Psychology of aggressive behavior. Female aggression in the family, what are the reasons and what to do

Aggressiveness- this is a stable characteristic of the subject, which reflects his tendency to behave, the purpose of which is to cause harm to the world around him or to express anger, anger directed at external objects. Psychologists say that aggressiveness was not inherent in humanity from the very beginning, and babies learn a model of aggressive behavior from the first days of their lives.

Aggressiveness from the Latin language means to attack and characterizes a personality trait that prefers the use of violent methods to achieve one's goals.

Causes of aggressiveness

Personal characteristics that affect the development of a person's aggressiveness are as follows:

- tendency to impulsiveness;

- thoughtfulness, distraction;

- emotional susceptibility, as well as a feeling of vulnerability, dissatisfaction, discomfort;

- hostile attribution, which refers to the assessment, as well as the interpretation of intentions, actions as aggressive.

Aggressiveness in humans is noted in a number of nervous and mental disorders.

The reasons for a person’s aggressiveness are: various kinds of conflicts, intimate problems, abuse of alcohol, psychotropic drugs, narcotic drugs, unsettled personal life, personal problems, feelings of loneliness, mental trauma, strict upbringing, watching thrillers, overwork, and refusal to rest.

The term "aggressive" in relation to athletes began to be used as a characteristic that means perseverance in overcoming obstacles, as well as activity in achieving goals.

Signs of aggressiveness

Aggressiveness is expressed in such features as conflict, dominance, lack of social cooperation.

Signs of a person's aggressiveness are manifested in a painful relationship between the perception of one's own Self and other people.

Signs of aggressiveness in children are their physical actions: slamming doors, trying to beat others, tearing, biting, spoiling things out of anger, breaking dishes.

Types of aggressive reactions Bass-Darky questionnaire:

- physical aggression, marked by the use of physical force against other persons;

- indirect aggression, characterized by a roundabout directed at other persons or not directed at anyone;

- irritation, marked by a willingness to show negative feelings with slight arousal (rudeness, irascibility);

- negativism, marked by an oppositional demeanor (from passive resistance to active struggle);

- resentment, marked by envy, as well as hatred of others for fictional and real actions;

- suspiciousness, which is characterized by distrust, caution towards people who allegedly plan and cause harm;

- a sense of guilt, expressed in the subject's possible conviction that he is a bad person who does bad deeds, and therefore feels remorse;

- verbal aggression, which is expressed in negative feelings (squeals, screams, threats, curses).

Aggressiveness in men

Passive aggressiveness in men is marked by procrastination and indecision before making important decisions. Such men are not responsible, extremely dismissive of deadlines and do not keep promises. This type is looking for any pretexts for a quarrel with relatives, while keeping a distance and not allowing personal space. The reason is the fear of dependence, so a man, coping with fear on his own, tries to manage and command others. Such a man does not admit his mistakes, but only blames the circumstances around him, demanding to find the culprits.

The reason for this behavior is the social and family atmosphere, where they keep silent about their desires, needs, considering this a manifestation of selfishness. On a subconscious level, such upbringing instills the idea that wishing for something for oneself is wrong and unacceptable in principle.

Passive aggressiveness in men is corrected only by a calm, gentle attitude and a gradual push to the desired behavior.

Male aggressiveness differs in its attitudes from female aggressiveness. Men often resort to an open form of aggressiveness. They are not worried about anxiety, guilt, it is important for them to achieve their goal, so aggressiveness acts as a kind of behavior model.

Increased aggressiveness in men is marked by a lack of a culture of behavior, a demonstration of confidence, strength, and independence.

Aggression associated with sexual arousal is an attack or a series of violent acts between sexual partners. Aggression is opposed to love-erotic relationships. Individuals experience erotic pleasure from sexual aggressiveness (masochism, sadism, sadomasochism).

Psychological concepts give such an explanation for the appearance of sexual aggressiveness: it arises as a result of experience, that is, deceived expectations in obtaining satisfaction. This does not only apply to intimate desires or needs. Aggression is explained by the compensatory nature. For example, the repetition or continuation of past violence, or the experience of violence that is practiced in other areas.

Research in this area confirms that brutal sexual violence, as well as the beating of women by men, often occur among those strata where a woman is discriminated against and oppressed, is in a dependent position. At the same time, the majority of clients of prostitutes who are fond of sadomasochism are men from the upper strata, who thus realize staged aggression.

Aggressiveness in women

Women use psychological implicit aggression, they worry about the rebuff that the victim may give. Aggression in women is noted during outbursts of anger to relieve nervous and mental stress.

Increased aggressiveness is observed in older representatives and is explained by manifestations in the absence of other negative character traits and reasons for such behavior. Increased aggressiveness in women is characterized by a change in character traits in a negative direction.

Aggression in women is provoked by such factors:

- hormonal, congenital insufficiency, provoked by pathology in early development;

- negative emotional experience from childhood (maltreatment, sexual violence);

- hostile relationship with the mother, as well as childhood mental trauma.

Aggressiveness in children

Causes of children's aggressiveness: condemnation and rejection by adults; destructive emotions of the inner world, with which the child is not able to cope on his own. And misunderstanding and ignorance of the causes of aggression in children leads to open hostility in adults.

How to relieve aggression in children?

Working with aggressive children, the educator, the psychologist should be sensitive to internal problems. Aggressiveness in children is removed by positive attention from the adult to the inner world of the baby.

Only positive attention and acceptance of an aggressive personality by a psychologist, educator, parent, otherwise all correctional work will be reduced to zero and the child will most likely lose confidence in the psychologist and show resistance in further work.

It is important for everyone working with this category of children to take into account a non-judgmental position. This means not making evaluative remarks of this type: “you can’t behave like that”, “it’s not good to talk like that”. These remarks will only push the children away from you and will not contribute to establishing contact.

Correction of aggressiveness in preschoolers

Children's aggressiveness is eliminated by the following principles and corrective work:

- establishing contact with the child;

- non-judgmental perception of the individual, as well as acceptance of it as a whole;

- respect for the personality of the baby;

- a positive attitude towards the inner world.

I would like to note the directions of corrective work with the aggressiveness of children:

- learning the skills of control, as well as managing one's own anger;

- lowering the level of personal anxiety;

- development, the formation of awareness of one's own emotions, as well as the feelings of other people;

- Development of positive self-esteem.

Exercises to reduce aggression:

1. Acquaintance. "Show me your name."

Children call their name and accompany him with an invented movement.

2. The game "Magic Balls".

Goal: relieve emotional stress.

Children are in a circle (sitting, standing). An adult asks them to close their eyes and make a “boat” of their palms. The psychologist puts a colored ball in the palms of all the children, and then asks to warm it or roll it, give it some affection, warmth, breathing on it. Next, it is proposed to open your eyes and look at the ball, talking about the feelings that arose during the exercise.

3. The game "Good ghosts."

Purpose: to teach to throw out the accumulated anger in an acceptable form.

The host offers to play the role of good ghosts, who are a little hooligan and slightly scare each other. At the command of the leader, the children bend their arms at the elbows, while spreading their fingers, and pronounce the sound “u” or any other sound in a loud, scary voice.

4. Draw the mood.

Purpose: to express your mood in a drawing.

Discussing the drawings includes guessing where the mood is.

5. Game: "The dragon bites its tail."

Purpose: to relieve tension, neurotic states, fears.

Cheerful music sounds, the children stand behind each other, holding each other tightly by the shoulders.

The first baby is the “dragon head”, and the last one is the “dragon tail”. The first baby "dragon head" tries to catch the "tail", and he, in turn, dodges it.

6. Game: "My good parrot."

Purpose: to develop a sense of elepoticity, as well as the ability to work together in a group.

The children are in a circle. The psychologist says: a parrot came to visit and wants to play with the children. It is necessary to think about what needs to be done in order for the parrot to like visiting us, and he will definitely fly to them again. The psychologist gives the children a parrot - a toy, offering to stroke, talk affectionately, caress.

7. Game: "Blots".

Purpose: removal of aggressiveness, fears, development of imagination.

Prepare white sheets of paper, gouache. Children take on a brush the paint of the color with which they want to depict a blot. On a white sheet of paper, the children splash their color and fold the sheet in half, but so that the blot makes an imprint on the second half of the sheet.

The sheet is unfolded and they try to understand what or who the blot looks like. If desired, you can finish the blot.

8. Relaxation "On the cloud".

Purpose: removal of emotional, physical stress.

9. Exercise "I am a blade of grass."

Purpose: To teach children to express their feelings.

Children imagine themselves as a blade of grass flying in the wind.

10. Game: "Two roosters quarreled."

Purpose: relieving muscle tension, emotional release.

To the cheerful music, the kids move randomly and push lightly with their shoulders.

11. Game: "Centipede"

Purpose: to teach children how to interact with peers, to promote the rallying of the children's team.

Children (5-8 people) stand up, holding on to the waist of the person in front. The leader’s command sounds and the “Centipede” moves forward, then crouches, crawls between obstacles, jumps on one leg. The main task is not to break the single "chain", and to save the "Centipede".

12. Board joint games.

Purpose: development of attention, ability to concentrate, ability to interact without conflicts.

13. Game: "Cat".

Purpose: to establish a positive attitude, relieve emotional, muscle tension.

Children are located on the carpet. Calm music sounds, the kids come up with a fairy tale about a cat and show how the cat basks in the sun, washes, stretches, scratches the rug with its claws.

14. Game: "Kicking".

Purpose: emotional discharge, as well as the removal of muscle tension.

The child is located on the carpet (lays on his back). The legs are freely extended. Slowly, he begins to kick and touch the floor with his entire foot. The legs are raised high and alternate. For each kick with his foot, the baby says “no”, while increasing the intensity of the blow.

15. The game "Pull yourself together."

Purpose: to teach kids to restrain themselves.

Explain to the kids that when they have unpleasant emotions: irritation, anger, a desire to hit, then it is possible to “pull themselves together” and stop their emotions. To do this, take a deep breath, and then exhale (several times). Then we straighten up, close our eyes and count to 10, smile, open our eyes.

16. The game "Fortress".

Purpose: the game allows children to show aggression in an adequate form of play. Of interest is the diagnosis: who will choose whom in the team.

Children at the request of the guys are divided into two teams. Teams build a fortress for themselves (from the constructor). On command, one team defends the fortress, while the other storms. Weapons - balls, inflatable balls, soft toys act.

17. The game "Rvaklya".

Purpose: to relieve tension and release destructive energy.

The child is offered to crumple, tear, trample the paper and do whatever he wants with it, and then throw it into the basket.

18. Game "Zoo".

Purpose: Helps relieve stress.

Children are offered to "turn" into animals at will. Initially, children sit on chairs - "cages". Each individual kid depicts the selected animal, while others try to guess who he shows. When everyone has "recognized" everyone, the chairs - the cages are freed and the "animals" - the children come out to jump, run, growl, scream.

19. Game: Velcro.

Goal: relieve muscle tension, rally the children's group.

All the kids move, jump, run around the room, and two kids, holding hands, try to catch their peers, saying: "I'm a sticky stick, I want to catch you." Whoever is caught, the Stickies take by the hand and attach him to their company. After all the babies become Velcro, all the children dance in a circle to calm music.

20. Exercise "Cam".

Purpose: to displace aggression and to achieve muscle relaxation.

During the game, we give any small toy into the child’s hand and ask him to tightly squeeze his fist.

Holding the fist compressed, and then opening it, we see a beautiful toy on the palm.

21. Game: "Compliments."

Purpose: To help toddlers see the positive aspects of themselves, as well as feel that they are accepted and appreciated by others.

The game begins with the following words: “I like you…” The child says this phrase to all participants in the game, both adults and children. The other members also compliment everyone else. After the game, you should discuss how the participants felt, what they learned about themselves, whether they liked playing and giving compliments.

Aggressiveness treatment

How to deal with aggressiveness? Helps to fight with own aggression. Effectively use the system of punishments and rewards when you personally act as an object, as well as in the role of educator. Deprivation of certain benefits can be used as a punishment, and you can reward yourself with your favorite pleasure. Actions to change personal attitude to the situation are effective.

How to reduce aggressiveness? When anger and the first signs of aggression appear, pause. Try to get out of this situation on your own or get distracted. Close your eyes, count to ten, mentally fill your mouth with water when talking to an annoying person. It is possible that this will save you from manifestations of unnecessary aggression.

There have always been and will always be things that you are not able to change or remove from your life. You can be angry with them, but there is another approach: try to accept them and start treating them calmly. It is very important to prevent chronic fatigue, as it underlies irritability and aggression. At the first signs of chronic fatigue, give yourself a break (take a day off, a day off).

A person turns into an angry and aggressive person with chronic dissatisfaction with his life. In order for aggressiveness to leave your life, you need to make positive changes in it. Be attentive to yourself and try to live for your pleasure, because a contented person is more often balanced and calm than a dissatisfied one.

The daily roundup of news constantly frightens the average layman with the number of acts of violence in all corners of the world. Yes, and everyday life is replete with quarrels, screams and other manifestations of hostility.

Aggression in modern society is perceived as evil and subjected to public condemnation. However, there are many examples of hostile behavior of both individuals and entire groups of people.

Why do people cause suffering to each other, what are the causes of interpersonal and global conflicts? There are no clear answers to these questions, but the study of the phenomenon of aggressiveness in various aspects of human life will help to better understand the problem.

What is aggression?

In the world there are many approaches to determining the cause, content and types of counteraction to such behavior. So, some psychologists believe that aggression is an innate human quality associated with instinctive impulses. Others correlate this concept with the need for an individual to discharge (frustration), others perceive it as a manifestation of a person’s social learning that arose on the basis of past experience.

Thus, this type of personality manifestation is intentional behavior that is destructive in nature and leads to physical or psychological harm and discomfort to other individuals.

Aggression in psychology, and in everyday life, is often associated with anger, anger, rage, that is, extremely negative emotions. In fact, hostility can also arise in a calm, cold-blooded state. Such behavior may be the result of negative attitudes (the desire to harm or offend) or be unmotivated. According to many experts, a prerequisite for aggressive behavior should be its focus on another individual. That is, punching the wall and beating dishes are manifestations of not hostile, but expressive behavior. But outbursts of uncontrolled negative emotions can subsequently be redirected to living beings.

Historical Approaches

The definition of aggression is carried out through various approaches. The main ones are:

1. normative approach. Particular attention is paid to the illegality of actions and violation of generally accepted norms. Aggressive behavior is considered to be behavior that includes 2 main conditions: there are consequences that are detrimental to the victim and at the same time the norms of behavior are violated.
2. Deep psychological approach. The instinctive nature of aggression is affirmed. It is an integral innate feature of the behavior of any person.
3. Target approach. Explores hostile behavior from the point of view of its intended purpose. According to this direction, aggression is a tool of self-affirmation, evolution, adaptation and appropriation of vital resources and territories.
4. Efficient approach. Emphasizes the consequences of such behavior.
5. Intentional approach. Evaluates the motivations of the subject of hostility, which prompted him to such actions.
6. emotional approach. Reveals the psycho-emotional aspect of the behavior and motivation of the aggressor.
7. A multidimensional approach includes an analysis of all factors of aggression with a deep study of the most significant, from the point of view of an individual author.

A large number of approaches to the definition of this psychological phenomenon does not provide an exhaustive definition of it. Too extensive and multifaceted is the concept of "aggression". The types of aggression are very diverse. But still, it is necessary to understand and classify them in order to better understand the causes and develop ways to deal with this serious problem of our time.

Aggression. Types of aggression

It is rather difficult to create a unified classification of the types of aggression and its causes. However, in world practice, its definition is often used according to the method of American psychologists A. Bass and A. Darki, which includes five components:

1. Physical aggression - physical impact is used on another individual.
2. Indirect aggression - occurs in a hidden way (evil banter, the creation of gossip) or is not directed at a specific person (unreasonable screams, stamping of feet, other manifestations of outbursts of rage).
3. Irritation - increased excitability to external stimuli, which often leads to a surge of negative emotions.
4. Verbal aggression is the manifestation of negative feelings through verbal reactions (screeching, screaming, swearing, threats, etc.).
5. Negativism is oppositional behavior that can manifest itself both in a passive and active form of struggle against established laws and traditions.

Types of verbal reactions

The manifestation of aggression in verbal form, according to A. Bass, is divided into three main types:

1. Rejection is a reaction that is built according to the “go away” type and more rude forms.
2. Hostile remarks - formed according to the principle "your presence annoys me."
3. Criticism is aggression directed not specifically at a person, but at his personal items, work, clothes, etc.

Psychologists also distinguish other forms of hostility. So, according to H. Hekhauzen, there is instrumental and hostile aggression. Hostile is an end in itself and brings direct harm to another person. Instrumental is an intermediate phenomenon in achieving a goal (for example, extortion).

Forms of manifestation

Forms of aggression can be very diverse and are divided into the following types of actions:

• negative (destructive) - positive (constructive);
• explicit (open aggression) - latent (hidden);
• direct (directed directly to the object) - indirect (influence through other channels);
• ego-synthonic (accepted by the personality itself) - ego-dystonic (condemned by one's "I");
• physical (violence against a physical object) - verbal (attack with words);
• hostile (the purpose of aggression is direct harm) - instrumental (hostility is only a means to achieve another goal).

The most common manifestations of aggression in everyday life are raising one's voice, slander, insults, coercion, physical force, and the use of weapons. Hidden forms include harmful inaction, withdrawal from contact, self-harm to the point of suicide.

Who can be targeted?

Attacks of aggression can be directed to:

• exceptionally close people - only family members (or one member) are attacked, with others the behavior is normal;
• people not from the family circle - teachers, classmates, doctors, etc.;
• oneself - both on one's own body and on the person, occurs in the form of refusing to eat, mutilating, biting nails, etc .;
• animals, insects, birds, etc.;
• inanimate physical objects - in the form of eating inedible objects;
• symbolic items - passion for aggressive computer games, collecting weapons, etc.

Reasons for aggressive behavior

The reasons for human hostility are also diverse and cause controversy among professional psychologists.

Adherents of biological theory are of the opinion that aggression is:

• innate human reaction associated with (attack is the best defense);
• behavior arising as a result of the struggle for territory and resources (competition in personal and professional spheres);
• hereditary property obtained together with the type of nervous system (unbalanced);
• a consequence of hormonal disorders (excess testosterone or adrenaline);
• a consequence of the use (alcohol, nicotine, drugs).

According to the sociobiological approach, people with similar genes contribute to each other's survival even through self-sacrifice. At the same time, they show aggression towards individuals who are very different from them and share few common genes. This explains the conflict outbreaks between representatives of social, national, religious and professional groups.

Psychosocial theory links increased aggressiveness to a person's quality of life. The worse his condition (did not get enough sleep, hungry, dissatisfied with life), the more hostile he is.

Factors affecting the level of aggressiveness

According to social theory, aggression is a property of a person acquired during life. Moreover, it develops against the background of the following factors:

• (frequent quarrels between parents, the use of physical force on children, lack of parental attention);
• daily display and propaganda of violence on television and in other media.

Psychologists also closely associate the factors of human aggression with such personal qualities:

• dominant style of behavior;
• increased anxiety;
• a tendency to reveal the hostility of the actions of other individuals;
• increased or, conversely, underestimated self-control;
• low self-esteem and frequent infringement of one's own dignity;
• complete lack of potential, including creativity.

How to deal with an aggressor?

Aggression is an action usually aimed at destruction. Therefore, it is necessary to remember some basic rules of behavior with a negatively minded individual:

1. If a person is in a strong psychological arousal, and the problem is insignificant, try to transfer the conversation to another topic, reschedule the discussion, that is, get away from the irritant conversation.
2. It will positively affect mutual understanding if the parties to the conflict look at the problem from the outside, with an unbiased look.
3. It is necessary to try to understand the aggressor. If the cause depends on you, take possible measures to eliminate it.
4. Sometimes it is useful to show empathy and understanding to the aggressor.
5. It also helps to agree with him on those points where he is really right.

Determine what type the aggressor belongs to

Specific methods of counteracting hostility depend directly on the personality variety of the aggressor:

1. Tank type. Very rude and direct people who, in a conflict situation, cut right through. If the issue is not very important, it is better to give in or adapt, let the aggressor blow off steam. You can’t question his rightness, your own opinion should be expressed without emotions, because calmness usually suppresses the rage of such a person.
2. Bomb type. These subjects are not inherently evil, but can flare up like children. In the event of an outbreak of hostility, it is necessary to let the emotions of such a person come out, calm him down and continue to communicate normally, since this does not happen out of evil and often against the will of the aggressor himself.
3. Sniper type. Due to the lack of actual power, it creates conflicts through intrigues. It is important to show the culprit evidence of his behind-the-scenes games and then look for a solution to this issue.
4. Horn type. These people criticize everything in the world, from real problems to imaginary ones. They want to be heard. When contacting such a plan, the aggressor needs to let him pour out his soul, agree with his opinion and try to move the conversation in a different direction. When returning to this topic, you should switch his attention from the problem to the way to solve it.
5. Penknife type. Such people are often ready to help, inferior in many matters. However, this happens only in words, but in practice the opposite is true. When communicating with them, it is necessary to insist on the importance for you of the truth on their part.

How to get rid of discomfort after communication?

In today's world, people have a fairly high level of aggression. This implies the need for a correct response to other people's attacks, as well as control of one's own psycho-emotional state.

At the moment of a hostile reaction, you need to take a deep breath and exhale, count to ten, which will allow you to abstract from a momentary outburst of emotions and rationally look at the situation. It is also useful to tell the opponent about your negative feelings. If all this does not help, you can throw out excess anger with the help of one of the following activities:

• sports, yoga or outdoor activities;
• picnic in nature;
• rest in a karaoke bar or at a disco;
• general cleaning (even with a rearrangement) in the house;
• writing all the negative on paper with its subsequent destruction (it must be torn or burned);
• you can beat the dishes or just a pillow (this option is much cheaper);
• conversation with the closest and, most importantly, understanding people;
• crying also gives a tangible emotional release;
• in the end, you can just do your favorite thing, it will certainly cheer you up.

In more severe cases, a person cannot cope with negative emotions on his own. Then you need to contact a psychotherapist or psychologist. The specialist will help to recognize the causes of this condition, give a definition of aggression in each case, and also find individual methods for resolving this issue.

Causes of child aggression

A very important aspect that cannot be ignored is teenage aggression. It is very important for parents to figure out what caused this behavior, because this will make it possible to further correct the child's reactions. Children's hostility has causes similar to those of adults, but it also has some peculiarities. The main ones are:

• desire to get something;
• the desire to dominate;
• attracting the attention of other children;
• self-affirmation;
• defensive reaction;
• gaining a sense of superiority at the expense of the humiliation of others;
• revenge.

The aggressive behavior of adolescents in half of the cases is the result of miscalculations in education, insufficient or excessive influence, unwillingness to understand the child, or a banal lack of time. This character is formed with an authoritarian type of parental influence, as well as in dysfunctional families.

Aggression in adolescents also occurs in the presence of a number of psychological factors:

• low level of intelligence and communication skills;
• primitivism of play activity;
• weak self-control skills;
• problems with peers;
• low self-esteem.

Left to its own devices, aggression on the part of a child in the future can develop into open conflicts and even in adulthood. Child psychology distinguishes almost the same types of hostility as an adult. Therefore, we will dwell in more detail on the issues of dealing with it, which has some differences from cases with adults.

The child has?

The most important rule in education is the observance of personal example. The child will never respond to the demands of the parents, which are at odds with their own actions.

The reaction to aggression should not be momentary and cruel. The child will take out his anger on others, hiding his real emotions from his parents. But there should be no connivance either, because children are very good at feeling insecure on the part of their parents.

Aggressive behavior of adolescents requires timely prevention, namely the systematic and controlled formation of trusting and friendly relations. Strength and weakness on the part of the parent will only aggravate the situation, only sincerity and trust will really help.

Specific steps to deal with aggression in a child include the following:

1. Teach him self-control.
2. Develop skills to deal with conflict situations.
3. Teach your child to express negative emotions in an adequate way.
4. To instill in him understanding and empathy for other people.

The facts of violence, in which harm is done to specific persons, is called aggression. Every day a person either personally or hears from others about how badly they have been treated.

If we talk about the moral side of this issue, then aggressive behavior is considered bad, evil, unacceptable. But why does a person allow himself to get angry and hurt himself or others?

What is Aggression?

What is aggression? There are many opinions about what aggression is. Some say that aggression is an instinctive reaction and manifestation of a person. Others argue that aggression is due to frustration - the desire to defuse. Still others indicate that aggression is a social phenomenon when a person adopts it from others or is influenced by negative past experiences.

In psychology, aggression is understood as destructive behavior in which a person causes physical harm or creates psychological discomfort to other people. Psychiatry considers aggression as a person's desire to protect themselves from an unpleasant and traumatic situation. Aggression is also understood as a way of self-affirmation.

Aggressive behavior is considered directed at a living object. However, the website of the psychological help site claims that smashing dishes or walls can soon turn into violence against living beings. Aggression is often equated with rage, anger, or anger. However, an aggressive person does not always experience emotions. There are cold-blooded people who become aggressive under the influence of their prejudices, beliefs or views.

What reasons push a person to such behavior? Anger can be directed both at other people and at oneself. The reasons can be different, as well as the forms of manifestation of aggression. Each case is individual. Psychologists note something else: it is important to be able to cope with your own aggression, which manifests itself in every person. If someone needs help, he can get it. This is what the psychological help site does, a site where a person can not only read useful information, but also work out their negative sides, which often interfere with building favorable relationships with others.

Manifestation of aggression

Aggression manifests itself in different ways. Depending on the goal that is achieved by aggressive actions, and the methods of committed actions, aggression can be benign and malignant:

1. Benign aggression refers to courage, courage, ambition, perseverance, bravery.
2. Malignant aggression is understood as violence, rudeness, cruelty.

Every living being is aggressive. In every organism there are genes that allow you to show aggression for the sake of survival, saving yourself from death. So, they distinguish defensive aggression, which occurs at the moment of danger. It is present in all living beings. When a living organism is in danger, it becomes resolute, runs away, attacks, defends itself.

In contrast to this aggression, there is a destructive one, which is inherent only in man. It has no meaning or purpose. It arises only on the basis of emotions, feelings, thoughts of a person who simply did not like something.

There is another manifestation of aggression - pseudo-aggression. It occurs in situations where a person must make every effort to achieve a goal. For example, during a competition, athletes become aggressive to give themselves energy and motivation.

A special manifestation of aggression, which is inherent in all living beings, is the desire for survival. When there is not enough food, there is no intimacy, there is no protection, then the body becomes aggressive. Everything is aimed at survival, which is often associated with infringement of the boundaries and freedom of other living beings.

Anyone can become aggressive. Often the strong provoke the weak, who then also look for weaker personalities in order to recoup them. There is no defense against aggression. For everyone, it manifests itself as a reaction to an external stimulus. Both the one who caused it, and the one who just fell under the arm can become a victim of aggression.

The manifestation of aggression is an expression of discontent and dissatisfaction. It can be either open, when a person knocks on the table or constantly “saws”, or hidden - periodic nit-picking.

Types of aggression

As we consider aggression, its types can be distinguished:

• Physical, when force is applied and specific harm is caused to the body.
• Indirect, when irritation is expressed against another person.
• Resistance to established laws and morality.
• Verbal, when a person verbally shows aggression: screams, threatens, blackmails, etc.
• Envy, hatred, resentment for unfulfilled dreams.
• Suspicion, which manifests itself in distrust of persons when it seems that they are up to something bad.
• Feelings of guilt arising from the thought that a person is bad.
• Direct - the spread of gossip.
• Directed (there is a goal) and disordered (random passers-by become victims).
• Active or passive (“put a spoke in the wheel”).
• Self-hatred is self-hatred.
• Heteroaggression - anger is directed towards others: violence, threats, murders, etc.
• Instrumental, when aggression is used as a method to achieve a goal.
• Reactive, when it manifests itself as a reaction to some external stimulus.
• Spontaneous, when it appears without good reason. It often occurs as a result of internal phenomena, for example, mental illness.
• Motivational (targeted), which is done consciously for the purpose of intentionally causing damage and causing pain.
• Expressive when it manifests itself in facial expressions, gestures, and the voice of a person. His words and actions do not express aggression, however, his posture and tone of voice suggest otherwise.

It is human nature to get angry. And the most important question that worries everyone who has become a victim of someone else's aggression is why they shouted at him, beat him, etc.? Everyone is concerned about the reasons for aggressive behavior, especially if the aggressor did not explain anything. And how aggression is different has already been considered.

Causes of aggression

There are many reasons for aggressive behavior. Aggression is different and happens in different situations, so you should often look at the complex of everything that happens in order to understand the motives of a person’s actions.

1. Substance abuse (alcohol, drugs, etc.). Under the influence of drugs, a person cannot adequately respond to a specific situation.
2. Personal problems that are associated with dissatisfaction in personal relationships, intimacy, loneliness, etc. Any mention of this problem causes a negative reaction.
3. Psychic traumas of childhood. Developed neurosis on the background of dysfunctional relationships with parents.
4. Authoritarian and strict upbringing that develops internal aggression.
5. Watching films and programs where the topic of violence is actively discussed.
6. Inadequate rest, overwork.

Aggression can be a symptom of a serious illness that is often associated with damage to the brain:

• Schizophrenia.
• Encephalitis.
• Neurasthenia.
• Meningitis.
• Epileptoid psychopathy, etc.

Public influence should not be excluded. Religious movements, propaganda, racial hatred, morality, images of politicians or strong personalities that are aggressive develop a similar quality in observers.

Often the people who caused the harm cite a bad mood or even a mental disorder. In fact, only 12% of all aggressive people are mentally ill. Other personalities show their negative emotions as a result of an incorrect reaction to what is happening, as well as a lack of self-control.

Aggression is noted as a person's dissatisfaction with life in general or a specific case in particular. Accordingly, the main cause is dissatisfaction, which a person does not eliminate by favorable actions.

Verbal aggression

Almost everyone has experienced this form of aggression. Verbal aggression is the most common and obvious. Firstly, the tone of the speaker's voice changes: he switches to a shout, raises his voice, makes it more rude. Secondly, the context of what is being said changes.

Psychologists note many forms of verbal aggression. A person in everyday life is faced with such manifestations of it:

1. Insults, threats, blackmail.
2. Slander, gossip.
3. Silence in response to human questions, refusal to communicate, ignoring replicas.
4. Refusal to protect another person who is being criticized.

The question still remains whether silence is a way of aggression. There is no clear answer here. It all depends on the reasons for the silence of the person who performs this action. If silence occurs with accompanying aggressive emotions, anger, unwillingness to speak, because it can be rude, then we are talking about verbal aggression of a passive nature. However, if a person is silent because he has not heard or is not interested in the topic of the conversation, therefore he wants to transfer it to another topic, remains calm and friendly, then there is no question of any aggression.

Due to the social system and morality, which punishes everyone who shows physical aggression, people are forced to use the only way to manifest it - words. Aggression is openly expressed in specific threats, insults and humiliation of the personality of another. Secretly aggression is manifested by persecution and pressure on a person, for example, by spreading gossip. Although these types of verbal aggression are unacceptable, a person is not deprived of liberty for them. That's why people continue to use this look as a way to communicate with those they are unhappy with.

Speech aggression

Let us dwell directly on the verbal form of manifestation of aggression, which is the most common in society. Speech aggression is manifested in swearing, negative assessments (criticism), offensive words, obscene speech, mocking intonation, rude irony, indecent hints, raised voice.

What the aggressor does causes irritation and indignation. Aggression of both the first and second interlocutors arises on the basis of negative emotions that arise immediately or after some time. Some people immediately talk about what angers them, others only after a while begin to show their aggression in various ways towards those who humiliated or insulted them.

Often, verbal aggression is the result of a person's dislike for a certain group of people. For example, low social status can provoke an unfriendly attitude of the individual towards the one with whom he communicates. Such confrontation is possible both in the ascending hierarchy and in the descending one. For example, latent aggression is often manifested in subordinates in relation to the boss and in the boss in relation to subordinates. Subordinates often feel jealous of the high position of leadership, as well as his commanding tone. The boss may hate subordinates because he considers them stupid, weak, inferior beings.

Rarely, the causes of verbal aggression are education, mental characteristics, and a breakdown.

Undoubtedly, society considers the issue of not only extinguishing negative emotions in itself when they arise, but also preventing conflicts with people who show anger. It should be understood that sometimes aggression is acceptable because it helps in achieving certain goals, for example, suppressing the enemy. However, this method should not be used as a universal one.

Approaches to aggression

Scientists from various fields of science are considering approaches to aggression. For each representative, it means something different. The normative approach perceives aggression as destructive behavior that does not comply with the norms of morality and ethics of society. The criminal approach also considers aggression as an act of an illegal act, which is aimed at causing physical and moral harm to a living object.

• The deep psychological approach perceives aggressive behavior as instinctive, inherent in all living beings.
• The target approach perceives aggression as a purposeful action. From the point of view of achieving the goal, evolution, adaptation, appropriation of important resources, dominance.
• Schwab and Koeroglou consider aggressive behavior as a person's desire to establish the integrity of his life. When it is violated, a person becomes aggressive.
• Kaufma considers aggression as a way of acquiring the resources necessary for life, which is dictated by the natural need for survival.
• Erich Fromm viewed aggressive behavior as a desire to dominate and dominate living beings.
• Wilson characterized the aggressive nature of a person as a desire to eliminate the actions of another subject who, by his actions, infringes on his freedom or genetic survival.
• Matsumoto defined aggression as an act that causes pain and harm, physical or mental, to another individual.
• Shcherbina characterized verbal aggression as a verbal manifestation of feelings, intentions and desires in relation to another person.
• Cognitive theory considers aggression as a way of learning to contact a person with external factors.
• Other theories combine the above concepts to understand the nature of aggressive behavior.

Forms of aggression

Erich Fromm identified the following forms of aggression:

• Reactive. When a person realizes that his freedom, life, dignity or property is in danger, he shows aggression. Here he can defend himself, take revenge, be jealous, envy, be disappointed, etc.
• Archaic bloodlust.
• Game. A person sometimes just wants to show their dexterity and skills. It is at this moment that he can resort to vicious jokes, mockery, sarcasm. There is no hate or anger here. A person is simply playing something that can irritate his interlocutor.
• Compensatory (malignant). It is a manifestation of destructiveness, violence, cruelty, which helps a person to make his life full, not boring, filled.

A person who becomes prone to aggression has the following characteristics:

1. Susceptibility, vulnerability, acute experience of discomfort.
2. Impulsiveness.
3. Absent-mindedness, which leads to emotional aggressiveness, and thoughtfulness, which provokes instrumental aggressiveness.
4. Hostile interpretation of what is happening.

A person is not able to completely get rid of his aggression, because sometimes it is useful and necessary. It is here that he allows himself to express his nature. Only a person who knows how to control his emotions (without suppressing them) is able to fully live. Aggression only in rare cases becomes constructive compared to those episodes when it is used in full force.

Teen Aggression

Quite often, psychologists note aggression in childhood. It becomes very bright in adolescence. It is this stage that becomes the most emotional. Adolescent aggression can manifest itself against anyone: peers, parents, animals, younger children. A common cause of aggression is self-affirmation. The manifestation of strength in an aggressive form seems to be a sign of greatness and power.

Adolescent aggression is an intentional act aimed at causing harm. Remaining frequent are cases where three parties are involved:

1. The aggressor is the teenager himself.
2. A victim is a person who is targeted by a teenager's aggression.
3. Spectators are people who can become bystanders or provocateurs who provoke aggression in a teenager. They do not participate in the process of manifestation of aggression, but only observe what the aggressor and his victim are doing.

Adolescents of different sexes show aggression in the following ways:

• Boys tease, trip, fight, kick.
• Girls boycott, gossip, get offended.

The place and age of the aggressor does not matter, since this emotion manifests itself at any time from an early age.

Teenage aggression is explained by psychologists by the changes that occur during puberty. A former child who has not yet become an adult is afraid of the future, is not ready for responsibility and independence, and does not know how to control his emotional experiences. A significant role here is played by relationships with parents, as well as the influence of the media.

Here are the types of aggressive teenagers:

1. Hyperactive, who grew up in a family where everything was allowed to him.
2. Touchy, which is characterized by vulnerability, irritability.
3. Oppositional defiant, who defiantly opposes people whom he does not consider his authority.
4. Aggressive-fearful, in which fears and suspicion are manifested.
5. Aggressive-insensitive, which is not characterized by sympathy, empathy.

Male aggression

Men are often the standards of aggression. It seems that women shouldn't be as aggressive as men. However, this feeling is common to everyone. Aggression of men often manifests itself in an open form. At the same time, the stronger sex does not feel guilt and anxiety. For them, this emotion is a kind of companion that helps to achieve goals and form a special model of behavior.

Scientists put forward the theory that male aggression is a genetic factor. In all ages, men had to conquer territories and lands, wage wars, protect their families, etc. At the same time, representatives of the weaker sex note this quality, which manifests itself in dominance and leadership, as attractive to themselves.

A modern man has many reasons why aggression is manifested in him:

• Dissatisfaction with their social and financial situation.
• Lack of a culture of behavior.
• Lack of self-confidence.
• The absence of other forms of manifestation of their independence and strength.

In the current situation, when a man is required to be financially viable and successful, while there are practically no opportunities to achieve these statuses, the stronger sex has a high level of anxiety. Each time, society reminds a man in various ways of how insolvent he is. Often this is reinforced by the disorder of personal life or the lack of sexual relations with women.

Men are trained to keep their feelings to themselves. However, aggression comes out, which is a consequence of the disorder of life. It is difficult for a man to use all his possibilities in a world where he must be cultured and benevolent, since anger and rage are often punishable.

Aggression of women

Aggression is often associated with male behavior. However, women are also prone to discontent, which just manifests itself in slightly different forms. Being a weaker creature than a man, a woman tries to express her aggression a little softly. If the victim appears strong or equal in strength, then the woman's aggression is moderate. If we are talking about a child at whom aggression is directed, then a woman may not restrain herself.

Being a more emotional and social being, a woman is prone to mild or hidden aggression. Women become more aggressive as they get older. Psychologists associate this with dementia and a deterioration in character in a negative direction. At the same time, a woman's satisfaction with her own life remains important. If she is unhappy, unhappy, then her inner tension increases.

Often the aggressiveness of a woman is associated with internal tension and emotional outbursts. A woman is no less subject to various restrictions and obligations than a man. She must create a family and give birth to children, always be beautiful and kind. If a woman does not have good reasons for kindness, a man for creating a family and having children, physiological data for gaining beauty, this greatly depresses her.

The cause of female aggression is often:

• Hormonal imbalance.
• Mental disorders.
• Childhood trauma, hostile attitude towards the mother.
• Negative experiences with the opposite sex.

From childhood, a woman is made dependent on a man. She must be "for-husband." And when relationships with the opposite sex do not add up, which is common in modern society, this causes internal tension and dissatisfaction.

Aggression in the elderly

The most unpleasant and sometimes incomprehensible phenomenon is aggression in the elderly. Children are brought up in the spirit of "respect for elders", as they are smarter and wiser. Their knowledge helps the world become a better place. However, older people are practically no different from younger brothers. The manifestation of aggression by older people becomes a weak quality that does not command respect.

The reason for the aggressiveness of the elderly is a change in life as a result of social degradation. Upon retirement, a person loses his former activity. Here memory decreases, health deteriorates, the meaning of life is lost. An elderly person feels forgotten, unnecessary, lonely. If this is reinforced by a poor existence and lack of interests and hobbies, then the elderly person either becomes depressed or becomes aggressive.

You can call the aggression of older people a way of communicating with others, a method of attracting attention to themselves. Here are the forms of aggression:

1. Grumpiness.
2. Irritability.
3. Resistance to everything new.
4. protest attitude.
5. Baseless accusations and insults.
6. High tendency to conflict.

The main problem of older people is loneliness, especially after the death of one of the spouses. If at the same time children do not pay much attention to an elderly person, then he feels acute loneliness.

Degeneration or infection of brain cells also affects the change in human behavior at any age. Since these phenomena occur mostly in old age, doctors first rule out brain disease as a cause of aggression.

Husband's aggression

In love relationships, the most discussed topic is the aggressiveness of husbands. As women express their despotism in a different way, a vivid manifestation of male aggression becomes common. The causes of conflicts and quarrels in the family are:

1. Unequal distribution of responsibilities.
2. Dissatisfaction with intimate relationships.
3. Different understanding of the rights and obligations of spouses.
4. Not meeting your relationship needs.
5. Unequal contribution of both parties to the relationship.
6. Lack of significance and value of a person by a partner.
7. Financial difficulties.
8. Failure to solve all emerging problems, their accumulation and periodic disputes because of them.

Many problems can cause aggression in a husband, but social status, material wealth and sexual satisfaction become the most important. If a man is not satisfied in all plans, then in the usual way he is looking for the guilty one - his wife. She is not sexy enough to want, does not inspire him to make money, does not become his mainstay, etc.

A dissatisfied and insecure man begins to find fault, quarrel, point out, command a woman. Thus, he tries to normalize his inferior life. If we analyze the situation, it turns out that aggression in husbands arises on the basis of their complexes and insolvency, and not because of their wives.

The mistake of women with aggressive husbands is that they try to build relationships. It is the husbands who should correct the situation, not the women. Here the wives make the following mistakes:

• They talk about their hopes and fears, which further convinces their husbands that they are weak.
• They share their plans, which gives their husbands another reason to criticize them.
• They share their successes, expecting their husbands to rejoice in them.
• They try to find common topics for conversation, but are faced with silence and coldness.

Treatment of aggression

The treatment of aggression is understood not as a medical elimination of the problem, but as a psychological one. Only in rare cases are tranquilizers and antidepressants used, which can calm the nervous system. However, a person will never completely get rid of aggressive behavior. Therefore, the treatment of aggression is understood as the development of skills to control it and understand the current situation.

If aggression is shown in your address, you must understand that you are not obliged to endure attacks. Even if we are talking about your husband / wife or children, you still remain a person who has the right to a friendly and caring attitude towards yourself. The situation becomes especially painful when it comes to the aggressive behavior of parents towards children. This is the situation in which the victim is almost never able to resist the pressure.

No one is obliged to endure other people's attacks. Therefore, if you have become the object of someone's aggression, you can safely fight back by any means. If you yourself are the aggressor, then this problem is personally yours. Here it is necessary to carry out exercises to eliminate their own aggressiveness.

First, the causes of the resulting aggression should be recognized. Nothing just happens. Even mentally ill people have reasons for aggressiveness. What moment was the trigger that made you feel angry? After realizing the cause of your negative emotions, you should take steps to change your attitude to the situation.

The second point is that the cause must be devalued or eliminated. If it is necessary to change the personal attitude to the situation, then this should be done; if it is necessary to solve a problem (for example, to eliminate dissatisfaction), then one should make an effort and be patient a little.

You should not fight your own aggression, but understand the reasons for its appearance, since the elimination of these causes allows you to cope with any negative emotions.

Forecast

The result of any emotion is a certain event that becomes decisive. Anything can become a forecast of the consequence of aggression:

1. Loss of connections with good people.
2. Divorce or separation from a loved one.
3. Dismissal from work.
4. Disorder in life.
5. Lack of support from important people.
6. Lack of understanding.
7. Loneliness, etc.

In some cases, the question of the life expectancy of a person who enters into a conflict even arises. With the manifestation of physical violence in the family or in the company of hooligans, we can talk about fatal outcomes.

If a person does not try to control his aggressive impulses, he will face various negative consequences. His environment will consist only of people who should not be trusted. Only an aggressive person can be near the same aggressor.

The consequences of controlling one's own aggression can be successful. Firstly, a person will not spoil relations with those who are dear to him. So I want to throw out my emotions and show my character. However, if you understand what the consequences may be, it is better to prevent an undesirable outcome.

Secondly, a person can direct aggression in a constructive direction. You can’t get rid of this emotion, but you can subdue it. For example, aggression is good when a person is dissatisfied with an unattained goal. In this case, he wants to make every effort to still realize his plans.

If a person cannot cope with his aggression on his own, then he should turn to a psychologist. It will help in finding the right answers to your questions, as well as in developing a behavior strategy that will help both pacify aggression and do the right things in the right situations.

Aggression does not occur in a vacuum. Often it is interpersonal conflicts that are the cause of the emergence of aggression. Provocation is the most common factor in the outbreak of aggression.

Aggression can arise even at the mere thought that another person has hostile intentions, regardless of whether there was a real reason for this or not.

Social causes of aggression

Among the social causes, one of the serious messages for aggression are observers and instigators. Many willingly obey when they are offered to publicly punish another person, even if the commands are given by persons who are not convicted of power. Outside observers have a significant influence on aggression if the aggressor thinks that his actions will cause approval.

Carrying a weapon can manifest itself not only as a means of protection, but also as an incentive to aggression.
The media and the demonstration of scenes of violence in the mass media also serve as a pretext and a kind of “call” for violence.

External environment as a cause of aggression

High air temperatures increase the likelihood of irritation and aggressive behavior.

Among other influences of the external environment on aggression, noise and crowding can be distinguished. In addition, in a contaminated space, such as excessively smoky cigarette smoke or with an unpleasant smell, aggressive reactions are also enhanced.

Personal qualities and innate tendency to aggression

Among the psychological characteristics that can provoke aggressive behavior are:

• fear of public disapproval;

• irritability;

• tendency to see hostility in others;

• a tendency to feel shame rather than guilt in many situations.

Among people prone to aggression, there are often those who are attached to various prejudices, such as racial prejudice.

Female and male aggression

Between men and women there are some differences in the manifestation of aggression. Women view aggression more as a way to express anger and relieve stress due to the release of aggressive energy.

Men treat aggression as a certain model of behavior, which they resort to in order to obtain some kind of social or material reward.

Often aggression and irritability in women manifests itself during the menstrual cycle of the so-called premenstrual syndrome. Also, the cause of attacks of aggression in women can be hormonal changes in the body, in the period before and after childbirth, menopause, or taking hormonal drugs.

Attacks of aggression in men can also be associated with changes in the hormonal background, for example, with an excess of the male hormone - testosterone, or during the period of male menopause - andropause.

In addition to the hormonal causes of aggression in men and women, there are a number of psychological problems, including various addictions - alcoholism, drug addiction and nicotine addiction. It is known that the regular use of harmful substances has a destructive effect on the human psyche.

Aggression and aggressiveness have always been part of our world, people are constantly faced and continue to face these phenomena in their daily lives. Aggression is a certain type of action aimed at causing moral or physical damage to other people, this is an attack on them with the aim of causing harm. And aggressiveness is not just a trait of a person's character, in which he reacts aggressively to everything, but it is also a natural manifestation of his bestial essence.

Aggressive behavior is inherent primarily in less intellectually developed people, and at the same time, people who are quite active, whose endless desires are supported by great opportunities. Being weak and feeling weak, a person will not attack other people, because fear will not allow him to do this. But feeling his strength and seeing the opportunities that it gives, a person acts more boldly, more assertively, more aggressively. Consequently, weak people are less aggressive than strong people, but nevertheless, the aggression of weak people can be expressed in a hidden form, which is sometimes no less or even more dangerous than an open form of aggression.

No matter how strong or weak we are, we are still very aggressive creatures by nature and our aggression is primarily associated with the need to defend our interests in this cruel world, in a world of limited resources and boundless selfishness. Therefore, one should perceive one's bestial essence positively, since nature endowed us with it not by chance, it is simply necessary for us to survive. We have created a world in which even the weakest human beings can survive, while in nature only the strongest survive, only those who can fight not only for their lives, but also for a place in the sun. Our world, the world of people, is an unreal world, an artificial world in which aggression and aggressiveness are perceived negatively, while in the wild, this phenomenon is natural and necessary. Aggressive behavior does not need an ethical assessment and interpretation on our part, it simply exists, and has always existed in our lives, as a natural and, as mentioned above, a necessary, innate form of behavior. And as you and I are constantly convinced of this, even in our seemingly civilized world, bestial laws often operate under which it is important for a person to be able, as they say, to awaken the beast in himself.

The fact that aggression has an emotional connotation is primarily due to the fact that for a targeted attack, for an attack, for a powerful and lightning strike aimed at destroying his enemy or his victim, a person needs a lot of energy. And he draws energy from his emotions, which, although they turn off his thinking, but at the level of instincts allow him to act very effectively. But at the same time, the maximum effectiveness of the aggressor's actions is more related to the rationality of his behavior than to the strength of his emotions. Remember the words of Muhammad Ali - to flutter like a butterfly and sting like a bee? Anger, anger, aggression, and generally nonsense, need to be controlled by the mind, then the aggressive behavior of a person will be more effective. In fact, the infliction of harm by one person to another person, or any damage, without special need, is an unnatural manifestation of aggression. Humans, in addition to their hostility, also have a tendency to cooperate, like other animals, which, if necessary, huddle in packs or in herds. And with such behavior, when it is important for a person to establish cooperation with other people, it is more useful for him not so much to be aggressive as to be able to find a common language with all people, or at least with most of them, for which he needs to develop his thinking. Do you think we are so nice to each other, just because of ethical education? Nothing like that, in most cases, we are forced to be polite with other people, and forced to reckon with their opinions and their interests. But when we have the opportunity not to do this, when everything depends only on our decision - to be or not to be a person who respects other people, we often make a decision not in favor of these very other people. A person with great potential, often without any twinge of conscience, harms other people for the sake of his interests and his boundless selfishness. Therefore, we all need to be moderately aggressive in order for our aggression to be a deterrent to the exorbitant ambitions of other people. Being aggressive when it is actually required is very useful, since in every society, without exception, a person needs to be able to protect his interests and be able to position himself correctly in order to take the most advantageous position in comparison with other people, preferably the position of a leader.

But the most important thing that you and I should understand is that the aggression of smart people differs in form from the aggression of stupid people, or, better to say, wild and underdeveloped people. Nevertheless, the content of aggressive actions remains unchanged, with any personal differences between people. I would even say that in some, but not all, cases, the aggressive actions of smart and very smart people can be much more dangerous than similar actions on the part of fools. Disguised, as a rule, under good intentions, the aggression of some very literate people does not meet with resistance precisely because of its non-obviousness. And, unfortunately, for most people, the common truth that the road to hell is paved with good intentions remains empty words, heard and repeated many times, but never understood. We all need something from this world and from other people, and many of us are ready to go to great lengths in order to take more of someone else's and give less of our own. And often people take their toll precisely through aggressive behavior, through violence, which can only be resisted with the help of reciprocal violence.

That's when we observe aggressiveness in children, we must understand that the matter is not in the abnormality of the child, it is in his natural desire for leadership, in his desire to form his environment at his own discretion. You can find a lot of information on child aggression, and in most cases it will tell you that an aggressive child is not normal, or not quite normal. But in fact, this is not so, or rather, not quite so. The fact is that in children, among their insufficient development, aggression is expressed in a very primitive form, it cannot be hidden, as in some cunning adults, when we do not see obvious signs of aggression against us or against someone else. but we suffer from it. Well, for example, in our society there is such a thing as legitimate violence, that is, legal, just violence, which most people accept as a forced necessity that cannot be dispensed with. The most striking example of such violence is the death penalty, which, allegedly, is a fair punishment for especially dangerous criminals. But, in most cases, legitimate violence is not at all legitimate and quite even unfair. It is simply cultivated and ennobled by the good intentions of the aggressor, who uses the opportunities available to him and harms another person. It must be understood that even the most dangerous criminals did not appear out of nowhere. They were not born what they later became, they became what their parents, society and the environment in general made them.

But we, committing violence against criminals, consider it quite justified and do not notice that there are no fewer crimes in our life, although, of course, the severity of the laws somewhat pacifies some hotheads. Nevertheless, from the point of view of effectiveness, it is absolutely pointless to fight the effect, and not the cause of violence, and the fact that we are doing this speaks of our aggressiveness, which is expressed in a somewhat unhealthy form. We don't solve the crime problem in our society when we punish criminals, we just more or less control it. But, firstly, it is possible to solve this problem, and secondly, it is more useful for each of us. Why doesn't anyone get it right? But because every problem needs someone who is able to solve it, which means that society will always depend on someone's power over themselves, which solves unsolvable problems. So I think there is no need for me to explain to you how such a dependence of society on an iron hand can be beneficial for some, far from the most stupid people. In general, we do not have any legitimate violence now, there is simply violence that we put up with, or with which we are forced to put up with. It follows from this that even in the most civilized and cultured society, some people who have the necessary opportunities for this, systematically commit violent acts against other, weaker people. And we have not yet come up with anything else, more effective against aggression, except for adequate retaliatory aggression, which is capable of protecting us. Well, if it were otherwise, we would only be doing that turned the other cheek under attack, instead of creating weapons, forming an army, having a police force, arming and so on.

So it turns out that from early childhood, a person is not only inclined, but even drawn to commit violence against other people. It turns out because, firstly, our ambitions are initially prohibitively high, and secondly, within ourselves, we instinctively understand that either we or us. And aggression simply moves us in this direction, towards domination over other people, it points us to goals without offering means to achieve them, because this is already the task of our brain. And only the fear of punishment serves as a prevention of aggression, and then only in those cases when it comes to people who are able to feel this fear. No fear will stop a fool, therefore, the severity of laws does not play a role for him, and with the exception of the likelihood of a fool appearing at all, as we found out above, no one in our society does or plans to do it. So it is precisely the need that makes a person behave more or less benevolently towards other people, and look for ways to cooperate with them. Whether we like it or not, violence in our society is the norm, not the exception, and despite our negative attitude towards it, it happens regularly. Each of us, at least once in a lifetime, has become a victim of violence in one form or another. Even the same deception that is encountered today at every turn is also violence, this is the violence of a mentally developed person over a less developed one. We, quite naturally, consider it a crime with you when an adult deceives a child, and, say, persuades him to have sexual intercourse? This is aggression, right? Well, why don't we treat the same situations with adults in a similar way, who, despite their age, can sometimes be much dumber than children? Do we consider it acceptable for our lives to take advantage of other people's stupidity, or have we been told that this is normal?

Deception, as a manifestation of more sophisticated and cultivated aggression, usually replaces more primitive, physical aggression, which we perceive more emotionally, and therefore we are able to more or less correctly interpret all rather primitive actions of other people. But it is precisely this ability, the ability to show their aggressiveness culturally, that children lack, who are forced to behave more openly, more primitively and more predictably, thus achieving, in fact, the same goals as adults, that is, achieving recognition, leadership position in their environment and success, in the end. Why do we have an extremely negative attitude towards the killer who killed only a few people, but at the same time we perceive the tobacco or alcohol business, and those who stand behind it, in a completely normal way, despite the fact that these businessmen kill people by the millions? Are we so smart that we are not able to appreciate and understand the scale of such evils? Or are we so cowardly that we are forced to put up with one violence and oppose another? Each person has his own answer to this question, depending on his level of development and his honesty, especially with himself.

Psychology, my friends, is what you and I need to explain to us the patterns of our behavior, and not to interpret it. Otherwise, we would not call it science. If there is violence in your life, and you are its victim, then you can seek help from a priest or an inadequate psychologist who will help you accept this violence, come to terms with it, forgive the aggressor and, in some cases, allow him to continue to do violence against you and further. You need it? How long are you going to turn the other cheek and let other people abuse you? Maybe you should seek help from adequate people, adequate psychologists who will help you protect yourself? Your instincts will tell you the answers to these questions - trust them. Try to seek help from those who are really able to help you, regardless of your personal beliefs and attitude towards this or that person. It is necessary to be able to deal with violence, aggressive behavior must always, remember, always be rebuffed, otherwise it will be impossible to cope with it. But in order to rebuff this very one, it is necessary to be able to do it, and so that peace-loving people do not propagandize there, every blow can and should be answered, with exactly the same blow, but better with a stronger blow. An aggressive person, if he retreats from his excessive ambitions, then only if he meets a rebuff in the form of no less, if not more, aggressiveness from other people whose interests he decided to encroach on. In such cases, they say - I found a scythe on a stone. Or - there is no reception against scrap, except for another such scrap.

Do not think that our not the most beautiful behavior, and even absolutely anti-social behavior, is the result of our primitiveness. Aggression and aggressiveness are often quite a conscious decision and a carefully thought-out policy aimed at achieving a person's goals at the expense of other people. Every person striving to realize their desires always has the opportunity to show aggression against someone weaker, and I assure you, many people use this opportunity. Some people create opportunities for themselves in which they can take advantage of someone else's weakness to achieve their goals. To do this, they make other people stupid, through a certain psychological and ideological influence on them. V. I. Lenin said: “While the people are stupid and uneducated, the most important art for us is cinema and the circus.” But, I thought so, and came to the conclusion that this circus and cinema are needed in order for the people to be stupid. If you are very smart people, you will be able to resist any aggression, which means that you will not just be subjugated to your will. But if you are illiterate, stupid, disorganized, not cohesive, and even intimidated people, then you can do anything with you. Moreover, your ill-conceived and in some cases completely inappropriate benevolence and openness will make you an easy prey for a more aggressive and insidious person who will certainly take advantage of all your weaknesses to his advantage. And you will not oppose anything to someone else's aggression, no matter in what form it will be expressed, if you yourself are white and fluffy.

I am not saying that your response to any aggression against you must necessarily be a mirror image, and it cannot always be so, since we all have different opportunities. But it must be - your answer. Not by force, so by cunning, not by cunning, so by intelligence, not by intelligence, so by pity and sycophancy, but we must be able to repulse our enemies. Otherwise, we will simply be destroyed. In each person, I repeat - in each, there are strengths. If in principle you are not an aggressive person and cannot be one, then look for other ways to protect yourself and defend your interests. I consider aggression any human activity aimed at confronting other people or suppressing other people, no matter how. If someone tries to deceive me, for me this is an aggressive person, if someone proves to me that he is subjectively right in order to push his interests through me, for me this is also an act of aggression. So not necessarily psychosis and physical violence, savagery and cruelty, are a manifestation of aggressive behavior, any unequal relationship between people in which one person uses another person for his own purposes is aggression.

Why is that? Yes, because in this world, there can be as many conventions as you like, while according to the laws of nature, which we cannot bypass, any use of one's capabilities by one creature against another creature can be considered aggression. Here we must understand that it does not matter what methods are used by people to achieve their goals related to obtaining benefits at the expense of another person or other people. All those causes of aggression with which we are dealing, from the point of view of our nature, are fully justified. As well as our unwillingness to obey someone else's will and oppose it in every possible way - this is also a natural reaction of a person to aggression against him. It is not natural to serve other people at will, and not to understand that it is not natural for you. This is really an unhealthy human perception of reality. Therefore, it is so important to understand exactly when and how someone acts against us, so as not to be surprised by the unplanned results that each of us receives in our lives. Well, will it really matter to you how you are forced to work for someone - at gunpoint or by creating conditions under which you will be forced to do as someone needs you to do? Only, perhaps, for your emotional state it will have some meaning, but not for the situation as a whole. If, as a result of a certain influence on you by other people, you are forced to serve someone, then it does not matter at all how you were forced to do this, aggression was committed against you in any case. Simply, not very smart people do not react to the unstructured management of them, that is, to management carried out through manipulation, as something negative. This means that such people do not consider aggression those phenomena due to which they are forced to obey other people's instructions and serve other people's interests, contrary to their own desire, true desire, and their own interests. And if you don’t see your enemy, then you can’t fight him, because you don’t understand what kind of threat you need to counter, which means you can’t find the necessary means to adequately counter this threat or threats. Therefore, it is very important to recognize aggression in any of its manifestations, preferably in the early stages, and only then learn to adequately respond to it.

So don’t keep the beast inside you, in a cage, let it have the opportunity to show its qualities in situations that are especially difficult for you, when you are in real danger. The only thing an aggressive person really needs is to control his aggressive state. We must be able to manage ourselves and our emotions, which can only be done through our mind, which must be developed and forced to work. A primitive person reacts quite emotionally to everything, the more emotions there are in a person's behavior, the less rationality there is in this behavior. But as soon as we accustom ourselves to constantly think before acting, we accustom our brain to analyze the situation and the information that comes to us, to reason about it, to calculate various scenarios for the development of events with certain of our actions, then our emotions fade into the background, and we can control our behavior. Including, due to the activity of our thinking, we will be able to control our aggression, not fighting it, but competently managing its energy.

Pay attention to how many conflict situations arise in our life. People constantly argue about something, quarrel among themselves, commit violence against each other. To the best of their ability, every person, I repeat, everyone, do not think that you are different, seeks to dominate someone, to control someone. And with such a desire, conflicts are inevitable. We even within the framework of our family do not know how to live in peace and harmony. But in fact, there is no difference between family quarrels and big wars, in which many people die, because in both cases, human egoism, the human desire to dominate and defend one's interests, meets with exactly the same desire from the outside. other people or with their opposition to this desire. And there is a conflict. The scale of only different conflicts can be different, with family quarrels, fewer people suffer than during a big war. But if you pay attention to the general statistics of domestic violence, it turns out that all family quarrels and the violence that follows them is a very big war.

And in war, as in war, there is no time for sentimentality and tenderness, it needs to be both tough and aggressive and at times very cruel. To protect our lives, as well as the lives of those dear to us, we definitely need to be able to be aggressive. In everyday life, we can and must be civilized and cultured people in order to maintain that more or less acceptable atmosphere in society for us and our life. But when we are forced to confront other people, when we are forced to defend our interests and protect our values, as well as the life I have already mentioned, then we need to use everything that nature has given us, including aggression and our other bestial qualities. Many in this life will try to test you for firmness in order to find your weaknesses and use them to bend you to their will. And if you cannot or do not want to properly respond to these hostile attempts to bend you, then it can cost you dearly. Many people, only seemingly reasonable, in fact, really intelligent people are very rare, while people who are primitive and very aggressive by nature, we are forced to meet much more often. And we need to be able to interact with them, no matter how we treat them. Each of us has a certain set of qualities that can be used for both good and bad deeds. And you can pursue any goals in your life, not paying attention to the means to achieve them, but at the same time your behavior will always be reflected in an adequate attitude towards you from other people.

You would do a lot in your own way in this life, if it were your will, you would definitely use many, many for your own purposes, if you could. And you definitely would not reckon with some people who are wrong from your point of view, seeking from them the actions you need, if they only let you give a damn about themselves. You are neither a good nor a bad person, you are just a person with the qualities inherent in this being. You will always want more than what you already have, and your aggression, in one form or another, will always come out. And only the fear of retaliatory violence will stop you from committing some not very good deeds that will seem necessary to you, or at least desirable for you, at one time or another in your life. See for yourself how much our life depends on that fear of punishment, without which we are not able to maintain normal human relationships with each other. Without a legitimate form of violence, or rather, without its illusion, it is generally impossible to create at least a somewhat normal society that will not be mired in civil strife. We should not consider ourselves too rational beings, for rational beings do not need a stick to do what they need to do, and not how they want to do it. And as long as we think more about the fact that we are very developed beings, but not being such in reality, aggression and aggressiveness will be companions of our life.

It is important for each of us to keep any of our emotions under control, including aggression. Animals are no less aggressive than we are, but as you can see for yourself, it is not they who conquered us, but we conquered them and keep them under control. Therefore, it is important for us not so much to rely on our natural instincts as on our mental development, which has always moved us forward and helped us achieve outstanding results. Aggression we should transform into energy stimulating our activity. Do you dislike something, do you hate someone, do you want to destroy your enemies, are you very angry with other people? Well, it happens in our life and you can understand. But because of this, you don’t need to wake up the beast in yourself and throw yourself at people with wild cries, solving all your problems with the help of brute force, this is too dangerous and too ill-conceived in most cases. Better turn on your brains and look for a solution to your problems with the help of them. And your aggressiveness will give you the energy with which you will force yourself to work on solving all your problems.

Wildness, friends, is only appropriate in a wild environment, and if you do not want to constantly worry about your back, into which a knife can be stuck, then do not cynically take advantage of other people's weaknesses to your advantage. Remember that each person contributes to the atmosphere of the society in which he lives.