Will love come unexpectedly or how not to fall in love with a guy? How not to fall in love with a man: psychological prevention “Did I make a promise to love…” Why you might fall in love with the “wrong one.”
“Our relationship lasted two months, and I was sure that I had met my soul mate,” says Marina. - And then he began to move away and admitted that he was not ready for a serious relationship. We agreed that we would remain friends. This “friendship” torments me; I have no strength to break our connection.”
“It’s not for nothing that the girl mentions her “soul mate,” as the image of her own soul, which Jung called the Animus,” comments cognitive therapist Marina Myaus. - If we meet a person who merges with the image drawn by our subconscious, we are irresistibly drawn to him. But in order for a full-fledged connection to develop, it is necessary to separate the imaginary image and accept the real person. Agreeing to love someone who does not value us, we remain in the flow of our own fantasies.”
Over time, the importance of not a specific person grows, but only the scale of his imaginary figure. We think that we are interacting with the one we love, but in fact we are conducting a dialogue with ourselves - that part of our Self that we do not find the strength to meet in ordinary life.
“This may be a consequence of early experiences associated with relationships with parents, or with long-standing traumas that are held captive,” explains Marina Meaus. - Unhappy love is just a mirror through which we look at ourselves. But this mirror is crooked and distorting. And dialogue with ourselves will be destructive if we do not find the strength to remove the imaginary figure of the one with whom we are in love. Instead of trying to repeat the previous traumatic love experience over and over again, we need to face our experiences head-on.”
How to stop falling unrequitedly in love
If an unrequited feeling lasts for a long time, it is difficult to admit to ourselves that we are wasting the time of our lives. Mental defense mechanisms are activated, which convince us that something is preventing our beloved from taking a step forward. Often this turns us into uninvited “rescuers”: we strive to help overcome the circumstances that prevent a potential partner from being with us. Gradually, we lose a critical attitude towards ourselves and others, perceiving only those words and actions that feed our illusions.
- Break contact. If the partner does not take steps towards meeting, imaginary love draws energy only from our own thoughts and fantasies. Break all contacts, both real and virtual. Unfriend the person on social media to avoid the temptation to spy on their life.
- Focus on yourself. It is important to redirect the flow of energy that we spent on fruitless fantasies about an unavailable man to ourselves. Engage in work, study or creativity - something that contributes to the growth of your personality and gaining greater self-esteem. As soon as we stop feeding an imaginary figure and begin to “grow” our own instead, the significance of the imaginary connection gradually decreases.
How to stop falling in love with everyone
The feeling of love can turn into a drug. We strive to experience it again, often in the process becoming closer to those who manipulate our need.
How to break the vicious circle?
- Think about self-esteem. Trying at any cost to be with a person who doesn’t care about us, we lose self-respect. It’s hard to admit this, so the psyche throws up many excuses for such a connection. Self-respect will allow you to rely primarily on yourself, and not look for support in another person.
- Restore resources. By exhausting ourselves emotionally, we lose interest in other aspects of life. A partner who loves and accepts gives strength and fearlessness to move forward. Anyone who devalues our feelings takes away our strength.
- Get rid of the victim role. We find ourselves in psychological subordination to a person who does not value us. Think about how a passive role could benefit you? Perhaps this is how you are trying to relieve yourself of responsibility for your own life?
How not to fall in love with unfree people
Sigmund Freud considered attraction to a parent of the opposite sex to be the prototype of all loves. In a complete family, this figure is always unfree.
“Childhood experiences of rivalry with a same-sex parent can add passion to a love triangle in adulthood,” explains Jungian analyst Lev Khegai. - Defeating an opponent is no less important than achieving the object of love. From this point of view, choosing unfree partners provokes stronger feelings.”
How to break the vicious circle?
“You need to honestly answer the question: are you ready for true rapprochement? - Marina Meaus suggests. - What makes you hold on to relationships in which the full presence of your loved one is impossible? Perhaps in your parental family you saw not only love and care, but also a lot of mutual claims and irritation. In this case, communication with an unfree partner allows you to leave the door open.”
How to stop falling in love with unavailable people
Falling in love with a famous singer, actor or athlete is a common phenomenon among teenagers. This is a children's experience of life events in a game format. But if a person carries his attachment to the inaccessible and famous into adulthood, this turns into a problem.
“Falling in love with an idol as an adult is an indicator that in childhood we did not receive enough maternal love, and the inaccessible but beloved image of the mother is replaced by the image of a star,” says Lev Khegai.
How to break the vicious circle?
- Parents of teenagers should be patient. The worst thing you can do is blame or ridicule his feelings. “Such a hobby may be associated with a natural process of separation, during which the teenager tries to disconnect from the influence of the mother. At the same time, the image of a star turns out to be an unconscious counterweight to dependence on the parent, explains Lev Khegai. - If attachment to an idol is not critical and does not threaten the safety of the teenager, let him simply go through this period. Be patient and open to conversation. Make it clear that you love your child regardless of his hobbies.”
- In adults falling in love with a star often also turns out to be a consequence of failures in one’s personal life, which causes regression into the teenage stage. Reflect on previous relationships. Perhaps you still have pain and disappointment. Love for an inaccessible person is a zone of known safety. But at the same time, you are robbing yourself by not allowing full-fledged feelings into your life and limiting the opportunities for internal growth that only close relationships in the real world give us.
How to make absolutely any man fall in love with you? The psychological techniques that will be described today are also suitable for men who want to make the lady of their heart fall in love with them. These are techniques of neurolinguistic programming.
How to make absolutely any man fall in love with you? The techniques that will be described today are also suitable for men who want to make the lady of their heart fall in love with them. There are quite a lot of manipulations that you can use to achieve your goal. Let's use neurolinguistic programming techniques.
How to make anyone fall in love with you
How to manipulate another person? At the initial stage of any relationship, everyone uses manipulation in one way or another. You don’t bare your soul wide open to the first person you meet, do you? There is a likely risk of being ignored and some loss of interest on the part of the partner. And it doesn’t matter whether we are talking about a man or a woman.
In a romantic relationship, it is always interesting to conquer, to achieve the inaccessible.
During the meeting, encourage your young man to talk as much as possible about himself and his loved one.
80% of your dialogue should be devoted to his person. Show genuine interest. Ask him about his childhood, successes, events. At the same time, be generous with praise. Praise him tirelessly. Ask for advice or recommendations on any matter. Show that his opinion is very important to you. “You are so great!” “You are so smart!”
Don't allow sex in the first meeting.
Try to postpone this event. You shouldn't present yourself as an approachable girl.
When meeting, you can dilate your pupils.
This occurs when the genitals are aroused. To do this, it is enough to imagine intimacy, sex, in general, a frank picture. And when the body is sexually aroused, the pupils of the eyes dilate, and you transmit special body odors to the man. He, like a male, reacts to these signals subconsciously.
An important manipulative component is the demonstration of one’s own relevance.
“Other guys need me too.” It’s not bad if someone else calls you, sends messages, gives you bouquets. Take photos with other people. But don’t overdo it: “This is just a work colleague. And nothing more." Don’t give yourself a reason to find fault with yourself and seem like a “bad girl.”
Demonstrate some degree of uncontrollability.
Yes, you are difficult to control! It's not that easy to keep you. For example, you disrupt meetings (but for a good reason). “I didn’t show up for the date because my car broke down.” They call you on the phone and you don’t answer or answer only the third time. You don't respond to messages. There is a desire to tease in this. “A step forward is a step back.” This also applies to moments of intimacy: she kissed and took a step back.
An important point: an adrenaline-filled meeting.
Its essence is that, for example, you go into a cafe, treat yourself, and then run away without paying the bill. Or you steal a trinket somewhere and run away again. This includes rides on amusement rides. This is called an adrenaline rush when your hearts beat faster in unison.
Re-watch the films “9 ½ Weeks”, “Romeo and Juliet” and take into account the moments that we are talking about now. This is a classic of the genre, only women have forgotten about it.
Another important point: you personally in the relationship should not be enough, not enough.
You are in short supply. When you break up, you leave your partner a little hungry. Don’t overstay your welcome, don’t saturate the man with yourself too much. But don’t play the prude: intimate photos are now very popular in relationships. It turns you on and keeps you on your toes.
“My father (friend, uncle) really disapproves of our relationship.”
In other words, someone significant to you is against you being together.
Financial manipulation component.
You are far from a poor girl. If in fact this is not the case, make it up. The secret is that all people are hungry for money. And this moment (it’s worth admitting) can add to your attractiveness. And when the deception is revealed, it will be too late (as the heroine said in the famous film).
Ask him to tell you the most vivid erotic adventure, a memorable sexual experience.
During the story, you can put your hand on his shoulder (knee) and lightly stroke him. This creates a kind of psychological anchor. And the next time, when you stroke him, a pleasant associative series with sexual intonations will emerge.
Important! The question “How to fall in love?” quite individual. There are certain limitations and fears of your partner that you may encounter.
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet
“What, excuse me?” - you ask. - “Being in love is so wonderful! Is it possible to wonder how not to fall in love with a man?” Yes, you can, and how! Only we will not talk about butterflies fluttering in the stomach, but about a corrosive feeling, which in psychology is called emotional dependence.
We will look at this common social phenomenon from a psychological point of view, find out where it comes from, and discuss what you can do to protect yourself from unwanted “falling in love.”
Our interlocutor is a professional psychologist-consultant Ivan Kotva - will explain why such an attack sometimes happens to girls and how to protect yourself so as not to fall in love with men who are potentially dangerous to your mental health or to your own future. Psychology will give answers to all these questions and tell you how to behave correctly and in what direction to move.
Emotional addiction - what is it?
It often happens that beautiful, talented young girls begin to become active in relation to young men with a dubious reputation. These men lead an asocial lifestyle, stand out for their arrogance, and challenge life. These could be drug addicts, alcoholics, hooligans, womanizers. Girls fall for these men; as soon as the latter show only the slightest sign of attention towards the girls, they begin to behave inappropriately.
They pursue the chosen men, follow them everywhere, ask for meetings, forgetting about their self-esteem. In turn, men allow themselves to humiliate these girls, bully, provoke: to take advantage of the state of the girls obsessed with them. Girls, like zombies, can wait for hours at the entrance, trying to get attention. They don't listen to their parents, they don't listen to anyone who tells them it shouldn't be this way.
They slowly lose themselves, dissolving into the object of their emotion. I feel very sorry for these girls, because they have fallen into the trap of emotional dependence and cannot do anything about it. Of course, it is better to carry out psychological prevention of this condition so that such a fate will bypass you.
“Did I make a promise to love…” Why can you fall in love with “the wrong one”?
The first and main reason why a girl can fall in love 
“wrong” man - low self-esteem and lack of an environment that supports it.
In this case, self-esteem does not correspond to the girl’s potential. Therefore, the psyche of a young girl will give a signal that love is on the horizon, falsely interpreting the signal of this young man. However, there is not even a smell of pure, kind, all-consuming Love here.
Let's call reason number two the lack of conditions in the girl's family for normal development: the girl wants to leave the family, they don't understand her. The girl will begin to feel that this man and it is he who understands her better than others.
She begins to believe that she has met a man destined from above just for her, and clutches at him like a drowning man clutches at a straw. Further the situation may unfold in an unfavorable way. It's better to protect yourself from this, don't you agree? Then let's move on to practical self-help points.
Psychology to the rescue: step number one
To begin with, girls who have every chance of falling in love with the “wrong” man should improve their relationship with their parents and gain recognition in the family. It is necessary to forgive your parents for the fact that they may have given a bad upbringing, to try to understand your parents. Don't judge your parents harshly: they are people too and have the right to make mistakes. Forget the words “Mom doesn’t understand me.” Most likely, you don’t understand your mother either.
Step number two
It is necessary to cultivate adequate self-esteem. You need to develop, engage in creativity, move forward, read classical and specialized literature - classics of psychology and philosophy, and fill yourself up from within. This will help fill the inner emptiness and will allow you not to rush at the first person you meet who shows signs of attention to you. Falling in love with a man, acquired with adequate self-esteem, will be natural, healthy and adequate.
Step number three
This important step flows smoothly from the previous one. You need to find an area for self-realization, where you will be recognized, where you can achieve heights and receive recognition from the outside. For example, this could be a sport, an area of art, a socially significant activity, such as volunteering, and so on. The main condition is to achieve both public recognition and self-esteem and self-respect.
As psychology says, recognition from others directly affects self-esteem. Inside, you should not have a feeling of your own lack of demand, there should be no unrealized desire to receive recognition from someone. If you are busy and recognized from the outside, you are less likely to become emotionally dependent, which can lead to unfavorable consequences for you. The moment one receives recognition from different areas of one’s life, a person’s moral health improves.
Step number four
You need to truly understand your value as a woman and love yourself: engage in self-development, allow yourself to develop in the name of something, for example, in the name of sporting achievements. This goal should motivate you well, force you to work on yourself, so to speak, indirectly.
Is it difficult? Find yourself worthy, socially recognized female influencers to follow. This is a very effective method!
Important!
It is important that there is more than one area for implementation and recognition. The fact is that every person has supports on which his life rests, including social life. And there should be more than one of these same supports. Otherwise, another “support” will be an unfavorable crush on the “wrong” man, bordering on insanity.
If a person has several supports in his life, it means that the person is protected from emotional dependencies. Ideally, these should be at least three: family, study/work and a hobby that brings pleasure. More is better!
How to diagnose emotional dependence?
Psychology tells us that suffering is an indicator that you are addicted. If your attachment is accompanied by suffering, then you have narrowed your
vital interests down to one object, and fell into the trap of emotional dependence.
If a girl nevertheless falls into the trap of emotional dependence, it is very important to understand that the suffering she experiences is a psychological pathology. The girl is in her own illusion, in a nightmare. However, her suffering is very real. Apart from a certain man, she is not interested in anything else. For six months, a year, or even two, a girl can lead an antisocial lifestyle, moving away from everyone.
After a while, the girl either becomes an antisocial character and slides downward (drunkenness, drugs), or begins to see the light, gets out of this state and begins a new life. It is necessary for her or her loved ones to seek help and support from specialized centers that provide assistance to women victims of emotional dependence.
Consultations with specialists in the field of psychology will help the girl not to do anything stupid and get out of the emotional labyrinth.
Everything will definitely be fine!
When a girl normalizes the state of her inner “I” and her self-esteem, she will learn to accept only people who are positive for herself and will meet a person who will meet her criteria, and she will not have to wonder how not to fall in love with him.
Often young girls do not know at all how not to fall in love with guys. After all, at a young age, the feeling of falling in love can flare up at any moment, and the object of love can become a completely unsuitable person.
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. Many girls are waiting for love, but it still doesn’t come, and some, on the contrary, fall in love very quickly.
Contrary to the popular belief that love is always wonderful, it is impossible not to note that feelings towards an unworthy person cannot lead to anything good.
Often women themselves understand this, but cannot cope with their love. Despite internal resistance, feelings cover them headlong. And then it is very difficult to cope with such love. Many people are interested in the question of whether it is possible to avoid unnecessary love. How not to fall in love with a guy? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary to control your feelings.
First of all, it is necessary to understand that falling in love is, first of all, admiration for the object of love, idealization of it in one’s own eyes. In order not to fall in love with a guy, you need to stop idealizing him. It is important to evaluate all its external and internal qualities objectively. Psychologists say that in this case you can use a very effective technique that allows you to mentally turn all the advantages of the object of sympathy into disadvantages. For example, a young man is quite successful in business, or his career growth is very rapid. In this case, you don’t need to think about how smart, responsible, and organized he must be. You can try to turn all these advantages into disadvantages for yourself. And to do this, you just need to think about how stubborn and unprincipled he can be. An avid careerist can also be very capricious in everyday life.
In order not to fall in love with a guy, you need to look for points of divergence rather than possible points of contact. To do this, you just need to list point by point all the problems that may arise in the future if you do not suppress your feelings of sympathy. For example, if a girl and a guy belong to different social groups, you can imagine how difficult it will be for them to get along with each other. It is important to think not only about the immediate future, but also about the fact that a relationship with a guy can lead to the creation of a family and the birth of children. After all, that is the ultimate goal of all relationships. In some cases, you can turn to older friends or relatives for help who have already had the experience of an unsuccessful marriage and who can tell you in all colors about how difficult it is to get along with a person who is categorically not suitable according to some criteria.
If the object of sympathy was already in a relationship with a girl, you can try to make inquiries about how happy the young people were and why they broke up. If the separation was due to the guy’s fault, you should not hope that he will behave completely differently in a new relationship. As a rule, people don't change. It is important to remember this once and for all. Very often this is what stops girls from entering into a relationship with someone who has proven himself unworthy.
Psychologists assure that in order not to fall in love with a guy, you don’t need to look for meetings with him. You can prepare yourself for the fact that a relationship with him will not lead to anything good even at a distance. There is no need to tempt fate once again and succumb to temptations. Sometimes, of course, meeting a guy is impossible to avoid. This happens in cases where young people work or study together. You should try to avoid at least physical contact. At the same time, you should avoid situations where the guy can take your hands or lightly hug you.
If your feelings for a man are so obsessive that a girl constantly thinks about them and what could come out of their relationship, you need to try to abstract yourself from your thoughts for a while. To do this, you need to fill your life with interesting events. You can join some club and learn a new profession, or you can remember a forgotten hobby and devote your free time to it. It is very useful to meet with friends, to always be in the center of events. If a girl is in demand and is constantly busy with herself and her hobbies, she is much less likely to fall in love with a person who is not worthy of her. Psychologists claim that in some cases, the feeling of falling in love occurs when a girl is bored and nothing interesting is happening in her life. Falling in love can serve as a kind of psychological protection and fill life with experiences.
When protecting yourself from love, you need to try to avoid loneliness. Left alone with herself, the girl begins to remember the object of her sympathy. Romantic music and watching sentimental films also have a special effect on the subconscious. For a while, it’s better to give up all this romance and try to think exclusively about work, study, and your own hobbies. Having overcome this barrier and suppressed the emerging feeling, girls, as a rule, subsequently experience special pride, as they feel and understand that they are doing everything right.
Young girls should definitely remember all the advice from psychologists on how not to fall in love with a guy. This is very important, since often feelings that take precedence over reason can destroy the fate of a young lady.
Well, a man appeared in our surroundings, one look at whom made our hearts tremble. I want to think about this guy, I want to dream about dating him, I want to hear his voice... But we are well aware that the young man is not the hero of our novel at all! You won’t be able to have a serious and promising relationship with him. Why? You never know... He, for example, is too much of a lover of women, an irresponsible egoist, a frivolous flyer, or simply someone’s gentleman or even husband.
Naturally, you can’t get carried away with such an unreliable type or even someone else’s lover! If you allow yourself to mindlessly dive into the pool of feelings, you may drown. Is it worth doing this if you understand that there is only suffering ahead? Of course not! But how to manage emotions? How to curb them and not fall in love with such an attractive man? After all, it is better to try to prevent the disease than to suffer and look for ways to cure it later, when it reaches an acute stage. And to do this, you need to understand at least a little why it occurs and whether it is subject to management and control.
Where does falling in love come from?
Why do people fall in love? After all, this is completely irrational. You forget about everything in the world, you become stupid, you cannot concentrate on something useful, and sometimes you begin to do things that would never even occur to a person in their right mind! Who needs such sudden madness? No one. If we could control our own emotions, we would allow ourselves to fall in love wisely and only with someone who fits all the parameters.
And everything would be decorous and noble, and any young lady would fall in love only of her own free will. But you can’t curb them, these wayward emotions! They will rush forward, biting the bit, go and deal with it. What to do if you understand perfectly well that you have fallen in love with a man who was not created for you? And in general, why did you choose him and not a more suitable guy?
It must be said that there is no clear and unambiguous answer to such a question. Expert scientists say that this happens due to an excess of a chemical called phenylethylamine in the body. They say that when there is a lot of it, we can fall in love with almost the first man we come across. Scientists, of course, know better. I just can’t believe that the feeling of falling in love is explained by banal chemical reactions. Still, the true reason for its occurrence lies somewhere in the depths of the subconscious.
She is like a bomb, the detonator of which goes off when we receive the corresponding sign. It could be a guy’s smile, his gestures, his voice, even the smell of cologne... The girl felt it, saw it, heard it and - trrrrah! The bomb exploded, the dose of phenylethylamine released into the blood went off scale, and the young lady fell in love.
Then, when the brain comes to its senses after such a powerful explosion, she will be able to more or less soberly assess the situation. And realize how suitable the object of her love is for her. If it fits, no questions asked. You can give in to the feeling, and come what may. Well, when the young lady realized that she had managed to fall in love with a man who was not suitable for this, she would have to think about why this happened and what to do now.
There is only one answer. It is necessary to extinguish the feelings that are just flaring up before it is too late. Otherwise it will be difficult to deal with them. Of course, managing emotions is not easy. But if you try hard...
How to stop falling in love
In general, a person falls in love with anyone when his psyche is ready for this. But she doesn’t care whether the object of her fascination meets any specific requirements of the mind or not. The main thing is to grab onto something and start realizing your emotional potential. You can get hooked on an element of clothing, a mysterious phrase, attractive appearance, an interesting conversation, a non-trivial act... Yes, even a guy’s hairstyle! The psyche finds an anchor of this kind and begins to create an image around it. As a result, we begin to look at a sometimes ordinary man with completely different eyes, attributing to him non-existent virtues and embellishing existing ones.
What does this mean? This suggests that it is enough to eliminate the anchor, and the fog of love will gradually begin to subside. Where to begin such liquidation?
- We need to decide that we really don’t need this person. To do this, without emotions, calmly and reasonably, we explain to ourselves what exactly it is that doesn’t suit us. It would be a good idea to write everything down on a piece of paper. But not with general phrases like “we are completely different” or “nothing will work out for us.” The essence of the problem must be recorded. For example, write that the guy has a difficult character, that he cannot be faithful, that he is already taken, and so on. When compiling a list, we are trying to find the most serious reason for the inappropriateness of feelings for a man. As soon as we discover it, we make a point, hang the piece of paper on the wall in front of us and re-read it as often as possible.
- You need to stop yourself from loving this person. How? We put him on a par with some relative - father, brother, uncle. It doesn't occur to us to fall in love with them, does it? No, because this is a taboo that has been ingrained in the subconscious since early childhood. So we are trying to fit into its framework someone who seemed too attractive to us. We tell ourselves that a close relationship with a man is impossible, and we drive away all thoughts about the likelihood of an affair. In a word, we associate the guy with our relatives in order to turn on the mechanism within ourselves for perceiving him as a brother.
- It is advisable to try with all your might to raise your self-esteem as much as possible and look down on the man. At the same time, we remember to have a sense of proportion, otherwise you can imagine yourself as a queen, of whom no one deserves at all. It’s enough that we regularly praise ourselves and our actions, not forgetting to repeat that we deserve a better man. If you direct your thoughts in this direction for several days, very soon the intensity of the feeling will dull, and the object of your crush will begin to seem not so stunning at all.
- We must make every effort to distract ourselves. We throw ourselves into work, have fun with friends, and devote a lot of time to hobbies or sports. In a word, we do everything to think as little as possible about our feelings. We load ourselves with anything, so as not to leave a window in our head for hard thinking about the situation. Of course, you won’t be able to get the young man out of your head right away. But you can organize a stream of thoughts related to it if you set aside a certain time for them - an hour in the morning, an hour at lunch, an hour before bed. It must be said that such memories will inevitably give rise to dreams. We do not allow them to spread their wings, deliberately driving them into a dead end.
- It is necessary to get rid of the desire to idealize the image of a guy. In general, the idealization of the male image is the most pressing women's problem. Let’s mentally draw a portrait of our chosen one, and then immediately fall in love with someone in whom we see at least some resemblance to this portrait. Moreover, completely not perceiving the obvious differences and not heeding the arguments of reason. This, they say, is my destiny, period. Neither reason nor friends and relatives who are trying to reason with a lady who has gone crazy with feelings can cope with such a position. Emotions completely deprive her of the opportunity to soberly assess what is happening and perfectly disguise the negative traits of her lover.
However, this is not our case. We understand perfectly well that we fell in love unsuccessfully and that we should get rid of the feeling. This means that you need to destroy the fictitious image and try to look at the young man differently. That is, from the point of view of his unattractiveness. I must say that this is not so simple - an emotional outburst creates a wall through which unsightly actions and traits are not visible. But we want to get rid of falling in love! This means we open our eyes wider, turn on our brains and debunk the man using practice-tested techniques.
Techniques to avoid falling in love with a guy's image
As we already understood, in order don't fall in love with a guy head over heels, we must first of all overthrow him from the pedestal of the ideal on which we ourselves erected him. That is, to understand that he is by no means the crown of creation and not the embodiment of a dream. What should you do to achieve this goal? There is nothing tricky about this. We just need to change our view of what we considered a man’s exceptional dignity, and pay more attention to the flaws in his appearance and behavior. That is, you need to change your attitude towards a person. To do this you will have to proceed approximately like this:
- The guy seemed extraordinary to us. Let's attribute this unusual behavior to inadequacy and the desire to show off;
- The young man was attracted by his mystery. Let's explain this quality by secrecy and a tendency to deceive;
- A man is interesting for his charisma and intelligence. Let's start thinking like this. Charisma is just charm, which in no way indicates the nobility of the soul. And high intelligence is often a companion to extreme selfishness and the inability to truly love. With such a person, if he becomes a life partner, it will obviously be difficult;
- The guy has amazing looks. Beauty in general is a broad and subjective concept, and even more so for men. It is likely that we considered the young man handsome under the influence of an already existing crush. And it may very well be that he really has an outstanding appearance - excellent physique, tall stature, courageous facial features. But, firstly, many girls like it! It turns out that a man will always have a lot of fans and is unlikely to resist temptations all the time. Secondly, such a brilliant exterior is not proof of fortitude. It may very well be that this “hero” actually has a cowardly, petty nature. And in a difficult moment, he will, without hesitation, betray anyone.
This is roughly how we need to change our impression of a person. To speed up this process, it is necessary to look for shortcomings of various kinds in it. Does the guy have unshaven armpits? What a horror, because one day he will certainly begin to smell strongly of sweat! Is the young man wearing a stale shirt? It looks like his socks are in the same condition... On the contrary, does he pay too much attention to hygiene and clothing? Ooooh, this generally makes one suspect a man of being excessively boring and narcissistic. And even in some interesting, not yet clearly expressed, inclinations.
We add everything to the list of shortcomings of the object of passion - ignoring or ignorance of the rules of etiquette, lack of taste, ignorance of basic issues and even the inability to fly an airplane. Oh, he can do it? Then it means she dances poorly. Or he doesn’t draw well. Or writes with errors. You never know! There would be a desire. Something repulsive can always be found in any person.
Doesn't work? In this case, we will resort to the help of girlfriends or mother. Let's describe the guy to them without bias, deliberately speaking about him in a negative way. We don’t need to think that this is somewhat immoral - we need to get it into our heads that a man is more bad than good. And if he cannot cope with this on his own, he will have to make sure that those around him scold him properly. Sometimes the opinion of loved ones has a sobering effect.
Comparing a young man with his previous crush helps a lot to destroy falling in love. But only when the comparison is in favor of the former gentleman and when this gentleman is remembered without disgust. Otherwise, we risk becoming even more attached to someone we want to forget. This is understandable - antipathy towards a former friend will automatically provoke an increase in sympathy for a current friend. We absolutely don't need this.
In general, in order not to lose your head over one person, you need to not give up flirting with others and favorably accept male signs of attention. This time, firstly, we will disperse our attention, and secondly, we will have options to choose from. Even if it seems that there is no better person in the world than the current chosen one. This is just focusing emotions on a specific object. The focus can be changed at any time. There is no suitable man nearby for this - let's focus on some actor, singer, or even a football player or political commentator! The main thing is that he evokes sympathy. Let's buy a photograph of a celebrity, stick it in a prominent place and tell ourselves - this man is really super! Our young man is very far from him!
Honestly, in the struggle between feelings and reason, feelings most often win. No, while your loved one is not around, your mind is still frolicking. But as soon as he appears on the horizon - amba! All rationalism evaporates without a trace, a cycle begins in the head, a vacuum forms in the pit of the stomach, the soul flies to the ground... So is it worth putting so much effort into getting rid of the feeling? Dear ladies, fall in love to your heart's content! After all, it’s not that important - a man is suitable or not. It is important to remain a living woman, capable of sadness, delight, and unreasonable actions. This is the only way to experience all the beauty of life and reserve the right to happiness.