If he doesn't want to get married. Trap for a single woman: What threatens a civil marriage, and why a man doesn’t want to get married

Mutual love, common interests, complete harmony and everything seems to be good, but there is one “but” in the relationship - the guy does not want to get married. Modern morals are such that a situation where a young man does not propose marriage, but a couple meets or even lives together, is absolutely normal. However, almost all girls I want to create a full-fledged family and give birth to a child. Let's figure out why a man postpones the wedding, how to understand his intentions, and what a woman should do.

Men are very creative and can use various excuses to avoid getting married. Sometimes a hint of a wedding from a girl is perceived by them as an encroachment on precious freedom. Nevertheless, men still get married. Why are they doing that?

Why do men get married and why do women want to get married?

To understand why a man doesn’t want to get married, let’s answer the question why the stronger sex gets married at all. Of course, everyone has their own motivating factor. However, the most common causes can be deduced.

Most men marry reluctantly, but still agree to marriage

So why do men get married? Psychology says that the main reasons for getting married are:

1. Sex. Having a permanent partner is a common reason for men to get married.
2. Self-affirmation. The desire to assert oneself in the role of a leader is often motivating. However, a surprise awaits many men after the registry office - not all women meekly occupy a subordinate position.
3. Life. Household chores depress a man, so he finds an assistant who will do this for him.
4. Fear of loneliness. Marriage promises a man that there will always be someone to take care of him. He is afraid of losing the woman he loves, so he “claims his rights to her.”
5. “Because it’s necessary”. In this case, the man follows the lead of society. Marriages by chance can be included in this category.
6. By calculation. For some reason, a stereotype has developed that creating a family of convenience is more typical for women. Nevertheless, men are not averse to receiving money, social status, promotion, etc. as a dowry.

The situation when a man loves but does not want to get married is also quite common. In such cases, a family is created because the woman wanted it that way. Living in a so-called civil marriage, it does not matter to a young man what it is called. He will go to the registry office only if the girl insists on it.

Why a man doesn't want to get married

Of course, it also happens that a man wants a child, a family and cannot imagine life without his chosen one. Love marriages, fortunately, also happen.

Why do girls want to get married? Psychology speaks about the following reasons:

1. Love for a man and the desire to live with him all my life.
2. The desire to obtain the status of a wife.
3. Pressure from society.
4. The desire to have a child.
5. Good relations with the relatives of the future husband, counting on their help.
6. Receiving support and help in solving problems, the desire to have an ally.
7. The desire for financial well-being.
8. The desire to prove to the ex that “they have lost a lot.”

In the end a girl can just want home comfort, family holidays and traditions. But, alas, stories in the spirit of “we’ve been living together for 2 years, but he’s not asking us to get married” or “we’ve been dating for 2 years, he’s not asking us to get married, we’re not living together” are quite common. What signs indicate that a man is not planning to go to the registry office and why did he decide so? Let's try to figure it out.

Why do girls want to get married?

Why doesn't a man want to get married?

Modern reasons for abandoning marriage are very diverse. The first thing girls need to remember is that it doesn’t mean that a man doesn’t love you if he doesn’t ask you to marry you. Many guys are afraid that after a stamp appears in their passport relationships will change fundamentally, but this is not the only reason.

Cohabitation has become widespread, so marriage has become unnecessary for men

Now many people live together without getting married. The psychology of a man is such that he believes that it is not at all necessary to go to the registry office - after all, he already has everything what family life gives. Women are fundamentally not happy with this situation.

Reasons for a man's refusal to marry

There are several reasons for this state of affairs. Here are the most common:

1. Financial insolvency. Starting a family entails the responsibility to provide for it, and a bachelor is not always ready for this.
2. Love for freedom. “Marriage is voluntary slavery,” men believe and are in no hurry to put on shackles.
3. Parental disagreement. Parental prohibitions often conceal banal dislike for a potential daughter-in-law and suspicions of her prudence.
4. Fear. Starting a family entails responsibility for your wife and children. This prospect is frightening.
5. Negative experience. The man fears that the unfavorable experience of previous relationships will repeat again, so he is in no hurry to enter into a second marriage.
6. Greed. A common reason for wealthy men.

Young people believe that a stamp in a passport limits their freedom. While they live in a civil marriage, psychologically there is feeling of "escape routes". Even if he doesn’t plan to use them, having the choice to “leave or stay” is reassuring.

Cohabitation does not oblige you to anything - the man can leave

Let’s also not exclude a not entirely pleasant reason - he disappointed in the chosen one. While he was in love, the guy was interested, but over time he realized that this girl would never become his wife. Only he doesn’t have the courage to tell her about it.

Or perhaps everything is much simpler. It may well be that he is a naturally shy person and is afraid to propose for fear of being rejected.

A woman often does not understand what lies behind her chosen one’s reluctance to marry. She thinks something like this: “We’ve been dating for a year. We recently started living together. Love each other. What else does he need?

The woman does not understand why the man does not marry

How to make a man marry you?

You can lead almost any guy to marriage, if, of course, he has any feelings for the girl. First of all, no need to rush. Usually a man does not ask for marriage, because he needs to get used to this idea, because marriage is not an easy matter.

You have to be wise, prudent and not rush things

Quite often, a woman remains lonely because of incorrect behavior that repels a man. You won't be able to push a guy to get married if you:

• are overly demanding of their partner;
• picky;
• actively argue, obsessively trying to convince your opponent that your point of view is the only correct one;
• humiliate a man;
• You are not acting feminine.

What to do if you recognize yourself in this description? Urgently reconsider the line of conduct and character.

How to behave so that a man wants to get married? First of all need to calm down. It will not be possible to persuade a guy with hysterics, tears and screams.

Is it possible to remind yourself of marriage? You can give hints, but you shouldn’t constantly ask when he’s going to propose, just like he will and pester you with talk about the wedding. A man must accept this himself responsible and important decision. It will not be possible to persuade him by deception or other means.

There is no need to create scandals to push for a wedding

Remember that there is no universal phrase that any man can use. Each story is individual, and only you know how to bring the relationship to the wedding with your chosen one.

1. Create for a man comfortable conditions. Show concern for him, empathize and rejoice with him, share his interests.
2. Don't play the role of wife until you are. Even if you live together, keep your distance. For example, do not wash his things, do not do the cleaning without his participation, cook less often, etc. If a man receives everything from a woman before marriage, he does not have to marry.
3. Don't settle for cohabitation. If you want to test whether you can live together, then set a deadline for the marriage demo to end.
4. “Warm up” his excitement. Be late for dates, reschedule meetings, be mysterious and different. The main thing here is not to overdo it.
5. Meet his loved ones. Find an approach to everyone and create a favorable impression of yourself. Never speak ill of his acquaintances.
6. Stay interesting. Don't focus on relationships. Continue your education, build a career, develop.

A man wants to see not only a lover, but also a girlfriend, a loyal ally, and a partner nearby. It is important for him to feel a reliable shoulder nearby.

Become a man's friend

Don't put pressure on a man or try to force him. Be patient and take our advice into account.

Understanding the reason why a man is in no hurry to get married is sometimes difficult. Perhaps over time he will decide to take this serious step.

Men are by nature silent creatures (at least that’s how they position themselves). They don't like to go into long, lengthy explanations. They almost never write articles that would reveal to us the veil of secrets of their mysterious soul. Therefore, most often we have to figure everything out ourselves, guided by the same feminine logic. The only saving grace is that men are extremely simple in their behavior. Like hamsters.

So this is the thoughtful conclusion I came to during my personal practice and observing the lives of my friends. It's only our own fault that men don't want to marry us. Do you know how we discourage them from legal marriage? We make it so that they live too well outside of it!
Let's look at the most standard scheme for the development of any relationship. A man and a woman meet. The bouquet-candy period begins, which lasts a maximum of six months. Usually at this stage both move away from their friends and give up hobbies because they are too absorbed in each other. Gradually the euphoria dissipates. Ordinary quarrels begin, which quickly fade away. The man and woman are slowly returning to their interests. They make mutual friends. Some more time passes - say, a year - and they begin to think that it would be nice to continue living together. And they come together to a common living space... This is where the ambush begins.

Of course, this scheme is very conditional, and variations are possible in it. But in general, everything seems to be true, you must agree. And it seems reasonable and right to try to live together to understand how compatible you are in everyday life. Any sane person will say that even shared weekends and vacations together are a completely different matter. So what is the mistake here?

I remember one comic book well. A man and a woman are sitting in a restaurant on a date. And a variety of pictures flash through her head: she sees children, a house by the sea, a large car, a dog, a wedding, etc. Dozens of slides change at breakneck speed. And the man has only one thought that pulsates in his head throughout their meeting: “Sex. Sex. Sex".

All! And now the question is: what prevents them from receiving all of the above in a civil marriage?

Civil marriage is a trick invented by men in order to realize their rights and safely avoid responsibilities. Well, tell me: why would a man change anything in this situation? And the saddest thing is that we ourselves bring them all these benefits on a silver platter, without demanding anything in return.

Once I discussed with my friend - I must say, a very independent girl with a broad-minded view on the issue of gender - a relationship with her boyfriend. They had been dating for about 4 years—that is, they were dating. I asked if they were planning to move in together. To which she categorically replied: “Well, no! I'm not going to radically change my life just to cook in other people's pots and clean up someone else's apartment. If only I get married." At the time, I thought it was shocking. Now I understand that perhaps there is a large amount of common sense in this.

At the same time, I consider civil marriage a good topic and do not reject it at all. But how can you avoid becoming his hostage? There should be only 2 ways out of it: either you quarrel and run away, realizing that you are not made for each other, or you safely go to the registry office. With the first option, everything is very clear - there is no and there is no trial. But with the second it is more difficult. After all, each of us wants to be given a diamond ring under the most romantic circumstances with the words: “Make me the happiest person in the world - become my wife!” Just like they show in the movies! It’s somehow inappropriate to squeeze the throat of your loved one with an iron grip and hiss in his face: “Marry me, marry me immediately!” - this does not correspond to our concept of romance.

However, it will have to. Not so radical, of course, but you can’t do without dotting the t’s.

Let's start with the fact that if you are just going to live together, it is better to immediately explain to your loved one that you are not ready to drag out this stage of the relationship. Agree on how much time you both will commit to this marriage demo. Only this period should be reasonable. If a man claims that he needs at least 10 years to realize that he has found his only and beloved woman, run!

If you think that the pause has been prolonged, it is better not to suffer daily from a nervous itch and not tormented by the question “Why doesn’t he marry me?”, but ask it honestly. Of course, everything in this life is individual, but for me personally there is nothing worse than uncertainty.

So, you choose a moment when you are both in no hurry, healthy, enjoying your vacation, in short, as close to a family idyll as possible, and ask that very sacramental question: will we ever get married? You can formulate it however you like, but the main thing is that he must understand that you are serious and you won’t be able to avoid answering. And then watch his reaction.
Right answers:
- Great idea! How about September? We'll just have time to save up for the wedding.
- I didn't know it was important to you. But if so, let's get married. How do you see this event?
- In November I have a dissertation defense / quarterly planning / closing mortgage payments. Let's get back to this issue then, OK? (if new obstacles loom for him in November, it’s worth thinking about).

Incorrect answers:
- Darling, you make me happy every day! We are already married! Who needs these conventions?
- Here's another! I'm not going to spend crazy money, meet your relatives from Tyumen and participate in idiotic competitions just because of your quirks!
-Who the hell needs us?..

Believe me: if a man loves, he will marry. If he doesn't get married, you are just a waiting room for him, not a destination. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Listen to your heart and don't let yourself get lost in your own illusions.

The general conclusion: women are trying to demonstrate how good they are, and are ready to give men everything for free, and they will also give money on top. That's why men don't get married. Everything is there and just like that! Why change something if it works?

Women think that cohabitation is a demo version of the wife, and men just accept everything as it is. Although free cheese always guarantees that the mousetrap will soon slam shut, and most men suspect it. But nevertheless they shoot back to the last, as best they can.
Read the article to the end, and you will be prepared for any excuses.

By the way, if you have been together for a long time, he loves you, and may even promise to marry you, but never gets married - this article is for you with detailed instructions:
And now about excuses.

TOP men's excuses for getting married

Not ready.
The most popular excuse. How to cook it, is it really like borscht? Some women wait for years, then they can’t stand it and leave on their own, or the man still leaves on his own, and six months later he is already married to someone else. Surely each of you has similar examples around you.

Not ready - translated into human means: “I love you, but not so much as to go to the registry office.” And all the other excuses mean about the same thing. I will tell you what to do with this at the end of the article.

Everyone lives like this, we are not in the Stone Age, so that everything only happens after the wedding.
Yeah, everyone lives in scandals and divorces, nagging their husbands and cheating on each other, should we live like this now too?

The stamp doesn't mean anything.
So why not put this stamp? Can you imagine how easy it is to make me happier by giving just “nothing”!

Why should we get married, everything is fine with us?
I feel great with you, but I feel bad as a cohabitant. Since everything is really good with us, why don't we get married?

You don't need a person, but a stamp in your passport!
Without a stamp, it means you don’t need me, don’t you value me? The same thing if he, for example, said: “Do you need my loyalty or me? Without loyalty you don't need me? Love me, unfaithful, or drown me!” Do you need my care or me? My sex or me?

The same thing if a woman said: “Do you need my tenderness or me? My borscht or me? My beauty or me? So you can remove the entire skin, scale by scale, and there will be nothing left of the person.

Women need certainty and stability. Official registration just gives some guarantees and protection to the woman. It's not about the stamp or the wedding, but about the attitude. By registering a marriage, a man declares to the whole world that you are his woman, and no one has the right to claim you. He proves with his deeds that he has made the final choice and wants to spend the rest of his days with you and no one else.

In general, if he tells you so, in some cases you can think about it. Sometimes a woman is so obsessed with the idea of ​​marriage that she absolutely does not care what kind of person is next to her. Let's get married and figure it out, he will change - she naively believes. A similar situation is shown very clearly in the humorous video at the end of the article. They are unlikely to have a happy family...

First you need to earn money for an apartment and a car.
At first glance, this approach may seem responsible. But do you live with him somewhere? You don't need your own apartment for cohabitation, but do you need it for a wedding? It's time to leave, since we haven't earned enough money to start a family yet.

No money for a wedding.
Marriage registration at the time of writing costs 350 rubles; if desired, you can add a dress for the bride and a suit for the groom, but this is not necessary. If a man claims that he wants a wedding “like people have,” and you suspect that it’s not a wedding at all, but a reluctance, then you can say that you don’t need a wedding, the main thing for you is to be his wife, and not his cohabitant.

Is some kind of wedding really more important to him than the peace and happiness of the woman he loves? If this was a real reason (which is unlikely, because usually women dream of a wedding, but not men), then he will simply agree to sign.

Why do we need to notify the state that we are sleeping together?
Tell him that this is exactly what you want - to notify the state and the whole world that you are now sleeping only with each other and with no one else, because you are family, and for a reason.

A good deal will not be called marriage.
And we won’t call it marriage, let’s call it family!

I'm not worthy of you, you need another man.
And the woman begins to kill herself, proving to him that he underestimates himself and deserves a lot, including her. But in fact, this is a classic way of breaking up. Most likely, he wants to say: “We need to break up, our relationship is over for me a long time ago, I’ve decided everything.” But he doesn’t want to humiliate the woman by this, so he tries to give her a chance to leave on her own. The best reaction to this is: “Too bad, I didn’t think so. But since you decided so, then as you wish, dear,” and proudly walk off into the sunset.

First you get pregnant, then we get married.
I described in vivid colors the horrors of pregnancy without marriage registration.
Marriage is not just about children. People get married, thus proving to each other that from now on they enjoy life together and overcome difficulties, dividing everything in half. A man takes responsibility for a woman, thereby proving that he is worthy of her giving birth to a child for him, because he is able to take it all out. Giving birth to a child is not as easy as sneezing, so a man will first have to prove his readiness not only in words.

I made an offer and that was it.
Yielding to an impulse, or under pressure from a girl, a man can propose and give a ring. And even talk about wedding plans. But then everything calms down, and again the same oppressive uncertainty... To avoid this, in response to his proposal, say that you need time to think. And after a couple of days or hours or at least minutes, say: “I thought, you are the best man in the world, I want to be with you always, and I agree to marry you, shall we go to the registry office this week or next? What day is convenient for you?” Because promising does not mean getting married, and you risk another disappointment.
We will talk more about this in future articles. Therefore, subscribe to updates at your convenience: on VKontakte, or on Telegram, or, and don’t miss anything.

My parents are against it.
This means that you don’t even have anything to wait for, they are unlikely to change their mind. For him, the opinion of his parents is more important than you, he is still small. And what makes you think that over time he will stop looking back at them? If by some miracle you marry him, then important decisions in the family will also be made by the advice of your parents, and not by you, and their hatred of you is guaranteed. Are you really ready for this?

I've had my heart broken before, I don't want that again.
Why should you pay for other people's mistakes? He sees you as an enemy waiting to break his heart. You can prove that you are not a camel ad infinitum, but you hardly have that much time.

Tell him the following: “I tried very hard to make you feel good and forget this wound, so that you understand that I am not at all like her. It seems that I didn’t succeed and for you we are the same. I’m very sorry, but I’ll have to let you go and look for your happiness, the one who can help you forget about everything.” And go into the sunset. If he needs you, he will do anything to get you back. If not, then you would have wasted a lot more time, unsuccessfully trying to patch up the holes in his heart (which may not really exist, because this could be an empty excuse for you to fall behind).

Now is not the right time.
Mortgage, finish your studies, get a promotion, complete renovations in your apartment... This means it’s the right time to put the relationship on hold until these long-awaited events come.

The stamp will ruin everything.
Yes, this happens often. Assure him that things will be different for you, that you will do everything possible to ensure that you have a happy family until you are old. Draw him a picture of your ideal family happiness. And really take steps towards this (preferably throughout your life, and not just before marriage). But don't talk too much about it - everything has a limit, and if it's an empty excuse, you'll still be wasting your time.

I'm still too young, it's too early for me to start a family.
That is, it’s not too early to have an actual wife, but it’s too early to take responsibility for her? How long should we wait? Until you turn 55?

We'll get married if you...
And then there are his conditions. This is worth listening to. If he asks you to lose weight or gain weight, learn to cook, grow your hair, stop yelling at him, make friends with his child from a previous relationship, find your own inspiring business, and anything else that does not break you as a person, then you can and even need to meet him halfway .

Take this seriously, because for him this may not be an excuse, but a truly important circumstance. But if he asks to have plastic surgery that you don’t need, or to allow him to walk on the left, or even to add a girlfriend to your relationship, then things smell like frying. Do you need a wedding at this price? And don't expect him to change his mind.

I doubt my feelings for you.
Compared to other excuses, this is already an honest answer, practically a guide to action, that it is better for you to look for another man, because this one is not in love with you. There is a chance that after breaking up, he will feel the full power of love for you and will do everything to get you back. But if you are afraid of losing him, you don’t have to leave, he will graciously allow you to continue to serve him until your patience runs out or he meets his “true love.”

As you can see, almost all excuses indicate that he is not afraid of losing you and does not really love you. To some extent, he still loves him, otherwise he would have left long ago, but not much. It is not easy to realize this, but it is still necessary in order for there to be an opportunity to change something.

I was in such a situation myself, and I understand perfectly well how you feel.

Fortunately, I was able to understand all this correctly and marry this amazing man, but once absolutely not ready to marry me. Half of the excuses on this list were about us.

For those who want to take their relationship with a man to a new level of love and happiness, and finally marry him on HIS initiative, my husband and I created a free Quest for Happy Brides. We are hosting it on VKontakte. I developed the quest classes based on my experience of consulting and bringing women to results since 2014. It includes only the simplest and most effective things, follow the link and sign up for free!

Give yourself a time limit during which you will improve your relationship. For example 3 months. And do your best.

If a man, despite everything, does not marry and does not leave, help him make up his mind. Leave him, move out of your shared home, break all contacts. If he doesn't really need you, he'll breathe a sigh of relief. Then be glad that you didn’t push him into marriage, otherwise you would have had an unenviable life with an unloving person. But if he feels that he feels bad without you, he will be happy to win you over again and propose.

Dear women, value and respect yourself first of all, do not live endlessly with a person who does not really need you. But also respect him, don’t try to force him into marriage at all costs, he is an adult living person and knows better what he needs. A broken wedding will not bring happiness to anyone. You will be ashamed to look him in the eye, and he will treat you badly and take revenge for the fact that you put the pressure on him, and sooner or later he will run away, unless something radically changes in your relationship.

Here is an interview with one of the girls I helped get married through coaching. Her results are impressive and inspiring! She also generously shares her secrets;)

Photo - dreamstime.com

We met when we were only twenty. Third year at the institute, first adult love, romance of rock, which we were both fond of, creativity - he draws, and I write poetry and texts. Nothing foreshadowed a pessimistic mood until emotions and passion subsided, and were replaced by... selfishness and youthful immaturity in being responsible for one’s actions.

The first quarrel - he was late for a date, and I could not contain my irritability. The first temporary break - he became jealous of an old friend. Then there were not the first tears, nightly phone calls and the feeling that the magical feeling could be lost, and at the same time fear. I was so afraid of losing this man that I literally went crazy. To say that I humiliated myself, indulged him, ran after him and was ready to fulfill his every whim is to say nothing. If at that moment he had demanded my life, I would have given it without hesitation. Thoughts of suicide, by the way, also came in moments of despair.

Now I understand that by completely losing self-respect, I also lost his respect, and this was one of the reasons for the change in his attitude towards me.

I remember one moment most of all. After another quarrel, I wanted to make peace and ask for forgiveness (though for what, it’s unclear, but I always apologized, as long as the conflict was settled) and went to his house across the city. He was at home, but... didn’t open the door for me. I knocked, drummed with my fists, breaking the skin of my hands on my knuckles, and in some desperation and madness I kicked the leather upholstery of the door. I don’t know why none of the neighbors looked out at this noise, but my young man still opened the door. He opened it and I couldn't say anything. In that emotional outburst, it was so important for me to reach him in every sense, and then what? Perhaps I myself was comfortable in this humiliation, in this way I thought I was showing my love. Because I put him above, because I allow him to treat me the way he wants. Now I understand with a sober head that under no circumstances should we stoop to this level. And then my condition could be compared to drug addiction, a disease. And the root of this syndrome was in one thing - will he really not marry me, which means we won’t be together, which means I’ll lose him? No, this cannot be allowed!

Cohabitation is not the path to marriage

Our day began and ended with a telephone conversation. We said “good morning” and “good night” to each other. In general, we were constantly in touch, if not together. From the very beginning of the relationship, my lover gave me a feeling of absolute helplessness without him. He even accompanied me to the clinic or to a job interview. This was his personal initiative, and I was so used to this guardianship that I did not understand how I could live differently. And naturally, I was constantly tormented by the question: what will happen to us next?

By the time we had been together for 4 years, he asked to stay in my apartment for a couple of weeks until he found a new place to live. However, these couple of weeks dragged on for a whole year. He emphasized that our cohabitation is not a civil marriage, but forced circumstances. At first, I was pleased by the fact itself - now we live under the same roof, which means I can prove myself as a housewife and potential wife. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, laundry and leisure. For a short time our relationship really improved, and somewhere ahead the prospect of official marriage and a real family loomed. But the illusion of happiness quickly ended. During the next conversation about plans for the future, my man clearly said: I don’t plan to marry you now. Maybe someday, but not now.

It was a bolt from the blue. Yes, there are couples who consciously choose this path - an open relationship. But brought up in different traditions, and like any girl who dreamed of a family and children, I wanted a completely different picture of our future. Childfree or - this is not about me.

Stupid questions

Since we were together for quite a long time, we managed to acquire a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances. All this time they got married and had children. All general parties and holidays boiled down to stupid questions: when are you planning a wedding, children? I usually hid my eyes in shame to these attacks, and my boyfriend replied that we weren’t thinking about it yet and didn’t really want to. One day he even said that I didn’t want this. I was bursting with anger, but again I was ashamed and embarrassed to object to him. This meant admitting to everyone, including himself, that he, like me, did not need this relationship.

However, the hardest thing was to stop comparing and projecting others' relationships onto ours. Not in our favor, of course. This led to new scandals and depressions. Slowly but surely I turned into a hysterical person.

Epiphany

It’s not hard to guess that from constant tears, worries and thoughts about a man, I completely abandoned myself. Now, at 30, I look much better than I did at 23 or 24. Ungroomed hair and eyebrows, excess weight, a wardrobe that hasn’t been updated for a long time. In addition to the experiences of love in those years, I was faced with the purchase and renovation of an apartment (almost alone), several jobs at once, and teaching at a university. I overwhelmed myself with work so that I could think less about my personal life. But it turned out that I completely abandoned myself.

Everything changed overnight. I went on a business trip and... met another man for whom I felt sympathy. We had nothing, but the feeling that there were still people nearby who I might like, and they might like me, blew up my sense of the world.

As if I had come to my senses from a terrible dream, I sat down and wrote to my now “ex” SMS asking him to vacate my apartment and leave the key to the neighbor. Three days later, I returned to my sweet home with a feeling of absolute freedom and lightness, and the first thing I did was change my hairstyle and wardrobe.

Six months later we met my current husband. He proposed to me a month later, and six months later we got married. My ex-boyfriend and I no longer maintain any contact. I know that he is still not married, but is in a relationship with an older woman who has a child. He once told me that he was not ready for the responsibility of marriage, much less children. But, apparently, it was not about him, it was about me, or rather about love, which died a long time ago, and I never managed to resurrect it.

For a relationship to progress, it constantly needs an emotional boost. When a couple has long been established, the lovers should think about officially getting married.

But often a man resists marriage, coming up with more and more excuses. Only psychology can help you understand this situation.

Many women don’t even try to understand why men don’t want to get married, but immediately go on the attack, blaming their partner for their misfortunes.

If a partner constantly provides an insignificant reason, then this is an excuse. Otherwise, you should listen and understand the man.

How to understand a man who doesn’t want to get married:

1. The guy doesn't want to get married because of social inconsistencies.
2. Due to material problems, disagreement may arise regarding the conclusion of an official union.
3. Family troubles that can occur on the part of a partner.

If a girl insists on her own, without taking into account the feelings of her partner, then the civil marriage will collapse quickly and miserably.

You need to try to find out the true reasons, revealing your feelings and assumptions about what is happening.

Attention! There is no need to constantly talk about wanting to get married. The partner will need time to recognize and understand the problem.

When a man understands and is aware of the problem, he will begin to solve it. Otherwise, there is no point in moving forward with this partner in life.

Causes

Before you begin to analyze the current situation and make hasty decisions, it is worth finding out the true reasons.

A representative of the stronger sex can provide a wide variety of explanations, according to which he can draw conclusions.

Note! If the excuses are too banal: “I’m not ready,” then this is a sign that the man does not consider you worthy.

In other cases, there is a chance to persuade a man to marry. To do this quickly and effectively, it is worth finding out the reason. Then you need to convince your partner that the reason is insignificant.

Reasons for a man’s reluctance to enter into an official marriage:

What does psychology say?

Modern people are trying to explain what is happening using psychology. With the help of this science it is easier to understand the motives and explain what is happening.

From a psychological point of view, the problem may look completely different.

What psychology says:

1. A young man can categorically refuse marriage if his parents were unable to create a full-fledged family.

   As a child, she suffered psychological trauma due to constant quarrels and scandals.

2. The problem of the modern generation is infantilism - the desire to go against the established norms of society and morality, to receive only pleasure from life without restrictions for oneself.
3. The influence of society and the morality it lays down, which is determined by the framework of the mentality of countries. A striking example is the Americans, who find it easier to have a child together than to get married.
4. Different views on future life. If a guy wants to build a career, and you want to have 5 children as soon as possible, then you don’t have to wait for an offer.

   You want to live in an apartment building, and your partner will move to the countryside and grow potatoes. Most likely, the couple will break up in a short time.

5. An avid bachelor or an obedient son of his mother. Reluctance to say goodbye to one’s freedom and obedience to one’s mother’s advice are the most terrible and invincible enemies of a girl who wants to get married.

   It is difficult to break a formed personality.

In some situations, psychologists blame the girl herself. It is important to be able to approach your partner correctly, taking into account his psychological problem.

Attention! There is no need to mix astrology into psychology. If a man is a Scorpio, this does not mean that the reason is excessive passion.

Joint visits to a psychologist can help resolve the issue and determine the man’s future desires and actions. The relevance and effectiveness of the sessions depends on the desire of the partner.

What should a woman do?

Usually women fall into depression, panic, begin to become hysterical, and look for answers on women's forums.

Such actions can lead to the complete collapse of a long-term relationship. It is worth considering a strategy of behavior in accordance with the situation.

Qualitatively, no one can influence a man in terms of marriage except the woman herself.

What should a woman do in this situation:

• If we live together. You shouldn't constantly reproach. A common-law husband can deliberately become a tough opposition. You need to carefully push him to a decision, making sure that the man comes to this decision on his own.
• If you already have a child. There is no need to put emphasis on the baby and blackmail him with this. It is better to pay attention to how the baby will feel in society in a family without official obligations.
• In the case of a man's basic fear. A woman should wait for a more compelling reason that will give impetus to a difficult decision. Remove irritability and anger, which is provoked by indecision.

If he said that he definitely doesn’t want to get married or you understand this on your own, then you shouldn’t waste precious time - it’s time to leave!

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