How to love yourself: advice from psychologists. How to learn to love yourself - psychology and better processes

Many of us are unhappy in life and relationships only because we have not learned to love ourselves first of all.

Self-love is important not only for personal happiness, but also for success in life - such people are ready for great achievements, they feel much more confident, and boldly defend their boundaries and interests.

Whatever you do, love yourself for it. Whatever you feel, love yourself for feeling it.
Tadeusz Golas

Take care of yourself

The modern world and this crazy rhythm of life do not contribute to a person learning to love himself. We are daily imposed with many obligations, unnecessary desires and aspirations. Non-compliance with the established framework and stereotypes leads to rejection by society and the system.

The problem is not that it is difficult to comply with these established norms, but that they change every day. In all this turmoil, the eternal race for illusory ideals, we often completely forget about ourselves.

In order to learn to love yourself, it is important to take the time to listen to yourself. Be attentive to yourself, your personal, non-imposed desires and needs. Listen carefully to the voice of your heart, which is often drowned out by cries from outside.

Stop right now and think - what you are doing is really your personal desire. Which of your desires and needs have you ignored and suppressed because of embarrassment, fear of being misunderstood, condemned? Be attentive to yourself, not to the voices of the world around you.

Take care of your health

Often, especially young people, forget that health is the most valuable resource, which is very difficult, and sometimes impossible to restore. Reconsider your attitude to your own body - love it through taking care of your health.

Here are some tips from psychologists to help you love yourself:

• Plan a trip to a polyclinic or a private diagnostic center in the near future and undergo a complete examination of the whole body. Find out what diseases you have and start treatment gradually.
• Go to the dentist - often people spare money for this, put off the procedure of dental treatment for later, and in the end - they are left without them at a relatively young age. Stop putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done yesterday!
• Review your diet - go to the kitchen and start throwing away all processed foods, dangerous ready-made sauces, unnatural seasonings. Throw away anything that can harm you. Make a healthy menu for the week - you will spend 5 minutes on this, and you can extend your life by at least a couple of years. Based on this, buy groceries, and be sure to make sure that there are always a lot of fruits, vegetables and herbs on your table.
• Start playing sports - this is not only a way to show love and care for your own body, but also a great opportunity to get more vitality and get a great figure.
• Be sure to allow yourself good conditions for sleep. Do not be stingy and get a comfortable mattress, natural bedding, comfortable pillows. Much in our life depends on how and how much we sleep, so it’s worth taking care of your sleep.
• Find time and money to go to a health resort once a year, take a course of purification with mineral waters, or at least go once a month for a preventive massage.
• Do not forget that sometimes our body gives us signals that it needs to rest and recover. This can manifest itself as laziness.

Be attentive to your health - our body gives us signals, it is only important to learn to recognize them and respond in a timely manner.

Take care of your appearance

Most people gather carefully before leaving the house. Women remove makeup, do manicures, pedicures, hairstyles, depilation. Men shave, put on ironed shirts, suits, apply perfume, style the unruly strands of their beards. And who are they doing it for? That's right, for the people around you.

But, true self-love lies in taking care of your appearance not for the sake of other people, but first of all, for yourself. Therefore, even when you are at home - comb your hair, dress comfortably, but beautifully, and women can safely do their own makeup.

On weekends, you can visit beauty salons - if you wish, you will find funds for this. Buy yourself everything you need to look perfect - this is not only an act of self-love, but also a good investment in prolonging your youth and beauty.

The way you look now is a reflection of your self-love. See how much you love yourself, and start working on your appearance.

Comfortable communication

Another step on the path to self-respect and self-love is to cleanse your own environment of those people who bring you negativity.

Now it is important to consider:

• How many of the people around you make you angry and want to kill them?
• Who haven't you sent to all four sides just out of courtesy?
• Who constantly brings you to tears with their rudeness?
• Or maybe there are those who constantly get out and with their cunning and resourcefulness make you moan from impotence to resist them in any way?

Your love for yourself will be send them to hell and completely limit communication with such people. Become the person who chooses his own social circle and brings only those people with whom he does not have to constantly suffer and experience negative emotions.

If you don't love yourself, what do you want from others?

Don't be afraid of loneliness drive away the unworthy because your life is short and you probably don't want to live it next to idiots.

You don't have to feel guilty about wanting to be happy and feel comfortable around sincere and understanding smart people - this is your personal right and you deserve it!

It is important for every person to be able to love themselves. Self-love is taking care of yourself, satisfying desires, accepting your body and personality.

Loving yourself can be difficult, because from childhood, many are taught to give themselves to others, to be respectful of their elders, and to put themselves lower. Most have low self-esteem due to external influences, which can be difficult to raise.

Long reflections on the topic of why a person has low self-esteem, and he does not love himself, can be carried out for a long time, but it is better to immediately move on to action and really change:

• First, it's worth doing physical condition. Starting to play sports, you can feel the rise of energy, and over time, a toned shape will definitely give self-confidence. One has only to choose an interesting sport and start exercising.
• Secondly, you need learn to compliment yourself. In the morning, preening to go to work, you need to say nice things about your appearance and internal state, tune in to a successful and productive day.
• Third, worth learn to find strengths in yourself and emphasize them. If a girl has a particular appearance, she can focus on them with clothes or makeup. If a person has some unusual abilities, he can show them to friends or even to the whole world via the Internet.

It is also worth considering the weak or superfluous sides of your personality. How to change them? How do you get better at something? How to acquire a new skill? By answering questions like these, you can recognize what you need to work on and build an action plan based on that.

Also, when working on yourself, you must constantly analyze changes. You need to compare yourself with your past self - in no case with other people. You can be inspired by someone else’s experience, but you can’t wallow in envy or compare yourself with the fact that after years of hard work you have achieved the current result.

If you feel discomfort in a collision with a person of a higher level in a certain area, then it is better to keep a distance from such people so as not to hurt yourself. You can start communicating with them after, when you can get closer to their level.

You can love yourself by creating a positive image of yourself. It is necessary to think over the image of the future "I" from appearance to character and behavior.

The next step is to change your mind. At this stage, a rethinking of the attitude towards oneself is carried out. It is necessary not to justify your destructive actions, but to turn them into strengths. For example, some slowness of a person can be useful, as it protects against impulsive purchases of unnecessary things.

On the path of self-improvement, positive attitudes serve as a powerful tool. Having a mindset for success, realizing the inevitability of failures on the way and trying to cope with them, after a while each person will be able to reveal the full potential of his essence and love himself.

Self-love is the basis for a free and happy life that every person deserves, so you need to work on yourself, overcoming difficulties on the way to personal success.

Praise yourself for achievements and get rid of self-criticism

Many of us simply cannot live a day without blaming ourselves three hundred times for all the troubles and problems.

Our inner critic is such a vile creature that is constantly trying to kill self-confidence, crush self-condemnation with a tombstone, destroy motivation. In order for it not to destroy us and our love for ourselves, we need to get rid of it - our inner critic.

Instead of constantly beating yourself up, start turning a blind eye to some of your shortcomings and praising your accomplishments.

Allow yourself to enjoy every, even small success. Praise yourself - by doing this you will not only show love for yourself, but also raise faith in yourself and your success!

Psychologists say that many problems in a woman's life arise because she is too critical of herself, does not love herself. We often hear, “Love yourself. And everything in life will get better! But it's easier to say these words than to put them into practice. However, with a strong desire, you can raise your own self-esteem and love yourself in a short time.

First of all, it is necessary to define what it is - self-love. Many confuse it with narcissism and narcissism, when a person considers himself the "center of the universe" and thinks that everyone else is obviously worse than him. Loving yourself does not mean being selfish. These two feelings have nothing to do with each other.

True self-love is acceptance of your identity. You accept yourself, your character, your body and love, despite all the shortcomings. This is a modest and natural feeling that allows you to live without stress and feel like a happy person.

There are several signs of high self-esteem:

• Self-confidence in any situation
• Respect for your deeds and actions
• Feeling of lightness and happiness
• You live in harmony with yourself

If you only want to achieve all this, you need to learn how to love yourself.

Steps towards love

A sense of love and self-respect can be cultivated in oneself. To increase your self-esteem, you need to perform specific actions and control your feelings and emotions. Here are a few simple steps to start building your own self-esteem.

Kindness to yourself.

Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over the little things. Stop thinking about your shortcomings. All these thoughts should simply be thrown out of your head and not allowed to appear. From the day you decide to love yourself, all you need to say to yourself is compliments and nice words. In no case should you scold yourself for your appearance, since it does not always depend on us.

Many women reproach themselves for past mistakes. But it should be understood that admitting a mistake is already a big plus. What's the point of scolding yourself that a long time ago you did this and not otherwise? It is better to be kind and forgive yourself, not dwell on past mistakes and recognize them as invaluable life experiences.

Stop negative words and thoughts!

Our subconscious takes seriously all the words and thoughts that we send it. Stop thinking that you are ugly or fat, otherwise you will be like that. All negative thoughts and words should be immediately blocked. It often happens that we talk badly about ourselves in front of other people, subconsciously expecting compliments from them. Under no circumstances should this be done. It is better, looking at yourself in the mirror, to think about the good and compliment yourself.

Analysis of relationships with people

In life, we are surrounded by many different people. The advice of a psychologist says: you need to communicate only with those who do not cause negative emotions in you and do not bring negativity into your life. It is difficult to do this, but it is quite possible to achieve your goal. Instead of communicating with people you don’t like, it’s better to be in the company of yourself - it will be much more valuable and productive. Don't be afraid to change your social circle. After all, there are probably people in your environment, next to whom the soul rejoices and flourishes, and the mood rises.

The ability to say "no"

If you don’t have a heart for something, then you shouldn’t do it. Naturally, this does not include your daily duties: work, study, housework, activities with children - there is no escape from this. And there are things that you do without urgent need and without desire.

Actions during which you have to sacrifice your principles and desires lead to a decrease in your self-esteem. Your authority in your own eyes and self-respect are falling, you stop loving yourself. Most often, we do such actions when we do not want to offend or disappoint someone. For example, we go to a party, just so as not to upset the one who invited you, we buy an unnecessary thing, so that the seller is not offended.

You need to learn to say "no" to those people and things that you don't like. The main thing is not to feel guilty about it. You should do only what you want, showing love and respect for your own desires. Do not be afraid that someone will be offended by you. Learn to tactfully refuse and respect personal boundaries.

Love for your appearance

Look at yourself in the mirror and try to understand: do you love your face, your body? Do you accept yourself for who you are? You need to love your age, your weight, your figure, habits, character. It is difficult to find a woman who considers her figure and appearance ideal. Almost everyone sees flaws in themselves, sees their body as imperfect and wants to correct it.

For women, love for your body is especially important. Since childhood, most people have been given the idea that our figure is something imperfect that needs to be corrected. No one has canceled work on oneself, but one should not reach fanaticism in this and strive for perfection with all one's strength. This is an ongoing process. Extra pounds will go away - wrinkles will appear, cellulite will be replaced by gray hair and so on.

But in fact, our body is a gift that needs to be loved and cherished. Having fallen in love with your reflection in the mirror, you will very soon be convinced that the problem of excess weight is gone or no longer bothers you, and wrinkles and gray hair do not make you older than you are. Over the years, the body undergoes natural changes that cannot be stopped. Youth, maturity and decay are inevitable stages in the development of any living organism. If you constantly worry about it and look for every new wrinkle, then self-esteem will plummet.

Instead, you need to choose to enjoy your appearance, your face, body, hair. Your body really wants love, so take care of it, and it will be grateful to you.

Council the first. Getting to know your own body. To do this, you need to completely undress, stand in front of a mirror and carefully examine yourself. This time, you do not need to look for flaws and imperfections in yourself, you must make sure that your body is beautiful. To enhance your emotions, run your hand over your skin, feel its softness and velvety, consider the smooth curves, dimples and bulges.
Find the part of your body that you like the most and admire it, touch it. For example, you have a large chest, or a thin waist, or even beautiful collarbones - it can be anything. Turn around in front of a mirror to take a closer look at your beauty from all angles.
This exercise should be done twice a week. Gradually, you will not only get used to your body, but also love it the way it is.

Tip two. Personal care. Often we hear the expression “well-groomed woman”, if you want to be like that, then you must definitely take care of yourself. Just imagine a room in which no one has put things in order for a long time: it will look neglected and untidy. So what do you want from your body if you don't take care of it? Many women will object and say that they cleanse and moisturize their skin daily, and sometimes even pamper themselves with masks.

But not only the process is important, but also how it is executed. Self-care should not be combined with household chores or other concerns. You need to completely relax and enjoy the procedure, whether it's a bubble bath or a cleansing facial mask. That is, all care procedures should not be mechanical, but conscious. A procedure done in passing will not bring much benefit, you need to immerse yourself in the process, as they say, with your head.
Self-care also includes stretching, physical activity. But you need to do this only if the process really gives you pleasure. When you do something for your body, it is important to be in contact with it and in harmony, not to be distracted by extraneous stimuli.

Tip three. Pleasures for the body. You need to not only love and care for your body, but also pamper it. It is through the body that we know the world, feel and feel it. Any pleasurable bodily experience will do as a pleasure for your body. Everything here is purely individual. Some people like silk sheets, others enjoy the aroma of their favorite perfume, the delicate fabric of underwear, a massage from a professional massage therapist, the touch of fur, or even the hands of a loved one.

Even the simplest things can bring a lot of pleasure. Stretch your whole body in the morning - it's so nice!
And then brew yourself delicious coffee, feeling its delicious aroma. On the street, do not withdraw into yourself, but expose your face to a light breeze and gentle sun, inhale the aromas of fresh greenery or a frosty morning. Feel your body, its movements, learn to enjoy the very opportunity to move freely and easily.

Council the fourth. Attention to the body. When you learn to love and pamper your body, start listening to it. The body gives us signals that must be noticed. The most common is pain, usually severe enough for us to accurately notice it. And we often do not pay attention to minor ailments, deterioration in well-being. But in vain! Eliminating it is much easier than fixing more serious consequences later. Pay attention to what you eat and how you do it. Most often, we eat on a schedule at the same time, or vice versa, without any mode, when a free minute appears. Eat when you really want to. And preference should be given to those dishes that you like. The rules of a healthy diet are good, but sometimes it is worth listening to the needs of your body. If you adhere to the principles of a healthy diet, but you are unbearably craving a cake, nothing bad will happen from one piece. Our body signals us about what nutrients it lacks.
Next, pay attention to sleep. Usually we spare time to sleep, leaving it for later, for the weekend, in general, following the residual principle. There is always something more important and necessary or more interesting that distracts us from this vital process. A sleepy person loses his vitality much faster, his reaction slows down, attention drops. Chronic sleep deprivation can even lead to illness.

Tip five. Presenting yourself correctly. Even the most beautiful person will not look like that if he is dressed in inappropriate clothes. the ability to dress, look stylish and attractive is one of the tricks that will help you fall in love with your own body. It is not necessary to dress expensively, but clothes should suit you and emphasize the dignity of your figure.

Psychologists give another good piece of advice on how to love your own body: stop comparing yourself to other people. You can only compare yourself in the present with yourself in the past. At the same time, only positive points should be noted.

Self respect

Until you have self-respect, you will not be able to live in harmony with yourself. It is respect that is the basis of self-love, without which it is impossible to enjoy life to the fullest.

It's impossible to love someone you don't respect.

Respect is about standing up for yourself, showing your personality, and showing others that you are truly worthy of respect. At the same time, defending one's own opinion should not be accompanied by scandal or noise. It is important to do this calmly and with dignity, then you will be treated accordingly.

Most of us are used to either silently swallowing insults and insults, or responding to them by sliding down to the level of the offender. Often after this, we are tormented by the fact that we could not find the right words and get out of the situation with dignity. But you definitely need to learn how to do this, forgetting the settings given to us in childhood. Children are rarely taught to love themselves, teachers do not always treat children with respect, just like other adults. As we grow, we get used to the fact that fighting back is unacceptable. These attitudes carry over with us into adulthood.

It is very difficult to learn not to experience these emotions and deal with them. But if you wish, you can refuse them once and for all. You need to go through this in order to learn to truly love and respect yourself. In general, there are two ways out of the conflict situation:

• Forgive the person and let go
• Reply to the offender without losing dignity, without sinking to his level

Both options are suitable for cultivating self-esteem and self-love. Each person experiences the aggressive influence of others. Anger can be directed specifically at you or just in society, but it is not necessary to experience negative emotions at all.

Distract and do not react to the irritant, especially if the meeting with such a person is short-term - for example, in line or on the bus.

If you don't like something, be sure to talk about it. Don't hide dissatisfaction in yourself. A calm and friendly tone will help solve any problem. Negative emotions should appear in your life as little as possible.

Methods for raising self-esteem

Before raising your self-esteem, you need to determine at what level it is. On a blank sheet of paper, draw a vertical line and put a dot on it. In this case, the dot symbolizes you and your attitude towards yourself. The lower the point on the graph, the lower your level of self-love. The best option is the middle, it means an adequate perception of oneself. If the point is much above average, then your self-love borders on adoration.

If self-love is clearly not enough for you, try training to cultivate it.

First exercise- quite simple and common. Take a sheet of paper and vertically divide it into two parts. On the left, write everything, even, in your opinion, your most insignificant virtues. On the right side of the sheet - your negative qualities that you would like to change in yourself. Look at the list on the right side and carefully cross out, paint over each word in it. Then tear off this half of the sheet and destroy it in any way - burn it, tear it into small pieces, cut it with scissors, flush it down the toilet, blow it in the wind. Save the remaining half and memorize these words. Every morning, in front of the mirror, repeat a list of your positive traits, starting with the words: “I am ...”. Every 3-4 days the list should be updated with a new quality. If it happens more often, even better.

Second exercise performed in the evenings. Sit down and focus, remember everything that happened during the day and praise yourself. Let for some little things or minor actions, but be sure to praise. Don't compare yourself to others, but compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Follow the dynamics, you can make notes in a notebook.

Step by step exercise which is useful for every woman. First you need to imagine your image - this is what you would like to become. It should be not only appearance, but also character, thoughts, behavior. Imagine a specific picture in which there will be a lot of details. The image should not differ too much from the original. Analyze the resulting image and remove all negativity from it. That is, you should position all your negative qualities as positive ones. For example, slowness is not a flaw, but just your feature. Perhaps you just take a more balanced approach to the performance of your tasks and responsibilities. In the same vein, consider each of your qualities. After that, your image will be more solid and complete.

Compare the resulting image with what you are now. If the self-image has a positive content, then this has a great effect on self-esteem.

• External factors are not important for true self-love. It doesn't matter what car you have, T-shirt, hairstyle - it's all external, temporary. It doesn't even matter if you have a family, children, a loved one. self-sufficiency is one of the signs of true self-love.
• Mistakes and shortcomings are your experience, your exceptional traits. Your mistakes have brought you to the point in life where you are now. And flaws are a reflection of your personality. However, it is important to understand here that the fight against negative qualities is still underway: you strive to become better and better every day.
• Love doesn't need a reason. This also applies to self-love. If the phrase “I love myself because ...” appears in my head, then this is obviously a false path.
• You need to love and respect not only your body, but also your mind. Try not to watch TV, read useful literature, develop your mind and not clog it with unnecessary information.
• Stop judging others, then you will be more condescending about your own life. Judgment is a negative that should be avoided in your life. In a conversation, you can be surprised and start a new, interesting topic for you.
• Reward and pamper yourself. For example, when you reach a certain goal, give yourself a gift. Let it be a day off, a visit to the spa, or just buying a cake.
• Stop crying and complaining, avoid this when communicating with other people. Nobody wants to love whiners, they love strong personalities who can solve their problems. If there is a person in your environment who constantly cries into your vest, just remove him from your circle.
• Trust yourself. Your desires, your intuition and intentions - all this must be put into practice, unless, of course, it has good intentions. You should not live someone else's life and behave "like everyone else", so as not to stand out from the environment.
• Find a goal and strive to reach it. It should be a really big and exciting task that will be challenging, interesting and important. This will help you become an interesting person, and first of all interesting for yourself.

By rethinking your life, you can raise your self-esteem, love yourself and really enjoy every moment. Happy people attract positivity - love yourself and test it for yourself.

How to learn to love yourself in our modern world, because it is very important to have self-esteem, but, unfortunately, a considerable number of people underestimate their place among others.

What is self love

Love is acceptance without conditions and reservations, with all the pluses and minuses. A person who wants love does not have to prove to others that he is better. To love yourself, you need to be confident in yourself and know your strengths.

So what do you have to do to love yourself?

1. Forgive yourself for wrongdoing. Guilt has a negative effect on a person if it is no longer relevant and has no boundaries. It is worth letting go of all the bad things that have been done. Mistakes are normal. Even if it is no longer possible to fix something, it is still worth letting go and forgiving yourself. This does not mean that you can immediately relax and repeat everything again. With the help of mistakes, you can gain experience and some knowledge, so that later you do not do everything in the same way.
2. Accept yourself. It is necessary to fully accept yourself with what nature has created, to realize your own individuality. All people are unique. At first, this is not at all easy to do, but after this stage it becomes easier to truly love yourself. You need to respect yourself even with all the shortcomings. They are also part of the personality. In every person there is good and bad, but you cannot love only virtues and pluses. This is not true love.
3. Stop depending on the opinions of others. Very often, the opinion of others prevents you from accepting yourself. Yes, the love of others can help in this difficult journey, but the most important thing is your own opinion about yourself, and not someone else's. Love is in the person himself, and not in his relatives, spouse or friends. Stop criticizing yourself. Self-criticism leads to self-destruction. It's one thing to soberly assess your shortcomings, and another thing to smash yourself to smithereens because of them. The result will be the opposite of what is expected.
4. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Oddly enough, but self-pity also carries only negative. Turning yourself into a “victim” is the wrong approach. It is important to look at yourself correctly and not exaggerate.
5. Try to be better. Despite accepting yourself, it is still worth continuing to improve yourself. Correction of imperfections will bring a good effect. From the realization that he is able to change for the better, and from new virtues, a person begins to truly love himself. The most important thing is not to “get sick” with narcissism.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others. This tactic will not lead to anything good, rather the opposite. As mentioned above, all people are different. At the same time, everyone is equal, there are no those who could be better only by definition. It’s one thing to look up to strong personalities, it’s another thing to constantly compare yourself with them and find new flaws in yourself.
7. Stop judging others. Even if they really don't seem that good, it's still not worth criticizing them. This occupation only accumulates negativity and prevents the emergence of love, rather provokes narcissism - "everyone is bad, but I am beautiful." Do not allow inaccuracy in appearance. Appearance also matters. It is necessary not only to love your body, but also to begin to follow it. Appearance can say a lot about a person. As they say, they are greeted by clothes.
8. Start and get them. Let them be petty - for example, do exercises in the morning or learn how to cook a dish according to a new recipe. This will help, over time, increase “requests” and become more stubborn, instill in a person willpower, self-confidence and fighting spirit. And this is a reason to be proud of yourself.
9. Start looking for reasons to be proud of yourself. You cannot compare yourself with others, but you can (and should!) compare yourself with yourself. With yourself yesterday or the day before yesterday. And most importantly, you need to find at least one thing that distinguishes the current version of yourself from the past for the better. This is a reason to be proud of yourself.

• Council the first. Lists. You need to make two lists. In the first, a person writes what he likes about himself. It can be some moral qualities or external signs, or maybe victories and achievements. In the second - on the contrary, everything is negative. The second list is then torn into small pieces or burned. The "positive" list is memorized. Every three days there must be added a new word.
• Tip two. New and good. Every evening you need to write down on a piece of paper at least a few small victories that happened to a person during the day. It can be a successfully caught cup flying from a shelf. Or beautifully done makeup, which was noted by one of the acquaintances. Or maybe some new positive self-perception or personal achievement. Such lists will help to make sure of your own strengths and capabilities.
• Tip three. Find merit. This tip is about looks. A person stands in front of a mirror and simply looks at himself, naming the pluses in his appearance. It can be silky hair, a beautiful eye color or a nice lip line. Even skin color. Accepting your appearance is also very important.
• Council the fourth. "My!". A person examines his body, from his toes to the ends of his hair, and repeats only one word: "Mine." It should sound joyful, absolutely without negativity, with a sense of satisfaction that this body is really “his”. Even some shortcomings and ordinary phenomena - everything should be perceived joyfully. It can be hard at first, but then this exercise helps to treat yourself with sincere love.

All for now.
Sincerely, Vyacheslav.

Psychologists talk a lot and often about the need to love yourself. Experts are convinced that this is necessary for the correct formation of a full-fledged personality. But what is self love? Perhaps in ensuring a comfortable existence for yourself? But will this not be a manifestation of selfishness in relation to loved ones? There are many different questions that need to be answered.

So how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman? Why do complexes appear? Are they objective? So, let's figure out how to love yourself like that and what are the ways to normalize self-esteem?

Why you need to love yourself

Statistics say that almost half of women are dissatisfied with themselves, their appearance, some character traits or quality of life, which causes many complexes and depression. They do not know how to love and appreciate themselves. How then can a woman expect recognition and understanding from others?

Self-love does not mean neglect of loved ones. This desire to be better, smarter, more beautiful, to succeed in life. It will fill you with self-confidence and confidence in a brighter future.

Often women do not understand this and continue to suffer in silence, considering themselves unlucky and unhappy. However, the ability to love yourself must be learned. This is a daily work that requires patience and perseverance, which will reward you with harmony and peace in your own soul. Many do not understand how to love yourself, but the advice of a psychologist will help to cope with this difficult task.

How to learn to love yourself

• Above all, allow yourself to be imperfect.

No one is able to know and be able to do everything, even the most beautiful, rich and famous. Every person makes mistakes in life, maybe irreparable. He forgives them to other people, why can't he forgive himself? You should learn from them so as not to commit in the future, but not be tormented by the thought that nothing can be corrected. We must be able to let go of the past, drawing the necessary conclusions.

• No need to feel sorry for yourself, creating the image of the victim

Pity gives rise to a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Even a person deprived of nature, a disabled person can find himself in this life if he has sufficient willpower. Why should a healthy, pretty and full of strength woman feel sorry for herself?

• Getting things done is a prerequisite

Unfinished business indicates weakness, defeat, inability to deal with difficulties.

• No need to compare with other people

Every woman is unique in her own way. It is better to compare yourself today with yesterday and celebrate positive changes. It is worth praising yourself more often for the successes achieved, even the smallest ones. It's even better to write them down. Every day they will increase, and along with this, self-confidence will appear. You only need to celebrate your merits. Everyone has flaws, so don't dwell on them.

• Happy people who do what they love all their lives

Choosing an occupation to her liking, a woman achieves much greater success. They inspire, add self-confidence, remove negative emotions.

Exercises

How to accept yourself as such and what is the technique that helps to love the real you? There are a few simple exercises that should be done daily:

• going to the mirror, you need to praise yourself; at first, during training, internal tension will arise, but over time it will disappear;
• slouching is a sign of low self-esteem, self-doubt, so every day you need to work on your posture and gait in order to learn how to keep your back straight and your head high.

A woman receives from the surrounding world a mirror reflection of those emotions and the attitude that she feels and sends to him. And self-love fills her with joyful, positive feelings. At the same time, self-respect should not be confused with pity or selfishness. After all, there are two types of such feelings.

• Self-admiration is most common when it seems to a person that he is the best.
• The second is based on self-pity and the belief that the whole of life is sheer bad luck and injustice.

Both types of self-esteem are contrary to reality. In order to make it adequate, first of all, it is necessary to recognize this contradiction. How can you love yourself when you are selfish or insecure?! Of course, this is impossible.

Methodology for improving self-esteem

Psychology has different methods of increasing self-esteem. One of them offers to look at yourself from the side, as a stranger, and find real features that command respect. This requires the following steps.

• You need to sit in silence and remember the pleasant moments of life that cause a feeling of pride in your actions. You should write them down on paper.
• The next step is to write down the memories that left a feeling of embarrassment and shame for their behavior. You should analyze these events and find out their causes. Then you need to forgive yourself for mistakes and not return to them anymore.
• Comparing the results of two exercises, you need to find a middle ground, your real qualities.
• It is necessary to make two more lists: the first will include objects and events that you like, cause positive emotions, and the second - those that provoke a feeling of irritation.
• You should think about how to remove from your life those phenomena that cause negativity. If this is not possible, you need to change your attitude towards them and not get annoyed because of their presence. It is better to accept these things as inevitable, like rain or snow, which someday will end.
• The first list should be used as an antidepressant that helps improve mood, restore interest in life.

These simple exercises will help you fall in love with yourself, and in the future will improve not only mental but also physical health.

Reverse action

The attitude to the world around is important, that is, to those events, people, things and circumstances among which a woman lives. This is a reality that gives joy and sorrow, and we must be grateful for life. After all, there is no other world and never will be. You can not condemn other people: acquaintances, relatives, colleagues. They must be held accountable for their decisions and actions.

If there is something annoying in others, you need to analyze your behavior. It is believed that those character traits that a person condemns in others are present in himself, which is why they hurt him. We must try to correct them in ourselves, or we will have to put up with them in others. Having accepted your shortcomings and stopped constantly criticizing yourself, it is easier to cope with complexes, raise self-esteem.

• smile in response to an insult;
• if money runs out, donate a certain amount to charity;
• Fear can be overcome with laughter.

Thus, by giving kindness and love to the world around you, you can get more of the same in return.

Relationship with parents

If you look for the origins of self-dislike, you often have to return to your childhood. Usually the reasons lie in the plane of the relationship of parents with daughters and sons. In trying to see their dreams come true through their children, many moms and dads put undue pressure on them. Resentment against parents sometimes passes through many years.

To get rid of this destructive emotion, you need to learn to forgive - and your parents, and yourself, and other people. How to learn to accept yourself, your mom and dad the way everyone is? Psychologists suggest doing the following for this.

• If you remember how your mother scolded you in childhood, you need to say kind and affectionate words to her, even if at first it will be difficult.
• You have to take care of old relatives. Help will respond with gratitude, and she, in turn, will return with vital energy.
• No need to try to please everyone, including parents and relatives. It's still impossible.
• Help must be selfless. At the same time, you shouldn't let anyone manipulate you. The person himself must determine the amount of his help.

In relations with your parents, you should try to form a positive common memory, it will help you forget and forgive childhood grievances. It is worth trying to open your emotions without blaming anyone. Joint discussion of long-standing grievances will help. If the parents are no longer alive, you should try to reproduce this conversation in your imagination and forgive them.

Think Positive

How to love yourself? To do this, you need to learn to be grateful to yourself and to this world. It is important to find every day a small reason for joy. Gratitude phrases can be written down and read at any convenient time. Thoughts are material, so they should always be positive.

Often women try to push away, drive away those memories that cause pain. They want to get rid of experiences, but sadness and longing return with even greater force. But these feelings cannot be ignored, they must be experienced in order to then be forced out of the head.

There are some more useful tips that will help you understand how to love yourself as a woman:

• good deeds not only, they will cause an increase in vital energy - it can be charity or volunteering;
• do not hold back and hide your emotions, but you should not let them control you;
• there is no need to transfer the outbreak of negative emotions to others - it is better to retire and calm down, let go of the situation;
• you need to learn love from others, live a full life, enjoy an interesting book or film, laugh at a good joke, give gifts, and soon the world will reciprocate;
• you need to try to let go and do something that you always wanted to, for example, go on a trip, or jump with a parachute.

Knowing how to accept yourself, you will be able to learn to love, forgive and see yourself and the world as they are. As a result, you can safely look to the future. It will be beautiful and will give kindness and recognition in return.

What is self love? Often we all understand that loving yourself is incredibly important. At the same time, it is incredibly difficult. And probably the first thing we should do in our lives is to love ourselves truly, learn to truly respect and accept ourselves.

But when it comes to practice, the big question is, “What does it mean to love yourself?”

Questions to which you will find answers by reading this article.

• How to love yourself for real?
• How to develop self love?
• Can you make yourself fall in love?
• How can you learn to accept yourself the way you are?
• What are the ways to do this?

The main thing is not to expect it to happen quickly. The process of accepting yourself and developing a feeling of love will take some time. Understand that if you have lived enough time without self-love, then it would be naive to expect it to happen in one night or a week.

Nevertheless, you can notice the results of working on yourself from the very first days. Once you make that decision—that you want to love yourself, that you want to learn how to love yourself, and take action—you will notice incredible changes. These will be changes in your life, in the people around you, these will be.

Self love is the path everyone should take.

This is the most important path in our life. Because without self-love, without a sense of unity with yourself, without deep and sincere respect for yourself and your actions, without fully accepting yourself as a person, you will not have anything worthwhile in this life - your personal life will not work out, success will not come and there will be no happiness.

Love for oneself is the foundation, it is a solid foundation on which the building of our whole life is built. And so that it never collapses and does not even squint, we need to learn to experience this divine feeling in relation to ourselves.

Loving yourself does not mean being selfish. Also, do not confuse self-love with narcissism, they are completely different things. In the first case, we are talking about a deep acceptance of oneself as a person, in the other - empty narcissism and exposing one's Ego for show.

How to love yourself. 5 steps towards you

The proposed methods of developing a positive attitude towards oneself are time-tested and very effective. By following this step-by-step instruction, you can regain this feeling you once lost. Feelings of love, self-respect and self-acceptance.

Step 1. Be kind to yourself.

This means not to reproach yourself for no reason, not to scold yourself over trifles, not to endow yourself with negative epithets - “you are so ugly, you weigh too much, you have crooked legs, you are stupid”, etc.

Be kind to yourself! Never blame yourself for your past mistakes. They are not made by those who do nothing at all. The very fact of recognition and understanding that you made a mistake is already a huge plus in your direction! Many never admit their mistakes. Just forgive yourself and move on, don't dwell on it. Learn from your mistakes instead of using them as a whip to beat yourself up.

Sometimes we do not forgive ourselves for such stupid things that it's hard to even believe it. We cannot forgive ourselves for protruding ears, extra pounds, freckles on the face, or too sparse or thick hair.

All this is complete nonsense! From now on, we say only good words to ourselves!

Our subconscious does not have a sense of humor, it does not understand when we are joking and when we are serious. It is so arranged that it perceives everything at face value.

Remember that when you tell yourself “bad words” like “I’m scary, I’m clumsy, I’m lazy, I’m fat”, even if you don’t really think so, then the unconscious in you writes all this down, stores it in memory cells and will act accordingly.

The word is not a sparrow, it will fly out - you won’t catch it

Teach yourself to say "STOP!" whenever you catch yourself having negative thoughts or words addressed to you. Often we scold ourselves in front of other people, unconsciously belittle ourselves in the eyes of others. Quit this bad habit once and for all! - thus you will take a huge step towards yourself, towards an ideal and loving relationship with your own person.

Be kind to yourself! Become your own best friend! Become your most valuable asset. You are your treasure! You are the best thing in your life. Go to the mirror more often, talk to yourself, call yourself by name, as well as affectionate words, praise and encourage yourself!

Step 2: Clean up your relationship

Free your world from negative people. Cleanse your social circle of those with whom you are uncomfortable and who cause negative emotions in you.

It doesn't happen overnight and it's not easy to do. But just set yourself such a goal, and you will definitely achieve it.

For example, you were invited to a party. You do not like to sit alone at home, but at the same time, you do not want to communicate with some people. Don't force yourself! Refuse to meet with those whose communication destroys you, who does not bring joy into your life, who takes away your strength and vitality, who sets you up for negativity.

It's like slow suicide! It is much more valuable to be in company with yourself than to spend time in such an environment. It’s better to be alone all your life than to communicate with such specimens.

There are always people around us who suppress us and there are those next to whom we literally blossom and fill with energy. The choice is always yours.

Do not be afraid to change your social circle, remember that a holy place is never empty. And instead of “unnecessary ballast”, those with whom you have common views, interests and one worldview will come into your life. Yes, it won't happen right away, but it WILL happen. Gradually, living and open people will gather around you “without a stone in your bosom”, without hidden envy or anger.

Try to follow one golden rule when communicating with people:

If you sincerely like a person, get out of your head and forget about all the barriers and your differences, whether it be social status or something else. Because this is communication at the level of your Souls, and it is worth a lot.

If you don’t like someone wholeheartedly, refuse to communicate with him, no matter what benefits or advantages it promises you.

Step 3. Don't do something you don't feel like doing.

You say, how not to do it, if necessary? You have to get up early for work, you have to do the cleaning, washing and cooking. We need to take our son to kindergarten and check my daughter's lessons. And I don't really want to do all this.

Here we are talking about something completely different. All these are everyday, routine tasks and duties from which we cannot escape. And there are things that go against our inner convictions, contrary to our worldview and mentality. These are the circumstances in which we are forced to compromise our principles.

It is these actions and deeds of ours that lower our self-esteem and self-respect, destroy our authority in our own eyes. It is they who become the cause of dislike for themselves and the loss of friendly relations with their personality.

All these situations are mainly related to the fact that we do something that we do not like, for fear of upsetting or offending the person.

We go where we don’t want to, so as not to offend the one who invited us, we buy things that we don’t need, so as not to upset the seller, we accept offers that we cannot refuse because we don’t want to spoil the relationship.

It is very important to remember that whenever you step over yourself and literally force yourself to do something that you do not like, you are doing irreparable harm to yourself and your relationships. Thus, you show deep disrespect and dislike for yourself, for your Inner Self.

You must put an end to this. You need to learn how to say NO. You need to learn how to tactfully refuse. Calmly, without guilt, say: "I'm sorry, but I have other plans for today."

Allow yourself the luxury of doing what you want! And over time, this will become your good habit and norm of behavior.

Don't be afraid to offend other people. If they are offended, you have absolutely nothing to do with it, this is their problem.

Your job is to respect your personal boundaries and stay TRUE to YOURSELF.

Step 4. Love your body

Think about how you accept your body? To what extent are you able to love and 100% accept yourself the way you are? Accept and love your age, your shape, your figure, your weight, your habits and your character.

Love for your body is especially important for women. Most of us grew up with the idea that our body is something imperfect and unfinished. This is what we need to improve, fix, over which we need to constantly work and bring to perfection.

And this, in fact, is not the end. As soon as we get rid of extra pounds, they are replaced by cellulite, wrinkles or gray hair.

Being in the process of endless improvement, we forget one fundamental thing - our body is given to us for enjoyment. This is a gift and a gift from the Almighty! The body needs to be cared for and loved.

Very soon you will be able to see for yourself that if you love your body, if you completely trust it (that is, you do not perceive it as a traitor who betrays your age, gets sick at the wrong time and secretly puts off kilograms), when you consider the body to be your ally and the most a close creature for you, you will see that your body comes towards you and begins to reciprocate.

Your well-being will change before your eyes, the problem of excess weight will either disappear forever, or it will cease to be an eternal splinter for you.

We must learn to calmly accept the fact that inevitable changes occur with our body over the years. We are all born to go through the stages of youth, maturity and decay. And by looking for signs of aging, we steal our moments of happiness.

Changes in our body are inevitable, and we have a choice - either to suffer endlessly for this every year we live, or to choose to enjoy the moments that we have now.

Love your wrinkles - they are a sign that your body is ALIVE!

You won't believe how much our body yearns for love! How much it expects gratitude and care from you!

Love your body, take care of it, be grateful to it and it will surely reciprocate!

Step 5. Learn to respect yourself

Until we begin to love ourselves, until we live in comfort with ourselves, until we learn to respect ourselves, we will not be able to truly open up and enjoy life. It is impossible to love yourself without self-respect.

The ability to respect yourself as a person, the ability to stand up for yourself and show that you are worthy of respect is a very important condition on the path to self-love. Self-respect is an integral part of a harmonious sense of self. No one will ever treat us with respect until we learn how to do it in relation to ourselves.

There are situations when you were rude or treated rudely and impolitely. And many do not consider the right to stand up for themselves with dignity. Not snapping back, not making a fuss and not starting a scandal.

We're just not taught it. We are accustomed to silently swallow our resentment, and then suffer for a long time and torture ourselves with remorse about the fact that we could not answer at its true worth.

It's just that no one taught us that. "Who are you? Don't you dare contradict me!" We hear from our parents since childhood. Often, even at school, teachers treat us disrespectfully, shifting our rejection of ourselves onto us. While we are small, we get used to the fact that we are not allowed to rebuff adults.

Then we ourselves become adults, but our psyche remains at the same age category - at the level of small children.

And every time we have to stand up for ourselves and show self-respect, the same fear from our childhood crawls to the surface of consciousness. And the action includes an internal program, which psychologists call "chew, swallow and digest." This is especially true for those who were the youngest child in the family or grew up in an authoritarian family.

We are just used to experiencing emotions of pain, humiliation, inner anger, aggression and resentment from the inability to stand up for ourselves. And, we ourselves unconsciously create situations in our lives where we could again experience these negative emotions.

How to deal with it? How do you learn to respect yourself and stop attracting these kinds of situations into your life?

The answer lies in refusing to experience such emotions. Get rid of them once and for all. This is not easy to do, but you need to go through it in order to start loving yourself for real.

And once again, when you find yourself in a situation where you are treated disrespectfully, insulted or humiliated, track this emotion, consciously feel this aggression or irritation and transform them. You do not need to leave them in yourself and not accumulate, this is fraught with disorders of the nervous system and respiratory diseases.

You have two ways out of this situation - from yourself to the person who hurt you, or to answer him.

But answer with dignity. Without sinking to the level of your abuser, without speaking his language. Nothing good will come of it and it will hardly add respect to yourself.

Self respect always respects others

You need to learn how to respond to aggression against you without reciprocal aggression and anger. In a calm and even tone of a self-confident person, express your attitude to this. It is not at all necessary to experience negative emotions in order to stand up for yourself and show what is acceptable for us and what is not, and that you deserve a better attitude.

Do not be silent if you do not like something - state it calmly and kindly - and in most cases the conflict will be settled immediately.

Ignore people who appear negatively in your path for a short time - in line or in transport, for example. There are a lot of bad people around. Learn not to notice them, make them invisible to yourself, and gradually there will be fewer and fewer such people in your life.

Let go of negative emotions and start a new chapter in your life. The one in which you can say: "I respect myself!". Your new image is an image that deserves respect.

I also recommend not to be lazy, but to adopt 5 more useful tips on how how can you love yourself and from tomorrow to say "Hi!" new "I"!

Practical Examples of Self-Love

Self-love is shown in small details. The way we treat ourselves in our daily activities speaks volumes about our love or dislike of ourselves. This short video (by Ada Konde WOMANUR) provides practical examples and advice on how to treat yourself even in the smallest moments of our lives.

How to love yourself? Practical psychology

In this interesting video, Ekaterina Prokhorova, a popular psychologist and host of Cognitive TV, will share her secrets on the topic of self-love with you. After watching this short video (09:16), you will be able to understand that the person closest to you is yourself.

How to make yourself fall in love?

Making yourself fall in love is impossible. It's completely pointless and hopeless. But to convince your subconscious of the sincerity of feelings towards yourself is possible and very necessary.

In addition to the topic of self-love and to consolidate this feeling in the depths of my subconscious, I recommend using modern psi-technologies and going through a wonderful audio-visual hypno-course "HEALING POWER OF LOVE".

This wonderful hypnosession, which I recently went through myself and can confirm its effectiveness, is aimed at developing true self-love and self-acceptance as a person.

After passing it, you will be able to love yourself deeper, and filled with this love, you will feel an irresistible desire to give it to others and begin to receive love in return in abundance!

Interesting