose of protection when visiting a remote cemetery, you can take it with you. The dog should not be allowed to run over the graves.

If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter Canon is read. Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.

Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?

Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins, since babies do not consciously commit sins, but they ask the Lord to vouchsafe them the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then the funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the one received after funeral service in absentia Sprinkle the earth in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery.

The tradition of performing funeral services in absentia appeared in the 20th century in Russia in connection with a large number those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unburied deceased?

Funeral services can be ordered if the deceased was baptized Orthodox person and not one of the suicides. The Church does not commemorate the unbaptized and suicides.

If it becomes known that the buried person was not buried according to the Orthodox rite, then he must be buried in absentia. During the funeral service, unlike the requiem service, the priest reads special prayer about the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.

It is important not only to “order” a memorial service and funeral service, but for the relatives and friends of the deceased to take part in them prayerfully.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service for a suicide and pray for his repose at home and in church?

In exceptional cases, after consideration of all the circumstances of suicide by the ruling bishop of the diocese, an absentee funeral service may be blessed. To do this, relevant documents and a written petition are submitted to the ruling bishop, where, with special responsibility for one’s words, all known circumstances and reasons for suicide are indicated. All cases are considered individually. When the bishop allows the funeral service in absentia, the temple prayer for repose becomes possible.

In all cases, for the prayerful consolation of the relatives and friends of a person who has committed suicide, a special prayer rite has been developed, which can be performed whenever the relatives of a person who has committed suicide turn to the priest for consolation in the grief that has befallen them.

In addition to performing this rite, relatives and friends can, with the blessing of the priest, read prayer at home venerable elder Leo of Optina: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done” and give alms.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa? What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?

No, that's not true. If a person, out of ignorance, submitted notes to commemorate suicides (the funeral service of which was not blessed by the ruling bishop), then he must repent of this in confession and not do this again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?

Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled taking into account the fact that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church.

Is it possible to submit notes in church about the remembrance of the deceased who have not been baptized?

Liturgical prayer is prayer for the children of the Church. In the Orthodox Church, it is not customary to commemorate unbaptized Christians, as well as non-Orthodox Christians, at proskomedia (the preparatory part of the Liturgy). This, however, does not mean that you cannot pray for them at all. Cell (home) prayer for such deceased is possible. Christians believe that prayer can provide great help to the dead. True Orthodoxy breathes the spirit of love, mercy and condescension towards all people, including those outside the Orthodox Church.

The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him.

For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home and read the canon to the holy martyr Uar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Uar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.

They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is this true?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the way of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5). Anyone who lived piously, did good deeds, wore a cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God, he can be granted a blessed life in eternity, regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, can it be said that he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven?

If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord ends the earthly life of each person in due time, providentially caring for each soul.

“Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).

Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?

There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant life issues one must consult a priest.

Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased prepare and partake of the Holy Communion Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, they will forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.

Is it necessary to cover the mirror if one of your relatives dies?

Hanging mirrors in the house is a superstition, and has nothing to do with church traditions of burying the dead. Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred partly stems from the belief that whoever sees his own reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. Whether a mirror is hung or not has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.

There is a belief that until the fortieth day you cannot give away anything belonging to the deceased. Is this true?

You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. Therefore, it is necessary to intercede for the soul of the deceased immediately after his death until the fortieth day and after it: pray and perform acts of mercy, distribute the things of the deceased, donate to the monastery, to the church. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased through intense prayer for him and alms.

Funeral service for 1 year after death, rules for holding

Let us use the numberological (numerical) method to consider an event that is associated with the death of a human being, i.e. state of death. Staying in the invisible world takes some time, which in the conventional language of earthlings of the visible world is designated as forty days. This number 40 has become an important symbolic number for us; we attribute it to the Soul of a person who continues his existence in another reality.

Let us pay attention to the actions we perform in memory of departed loved ones, friends, acquaintances, called commemorations.

What we do.

Returning from the cemetery (or crematorium), we gather together to honor the memory of the deceased person on this day.

This is the first wake.

On the ninth day we gather for the second time and this is already the second wake.

The third commemoration takes place on the fortieth day.

Using numberological language (the method of cognition), we will try to explain the correctness of our actions during the death of a person close to us, an acquaintance or anyone else.

Numberology is a science that explains the meaning of current events. It indicates accuracy, identifying errors, misconceptions (which stem from ignorance) in something. This precision allows you to correctly perform any actions consistent with Nature, so as not to deviate from harmony.

Explanation.

Death is a state of transition (from life to another state of being), which takes a certain period of time. Using the method of analogy, we can find the likeness of death in our lives. The time of death will fall on the night part of the day, when the past Day “dies” (morning, afternoon, and evening - the trinity). Night for us will be a time of transition, and sleep will be death.

We can take the morning as the beginning of our life if we consider our whole life in this way; the day is our whole life until old age, and the evening is our old age and the end of life. Night is our death and departure from life.

Numbering the parts of the day in order, we get: 1 – morning, 2 – day, 3 – evening, 4 – night. The number 4 will turn out to be transitional: from one day to another, and therefore from one life to another.

Our dreams, which are a symbol of death, will turn out to be a “wake” for us, because... Most often in dreams, events of earthly life are remembered, and this is morning, afternoon and evening. These commemorations take place in a state of transition from one day to another, which is night.

The transition has received its own symbol - this is the number 4. Thus, what precedes the transition, i.e. old age, end, evening - will be symbolized by the number 3.

A deceased person passes his mortal path in a world invisible to us, but not to him, also from 1 to 4. And there is the beginning of the path, like morning, the continuation of the path is day and its end is evening. Next transition is night.

About the Human Body.

On such “transition nights” we can remember people who have passed away from our lives.

In order to understand what these periods are, you need to know the structure of the human being. In this world where we live, we have a Body that is visible to everyone. But it's only quality, reflecting the invisible quantity. This quantity- There are three invisible bodies: the etheric - vital body, the astral - sensitive body and the mental - thinking body. Together with the physical visible Body, all bodies constitute one human being. (1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = 10, and 10 = 1 + 0 = 1 – one).

With the end of life (and the end is the number 3), the deceased begins to say goodbye to his Body of flesh, which has four bodies: three invisible quantitative and one visible quality(begins to “say goodbye” to each body in turn).

The first body that the deceased leaves is physical, qualitatively-visible Body. Because it quality, then it is not divided into parts and is not measured separately. Living parts of the Day (morning, afternoon and evening), the Body remains one, but the fourth in a row, and three are counted quantitative bodies of the invisible world.

Likewise, the time of night, being the fourth part, is the same for dreams, where everything happens in turn: morning, day, and evening.

This means: that three bodies are three units (1 1 1), which are reflected in the four by their trinity. In order to imagine this, we need to imagine a triangle (half square), which is reflected by exactly the same triangle, while we already receive a new quality in the form of a square, and not two triangles.

The number four - 4 differs from the number three - 3 by one unit, which is added as the “unity” of two triangles. (Two triangles connected are a square, or a quadrilateral at different angles of the triangles.)

At the moment of death, the deceased, leaving the Body, first loses quality physical Body (square) and functions (triangle that reflected another triangle). Life begins without the Body, but it is already short-lived, because... without visible body quality cannot exist quantitative body (consisting of three). This life is determined by the number 3, because the trinity of things in the world is the basis, the first brick of all life (a triangle is the first closed figure after a line and an angle, which are considered numbers 1 and 2).

In Numerology, all the components of something under consideration are connected by a “plus” sign (+), and the function of the parts (action, work, force...) that produces any result is the “multiplication” sign (x). These signs will have to be used to explain what happens after the deceased leaves the physical Body.

What's happening.

Once in the etheric world - the first in a row, a person begins to perceive the world with etheric vision. Unlike quality physical Body, where vision is not high quality, but changes to the opposite – quantitative, in turn, this body gives an advantage quality perception: all earthly life is “in the palm of your hand” here, i.e. is viewed in its entirety. On Earth, it was lived in time, where events replaced one another (in parts).

According to earthly time, this happens for three days (three days). On the fourth day (transition night), the deceased leaves the first etheric body, remaining in the second body - the astral. During this part of the journey there is sensory perception(shame, pride, torment, conscience, joy, admiration, grief, peace, etc. - all this arises from the contemplation of a previously past life; it is like a Judgment, where good and bad deeds are distinguished). This perception occurs for nine days (like 3 x 3, i.e. double three, since the world and the body are second in a row).

What we don’t do, but how we should do it.

Thus, we can perform a wake for the deceased for the first time on the day of the funeral, i.e. on the fourth day (4 – transition).

The second time we will add (+) stay in two worlds (the first etheric - 3 days and the second astral - 9 days), thereby obtaining the time of the second astral death, i.e. 3 + 9 = 12 (12 = 1 + 2 = 3). And not on the ninth day from the death of the physical body, but (after nine) - already on the thirteenth, we can remember the departed person, because the life limit of the astral body is 12 days (3 + 9), and the transition will occur in the next earthly time, i.e. on the day of four (13 = 1 + 3 = 4).

The third body still remains to live, and this life takes the time of three triplets (3 x 3 x 3) of three worlds, i.e. twenty-seven days (27).

At this time, a person understands with his mental body (body of thought) everything that concerns life on Earth. He understands why he incarnated in the first place, and is disappointed if he did not remember his cosmic task, having lived his life only satisfying his Body (with sex, money, food, work, raising other people or children), without working on himself, on his Soul.

The limit of stay in the mental world, the third, is 27 days, and in sum with other worlds (adding parts - the “+” sign) the number 39 = 3 + 9 + 27 is obtained (and the number 39 is 3 + 9 = 12 = 3). And on the next earthly day there will be a transition to another reality, where the human Soul resides, freed from four bodies. This is the third four – the fortieth day (40).

Having written down in one line the path of the deceased according to the days of transition, we get:

(3) + (3 x 3) + (3 x 3 x 3) = 3 + 9 + 27 = 39,

or 3 + 3 (squared) + 3 (cubed) = 39,

and by adding quality –1 (unity), we get the number 40, as full number implementation of the death process.

Thus, fours - 4 - take part in memorial days. But our ignorance leads to distortions such as a “damaged phone”, and we fall into “inaccuracy”, which is typical for our life (and accuracy comes from knowledge of Numberology!), and with “not exactly” the time of the wake will move (which is what happens) from the thirteenth day (13 = 4) to the ninth. This means that we commemorate as if the living, and not the dead, perform actions earlier than the appointed day.

Number 13.

However, the “transitional” number 4 has survived to our times in the form of three fours together with one, their unity: 4 is the fourth day of commemoration, 4 is the thirteenth day of commemoration and 4 is the fortieth day, i.e. 4 + 4 + 4 = 12 + 1 = 13. The number 13 is “dangerous” for us for a reason. It remains in our memory (no longer from a damaged phone) from ancient times, when knowledge about the secret and invisible world was revealed to people.

But the number 13 (4) is transitional not only in death, but also in birth. Forty (4) weeks - and a person is born into the visible world, therefore the number 13 is dual in its essence (the direction of the path is important: to the visible world, or to the invisible).

How can a born person know what not only the number 13 represents, but also other numbers that “live” with us? Who has ever thought about the questions “why” and “how” something happens? Many people take the world in the form of the question “what is this?” and in response they receive only the name of things and phenomena, sort of like an acquaintance with what they will have to live with.

(Information about the number 13 can be read on the Forum page of this website: http://nomer7777.ucoz.ru/forum/2-4-1).

Looking at this Circle of the Universe, you can understand about the days of the Transition, this is every fourth Circle:

If we want to find a life partner, then it is not enough for us to know only his name. Its manifestation is important to us, i.e. the manner of his behavior, the properties inherent in the Soul, which are only reflected through the Body. The Soul is more important to us, because... The body can be beautiful, but the behavior resembles moral ugliness. The body can only sympathize with us (be pleasing to the eye - sight), but we love for internal quality, which is expressed by the number of sign expressions through the body (manner of movement - gait, gestures, expression of thoughts, manner of speaking - everything that is a person’s personal dignity, his qualities of the Soul - all these are signs that reflect it).

Funeral service for 1 year after death, rules for holding

Funerals are the embodiment of a living Idea, whose name we only know - ritual. By repeating meaningless actions that answer the question “what” (must be done after the death of a person), we look like a robot, like some kind of thoughtless creature.

In many things we repeat after those who were born before us, because... we do not ask questions: “how” (correct) and “why” (we need to do something that could be posed by the question “what is this in front of us?”). We follow thoughtlessly, and then ask “why do we dream about the dead?”, to which we receive an answer in the form of advice: “Light a candle!” Thus, with the help of a dream and the deceased, the question “why” is born in us. You can already understand this as a sign of absence communications, because memory is a connection between times: what has gone into the past and carried away a loved one, and what comes from the future, which we, living today, perceive as the present.

Ritual of farewell.

Funerals as an event have their own inner life, because what we do is an external manifestation (ritual). But manifestation can be perfect (good) and imperfect (bad). And if we already perform our actions in the name of Memory, then it is desirable to achieve an effect in what we do, which will communication with the deceased, who is either escorted by us on his further journey (with the number 4), or not escorted (with the number 3).

In the meantime, it turns out: we came to the station to see off a person whose train will arrive tomorrow. There is no person near the train, but we blindly perform the ritual of seeing off. And tomorrow he will go alone... Without saying goodbye on time, he will be saddened by our absence. This sadness can be felt unconsciously (in the earthly world and body) by the Soul of living people (although in its world it feels it consciously). But do we really have organs to see and hear something internal if we are blind and deaf? We are those who can be said to have “no eyes to see” and “no ears to hear.” We need a healer so that we can gain insight into many things.

New topic.

For me personally, Numberology was such a healer, because... this is the science of the Wholeness of the World, of its Nature, not divided into parts.

We must always remember that the final Goal (integrity) of our life is death. But death is not the End (not the number 3).

Death is a transition (number 4), but where is the transition?

The Numberology method will allow you to answer this question, but this will already be new topic. In it I will try to illuminate the path along which our further existence associated with the number 5 will continue, because We celebrate the fourth commemoration a year later, and a year is equal to the number 365, as the number of total consecutive days. This number points to the number 5, as the sum is 365 = 3 + 6 + 5 = 14 = 1 + 4 = 5.

Funeral as a word (sum serial numbers letters of the alphabet) indicate the number 4, because. P 17 + O 16 + M 14 + I 10 + N 15 + K 12 + I 10 ultimately give the sum = 94, which is 9 + 4 = 13, or 1 + 3 = 4

In a narrow circle, the anniversary of the death is celebrated. How to remember, who to invite, what menu to create - organizational issues worry the family of the deceased. The memory of the deceased should be honored with acts of mercy, prayers, and visits to the cemetery.

A wake (or commemoration, remembrance) is a ritual in memory of a deceased person. Usually the funeral is held by relatives; if there are none, close people and friends.

The tradition of commemoration arose in connection with Christian teaching. Every religion has its own rituals for remembering people. Adapted folk consciousness often combines several beliefs into one ritual.

Christian traditions are fundamental in Russia. Nevertheless, according to Orthodox rules (with funeral commemorations and prayers), only people who have undergone the rite of baptism are remembered. The exceptions are suicides, unbaptized people, non-Orthodox people, heretics - the church does not pray for them.

Dates of commemoration

In Orthodoxy, wakes after death are held 3 times. On the third day after death, on the ninth, fortieth. The essence of the ritual lies in the funeral meal. Relatives and friends gather for common table. They remember the deceased, his good deeds, stories from his life. Dishes from the funeral table are distributed to friends, acquaintances, and colleagues of the deceased so that they remember him.

On the day of the funeral, everyone gathers to honor the memory of the deceased. The Christian is first taken to the funeral ceremony in a church or cemetery chapel. The unbaptized deceased, after saying goodbye to home, are immediately taken to the cemetery. Burial takes place according to the traditions of the region in which the person lived. Then everyone returns to the house for the wake.

On the 9th day after death, only close relatives are invited to honor the memory of the deceased. The wake reminds family lunch, with the difference that the photo of the deceased is located not far from the refectory table. Next to the photograph of the deceased they place a glass of water or vodka and a slice of bread. This is a pagan tradition, unacceptable for Christians.

Everyone is invited to the 40th day. On this day, those who were unable to attend the funeral usually come to the wake.

Then comes the anniversary of death. How to remember and who to invite is decided by the relatives of the deceased. Usually the closest friends and relatives are invited on the anniversary of death.

Christian traditions of commemoration

According to Christian faith, commemoration on the 3rd day after death is performed in honor of the resurrection of Christ (on the 3rd day after the execution). On the 9th day - in honor of the angelic ranks who ask the Lord for mercy on the deceased. On the 40th day - in honor of the Ascension of the Lord.

Church tradition says that the soul has been wandering since the day of death. Until day 40, she prepares for God's decision. During the first 3 days after death, the soul visits places of earthly life and loved ones. Then she flies around the heavenly abodes from 3 to 9 days. After which he sees the torment of sinners in hell from days 9 to 40.

God's decision occurs on the 40th day. A directive is issued about where the soul will be until the Last Judgment.

The beginning of a new, eternal life is the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased, who to invite, what to order - these are important organizational issues. It is necessary to prepare in advance for the day of remembrance.

Death anniversary: ​​how to remember

The mourning date is announced only to those whom the family of the deceased wishes to see at the funeral. These should be the closest and dearest people, friends of the deceased. It is necessary to clarify who can come. Knowing the number of guests will help you create the menu correctly. In case of unexpected arrival of someone you know, make 1-2 more portioned dishes.

On the anniversary of death, you should come to the cemetery and visit the grave of the deceased. After which all relatives and friends are invited to a funeral dinner. It should be noted that memorial days are held at the discretion of the family of the deceased. Subsequent discussions by strangers about the correctness of the ritual are inappropriate.

The anniversary of his death is approaching. How to remember, how to set the table? It is important to note that such events are conveniently held in small cafes. This will save the owners from the exhausting preparation of various dishes and subsequent tidying up in the apartment.

Christians reserve special memorial services at the church. You should discuss in advance with the priest all the activities that need to be carried out. You can limit yourself to reading akathists at home, funeral prayers, invite the priest to the house.

Who should you invite?

A commemoration, the anniversary of death, takes place in a close family circle. How to remember and who to call is discussed by relatives in advance. It is customary to invite only those whom you want to see to the godina.

Unwanted visitors may unexpectedly appear on the anniversary of death. The family of the deceased must make a decision - to leave the unwanted guest at the funeral dinner or not to invite him to the table at all. The anniversary of death is an event only for those closest to you.

You shouldn't have a crowded gathering. A mourning date, the memory of the deceased is not a reason for noisy party. A modest family dinner, warm memories of the deceased - this is how the anniversary of death passes. How to commemorate is decided by the closest relatives of the deceased. A leisurely, calm atmosphere, quiet music, photographs of the deceased are a worthy way to honor the memory.

How to dress correctly?

Clothes for a death anniversary are of no small importance. If you are planning a trip to the cemetery before the funeral dinner, you should take weather conditions into account. To attend church, women need to prepare a headdress (scarf).

Dress formally for all funeral events. Shorts, deep necklines, bows and ruffles will look indecent. It is better to exclude bright, variegated colors. Business, office suits, closed shoes, formal dresses in muted tones are an appropriate choice for a funeral date.

How to properly commemorate the anniversary of death? Good memories in a close circle. You can give out alms - pies, sweets, things of the deceased.

Visit to the cemetery

During this time, you should definitely visit the cemetery. If weather conditions do not allow ( heavy rain, snowstorm) this can be done another day. You should arrive at the cemetery in the first half of the day.

The grave of the deceased must be monitored. Paint the fence in a timely manner, you can put a small table and bench. Plant flowers, weed out unnecessary weeds that give the grave an unkempt appearance. This is the anniversary of death... How to remember a person? Clean up his grave, light candles in special cups, lay fresh flowers.

By Christian traditions Back in the 19th century, the synod banned wreaths with inscriptions made from fake flowers. Such layings distract from prayers for the soul of the deceased.

You can bring tea, alcohol, pies, and sweets to the grave. To modestly remember the deceased, pour the remains of alcohol on the grave, sprinkle crumbs - this is a symbol of the presence of the deceased next to the living. Many families adhere to this pagan tradition at funerals.

In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring anything to the grave. Only with fresh flowers and prayers should the deceased be remembered.

How to set the table

Table setting for funerals is standard. The only difference is to put an even number of dishes on the table. Forks for mourning dates are usually excluded. Such a moment in time remains at the discretion of the family of the deceased.

Dishes, in addition to those required at the funeral table, are prepared in accordance with the preferences of the deceased. You can add mourning ribbons to the interior and light candles.

For the Orthodox - bless the kutya in the church. Eliminate alcohol, stick to fasting and fasting days - use them as a starting point when creating a menu. Pay more attention not to eating, but to prayers for the deceased.

Death anniversary menu

Like a regular funeral, the anniversary of the death is celebrated. How to remember what to cook? Kissel, kutia, and pancakes are considered obligatory at the funeral table. Fish dishes are a symbol of Christianity - these can be pies, cold appetizers, and smoked meats.

From salads you can prepare vinaigrette, beets with garlic, vegetable caviar. Serve sauerkraut, pickled cucumbers and mushrooms. Sandwiches with sprats and baked cheese. Sliced ​​meat and cheese.

Fried or baked chicken (rabbit, goose, duck, turkey) is suitable for hot dishes. Cutlets or steaks, French-style meat or chop, stuffed vegetables or stewed lamb. For garnish - boiled potatoes, vegetable stew, fried eggplants.

In the form of dessert - gingerbread, sweet pies, pancakes, cheesecakes, sweets, fruits and apples. Drinks - store-bought juices or home-brewed compote, jelly, lemonade.

Exclude sparkling and sweet wines from the menu, as they are not happy holiday, and the anniversary of death. How to remember? Give preference to strong drinks (vodka, cognac, whiskey), dry red wines. During a table conversation, it is customary to remember the deceased and his good deeds on earth.

Funeral in a cafe

To eliminate the bulk purchase of products, cooking, table setting and subsequent tidying, you can order a small room in a cafe. So that the anniversary of death passes in a calm atmosphere. The cafe staff will help you remember what to order. Their menu is not much different from home.

The cafe staff should be notified in advance that guests will gather for the funeral. The administrator will try to keep overly cheerful visitors as far as possible from the relatives of the deceased (if we are talking about a common room).

It is usually customary to order a small one for the holidays. banquet hall. Then the festive neighbors will not interfere with the quiet mood of the death anniversary.

If you don’t fancy a cafe, but want a cozy, homely atmosphere, you can order lunch at home. Agree on the menu in advance, set a time and delivery address.

Death anniversary: ​​how to remember in church

According to Christian beliefs, the duty of the living is to pray for the deceased. Then the most serious sins can be forgiven. Church funeral services are designed to ask for forgiveness of the sins of the deceased. Not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary days you can order a memorial service.

During the Divine Liturgy, prayers are heard for the departed. Immediately before the Liturgy (or in advance, in the evening), a note is submitted in which the names of the deceased Christians are written. During the Liturgy, all names are announced.

You can order a magpie for the deceased. This is a commemoration for 40 days before the Liturgy. Sorokoust is also ordered for a longer period - commemoration for six months or a year.

An ordinary candle for the repose of the soul is also a memory of the deceased. In home prayers you can remember the deceased. There is a special book for Christians - a memorial book, where the names of the deceased should be entered.

While visiting the cemetery, Christians read an akathist and perform a litia (it is also performed before the funeral dinner, for which a priest is invited).

Almsgiving

IN memorial days attention should be paid to works of mercy. Funeral dishes You can give gifts to those in need, acquaintances, colleagues. This is done so that as many people as possible remember the deceased. kind words.

A good reason for giving alms is the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased? You can distribute money, sweets, cookies to the poor at the church and ask them to pray for the deceased, to donate money for the construction of the temple. The things of the deceased are usually given to needy friends.

Almsgiving is a good deed towards the poor. Therefore, the family of the deceased does not have to distribute food or money to the poor at the church. You can find people in your environment (pensioners, large families) who will care real help. Or take a small offering to a nursing home, boarding school, or orphanage.

Procedure for celebrating the anniversary of death

1. Notify in advance that the funeral date is approaching, and invite the relatives and friends of the deceased.
2. Choose a cafe or organize an event at home.
3. Visit the cemetery, the grave of the deceased.
4. To honor the memory of the deceased with a funeral dinner.
5. Give alms to those in need.

According to Christian traditions, the deceased is remembered on the third, ninth and fortieth day after his death. Mourning the dead for forty days was still an Old Testament custom.

The main task of the ritual is to help the soul of a deceased person pass into another world easily and calmly. At a wake, you should remember the deceased with a kind word, remember him warmly and pray for his soul.

It is necessary to visit the grave of the deceased, order the necessary services at the “Repose” church and organize a memorial meal to which all relatives and friends of the deceased are invited.

It is customary to bring flowers (an even number) and a candle to the cemetery; in some regions of the country, relatives leave cookies or sweets at the grave so that strangers will also remember the deceased.

You can make a short speech and say a prayer, but drinking alcohol at the grave is strictly prohibited.

A funeral dinner should not be like a buffet or feast. The purpose of a memorial meal is to remember the deceased person, remember him and support each other in such a difficult life situation.

The table may be quite modest, but the main dishes of a wake are traditionally: pies, noodles, kulesh, kanun, porridge and pancakes. Meat and vegetable cuts, mushrooms and salads are allowed. As for alcoholic drinks, give preference to the church wine “Cahors”. Alcohol at a funeral dinner is usually poured twice - “to commemorate the soul.”

Other religions also have funeral customs. For example, in Islam it is believed that on the day of the funeral it is necessary to do a good deed: help the weak or donate money to charity.

Is it possible to move the day of the funeral?

There are unforeseen life circumstances in which the question of postponing the funeral meal arises.

The Orthodox Church believes that in case of serious good reasons the funeral dinner can be moved forward or back a few days.

But if there are no compelling reasons for postponing, it is still better to hold the funeral exactly on the fortieth day of death.

In addition to prayers and meals, relatives should distribute refreshments to people in need “to commemorate their souls.”

A memorial meal should not be held if it coincides with major Orthodox holidays (Easter, Christmas, Trinity). In this case, it is better to postpone the funeral.

If you decide to postpone the wake, it is better to hold it a few days later exact date death.

After death, a person is commemorated on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day, and the last date is considered the most important, since the soul enters the Judgment and its further destiny is decided. There are many traditions associated with this day that people observe to help the deceased person on this important day.

What does 40 days after death mean?

The fortieth day of commemoration of a deceased person is considered a certain line that separates earthly and eternal life. From a religious point of view, it is a more tragic date compared to physical death. 40 days after the funeral is a date that reminds people that the soul, after the end of earthly life, goes to its Heavenly Father. The funeral can be considered a kind of act of mercy.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days?

Many people note that at first they feel the presence of a deceased person, which is manifested by smell, sighs, steps, and so on. This is due to the fact that for forty days the spirit does not leave the place where it lived.

1. For the first three days the soul is free and it remembers its entire earthly life. It is believed that during this time she is in places that are close. On the third day after death, a memorial service must be held.
2. After this there will be a meeting with God, the saints and a visit to heaven. From this moment, the first torment and fears begin that due to mistakes made, the entrance to heaven may be closed. All this lasts for six days, so on the ninth day a memorial service and wake are held.
3. At the next stage, ordeals begin, which represent trials and obstacles. The soul will not receive a decision whether it can spend eternal life in Heaven or Hell. During this period, a comparison of positive and negative actions occurs.
4. When figuring out what happens on day 40, it is worth mentioning the onset of the most important stage - Last Judgment, where the soul can no longer influence anything and only the lived life of the deceased is taken into account.

How to pray for the deceased for up to 40 days?

Remembering dead people is the duty of every believer. According to the church, you need to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. A prayer for 40 days to see off the soul can be said in church or at home. If a person chooses the second option, then it is recommended that women tie a scarf on their heads and light candles in front of the image of the Lord. When figuring out the rules of 40 days after death and how to remember, it is worth noting that prayer during this period helps to gain faith in the soul and more easily cope with the loss of a loved one.

“Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ. Satisfy my heart's sorrow for the deceased slave (name of the deceased). Help me cope with this difficult loss, and give me strength to withstand the grief. And on the fortieth tribulation day, accept the soul of the deceased (name of the deceased) into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it will be so now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".

Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier?

Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to accomplish what you planned. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the 40th day, it is not a tragedy or a sin, since this can be done in advance or even later. It is forbidden to reschedule commemoration at liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many people are still interested in how to count 40 days from the date of death, so the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.

What is prepared for 40 days after death?

On this day, a memorial dinner is always held, the purpose of which is to remember the deceased and pray for his repose. It is important to remember that food is not the main thing, so there is no need to try to prepare a luxurious menu with a lot of delicacies. A funeral dinner for 40 days, the menu of which must take into account the rules of Christianity, implies adherence to several important principles:

1. On the table there should be kutia, which is made from millet or rice, and pancakes without filling. Each of these dishes has its own important sacred meaning, which helps to appreciate the frailty of existence.
2. For those who are interested in the topic - 40 days after death, how to remember, you need to know about old tradition bake pies with different fillings.
3. If the forties did not fall during Lent, then meat dishes are not prohibited, so you can serve cutlets, cabbage rolls, goulash as a side dish, and so on.
4. Various dishes are allowed, and these can be first and second courses.
5. You can put salads on the table that include lean ingredients in the recipe.
6. Understanding the traditions of 40 days after death and how to remember the deceased, it is worth mentioning that in many families it is customary to follow the tradition of preparing the deceased’s favorite dish for a funeral dinner.
7. As for desserts, it is best to make cheesecakes, pies, cookies, and sweets are also allowed.

What do they take to the cemetery for 40 days?

According to traditions, on memorial days, people go to the cemetery to say goodbye to a loved one. You need to take flowers with you to the grave, of which there should be pairs, and a candle. With these objects, the living can express their respect to the deceased. You cannot talk loudly at the grave, have snacks, and especially drink alcohol. Another important point regarding what is brought to the cemetery for 40 days - as a treat for the deceased, you can take a plate of kutya from home and leave it at the grave.

What are they giving away for 40 days?

There are many traditions associated with memorial days. On the fortieth day, it is customary to distribute various treats to people so that they remember the deceased. In most cases, they give cookies, sweets and pastries. Customs for 40 days after death say that during the first forty days after death, it is necessary to distribute a person to needy people, asking them to pray for his soul. This tradition is not described in the Bible and is a personal decision for each individual.

Funeral service for 40 days – when to order?

On the fortieth day of commemoration of the deceased, you must definitely go to the temple, where you can pray and order a memorial service and magpie.

1. The most important prayer is said at the liturgy. During this, a bloodless sacrifice must be made to the Lord.
2. Seeing off the soul on the 40th day necessarily includes a memorial service and this ritual is served in front of a special table called the eve. Gifts are left there for the needs of the temple and in memory of the dead. If a memorial service is not scheduled on the day that falls, then a litany is held for the deceased.
3. Understanding the topic - 40 days after death, how to commemorate, it is necessary to say that it is important to order the magpie, which is carried out from the day of death until the 40th day. When the allotted time is over, the sorokoust can be repeated one more time. Longer memorial times can be ordered.

40 days after death - traditions and rituals

A huge number of customs have formed in Rus', many of which have survived to this day. There are various signs, which cannot be done until 40 days, but it is worth noting that many of them are fiction and the church does not confirm them. Among the well-known traditions are the following:

1. Since ancient times, for 40 days it is not recommended to carefully monitor your clothes and cut your hair, as this is considered a sign of disrespect for the memory of the deceased.
2. The table for a funeral dinner is set traditionally, but sharp cutlery, that is, knives and forks, is not used. Spoons are usually placed with their backs facing up.
3. Crumbs left on the table cannot be swept off the table and thrown away; they are collected and taken to the grave. This is how the living inform the deceased that a wake was taking place.
4. Many people are interested in the topic of what they bring to the funeral for 40 days, so there are no rules indicating such obligations, but it is not prohibited to take some home-cooked food with you, for example, pies or pancakes.
5. At night, it is customary to close windows and doors tightly, and one should not cry, as this can attract the soul of the deceased.
6. Many people leave a glass filled with vodka and covered with bread on the table or bedside table. If the liquid decreases, it means the soul is drinking it. Many people leave vodka at the grave, but Orthodox customs this has nothing to do with it.

Why can’t you chew seeds for up to 40 days?

Over the years, various customs have developed related to the commemoration of dead people, and some of them may seem strange to many. For example, there is a ban regarding the prohibition of chewing seeds for up to 40 days, since this can spit on the soul of a deceased person. There is another explanation for this sign, according to which those who violate this prohibition will have toothache for a long time. The third interpretation of superstition concerns the fact that by clicking seeds you can attract evil spirits and devils.

Why do they give out spoons for 40 days?

Since ancient times, there has been a custom of distributing wooden spoons with which people ate at funeral dinners. In the modern world, such cutlery is not used, so ordinary spoons are distributed. The sign is explained by the fact that when a person uses such a device, he involuntarily remembers the deceased. There is another strange superstition according to which utensils used for 40 days should not be given away. It is believed that she is a participant in the farewell ritual and if a person takes her home, he will bring misfortune and even death upon himself.

Signs for 40 days after death

There are many different superstitions associated with this date from the day of death, and among them we will highlight the most famous:

1. During this period, it is forbidden to clean the house and turn off the lights (you can leave a night light or candle).
2. It is not allowed to sleep for the allotted period in the place of the deceased.
3. From the moment of death until 40 days, it is necessary to cover all reflective surfaces in the house: mirrors, televisions, and so on. It is believed that a dead person can be reflected in them and take a living person with them.
4. When holding a wake for 40 days after death, it is necessary to allocate a place at the table for the deceased person, placing a plate and a glass for him, putting a piece of bread on top.
5. The widow must wear it on her head for the specified time; if this is not done, then she can incur damage to herself.
6. Every day you need to place a glass of water and a towel on the windowsill. This is important so that the soul can wash itself.