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How should the first wedding night go? Sacraments of the first wedding night: preparation, traditions and signs

No one speaks out loud about the secret of the wedding night; even parents explain it to the newlyweds in patter and hints. For some reason, they believe that life itself will teach and, for example, a young man does not need to know about the subtleties of the bride’s psychological experiences. However, the groom himself often finds himself in a state of complete psychological confusion. So, nature itself helps the newlyweds thoroughly and unmistakably.

Until recently, chastity, maiden and youthful purity, preserved until the time of social maturity, caused irony and ridicule among some young people, and were awarded the epithet “philistinism.” This is again a consequence of the trends of foreign concepts of “free love”. Their exponents are not only tired, but frankly speaking, tired of lack of ideas, monotonous emptiness, unnatural disregard for feelings, demonstrative contempt for chastity, honesty and dignity. Even in the bourgeois world, interest in this unnatural phenomenon is noticeably lost.

Given the unhealthy trends, we must take a firm stand on virginity. Of course, girls who have lost their virginity should not feel neglected. However, virginity may become increasingly important and needs to be addressed.

The anatomical structure of a woman’s organs has its own characteristics. The hymen can be thin, and this immediately leads to minor bleeding after the first intimacy. The one-and-a-half hymen can stretch and may not tear. The young man needs to know this, who may in this case doubt the innocence of his bride. He must also take into account the fact that in an earlier period, childhood or adolescence, the vaginal hymen may be accidentally injured or torn by something. In general, I think young men should not despair when their chosen ones do not appear intact. The main thing in the unity of a married couple is complete trust, sincerity and love. It is these qualities, already on the first wedding night and in the future, that help to discover in a loved one the moral values and feelings necessary for a happy life.

Finally, a virgin may turn out to be frivolous, promiscuous, and unfaithful. On the contrary, a woman who has had sexual experience is able to reveal unshakable devotion to her loved one.

A young, inexperienced man, who often relies on the advice of his comrades, must first take into account the woman’s personal feelings and not traumatize them. It is necessary to take into account some advice from medical specialists. It is good when, on their wedding night, the newlyweds are not ashamed to seek qualified medical instruction. Thanks to this, you can avoid not only significant physical, but also psychological injuries.

You shouldn’t expect mutual satisfaction, joy, or orgasm on your wedding night. This can be prevented not only by pain when the hymen is torn, but also by many other external circumstances of the first “sexual encounter”. In subsequent moments of intimate life, harmony in relationships will begin to be established.

Awkwardness, mistakes - a natural phenomenon for the first wedding night

Restraint and hope for complete spiritual and physical unity always lead to the desired results. As for the desired orgasm for newlyweds during sexual intercourse, in women it is often late, occurs later, sometimes only after the first birth. Therefore, you should not immediately call your wife cold. When necessary, an experienced gynecologist or sexologist will always suggest both a position and a technique in which sexual intercourse will become complete and will give rise to an incomparable feeling of closeness between lovers.

The next honeymoon is just as important.

That's when he and she get to know each other in private and in the most unexpected situations. In one of the Moscow registry offices, just over 400 people registered their marriages within a month, and about 300 young people filed for divorce. What's the matter? Most divorce petitions cited incompatibility of character. In fact, the reason lay in the amazing similarity of characters. 60 percent of those who separated had deficiencies not only in sexual, but also in moral education. Therefore, in the relationship, instead of humanity, tolerance for the habits of the other, conditioned by the previous family educational process, on both sides there was stubbornness, inability to respect and love each other. Apparently, we didn’t have the patience to wait, take a closer look at each other, and get used to it. Premature conclusions about the lack of proper character, mutual, unrestrained irritability, and in fact, the lack of proper upbringing, led to divorce.

In the old days, matchmakers were interested not only in the wealth and material security of the bride and groom. They were also interested in moral reputation, degree of good manners, respect for elders and society as a whole. The matchmakers were also interested in the health of the newlyweds. They understood and knew that, for example, people who abuse alcohol give birth to weak-minded, sick, and even deformed children.

Love is strengthened by tolerance for the shortcomings of past upbringing, the desire not to cool feelings, but to warm them up with attention, tenderness, and the desire to do good to the beloved. Years will pass, lovers will discover the necessary moral qualities in themselves. Character flaws will disappear, erroneous judgments under the influence of a reasonable partner will definitely experience positive changes. Moral fusion will fully occur only when both work for the sake of the family and the whole society. The family world, fenced off from the external environment, will sooner or later break down.

Sociological surveys of young married couples lead to the conclusion that moral self-education improves the culture of family life. Let's give an example. The young man overslept, is in a hurry to go to work, and has not yet put himself in order. And the wife seeks immediate expressions of affection from her beloved, hugs, kisses. This gives rise to negative emotions and irritability associated with the fear of being late for work.

Attention and tenderness in intimate life immediately after lovemaking are of great importance. Nothing offends a woman more than her husband showing even a moment’s indifference to her affection. For various reasons, failures in sexual intercourse can occur. But they should not be a topic of conversation or reproach. This is deeply affecting. A tactful, loving woman will certainly eliminate the cause of her husband’s failure with her behavior and psychologically prepare him for a feeling of self-confidence. Sexual failures pass without a trace, and harmony in sexual relationships occurs. It is held together by sincerity, loyalty, and devotion.

Preventing Conception

The living conditions of the spouses are multifaceted and varied. There are times when it is temporarily impossible to have a child. Sometimes spouses want to finish their studies first and settle in a new place; they often have to give up a second child until the first-born grows up, and sometimes the birth of a child has to be postponed until one of the spouses recovers. There are many means to prevent conception, which, if used correctly, may not be beneficial for the body at all. But before choosing a contraceptive, be sure to consult your doctor.

The fact is that depending on the condition of the woman’s genital organs, the presence of inflammatory processes in them, and the position of the uterus, appropriate contraceptives are prescribed. It is unacceptable to use such means as lubricating the cervix and its cavity with iodine to prevent pregnancy. Such lubricants lead to inflammation of the uterus and general poisoning of the woman’s body with iodine. The simplest method of protection is physiological. Conception can only occur within a few days of the menstrual cycle. Fertilization will occur only when sperm meets a mature egg.

Remembering that sperm retain the ability to fertilize in a woman’s genitals for more than 2 days, and the egg dies after ovulation on the 3-4th day, it becomes clear that conception is possible later on the 6th day after ovulation. So, if sexual intercourse occurred earlier than 2-3 days before ovulation (sperm viability time) or 6 days after it, then conception will not occur. It is more difficult to accurately determine the onset of ovulation. To do this, you can use a daily recording of body temperature. On the first day of ovulation, a woman’s body temperature usually rises by 0.5-0.8 degrees. This increase in temperature lasts until menstruation. If a woman begins menstruation after a certain number of days and the temperature rise also occurs on a certain day, then the confidence in accurately determining the onset of ovulation is almost beyond doubt. It is more difficult if menstruation occurs at different intervals. Then it is almost impossible to use this method. -

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First wedding night

Much has been written about the subject of this chapter, but most of the time the emphasis has been on the sensory side of the issues. Even when the author is truly sincere in his desire to illuminate a given issue, the description is often superficial due to the fact that he neglects necessary details and places too much emphasis on the theme of “be gentle, be understanding.” It would be interesting to see a man, even if he were a barbarian in all respects, who would not, at least on his wedding night, show tender feelings for his wife.

His subsequent actions can be characterized as ignorance and lack of self-control, but never as a desire to be rude. If the husband shows complete sexual ignorance of how to behave in sensitive cases and does not have sufficient self-control, then from the point of view of women - this will pass, awakening will come and tenderness will come later.

It is possible that much of the negligence concerning a man on his wedding night and honeymoon is due to the attitude of nature itself, which does not consider this procedure a particularly delicate or difficult matter.

To a certain extent this is a sound philosophy. Of course, sexual intercourse, which is a completely normal function, has been performed easily and successfully by both savages and civilized people without any concern for the consequences. It should therefore be a very simple process that does not require special knowledge.

From the point of view of many, the pain of first intercourse is similar to the pain of childbirth and is something that a woman must come to terms with.

However, when it comes to the pain of labor, nature has taken steps to automatically release the baby, and in addition, in most parts of the globe, this process is assisted by a midwife.

In our highly civilized society, even a police officer performs the function of a midwife tolerably well in necessary cases.

Nowadays, no civilized man will allow his wife to give birth to a child without the qualified assistance of a doctor. Undoubtedly, what in some cases is good for the savage and for modern man, in other cases is acceptable only for savages.

It is known that during the first sexual intercourse, women can experience bleeding with a fatal outcome, although, of course, such cases are extremely rare. Considering even this unlikely possibility, it seems strange that such a situation is too often perceived as something that a man does not need to be aware of, at least in part.

Of course, every man who has experience with a woman with a hymen manages to endure this ordeal, while the unprepared often stumbles. To be sure, nature has done everything possible, more or less successfully, to prevent physical, but not psychological, injury. And here, as everywhere in life, a scientific approach is needed. Let's analyze it.

Behavior on the wedding night may vary according to the prevailing conditions. There is no particular method that can be laid down as a universal law, and it is natural that the discussion of the problem depends entirely on the physical condition of the bride: whether she is a virgin or has had marital or premarital experience. In the last two cases, the woman faces physical difficulties.

Of course, there are certain basics that do not change regardless of whether it is the first night or the next: of these, self-control and leisurely preparatory love play are the most important. However, taking into account the specifics of the problem of virgins, which interests us here in the first place, changing circumstances constantly arise that determine the behavior of a man.

Let's look at the ancient concept of the hymen and how it relates to various assumptions about what constitutes virginity.

According to existing concepts, a girl should be pure and immaculate until her wedding night, and for most men, the measure of virginity and chastity is the preservation of the hymen until the first wedding night.

It must be said that even the feeling of the presence or absence of a hymen is often deceptive. In many cases, a man with shallow insertion of the penis can stretch the hymen, but not tear it. In addition, many girls often allow their partner all forms of intimacy possible during sexual intercourse, while demanding only one thing from their partner: not to break the hymen.

The man gets an orgasm and so does his partner. To do this, it is enough to move the penis along the external genital organs, irritating the clitoris. In general, this is a common option in cases. when a woman with low (small) excitability does not experience arousal when the vagina is irritated, but quickly becomes aroused when the clitoris is stimulated by the male genital organ. Moreover, such stimulation is even preferable to stimulation of the clitoris with a finger. Naturally, during such intercourse, the woman keeps her hymen intact, but she can hardly be called chaste.

On the other hand, does the absence of a hymen mean that the girl had an affair before marriage? Nothing more than her presence proves virginity. There is no need to look for the reasons for this phenomenon. The hymen can be accidentally destroyed in childhood or adolescence for various reasons, and the girl may not have the slightest idea about it. And yet, she may be just as virgin as her peer, whose hymen remains intact.

What if the hymen is destroyed not by accident, but as a result of premarital relations? This largely depends on the structure of the female genital organs, on how much an actress a woman can be, and on the degree of gullibility of a man. If her vaginal canal (passage) is small, if he can plausibly lie and feign pain, then she can convince and completely mislead her husband, especially since he wants to believe in her virginity.

Thus, the absence of a hymen does not prove that a girl is not chaste, and conversely, the presence of a hymen does not prove her chastity.

A man must accept a woman on faith and only on faith, just as a woman accepts a man. If he is not tolerant enough for this, then he can remain single. In this case, it will be better for both and especially for the woman, since otherwise her life will be continuous torment. There is no definite law that determines the future moral behavior of anyone's wife. We must rely on the assessment we give of her as a person. The fact that she retained her virginity until her wedding night is not in itself a guarantee that she will not slip in a few years. But it is also a fact that if a woman was indifferent to conventions in the years of life preceding marriage, then she will not be able to become a faithful and tender friend. Preserving a girl's innocence depends on many factors - less on self-control, and to a large extent on circumstances.

Supposing, however, that the groom is delighted to discover that his bride is a virgin, he must be very careful and gentle with her if she is not prepared for the upcoming test. If she knows what awaits her, then they must act carefully together. It is very good if a woman understands that rupture of the hymen does not necessarily have to be accompanied by excruciating pain. Normally, this happens calmly and relief immediately follows the pain. Tears and fear are completely useless here.

In fact, many women experience no pain at all. However, there are sometimes conditions under which a man must be very careful and careful in his behavior.

The hymen varies in its strength, and if it is not possible to break it immediately, then it is necessary to gradually stretch it and not complete the process on the first wedding night, if possible trying to complete the entire process painlessly. The bride should be sufficiently prepared for the upcoming marriage. She should have a Wasserman reaction, she should undergo a thorough medical examination, she should know her proportions and ask a doctor for advice. Then it would be good for her to discuss her physical features with her future husband. This is perhaps the most important thing that a groom should always keep in mind. All initiative and control should be in his hands. The bride can only soften the difficulties of the situation. But even here, the husband must constantly remind her of this and help.

Before attempting sexual intercourse, the husband should become familiar with his wife's genital area. He should pay attention to the structure of the vagina and hymen, so that the direction and pressure of the penis is chosen correctly. Depending on height and size, it may be necessary for the woman to place a pillow under her buttocks in order to rise higher, or sharply bend her knees, or even wrap her legs around the man’s waist. Only a few provisions are mentioned here. All these specific features that a man should study and which should be mentioned during a medical examination are very helpful. The correct angle of insertion of the penis into the vagina does not necessarily have to be maintained during subsequent sexual intercourse, when the husband and wife are accustomed and adapted to each other, since the male penis can be pressed by the walls of the vagina and take the desired direction.

However, during the first sexual intercourse, when the hymen is ruptured, the direction of the penis and vagina must coincide, and for this it is necessary to become familiar with the structure of the woman’s vagina. It is possible that 9 out of 10 men, before or after marriage, can draw a simple sketch of a section of the female genital organs, including the uterus, external genitalia, clitoris, urethra, inner lips, vaginal muscles, hymen, vagina and cervix. There are just eight main parts, seven of which are very important to know and ignoring them means greatly damaging your enjoyment.

On the wedding night, instead of directing all efforts to destroy the hymen at any cost, the husband should compare the above diagram so that the bride does not consider this examination a manifestation of purely physical lust, so that she does not suspect that her husband is an alien any conventions in your habits. If all this does not happen, then in the future the absence of such relationships can only lead to false modesty. Studying this drawing, even if it does not give anything more, will prevent the blind (young) groom from the monotonous actions of bombarding the cervix during subsequent sexual intercourse. When the hymen breaks, bleeding usually occurs. The bleeding proves that everything went well and stops some time later.

Naturally, one such act is quite enough for the first wedding night, and a caring husband will always understand this. He can be sure that his wife will not oppose his activity and he should not be misled if she says that she wants to continue the activity. She may say this if she feels that losing her virginity has prevented her from satisfying his passion. She understands that this is a very unpleasant sensation and may feel guilty.

In reality, the situation is this: she is very tense and worried, and, of course, there is a good reason for this. She expects pain and other unpleasant sensations, and her nerves are as tense as those of a patient in the dentist's chair.

Further, without a doubt, both a man and a woman can give each other much greater sexual pleasure if they are completely rested and feel well. This especially applies to women. Under no circumstances should a woman be forced to continue the act.

The above is like an introduction to the world of sex. A truly loving man with an absolute understanding of the matter and with the ability to control his feelings on this special night, as well as on subsequent ones, will devote himself exclusively to ridding the woman of the internal first tension, and will not think about himself.

If bleeding continues during subsequent attempts at sexual intercourse, the man should restrain his emotions until the bleeding stops completely.

Even ordinary feeling suggests that if there is bleeding, severe local destruction is possible. It is unlikely that any man would rub an open wound on his own body, much less should he be careful in relation to his wife.

During sexual intercourse after the bleeding has stopped, the man must insert the penis into the vagina gradually and carefully. Only a completely indifferent man can fail to fulfill these requirements and thereby cause pain to the woman. A man should not attempt to insert his penis more than an inch into the vagina until the depth and width of the vagina have been established.

A woman’s genitals may be designed in such a way that the penis will be very tightly grasped during insertion, and the vagina itself may be short.

It is amazing how the length and depth of the vagina can vary from woman to woman, and how differently they experience the pleasure of sexual intercourse from a purely physical point of view. The man should take these measurements by inserting a well-lubricated finger into the vagina up to the vaginal arch. This will give him the opportunity to determine the approximate size.

Returning to the question of insertion of the penis, it must be said that when inserting the penis, the man must remove the penis from the vagina immediately at the first sign of the woman's suffering, and then he must repeat this procedure several times until he can prevent the blind (young) groom during subsequent sexual intercourse from monotonous actions of bombardment of the cervix. When the hymen breaks, bleeding usually occurs. The bleeding proves that everything went well and stops some time later.

A man of this type is rude by nature, and like all rude people he quickly realizes his physical superiority. If a woman once submits to his rude desires and indifferent attitude towards her, then from that moment she will simply become part of the sexual apparatus, completely subordinate to his rude inclinations. If she does not assess the situation accurately and immediately, then her future with such a husband can be easily predicted.

If similar situations on the wedding night and their consequences were described, a thoughtful man could immediately understand how easy it is to make a mistake. This problem must be seriously studied and put into practice.

In fact, the wedding night should not be considered as a night suitable for the full enjoyment of sexual intercourse.

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First wedding night with my sister in Rome Incest Author: Turin Turambar In the evening, my sister and I decided to find a hotel - we wandered around Rome on foot all day, sightseeing. I didn’t have to search for long - having gone into the first five-star hotel that caught my eye, I went

I would like to remind you that the first wedding night is a very serious event. You shouldn’t take this lightly - they say, it will pass as it passes. Start careful preparation long before the wedding: choose underwear and bed linen, think about the condition of your skin, how to create an environment in such a way that, first of all, you are confident! Discuss your wedding night with your partner, dream, make plans - this brings you closer and eliminates embarrassment in the future.

The first wedding night should take place in especially cozy, calm and comfortable conditions. This is necessary so that a woman can feel calm, confident, and be able to easily focus on her partner’s actions. Among the special conditions we can list - complete privacy not only in the room, but also in the apartment (hotel) with shower and toilet, preferably separate. There must be a wide, comfortable bed, preferably not too easily soiled (colored, with a patterned design).

The lucky ones are those newlyweds who, after the wedding, can go to their own apartment, where no one will disturb them. It will be worse for those who plan to live with their parents. In this case, for the first wedding night, the bride and groom will either have to rent a hotel room or move the entire family to other relatives for a day or two.

But no matter where you have to spend your first wedding night, some attributes will certainly come in handy:

1. Bed linen
Pink or bright scarlet silk is a very chic option. But silk is a very slippery material, so for this case, choose bedding from another material that is pleasant to the body. Cotton or linen bedding works well. Sheets and pillows can be lightly scented with essential oils or your favorite perfume.

2. Romantic music
If you are a lover of pop culture or, conversely, a connoisseur of rock music, it is better to save your preferences for another occasion. And on your wedding night, classical instrumental music will help you create a pleasant atmosphere. Do not play music loudly, because it is just a background and should not distract you from each other.

3. Drinks
Don't forget to take a couple of bottles of champagne with you from the banquet, or better yet, bring them to your apartment in advance. You can take wine instead of champagne, but it’s better to avoid stronger drinks, otherwise all the romance will quickly disappear.

4. Something to eat
You’ll somehow manage without borscht and grandma’s cutlets on your wedding night. But light sandwiches, fruits, sweets and even a couple of salads will be very useful to you. The night is long, maybe my appetite will still wake up. And most likely, he will wake up quite quickly, since excitement, guests and toastmasters rarely give young people the opportunity to eat normally during the day.

5. Candles
What would a romantic setting be without candles? Subdued light, flickering shadows...

6. Flowers and balls
The groom can take on the decoration of your bedroom, or entrust it to friends. Everything will come in handy here - balloons, romantic inscriptions and painted hearts on the mirror, posters, streamers. Don't forget to put flowers in vases. Although you don’t have to do this in advance - you will be given a lot of flowers at the wedding, just don’t forget to take them with you from the banquet.

7. The magic of smells
Smells can control our subconscious and influence erotic desire. You can use aroma sticks and aroma lamps with jasmine, rose or lavender oils to complement the atmosphere of your wedding night.

8. Sexy lingerie
Seductive underwear, stockings, a garter, a lace negligee - you need to arm yourself with all this before your wedding night. If, as brides often do, you wear flesh-colored lingerie under your wedding dress, then you can prepare a second, more elegant set for the evening.

If you are planning to spend your wedding night in a hotel, then everything is much simpler in terms of organization and more luxurious in scope. You don't have to worry about drinks and food, bed linen and other little things. Another advantage may be the presence of a swimming pool or jacuzzi in the hotel.

It is very important that this night becomes a truly magical and unforgettable night of love. Be attentive and gentle to each other, try to make it full of tenderness and romance.

When all the festivities are over, the guests have had fun and go home, the time comes when the newly made husband and wife can be alone. Although no one will know or see how you will spend this time, making it unforgettable is no less important than having a chic wedding or choosing a dress. This moment also requires some preparation, expense and imagination.

Wedding night after the wedding: where to spend it

Every bride wants to spend the night after the wedding in a beautiful romantic place. The right location is 80% success. Therefore, approach this issue responsibly. Discuss and examine several options at once, perhaps you both will come to the same decision.

Your home. Many newlyweds start living together long before the wedding, so they spend their wedding night at home. This has its advantages: everything is familiar, familiar, familiar, nothing will confuse or interfere. And it’s not at all necessary to deprive yourself of romance. You can decorate your bedroom at home: choose luxurious bed linen, arrange flowers, candles, wine.
Parents' house. Not the best, but sometimes a necessary option. When funds do not allow you to rent a hotel room, but you don’t have your own apartment. In this case, it is, of course, better to rent housing, especially since you do not plan to live with your parents. But if there is nowhere to go, you will have to get out, especially if the parents do not go anywhere during this time. But most likely, they will understand the situation and spend the night with friends or relatives. The room allocated to you can also be decorated.

Country house. A good option for the summer, especially if there is a shower or bathhouse where you can wash. But even if such amenities are not available, it’s okay. You can collect water in advance, make a mini pool or something like that. Finally, you can have a picnic. There is nothing more romantic than clean air, nature and the absence of neighbors. Keep mosquito repellent on hand just in case.

Hotel. Not the cheapest, but the most romantic option. Of course, you will not be allowed there to decorate everything, but you can order room decoration, champagne and other luxuries. New furnishings, beautiful decoration and the presence of maids who are responsible for cleaning themselves will delight any bride.

First wedding night: what to do

It seems that the question itself is unnecessary, and the answer to it has been known to everyone for a long time. We'll talk about what you need to do on your wedding night to make it memorable for a long time, and what you shouldn't do.

First, don't forget about preparation. During the celebration, it is highly recommended not to overeat and overdo it with alcohol. This rule has been known for a long time. In Rus', young people were specifically forbidden to drink during a feast. Only one mug of mead was allowed. And our ancestors knew what they were doing. You can drink properly during the holidays by setting aside a special weekend for this.

Secondly, don't overwork yourself on the eve of the wedding. Give some power to friends or parents. If you come to the wedding itself tired, what can we say about a good mood and the wedding night in general.

Feel free to ask your parents to spend the night with friends if you live together and they themselves are not aware of the awkwardness of the situation. This is possible because in their time it was very common to spend the night after a wedding in the same house with a hundred guests sleeping on the floor. You have every right to be alone and hope for understanding from the older generation. Take care in advance of everything that may be useful to you: beautiful linen, for example, a bottle of wine, beautiful glasses.

Any advice on how to behave on your wedding night is inappropriate. Especially if people already lived together. Nobody knows you better than yourself. You can discuss some nuances in advance or arrange an interesting surprise for your other half. But I want to clarify about the latter - it’s better to be sure that the other half will appreciate the surprise.

For those who did not follow all the above recommendations and found themselves after the wedding with red eyes from lack of sleep and a headache from alcohol, we can only advise one thing - go to bed. The morning is wiser than the evening. It's better to have a romantic night at another time during your honeymoon than to go overboard after the wedding.

Beautiful wedding night after the wedding: decorating the bedroom

Despite the abundance of worries and lack of time, few brides would agree to entrust bedroom decoration to strangers. This is a very important moment, so everything should be exactly to the taste of the bride and groom.

The most common decoration is fresh flowers. Choose your favorites, but make sure you're both not allergic to them. For this reason, you should not buy exotic flowers or strong-smelling lilies. You can arrange flowers in vases or hang various compositions on the walls, but so that you don’t drop anything and hurt yourself. You can traditionally shower your bed with rose petals if you love the smell of them.

Paintings and figurines will also come in handy if they support a love theme. You shouldn’t overdo it, just make the room more unusual and beautiful than always. Paintings depicting flowers, angels, and doves are suitable for this. You can even hang up a photo of yourself from a romantic photo shoot.
Balloons will appeal to many people. If you are not afraid that the balloons will suddenly burst and scare you, you can make very beautiful compositions and place them around the bed.
Lighting also plays a big role. The light should be dim and romantic. To do this, it is recommended to purchase a night light or candles. Choose only thick, large candles in special candlesticks. They burn for a long time and do not stain furniture.
When choosing bedding, choose soft or white colors. Loud, dark or too slippery sheets can only get in the way. Bright colors are too irritating, and dark ones create an aura of gloom, especially with candles.
Romantic music can also decorate the evening. Choose the most romantic melodies that will please both of you.

Sometimes fruits and sweets come in very handy. For example, if you weren't able to eat at a wedding, you'll want to grab a snack.

Wedding night in Russia: customs and traditions

You already know how to spend your wedding night, but how did our ancestors spend it before?

In ancient times, preparation for the first wedding night was a real ritual, a complex and special action. It was believed that it was on this night that the foundation of future family life was laid, the girl became a woman and a wife.

Usually, after the wedding, the newlyweds went to spend the night with the groom's parents. Back then, not everyone could boast of their own hut. The room must be cool, and what the young people’s bed was like is a completely different story. At first, sacks of flour and rye were placed on the wooden flooring so that the family would be rich. Mattresses and pillows were placed on top, and everything was covered with a white sheet embroidered with a pattern along the edge. A poker, frying pan or logs could be placed under the bed. All this had a certain meaning and was supposed to bring happiness and healthy children to the young family.

After the end of the celebration, the newlyweds were seen off in a crowd. Boyfriends and girlfriends walked ahead. The friend entered the hut first. He paid a ransom to the women who guarded the bed, then beat the marriage bed with a whip and thus drove away evil spirits.

The young people were left alone with the door locked. At the same time, a person remained near the door to protect the spouses from intoxicated guests.

Even when alone with each other, husband and wife must observe a number of traditions. So, for example, the two of them ate chicken and bread so that they could have a rich life with many children. In Rus', it was customary for a wife to submit to her husband. This was very important, so as a sign of her submission, the bride took off the groom’s boots, and then asked him for permission to go to bed.

Traditions of the first wedding night in other countries

It would seem that everyone knows what a wedding night is, how it goes and when it begins. But in some countries there are very interesting customs that can change your idea of a wedding night in general. We will consider only the most unusual foreign traditions. Some of these you can use if you find them suitable, while others will simply serve as great talking points at a bachelorette party.

Perhaps the most unusual and famous tradition existed in Medieval Europe, when the bride had to spend the night not with her legal spouse, but with her overlord. Some associate this with sacrifice, and others with the desire of those in power to leave more of their offspring.
In some African tribes, the husband knocked out his wife's two front teeth after the wedding. This is what is considered a sign of a mature married woman, which distinguished her from single girls.
In Scotland, for some time it was customary to do everything possible to prevent the newlyweds from taking place on their wedding night. The guests made as much noise as they could, disturbed, rattled and distracted the bride and groom. They could be alone only when all the guests were tired and fell asleep.
In China, the location of the night plays a special role. Everything should be as beautiful as possible; candles in the form of red and black dragons are placed near the bed.
In other African tribes, husband and wife get into a fight the night after their wedding. And so every night for a week. Until dawn they are supposed to beat each other as hard as they can. This is explained by the fact that during this week they must throw out all their anger, and live the rest of their lives in peace and harmony.
There is something similar in Macedonia. There, the newlyweds were locked in the basement at night, and their hat and boots were left in the corner. Husband and wife would start fighting over these things to prove who was boss in the house. In the morning they were released, and it became clear who was the boss in this family.
There is a wonderful and incredible tradition in Japan. There are many small islands, so young people can retire to one of them. First they feed each other, then they give gifts. A wife is a beautiful sword for a husband as a protector and warrior, and a husband is a fabric for his wife, which he cuts with this sword. The larger piece is then used to make a dress for the wife, and the smaller piece is used to make an outfit for the first-born.

First wedding night: signs

To believe in omens or not is a personal matter for everyone. Some do not pay any attention to these signs, while others, thinking about how to prepare for their wedding night, try to study all possible superstitions.

Previously, in Rus', brides before going to bed took off all their jewelry, because the omen promised: if you lose an earring, you will lose your husband. The marriage bed must be sprinkled with holy water to protect it from evil spirits. No one should sit on the bed, so as not to take away the happiness of the young.

In the old days, it was customary to sing obscene ditties when seeing off young people. Now this sign has already become obsolete. The more discreetly and tactfully you leave the wedding, the better.

After the wedding, the bride must change her clothes completely in order to remove her clothes, which could remain under the evil eye or the envy of her friends. In Rus', for this purpose, a shirt was sewn, on which various amulets were embroidered. Dressing for the night should be included in the list of how to prepare for your wedding night. It is advisable that the shirt be new.

Only the bride's bouquet can be left in the newlyweds' bedroom if the groom chose it himself and the bride did not throw it into the crowd. Some girls buy two bouquets and throw away the one that was put aside in advance. They say that the longer the bouquet stays in the bedroom, the longer and happier the family’s life will be.

To keep your offspring healthy and strong, take a piece of chicken from the wedding table and place it under the bed. The pillows on the bed should lie with slits facing each other. This will bring harmony to family life.

The finale of any wedding celebration is the wedding night. Nowadays, the first night of newlyweds has become a convention that has no value. It is now considered the norm for newlyweds to have sex long before the wedding.

But once upon a time the first wedding night was accompanied by a whole ritual, different for each nation. We invite you to take a look at the pages of history and remember the customs of the first wedding night.

HOW THE FIRST WEDDING NIGHT WENT IN EUROPE

In the Middle Ages in European countries there was a tradition according to which the bride had to spend the night not with her husband, but with the feudal lord. Historians give different arguments regarding the emergence of such a custom. Some argued that deflowering was a dangerous procedure, subject only to the deities, and the feudal lord took full responsibility for what was happening and protected the spouses from the wrath of the gods.

Others complained about satisfying their sexual needs and the desire to be above everyone else, because the feudal lord could easily refuse ugly brides, but with beautiful girls this rule was always followed. True, at the end of the 16th century, such a custom was abandoned in Switzerland, and in Germany it was replaced by ransom.

SEX ON THE WEDDING NIGHT IN AFRICA

In some African tribes, it was customary to knock out a girl’s two front teeth on her wedding night. This symbolized marriage - something like a wedding ring. Married women were not ashamed of their toothless smile and showed it to everyone, while unmarried women covered their mouths.

In Samoa, the first wedding night had to take place in the circle of sleeping relatives of the bride. Only newlyweds should make love silently so that no one wakes up. Otherwise, the man would face a serious beating from his relatives. That is why many Samoan men lubricate their bodies with oil before their wedding night: this makes it easier to break out and the beatings are not so painful.

Sex on the wedding night in North Africa involved the bride taking turns copulating with the wedding guests. Each guest had to give the bride a special gift.

There were tribes in which it was customary to deflower girls at a very young age - before the onset of menstruation. This had to be done by a complete stranger. Most often it was a traveler passing through the village. If a girl remained a virgin during the onset of her period, it was considered a real disgrace; she might never get married.

In the Bakhtu tribe, which is located in Central Africa, instead of sex on their wedding night, newlyweds had to fight until dawn, and then go to their parents' houses and sleep. It’s a strange custom, of course, but every nation has its own cockroaches in their heads. The next night, the newlyweds fought again. And this continued until they took out all their hatred on each other for years to come. Sometimes such battles ended in death.

Some African peoples had a tradition of performing the act of defloration using special tools. This mini-operation was performed by the oldest women.

Sometimes this procedure was replaced by a natural one, but it was not the husband who had to deflower the girl, but the father or elder brother of the groom, as well as a priest or elder.

In the Arunto tribe, the friends of the future husband were supposed to deflower a girl. The man chose two or three friends, they kidnapped the bride and each of them had sex with her. When a girl loses her virginity, anyone could come to her house until the wedding and have sex with her in order to test the new woman.

HOW DOES THE FIRST WEDDING NIGHT HAPPEN WITH MUSLIMS?

The first wedding night among Muslims has remained virtually unchanged since ancient times. Most Muslims still have the custom of showing the groom's relatives the sheet on which the newlyweds had sex. Blood stains testified to the bride’s innocence; if they were not there, the girl was considered vicious, it was a shame for the whole family. Currently, this rule is observed only in some regions.

Before the first wedding night, Muslims must observe a number of customs:

The first wedding night among Muslims takes place only after the bride has transported all the necessary things to her husband's house. They start collecting a dowry for a girl from an early age; she should have at least 40 blankets and pillows. Bedding must be decorated and sewn by hand (some accessories are not prohibited from being purchased)
Before starting intimacy, a man should put his hand on his wife’s head, praise her, say a few kind words and end his speech with the phrase “In the name of Allah.” Then, the newlyweds read two ritual prayers, after which the man reads another prayer, in which he asks Allah to bless them for their life together and, in case of divorce, to help them maintain friendly relations.
A man must present his wife with a lot of sweets and delicious drinks. Honey and milk were considered obligatory products on the table. The husband should be soft and gentle when communicating with his wife, win her over, and talk. Indecent intimate relations are prohibited by the Koran. A woman should not push away a man, because this could lead to dire consequences. Also, the newly-made wife should not be indifferent and cold.
In the morning, after the first wedding night, the spouses perform a ritual of ablution and begin to eat. Often they set the table and invite relatives.

HOW THE FIRST WEDDING NIGHT IS SPENT FOR CHECHENS

For Chechens, their first wedding night takes place on the third day of the wedding. To perform the ritual, the man put on a special suit, which was previously presented to him by the bride’s relatives. At this time, the woman should be ready in the bedroom, where her married friends bring her.

Before intimacy, a man must open the Koran and pray to Allah, then close the book with thick canvas and begin to deflower his wife. If the spouses did not know each other before the wedding, sexual intercourse is not a requirement on the wedding night; they must first become acquainted.

There should be no one, not even animals, in the room where the newlyweds sleep.

THE FIRST WEDDING NIGHT OF MUSLIMS IN DAGESTAN

Dagestanis celebrate their first wedding night in a special way: they turn it into a martial arts ritual. A man will be worthy of a woman only if he wins. The bride has been prepared for a fight since childhood, and on her first wedding night they shaved her head, lubricated exposed skin with fat, put on clothes with many knots, and tied the overalls with a cord that was supposed to preserve virginity.

No one was allowed to enter the room where the battle took place; one could only eavesdrop and spy. According to ancient customs, the guy was obliged to defeat the girl and the fight continued until victory.

If the battle went on for too long, the bride was persuaded to give up, they deliberately did not allow her to drink or eat, but they did everything for the groom.

The faster a man unties all the knots in his overalls, the faster he can take possession of his wife. The battle took place without weapons, and inflicting bodily harm was not forbidden.

HOW IS THE FIRST WEDDING NIGHT OF GYPSIES?

The Gypsies, of course, are not the cleanest nation, but they have observed their traditions from time immemorial. The first wedding night among the gypsies is called the “Bringing out of Honor” and is considered the most important rite of passage at the wedding. The bride must remain virgin until the wedding, otherwise she will disgrace her family. The newlyweds, along with three respected ladies from both families, go to a separate room where the bride's virginity is checked.

The newlyweds have sex without witnesses, but the groom is obliged to take out a veil with traces of virgin blood.

According to another version, three ladies deflower a girl using a sheet wrapped around her finger so that the newlyweds cannot falsify the bride's virginity. There is another version of the first wedding night among gypsies - the bride and groom must have their first sexual intercourse on the banquet table in the presence of guests. When the girl's innocence is proven, the ladies put the sheet with the marks on a tray, shower it with red ribbons and take it out to the guests. Red ribbons are distributed to the groom's relatives for a fee. After the ceremony, the bride is dressed in a red dress, her hair is braided and the veil is removed.

FIRST WEDDING NIGHT IN Rus'

During the times of Ancient Rus', premarital relations were not forbidden - it was a widespread phenomenon. Some young people managed to live with each other and get married, and sometimes had children. In some settlements, a “trial marriage” was common, in our opinion it was a civil marriage. The young people lived together, shared a household, gave birth to their first child, and only then could they get married if they didn’t change their minds.

Some traditions of Rus' were similar to barbarian ones. At the wedding, each man could touch and grope the bride as it should have happened during the wedding night. The bride could even be stripped down to her undershirt at the wedding to show off all the juice. When the wedding came to an end, the newlyweds retired to a separate room, and the guests eavesdropped and peeked under the door so that the newlyweds were busy with each other and not with sleep.

The sex had to continue until the morning, which was facilitated by the guests - they shouted ditties with sexual overtones and in every possible way spurred the young people on. In the morning, the bride and groom provided evidence of deprivation of virginity. If the groom did not succeed, he could repeat the attempt two more times; if even then he failed in his duty, the groom was replaced by a more experienced man. In some villages, it was customary to spend the first wedding night with the groom's older brothers, who came to the aid of the inexperienced groom in case of emergency.

As we see, the wedding night in many countries involved deflowering a girl, if the girl was vicious before the wedding, her family was disgraced, and the careless bride could be returned to her parents. True, now any gynecologist will say that during the first sexual intercourse there may not be any blood, just like there may be no pain, since everyone’s hymen is different.

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