Wedding in the Orthodox Church: rules and customs. What rules you need to know when getting married in the Orthodox Church
In order for the wedding ceremony to be remembered only with positive emotions, it is important to prepare for it in advance.
Of course, the most important thing is the spiritual component of the sacrament, but we must not forget about the wedding attributes that will be needed in the church.
Making a shopping list is the best way not to miss anything.
It is useful to find out in advance what kind of donation after the ceremony is made to the church fund in the place where you decided to get married.
What to buy
wedding candles
Which is better to choose
Candles are sold in the church shop: they can be bought there on the day of the celebration or in advance.
Candles of a certain design can be found in online stores: from the most ordinary wax ones to products of various colors, shapes and sizes, decorated with small bouquets, patterned molding, ribbons, rings, hand or factory painting, glitter (sparkles), decals (images with a paper base). ), in a package or with candlesticks, etc. Their choice is a matter of taste, the main thing is that these are wedding candles.
What do you need
Wedding candles are obligatory "participants" of the wedding ceremony. This is a sign of the joy that lovers experience from meeting each other. Candles burning in the hands of the newlyweds embody the chastity of the young, the fiery and pure mutual love that they must cherish from now on, as well as the abiding grace of God.
After the sacrament candles remain with the newlyweds. They should be kept at home near the icons or in another secluded pious place and light the symbol of the marriage union in connection with some important and joyful events, on the anniversary of the marriage, or, conversely, if difficult times come. There is a belief that wedding candles can alleviate difficult childbirth.
How much are
On average, a set of candles costs from 300 to 1000 rubles.
Handkerchiefs for candles
Which is better to choose
First of all, they should be white or light colors. These can be handkerchiefs or cloth napkins, with lace, embroidery or simpler. Often in church shops you can buy specially made potholders.
What do you need
The tradition of covering hands with a handkerchief is not one century. But this is done more for practical reasons - so that they do not get dirty and burnt with wax.
How much are
The cost of special tacks is approximately equal to 800-1000 rubles. Ordinary handkerchiefs or cloth napkins are much cheaper.
What icons are needed for a wedding
Which is better to choose
These should be the faces of the Savior and the Mother of God - individually or in the form of a fold, that is, a folding icon from two parts. The choice of such icons, it turns out, is also diverse. They differ in size (from 7 × 12 and more), shape (arched or rectangular), design (in a plastic, wooden or other frame; brass, metallized, gilded, etc.; with embossing, silk-screen printing, enamel, velvet; in a case and without it, etc.).
What do you need
With their help, the priest blesses the bride and groom. In the old days, images were brought from the parental home and so passed home shrine from generation to generation .
Today, the icons of the Savior and the Mother of God are purchased in advance by the parents of the newlyweds in the church shop and given to the priest before the start of the ceremony. If the parents do not participate in the marriage, the young do it themselves.
How much are
The price range is quite wide. The cost depends on the size and materials and ranges from 50 to 20,000 rubles.
Wedding towel - "foot"
Which is better to choose
The towel, which the newlyweds will climb at the altar, should be white or pink.
In the past, the bride and groom could only kneel, today they usually stand on the towel with their feet, because there is a belief that you don’t need to choose a wedding towel with the image of rings or a pair of birds as a wedding towel: it’s better to opt for a geometric pattern or floral ornament along the edges. And the center of the canvas - the symbolic place of God - must be "clean".
A towel with hemstitch or lace is not suitable for marriage: they deprive family life of integrity. The canvas should not be interrupted in the same way as the joint life of spouses should not be interrupted.
What is it needed for
This attribute of the wedding ceremony is a symbol of the unity and purity of married life. It spreads out at the lectern and serves as a footstool for the bride and groom, on it the young, like on a cloud, rise to the Kingdom of Heaven to bless their marriage.
After the ceremony, the towel most often remains with the newlyweds: it is kept in the family as a memory and decorates the house on anniversaries and anniversaries.
What is the price
A wedding towel with embroidery costs an average of 500 to 2000 rubles, a simple towel costs less.
What rings are needed for a wedding
Which is better to choose
Traditionally, the rings of the bride and groom should be made of different precious metals: he has gold, she has silver (then, during the sacrament, the young will exchange them). This difference is symbolic.
Nowadays, this rule is not always observed, and wedding rings can even be with precious stones. Therefore, the choice of jewelry completely depends on the taste and financial capabilities of the groom: according to traditions, it is he who should buy rings - preferably on the same day and in one place.
What do you need
Rings are the central attribute of a betrothal. Before the beginning of the ceremony, they lie on the holy throne on the right - in front of the face of Jesus Christ. Thus, having touched the holy throne, they receive the power of sanctification and the ability to bring down God's blessing on the newlyweds. And the fact that the rings lie side by side means mutual love and spiritual unity of the bride and groom.
This is a multi-valued symbol. Firstly, a sign of the inseparability, infinity and eternity of the marriage union. Secondly, the incarnation of the sun, to which the husband is likened; the silver one personifies the moon - a smaller luminary and radiating light reflected from the sun.
The actions performed with the rings during the sacrament are also of great sacred importance. So, the exchange of jewelry speaks of love and willingness to sacrifice everything and help all your life - on the part of the groom, and about love and devotion, readiness to accept this help throughout your life - on the part of the bride.
How much are
The price of engagement rings will depend on the metal they are made of (don't choose a combination of metals as it's considered bad luck) and the presence or absence of gemstones.
Wedding set
Which is better to choose
The range of wedding sets today is also very wide. They differ in the number of items, style and cost. The set usually includes a towel, towels, napkins for wedding rings, potholders for candles.
What is it needed for
Buying a wedding set will save the bride and groom from the need to purchase all textile wedding accessories separately, selecting them according to color and design, and will save them valuable time .
What is the price
On average, a set of 4 items costs 1000-2000 rubles, and of 7 - 3000-5000 rubles.
Red wine
Which is better to choose
Traditionally, red fortified wines are bought as a drink for the “chalice of communication” ritual. Cahors or Sherry .
What do you need
The red wine offered by the young priest is a symbol of their true love: the fresh water of their true feelings should turn into a strong drink from year to year.
What is the price
A bottle of good Cahors or Spanish sherry can cost from 700 to 7000 rubles.
What else do you need to bring to church?
In addition to all of the above, newlyweds should take the following documents and items with them:
- Passports .
- Marriage certificate(except for those rare cases when the wedding - in agreement with the priest - precedes registration in the registry office).
- Pectoral crosses(they should hang around the neck).
How much does a church wedding cost?
A similar question interests everyone who is preparing to go to the altar, but it sounds fundamentally wrong.
It is important to understand: the sacrament of the wedding itself does not and cannot have any monetary value, that is, it is carried out absolutely free of charge.
There is an ancient custom after the rite leave a donation in the church. Previously, young people had to bring freshly baked bread wrapped in a linen towel to the temple as a token of gratitude.
Today, the gratitude of the young is more often expressed in terms of money - as much as they can. There are, of course, some approximate limits (from 500 to 1500 rubles).
It is better to clarify such a delicate moment with your priest: accepted the size of the donation may depend on the locality, a particular church, positions of the local clergy, etc.
Everyone's financial situation is different, and sometimes newlyweds are not able to make a large donation for the sacrament. In any temple, this will be treated with understanding: after explaining the situation to the priest, the young people can leave the amount that is feasible for them.
(25 votes : 4.24 out of 5 )Then the Epistle to the Ephesians of the Holy Apostle Paul () is read, where the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church, for which the Savior who loved her gave Himself up. A husband's love for his wife is a likeness of Christ's love for the Church, and a wife's lovingly humble obedience to her husband is a likeness of the Church's attitude towards Christ. true followers of Him, who through suffering and martyrdom confirmed their fidelity and love for the Lord.
The last saying of the apostle: and let the wife be afraid of her husband - calls not for the fear of the weak before the strong, not for the fear of the slave in relation to the master, but for the fear of saddening a loving person, breaking the unity of souls and bodies. The same fear of losing love, and therefore the presence of God in family life, should also be experienced by a husband, whose head is Christ. In another epistle, the apostle Paul says: The wife has no power over her own body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance ().
Husband and wife are members of the Church and, being particles of the fullness of the Church, they are equal among themselves, obeying the Lord Jesus Christ.
After the Apostle, the Gospel of John () is read. It proclaims God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification. The miracle of the transformation of water into wine by the Savior foreshadowed the action of the grace of the sacrament, by which earthly conjugal love rises to heavenly love, uniting souls in the Lord. The saint speaks of the moral change necessary for this, “Marriage is honorable and the bed is blameless, for Christ blessed them in Cana at marriage, eating food of the flesh and turning water into wine, having manifested this first miracle, so that you, soul, would change” (Great canon, in Russian translation, troparion 4, song 9).
After reading the Gospel, a brief petition for the newlyweds and a prayer of the priest are uttered on behalf of the Church, in which we pray to the Lord that He preserve those who are united in peace and like-mindedness, that their marriage is honest, their bed is not filthy, their cohabitation is blameless, so that they will be able to live to old age, while fulfilling His commandments from a pure heart.
The priest proclaims: “And vouchsafe us, Vladyka, with boldness, without condemnation, dare to call on You, Heavenly God the Father, and speak…”. And the newlyweds, together with all those present, sing the prayer “Our Father”, the foundation and crown of all prayers, commanded to us by the Savior Himself.
In the mouths of those who are married, she expresses her determination to serve the Lord with her little church, so that through them on earth His will be fulfilled and reign in their family life. As a sign of humility and devotion to the Lord, they bow their heads under the crowns.
After the Lord's Prayer, the priest glorifies the Kingdom, the power and glory of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and, having taught peace, commands to bow our heads before God, as before the King and Master, and at the same time before our Father. Then a cup of red wine is brought, or rather a cup of communion, and the priest blesses it for the mutual communion of husband and wife. Wine at the wedding is served as a sign of joy and fun, recalling the miraculous transformation of water into wine, performed by Jesus Christ in Cana of Galilee.
The priest gives the young couple three times to drink wine from a common cup - first to the husband, as the head of the family, then to the wife. Usually they drink wine in three small sips: first the husband, then the wife.
Having presented the common cup, the priest connects the right hand of the husband with the right hand of the wife, covers their hands with epitrachelion and puts his hand on top of it. This means that through the hand of the priest the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever. The priest circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern.
During the first circumambulation, the troparion “Isaiah, rejoice…” is sung, in which the sacrament of the incarnation of the Son of God Emmanuel from the Unsophisticated Mary is glorified.
During the second circumambulation, the troparion “Holy Martyr” is sung. Crowned with crowns, as conquerors of earthly passions, they are an image of the spiritual marriage of the believing soul with the Lord.
Finally, in the third troparion, which is sung during the last circumambulation of the lectern, Christ is glorified as the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope in all circumstances of life: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, praise of the apostles, joy of the martyrs, their preaching. Trinity consubstantial."
This circular walk means the eternal procession that began on this day for this couple. Their marriage will be an eternal procession hand in hand, a continuation and manifestation of the sacrament that has been accomplished today. Remembering the common cross laid on them today, “carrying each other's burdens,” they will always be filled with the grace-filled joy of this day. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses, greeting them with words filled with patriarchal simplicity and therefore especially solemn:
“Be magnified, bridegroom, like Abraham, and be blessed like Isaac, and multiply like Jacob, walk in the world and do the commandments of God in righteousness.”
“And you, bride, be exalted like Sarah, and rejoice like Rebekah, and multiply like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law, for God is so pleased.”
Then, in the next two prayers, the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and blameless in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, with the bowing of the heads of the newlyweds, these petitions are sealed in the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing. At the end of it, the newlyweds with a chaste kiss testify to the holy and pure love for each other.
Further, according to custom, the newlyweds are brought to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride - the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied accordingly: the groom - to the icon of the Mother of God, and the bride - to the icon of the Savior. Here the priest gives them a cross for kissing and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.
What should be the wedding meal?
The sacrament of marriage is celebrated solemnly and joyfully. From the multitude of people: relatives, relatives and friends, from the brilliance of candles, from church singing somehow involuntarily becomes festive and cheerful in the soul.
After the wedding, young people, parents, witnesses, guests continue the celebration at the table.
But how indecently some of the guests sometimes behave at the same time. Often people get drunk here, utter shameless speeches, sing immodest songs, dance wildly. Such behavior would be shameful even for a pagan, “ignorant of God and His Christ”, and not only for us Christians. The Holy Church warns against such behavior. Canon 53 of the Council of Laodicea says: “It is not fitting for those who go to marriages (that is, even the relatives of the bride and groom and guests) to jump or dance, but to dine and dine modestly, as befits Christians.” The wedding feast should be modest and quiet, should be alien to all intemperance and indecency. Such a quiet and modest feast will be blessed by the Lord Himself, who sanctified the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence and the performance of the first miracle.
What can hinder Christian marriage
Often, those preparing for the wedding first register a civil marriage in the registry office. The Orthodox Church considers civil marriage devoid of grace, but as a fact it recognizes and does not consider it illegal fornication. Nevertheless, the conditions for concluding a marriage under civil law and according to church canons differ. However, not every civil marriage can be consecrated in the church.
The church does not allow marriage more than three times. Under civil law, a fourth and fifth marriage is allowed, which the Church does not bless.
A marriage is not blessed if one of the spouses (and even more so both) declares himself an atheist and says that he came to the wedding only at the insistence of his spouse or parents.
A wedding is not allowed if at least one of the spouses is not baptized and is not going to be baptized before the wedding.
A wedding is not possible if one of the future spouses is actually married to another person. First you need to dissolve a civil marriage, and if the marriage was church, be sure to take the permission of the bishop to dissolve it and bless it to enter into a new marriage.
Another obstacle to marriage is the consanguinity of the bride and groom and spiritual kinship, acquired through the reception at baptism.
When there is no wedding
According to the canonical rules, it is not allowed to have a wedding during all four fasts, on cheese week, Easter week, in the period from the Nativity of Christ to the Epiphany (Svyatki). According to pious custom, it is not customary to make marriages on Saturday, as well as on the eve of the Twelfth, great and temple holidays, so that the pre-holiday evening would not pass in noisy fun and entertainment. In addition, in the Russian Orthodox Church, marriage is not performed on Tuesdays and Thursdays (on the eve of fast days - Wednesdays and Fridays), on the eve and on the days of the Beheading of John the Baptist (August 29/September 11) and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 14/27). Exceptions to these rules can be made out of necessity only by the ruling bishop.
Cm. .
Those who want to get married in the Church should know that this is not only a solemn and beautiful ceremony, but also a great responsibility that young spouses take on. Some want to "supplement" their wedding ceremony with a wedding, while not understanding the seriousness and significance of this ceremony. After all, a wedding is not just a beautiful ceremony and not a tribute to traditions.
Those who wish to get married in the church must necessarily be Christians baptized in Orthodoxy, but also believers, since they need to understand that to dissolve such a marriage on their own or to break the vow of fidelity means to commit an unconditional sin.
Before entering into marriage, the bride and groom should prepare themselves spiritually. They must confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries without fail. Before this, it is advisable to observe a seven- or ten-day fast.
For the wedding, it is necessary to prepare in advance two icons: the Savior and the Mother of God. During the Sacrament of the Wedding, it is with these two icons that the bride and groom will be blessed. Traditionally, these icons were taken from the parental home and thus passed on to the next generations.
It is for this reason that parents bring icons to the ceremony in the church. If, for some reason, the parents are absent for the wedding, then the spouses should bring the icons with them.
In addition to icons, the bride and groom need to purchase wedding rings. At the wedding ceremony, the ring symbolizes the eternity and inseparability of the marriage union. For the husband, a golden ring is purchased, which, with its brilliance, represents sunlight, to which the husband is like in marriage.
The wife is given a silver ring, which is the likeness of the moon, a smaller luminary that reflects sunlight, that is, the wife is a reflection of her husband. Now young people usually buy for both rings made of gold or decorated with stones or engraved.
You will also need wedding candles for the ceremony. They can be purchased right there in the temple. In addition, it is worth finding a white towel (handbrake) in advance in order to lay it under your feet.
According to custom, young people hold burning candles in their hands. In order not to get smeared with wax, you should take care of white handkerchiefs with which you can protect your hands.During the wedding ceremony, the young are given a cup of wine. Before the ceremony begins, the priest must be given a bottle of Cahors.
Choice of Witnesses
Now the couple themselves decide whether witnesses are needed at the ceremony.
Witnesses (in other words - guarantors) must necessarily be people baptized in Orthodoxy, preferably church, with reverence for the sacrament of the wedding.Previously, they tried to invite as witnesses people who were not very young, who understood well what family life meant and, if necessary, were able to give advice. Witnesses must be well acquainted with the bride and groom, because they vouch for the new family.
During the wedding ceremony, the guarantors hold the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom while the young people walk around the lectern. Witnesses also confirm the perfect wedding ceremony with their signatures in the register of births.
sacrament of wedding
The wedding ceremony consists of the following stages:
- betrothal;
- directly the wedding ceremony;
- resolution of the crowns;
- thanksgiving prayer.
betrothal
The first part of the sacrament of marriage is the betrothal. Betrothal symbolizes that young people, entering into marriage, give each other mutual promises and obligations in the presence of God and at his discretion.
Traditionally, the groom should be the first to arrive at the church and wait for the bride there, but in our time, the newlyweds come together after the marriage has been registered at the registry office.
The bride and groom stand in front of the main entrance to the church. At the altar, a priest is already waiting for them, who will conduct the ceremony. Young people are brought inside the church.
After blessing the young people three times, the clergyman passes them candles that are already lit. With each blessing of the priest, the bride and groom must cross themselves three times. It should be remembered that if the couple is not the first marriage in the church, but the second or third, candles are not given to the young.
Then the priest puts the rings on the fingers of the bride and groom. After receiving the blessing, the young people exchange rings three times as a sign of their love, devotion and willingness to help each other throughout their lives.
The prayer of the clergyman completes the betrothal.
After the betrothal, the bride and groom stand in front of the lectern on a white handbrake, which is spread out on the floor. On the lectern are laid out the cross, the Gospel and the crowns. The witness stands next to the groom, and the witness stands next to the bride.
In the face of the Church, the young once again confirm their desire to marry. This consent is the main condition for a natural marriage to be considered contracted. Now begins the rite of the wedding - the consecration of marriage by Divine grace.
The laying of crowns on the bride and groom and their blessing by the priest testify to the sealing of the Sacrament of marriage. The rules of the Church do not clearly indicate whether it is necessary to put crowns on the head of the young or whether it is enough for witnesses to keep them over their heads.
As a sign of a common fate, joys and sorrows, the newlyweds are given a cup of wine. It is necessary in turn, first the groom, then the bride, they drink it in three doses.After the young people have drunk the wine, the priest joins the hands of the young people and circles them three times around the lectern. Then the newlyweds kiss the icons: the groom the icon of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.
The kiss of the newlyweds ends the wedding ceremony. It is a symbol of chastity and the purity of their love.
After that, the assembled relatives and guests can congratulate the newlyweds.
In order to get married in the Orthodox Church, one should be aware of the existing certain restrictions.
So, in order to perform the Sacrament of marriage in the Orthodox Church, it is necessary that the young be Christians. If one of the spouses, for example, is a Catholic, then such a marriage will be possible provided that the children born in it are baptized in the Orthodox Church.
The marriage will not be blessed if one of the people entering into marriage is an atheist and agrees to perform the Sacrament of the wedding at the insistence of the spouse.
Also, an obstacle to the wedding is if the groom at the time of marriage was not yet eighteen years old, and the bride was not yet sixteen years old.
The wedding is not allowed if one of the spouses (and even more so both) is not baptized and is not going to be baptized before the wedding.
You can get married in the Church a maximum of three times. The Church does not bless the fourth, fifth and subsequent marriages.
The wedding takes place only after the registration of marriage in the registry office. The Church recognizes civil marriages, but considers them devoid of grace.
It is not possible to get married in the Church if at least one of the spouses is legally married to another person. Provided that the previous marriage was also consecrated by the church, it is necessary to take the permission of the bishop for its dissolution and the conclusion of a new marriage.
A wedding, as well as the conclusion of a civil marriage, between blood relatives, as well as relatives acquired at baptism, is unacceptable.
Not a rule, but rather a recommendation. The clothes of young people should be smart. The bride's dress is light in color, arms, shoulders and back must be covered. If the style of the dress is open enough, then you can hide behind a thin cape. All those present at the sacrament of the wedding must be wearing a pectoral cross.
Behavior in the Temple
While in church, young people, their relatives and friends should adhere to certain rules of conduct:
- Women should be dressed in dresses or a suit with a skirt no longer than the knees. Pants are not recommended for women. Shoulders should also be covered.
- Also, women should cover their heads with a scarf or scarf. Makeup should not be bright and defiant.
- Guests should gather in the church about 15 minutes before the start of the wedding ceremony, so as not to create a crush when the bride and groom enter there.
- The sound in mobile phones must be turned off.
- Walking around the temple during the wedding ceremony is not allowed.
- During the ceremony, women stand on the left side of the hall, and men on the right.
- Standing with their backs to the iconostasis is not allowed.
- Baptism should be done with the right hand.
- The wedding lasts about one hour, so if someone cannot endure such a long time, it is better to immediately stay on the street and wait for the end there.
- These rules must be observed by all guests who are present at the wedding ceremony.
wedding cost
The cost of performing the sacrament of a wedding in the Orthodox Church usually differs depending on the city in which the parish is located. The larger the city, the higher the price of the wedding. Accordingly, in small towns the cost will be much lower.
The cost is affected not only by the size of the city. If the couple wants to get married separately from other couples who are also getting married on this day, the cost will be slightly higher. On weekdays, there are, as a rule, not very many such people getting married. The sacrament will also cost more for those couples in which one of the spouses has already been married, consecrated by the church.
In order to find out exactly how much the wedding will cost, you should come to the church in advance and find out exactly all the information about the sacrament, the conditions for its conduct and cost.
Signs associated with the wedding
The sacrament of the wedding is one of the oldest and most important rites in the life of an Orthodox Christian, so it is not surprising that over time a large number of signs have appeared that are associated with it.
If the ring fell during the betrothal, then the family will not be strong or the widowhood of one of the spouses.
The handbrake, on which the young people stood during the sacrament of the wedding, cannot be given to anyone. It should be kept in the family all their lives, as a symbol of the life of the newlyweds.
Wedding candles should also be kept in the family for life. But, perhaps, some do not know that they can be re-ignited in case of difficult childbirth or illness of the child.
Before going to church and after the wedding to the house, the young were showered with grain and hops. Now this tradition has changed and the newlyweds are showered with coins so that life is rich.
Wedding rings were chosen to be smooth, without stones, inserts or carvings, so that life in the new family would be smooth.
Until the moment when the crown is laid on the bride, her face should be covered with a thick veil, so that no one can see it. At the present time, this custom is rather symbolic, so a transparent or openwork veil is worn.
If, during the sacrament of the wedding, candles crackle in the hands of the bride and groom, then life in the family will not be calm.
Young people during the wedding should not look into each other's eyes, so that family life would not be overshadowed by betrayal.
When the bride and groom returned home after the wedding in the temple, the bridesmaids twisted her hair.
There are many more signs like this. But, today, the church does not require strict adherence to all the rules. Therefore, following signs or beliefs is a personal matter for everyone.
What days do they not get married?
According to church rules, it is not allowed to perform the sacrament of the wedding on the following days:
- during large and strict four fasts (Veliky, Petrov, Assumption and Rozhdestvensky);
- in Easter and cheese weeks;
- in the days between Christmas and Epiphany (Christmas time);
- before the great, temple and twelfth holidays;
- before fast days (Wednesdays, Fridays, Sundays), that is, the wedding ceremony is not held on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday;
- per day and on the days of strict one-day fasts (the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord);
- also, the sacrament of the wedding is not performed at night.
In any case, you need to come to the church in advance and clarify whether it is possible to get married on the day you are interested in, since a large number of holidays and fasts do not have a fixed date, but change every year.
If the wedding was held on one of the days prohibited by the charter of the church, the marriage will still be considered valid.
Photo and video shooting during the wedding in the Orthodox Church
A wedding is a most beautiful ceremony, a sacred sacrament that allows a couple to find a spiritual connection. True, it will be possible to do this only by presenting a marriage certificate, so usually young people go to the registry office, then to church, and only after that they start celebrating the wedding. But many decide on a wedding ceremony not on the wedding day, but several months or years after it. How to prepare for the wedding in this case and in general, is a couple who has been married for several years allowed to get married?
Sometimes it is not possible to get married on the wedding day and the couple postpones this ceremony for a while. And sometimes spouses go to the wedding a few years after the wedding. This waiting period is explained by the desire of the couple to understand the correctness of their choice. On the one hand, it seems to be correct - you need to get married only if there is an internal (spiritual) need for this ceremony, and not, because now it is in fashion. On the other hand, the church recognizes marriage only if it is performed according to its rules, while civil marriage is nothing more than cohabitation, fornication. Does that mean you have to get married on your wedding day? If you strictly adhere to church rules, then yes. But if it is not an innocent virgin who is getting married, then the time of the wedding will no longer play a special role. Therefore, if a couple decided to get married some time after the wedding, then from the point of view of modern standards, there is nothing to worry about.
How to prepare for the wedding?
The ceremony of an Orthodox wedding requires preparation, and it's not just about the guest list and clothes (although you need to think about this too). The main thing is spiritual cleansing, which is why earlier the wedding was preceded by a week fast, and before the ceremony, the couple had to be present at the service, confess and take communion. Now the wedding traditions have been somewhat changed to suit modern mores. So, fasting is reduced to 3 days, and confession and communion are allowed on the eve of the wedding.
You also need to take care of the wedding set - you can buy it in church shops or prepare it yourself. You will need rings, a towel, wedding candles, 4 handkerchiefs for candles (from the same fabric as the towel), icons of the Savior and the Virgin.
How to dress for a wedding?
Many people think that the bride is obliged to attend the ceremony in a wedding dress, but this is not entirely true - it is possible to wear any dress or suit with a skirt that meets the following requirements.
- back and shoulders closed;
- the length of the skirt is not above the knee;
- Preferably white clothing.
The head must also be covered - with a mantilla, shawl, scarf or veil.
As for makeup, it should not be too bright. And no lipstick (in extreme cases, wipe off before entering the church) - no one will allow you to kiss the cross with painted lips.
The appearance of the groom should also match the occasion - clothing that covers the body (not jeans or a tracksuit), preferably in light colors.
The same requirements are imposed on the clothes of witnesses at the wedding. In addition, all those present at the wedding - the bride and groom, witnesses and guests must have pectoral crosses.
The best time for a wedding
It is known that during fasts, great and church holidays, weddings are not performed. Also, a couple will not be married on Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday. And Sunday is considered the best day for a wedding, and there are many who want to consecrate their relationship. Therefore, it is necessary to agree in advance on the day of the wedding. 
Requirements for witnesses at the wedding
Witnesses must be baptized. After the ceremony, they become spiritual relatives, and if they subsequently want to get married, the church will not approve their marriage. However, the witnesses are allowed to be already married. The role of witnesses at the wedding is to hold the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds throughout the ceremony (about 40 minutes). But in some churches, the main attributes of the wedding are placed on the heads of future spouses. Therefore, all the subtleties should be clarified in the church in which you plan to conduct the ceremony.
One of the seven sacraments of the Orthodox Church is marriage, that is, the wedding ceremony. In the distant past, church marriage was so common that young couples did not even think about whether they needed it or not, especially since marriages were concluded only by the church, but then they forgot about the wedding in the Orthodox Church for many years, not that they forgot, but just a wedding in the church was banned, and the government began to answer for marriage. But in the 1990s, many young couples returned to the wedding ceremony, and today almost every second Orthodox couple goes to church to get married.
Yes, it has become fashionable, but alas, not everyone understands the very essence of the sacrament of marriage, and for them the rite is just a beautiful ritual, those who know everything about the wedding approach this issue more deliberately, because an oath is given to God in fidelity and eternal love. In this article, we have collected all the important points that you need to consider if you decide to conduct the sacrament of the wedding.
A bit of history
It is not known exactly when church marriage appeared, but most likely it happened simultaneously with the advent of Christianity in the 1st century. But, nevertheless, the sacrament of marriage is mentioned in the Bible, in the Old Testament, which describes the process of the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah, namely, first the matchmaking and the discussion of the dowry, the giving of gifts, the blessing and the festive feast.
Of course, since those times, some symbolic actions have remained, and some have disappeared forever. For example, in the 14th century, the ceremony was supplemented by the exchange of wedding rings, and in the 15th century, a triple blessing with church candles. In the 17th century, the financial side appeared - the payment of compensation in the event of a divorce, and already from the 18th century to 1918, after the marriage ceremony, witnesses put their signatures in the metric book of acts. Today, the sacrament of the wedding is not an easy process, so you need to carefully prepare for it.
Preparing for the wedding
The very first thing a young couple should do when they first talk about a wedding is to hold the sacrament of communion and repentance. Remember that confession is not long stories about your life, and even more so it is not an excuse for your sinful deeds, it is a desire to cleanse from them. Before communion and repentance, you must keep a weekly fast, or at least three days, exclude meat, milk and eggs. Also, the young must endure the Liturgy.
After repentance follows the sacrament of communion, union with God. If you do not know how to properly prepare for these rites, then it is best to consult with the priest. Yes, even if you know all this, you still have to talk and get to know the priest. But first you will need to choose a church, and do it better, at least 2 weeks in advance. Then decide on the priest who will marry you. And he will help you decide on the date of the wedding, tell you what church marriage means, what rules and how long the ceremony will take.
You will have to purchase all the obligatory paraphernalia for the ceremony in advance, select witnesses or best men, and be sure to understand how to behave in church, but first things first.
How to choose a wedding date?
It is very fashionable and modern to get married on the same day as the registration of marriage. But this is very hard to do physically, and most likely you will inadvertently violate the rules of the wedding. The sacrament of the wedding does not last 10, 15 or 30 minutes, this ritual is quite long, from two hours. This must be taken into account. Remember, after the registry office, the newlyweds drink a glass of champagne, and this is unacceptable, coming to church tipsy, this also applies to other guests. Therefore, it is best to register a marriage in the registry office and have a wedding in a church on different days.
The church does not crown every day, young people get married only on certain days of the week, namely Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. In addition, there are many days of fasting and church holidays, in which the sacrament of the wedding is also impossible. The Orthodox have 4 long fasts (Great, Petrov, Christmas, and Assumption), as well as church holidays:
- Maslenitsa week
- Week after Easter
- Christmas time
You can find out the dates and duration of holidays and fasts according to the church calendar, which changes every year, or contact any church with this question. And one more thing, which is important, the bride's marriage day should not coincide with the day of menstruation. Well, in today's world, it's easy to know ahead of time. In any case, in order to determine the date of the wedding, consult with your priest.
Conditions for a wedding
Two kinds of conditions will be taken into account before the church marriage, namely social and religious.
Social conditions:
- Of course, without a stamp in the passport, the sacrament of marriage cannot take place.
- If there is a stamp in the passport with another person, this will also cause the church to refuse to conduct the sacrament of marriage.
- The church forbids marriage among relatives.
- It is also necessary to take into account the age of the young couple. In Russia, you can marry from the age of 18. Only in isolated and special cases can a bride be 16 years old.
- People with mental illness shouldn't get married.
Now for the religious conditions:
- Young people must be baptized
- A church marriage should not be forced, for example, if the groom is an atheist, and his relatives insist on a wedding. It is unacceptable.
- If the bride and groom are the godparents of the same person, then it turns out that they are already in a church relationship, the church will refuse to marry such a couple.
- You can only get married three times in your whole life, and then only if previous marriages were dissolved according to all Orthodox laws.
Attributes for a wedding
For church marriage, you will need to purchase special attributes that can be found in any church shop.
- Wedding rings are not the same as engagement rings. Wedding rings are exchanged at the registry office, and wedding rings are necessary for the wedding ceremony in the church. It is not necessary to buy expensive wedding rings, you can buy modest rings without stones in the church shop. Only engraving is allowed. Wedding rings are not jewelry or jewelry, they are a symbol of eternal fidelity. But sometimes these rules are neglected, and wedding rings are used for weddings, which are worn in the registry office.
- The wedding pair of icons is the Icon of the Kazan Mother of God and the icon of Jesus Christ. A man is blessed with an icon of Christ, as a protector of his family, and a woman is blessed with an icon of the Virgin, as a keeper of comfort and home. You can buy icons yourself, or your parents can give them as a gift. Icons remain with the young for life, as a talisman from troubles and hardships. A couple of icons are purchased in advance, as they need to be consecrated.
- Wedding candles, just like icons, should be kept in the family of the young all their lives. There is a belief that candles help a woman give birth to healthy babies, or in case of strong quarrels, it is necessary to light these candles.
- Every baptized person has crosses, so it is necessary to enter the church for a wedding with crosses. If you do not have it, but you are baptized, then you can buy a cross in a church shop and consecrate it from the priest.
- Towels and towels are also necessary elements of the wedding ritual; wedding candles are wrapped in towels, which the young people hold during the ceremony so that dripping wax does not burn their hands. For the ceremony of marriage, two towels are needed, on one the young people stand with their feet, and with the other towel they tie their hands. A folk sign says that the one who first sets foot on the towel will be the main one in the family.
Wedding dresses also have their own principles, especially for the bride's attire. For the groom, the requirements for clothing are minimal, he must wear a classic suit, no matter what color, it doesn’t matter, a headdress is not allowed on a man, that’s probably all. Guests must also follow some of the church's dress code rules. For men, the rules are the same as for the groom, and women must wear modest and closed clothes, a headdress in the form of a scarf is required, trousers are undesirable for women. With the dress of the bride, the situation is much more complicated.
If the bride chose a chic and revealing outfit for the wedding itself, then, of course, it is not suitable for the wedding. Wedding attire should be modest and unpretentious, necklines, open shoulders, arms and back are not allowed, and, of course, a church wedding dress cannot be short. With regards to color, white is best, but other light shades are also possible. If you do not have the financial ability to buy two dresses, but at the same time you really want to wear a luxurious wedding dress, it does not matter, let this dress have a cape in addition, so you can hide your bare arms and shoulders. In general, the church welcomes modest light dresses with a long train.
By the way, a trouser outfit for a wedding is also not suitable. It is better to choose a veil for a wedding that is not too lush, since it must be remembered that the bride will hold a candle with a flame, and too lush a veil can easily ignite. And about shoes, for a church wedding, it is not recommended to choose high-heeled shoes, since you will have to stand for more than one hour.
Sign: The wedding dress should be one-piece and have a train that will symbolize a long family life. And also a wedding dress in the church should not be rented, it is better to buy a completely new one.
The bride's makeup also plays an important role, it is possible that the priest will forbid applying bright makeup, and gentle and natural makeup will be the way out. Also try not to wear too much perfume.
Witnesses
Witnesses for the very sacrament of the wedding are optional, they are needed in order to hold the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. If this is not necessary, and young people can put crowns on their heads, then there is no need for best men. But still, most often witnesses are present at the wedding ceremony. Previously, only men acted as best man, but now this role is performed by a couple. A couple can be either married or not, but if a man and a woman were not married during the ceremony, but, for example, after some time fell in love with each other, then they are forbidden to get married, since they are already spiritual relatives.
Taking as witnesses friends who meet and live together, but are not married, is also prohibited, since the church does not accept cohabitation. The most optimal choice as best men will be a happy couple who have been married for a long time, as an example for a future family.
The wedding process takes place in several stages:
- Betrothal. Before entering the temple, the priest blesses the young couple three times and hands them lighted candles. After reading a short prayer, the priest puts a wedding ring on the groom, then the bride and groom exchange wedding rings three times. The bride should stand to the left of the groom. Wedding candles must be held with the left hand, and baptized with the right. From now on, the couple are officially the bride and groom.
- Then the young couple goes to the temple and the very sacrament of the wedding begins. Before the wedding, the priest asks the young if they are ready for marriage. Having received a negative answer, the priest proceeds to the ritual. First, he reads prayers for a long time with requests for well-being and love, then crowns are laid over the heads of the newlyweds. After reading the prayer, the bride and groom drink red wine from one cup, it is the bride who should drink everything and to the last drop. Then the priest leads the young people around the lectern, at the end of the circle, the crowns are removed from the young people.
- The last step is prayer. After the prayer, the priest brings icons to the newlyweds, which they must kiss and cross themselves. The whole sacrament of the wedding ends with the ringing of church bells.
Sign: It is forbidden to look at each other during the ceremony in the church, this promises infidelity.
By the way, special attention is paid to such a ritual as the ceremony of removing the veil. This ritual is rooted in the distant past. Only then a wreath was used instead of a veil. The rite of removal of the veil symbolizes the transition of a woman from girlish life to married life.
How to behave in church?
We offer you a small set of rules on how to behave in church and what not to do.
- In no case do not allow yourself to be late to church for the sacrament of the wedding. This applies to absolutely everyone. Moreover, if you want to light candles, it is better to arrive 20 minutes earlier and calmly pray for health and peace, without interfering with the service.
- Don't forget to wear a cross if you are baptized.
- Before entering the church and when leaving it, all Orthodox are baptized with their right hands and bow.
- During the wedding, wandering around the church is strictly prohibited.
- It is not customary to sit in the church, you must be ready to endure the entire ceremony, otherwise, leaving during the ceremony will be regarded as disrespectful. If you are unsure of yourself, don't go.
- Turn off your mobile phones before entering the church.
- At the entrance to the church, men must remove their hats, and women, on the contrary, must cover their heads.
- Drunk people are not allowed to come to church.
- You need to behave calmly and with restraint in God's temple, you can not shout and talk loudly.
- During the wedding, it is not forbidden to use a camera and video filming, but it is better to agree on this in advance.
- It is strictly forbidden to stand with your back to the altar, and even more so to go behind it.
Getting married in a church does not mean a simple marriage, it is something more, it is a kind of oath of lifelong fidelity to your chosen one, therefore, it is necessary to approach the issue of the sacrament of marriage without emotions and with pure thoughts. You can go to the registry office to get married and divorce as much as you like, but you should get married only once in your life. A wedding is a marriage that takes place in heaven, where divorce is inappropriate, so think about whether you are ready for a church marriage so that you don’t commit a big sin in the future. God bless you for a happy marriage!